Blue Skies & Wilted Daffodils
by ridingondreams
Summary: Newmoon AU: Bella runs away once Jacob starts avoiding her. She wants to become a vampire so she can confront Edward and receive closure. However, things take a turn when she gets recruited into the Volturi . . . Volturi fic ExB
1. A new way to ease the pain

**Twilight Fanfiction: "Blue Skies & Wilted Daffodils"**

This story begins from a part is a New Moon AU. Which, I know, you've heard it all before... but just try it. :) It starts at the end of the two weeks where Jake was avoiding Bella in New Moon (right before she learned he was a werewolf).

Note: Omit the portion of New Moon where Bella goes to the meadow and Laurent attempts to kill her, and then the pack chases him down and kills him. In my story, Laurent never came to Forks; he stayed with the Denali's.

_Bella loved Edward, and he broke her heart. She couldn't blame him; he deserved better. She was finally taken somewhat out of her disarray by family friend Jacob Black, but then she leads him on and he doesn't want to see her anymore. Or, is that the reason? How will Bella cope when Jacob, too, leaves her? One things for certain: she's not about to sit around wallowing in self pity. Bella is going to find a way to ease the pain._

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer is amazing. I wish I had dreams about vampires (I only get daydreams). She created this amazing universe of mythical creatures, I'm only messing with her ideas. You rock the world Stephenie. =]

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**Prologue:**

After Bella goes through the shock and pain of Edward leaving, she is in unbearable agony. What will she do to numb the pain? She finds refuge in Jacob Black, but it's been two weeks since she's been with him, and the two people she had trusted with her life really doesn't care about her anymore. She can't blame them; what's so special about her? She now has to figure out how to deal with her new depression. Will she be able to find a solution to her problems?

**CHAPTER 1**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I don't know how long I lay there; I didn't pay attention to time anymore. Time doesn't matter. Everything is just empty ever since...since...since _he_ left. I can't think about that. The pain is so vivid, not numbed as it once was. I can't ever think of _him_.

The only way to tell that time has passed is from the bright light outside the window slowly fading darker and darker into the pitch black of night. Charlie's out fishing with Harry Clearwater; no need to make supper tonight. It's not like I could eat anyways, even if I tried to make myself something to eat.

I had been getting better, or at least, surviving. Jacob was my sun, he overshadowed the gloom and made everything, or almost everything, appear good. Positive. Now he's gone, too. My sun is gone, and I'm left in the suffocating gloom.

Why is Jacob avoiding me? Well, I guess it's not that hard to figure out. I led him on. I never meant to, I only had wanted him to help me fix those bikes, so I could be reckless—not the only bearer of an empty contract. Why can't I just give him what he wants? It's not like, like _he_'s coming back. He's gone. I never was good enough for him. I've always known that. It's not just because he's absurdly handsome, blindingly fast, and amazingly beautiful smelling, but because he was agonizingly perfect and selfless in every way.

So, if he's gone, then why can't I just make Jake happy? I like holding hands with him, I like our carefree laughs and easygoing conversation. He makes me happy, so why does it feel so wrong to be with him the way he wants me to be with him?

I don't love him. Not in that way. He's like my brother, he's there to support me in everything I do. He takes away the pain and makes me feel whole. I can't survive without him. But I don't feel anything towards him like I had for...for..._him_. I still dream of him, I still have nightmares, I still feel the never ending emptiness of living without him. I can never feel for Jake the way I felt and still feel for _him_.

Maybe that's not the only reason Jake has stopped talking to me. I mean, there's nothing really special about me. _He _left me, so why wouldn't Jacob? Besides, I don't blame him for it. I am in need of repairs everywhere; I'm not in proper working condition. Maybe Jake has decided it's just too hard for him to try to fix me, or live with me and all my damage.

I heard the key in the lock then, and knew Charlie was home. I should get ready for bed; I don't want to worry Charlie any more about me not taking care of myself.

Suddenly, a new idea came into my mind. _He_ left me, so did Jacob. Life isn't just black and white, but gray. Here's a new plan of action, one I hadn't considered before. I could find a vampire—Laurent is out there somewhere, and Victoria too. I heard the..the...the _Cullens_ mention Aro, Cauis, and Marcus before. I know what they smell like, the way their pale, granite skin sparkles in the sun, the melodious rhythm of their voices, the fast way they can run, their unbelievable strength and the golden or crimson colors of their eyes. I could be one of them.

**Part 2: Jake's POV**

It's been almost two weeks since I've seen her face. I miss her, need her even more than I did before my change; before I started avoiding her. I miss her sweet phrases, her cute jokes and adorable teasing. I miss her big, brown, chocolate eyes and long chestnut hair. I miss her hand in mine and the careless way we would talk. I miss everything about her. I feel like my whole world is coming apart without her. I can barely breathe without her near me.

Sam won't let me see her. Though, I still run around her house every night to make sure she's safe, and I know she's there from the screams of her nightmares. I wish I wasn't the one now causing her pain. She trusted me to always be there for her, and now I've let her down.

Not that she'd love me anyways. I'm a werewolf. She'd be repulsed by me, frightened even. I know it. Yet somehow she managed to fall in love with a vampire. A repulsive, disgusting, sickly sweet smelling vampire. I hate Edward Cullen. I hate him for being near her, for constantly putting her in the path of death. Even more, I hate him for hurting her like he has, for breaking her into pieces and taking the life away from her eyes. If I ever see him again...

She loved Cullen. Why wouldn't she love me? But then again, why _would_ she love me?

My hands then started trembling, and I felt my whole frame to my core being to shake. What if she didn't accept me? What if she refuses to be near me? How could I handle being away from her? How could I live with her dislike? She is the center of my universe, how can I even try to live without her?

BAM! There goes my last pair of shoes. My body quivered and burst into a large four legged creature—a wolf. I can't control my fury anymore, and I can't keep my thoughts to myself either. I can't _be_ myself anymore. Sam is in control. Not that I don't like him, he's pretty cool, but I hate being ordered around. At least he doesn't abuse his powers, even though he is the alpha and could if he wanted to.

He does, however, enforce that we cannot tell anyone what we are, and also that I cannot see Bella. Isabella Swan; the love of my life. I will never love anyone but her; see anyone but her. I have to find a way to tell her..._some way_.

"_Jacob! Stop thinking about that! You know it's dangerous for all of us if you let her know what we are, and that it puts her at risk too if you see her. You cannot afford to make that risk. I know you don't want to hurt her." _Sam's controlled voice in my head told me. I can't listen to him though...I _will _find some way to tell her, some way to let her know I've never stopped loving her. Some way to restore her trust in me, some way to be with her again...

"_STOP. NOW." _Sam's alpha's voice commanded, "_you will _NOT _disobey me; you will be loyal to your pack and follow my instructions. You _will _keep what we are a secret, and you will not see her." _Fat chance. As if I could just not see her, as if I could stop being with her. I _need _her. I _will _find a way to be with her.

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

It might work; I have nothing to lose. If I were a vampire, maybe he would be more attracted to me. Or, if he wasn't, at least I could see him again...know what he is doing. Nothing here holds any interest for me. I have nothing left to live for. Just Charlie, but he was fine before I came to live with him, he'll be fine after. Renee has Phil. No one will notice if I'm gone but them, and they'll get by without me. I can't keep on going in this world as a human. I have to be something more, to show him that I can be good enough for him, or at least show him that he and I are good for each other.

But, he doesn't think so. He said so himself; I'm no good for him. I know that. So why would I want to be a vampire if it won't change anything?

If I was a vampire, I'd be beautiful. I'd be graceful. I'd be fast, melodious, perfect. Maybe I'd find more meaning to life if I weren't human. Maybe I'm just not meant for this life.

I could go to Alaska, I've heard them mention the Denali clan—they're 'vegetarians' too. But, would they change me? I know they'd have the restraint necessary, but maybe they'd think that changing me would make him mad. I'm sure they know he doesn't love me anymore, that he left me and never wants to see me again.

Laurent was supposed to go there though. I could convince him to change me; I could offer to be his mate if he would change me. I know I don't love him, but I could pretend. Although, it's not a secret that I'm not the greatest actor around. Maybe I won't have to act. Jake doesn't love me, he doesn't love me...maybe I need someone like Laurent. Or another vampire. Maybe the immortal realm will suit me better....

Or, at least I could try to make him jealous. Maybe he'd change his mind if he saw that someone else liked me. It was worth a shot. But how could jealousy change how he feels towards me? If he doesn't love me, jealously won't change that we're not meant to be.

I could see Alice again, though. And Jasper. Emmett, Esme, Carlisle...

I wrapped my arms around myself as I fell to the floor. The searing pain ached through my whole body, opening the unhealed wounds again. I had to see them again, I needed closure. The only way I could ever see them again is by becoming a vampire. That's what I have to do.

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**Will she find the Cullens again? Will her pain ever fade? And if she leaves, how will Jacob deal? Although, according to Bella, he just doesn't care about her anymore. So there'll be no drama there.... right? **

**Thankyou to Mikay Cullen for informing me Bella's eyes are brown chocolate, not hazel. (i thought hazel didn't sound right when I wrote it.... lol)**

**Read and Review! **

**I've got the jist of this story planned out, but any feedback or ideas would be awesome. =]**

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	2. Gone

**Previously: Bella decided the best way to deal with the nothingness inside of her was to get answers, get closure. And the best way to get that: by becoming one of _them_. **

**What will Jake do when he finds Bella gone? Will Edward find out, too? Will Alice see a vision? How will Charlie feel? And Renée?**

**Read on to find out!**

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**CHAPTER 2**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

I went into the first drawer of my brown cedar desk and grabbed a sharp pair of scissors. It was midnight, and the darkness only lasted for so long. I knew what I had to do now.

"Dear Jessica," I began to carve into the wooden floor beneath my bed,

"I can't handle life without him. It's too hard. Nothing matters anymore. I know I can't change his mind, but I feel that I have to see him again. One last goodbye. I can't stay here in Forks any longer. I know I'm not good enough for him, I know he doesn't want to see me again, but I'll try to just see him from a distance. Hopefully, I'll see you again, too. I love you all so, so much, and always will. I'm sorry that I can't just stop loving you all; believe me, I've tried. I know I'm not welcome anymore, so I'll try very hard to not bother any of you in the slightest way.

All my eternal, never ending, unbreakable love,

Bella."

I finished scratching this in the floor, trying to think of Alice in hopes she'd only find this if she ever came looking for me. I didn't need him seeing Alice with a vision of me sad and dejected looking. I owe him this distance.

Now, how will Al...er...'Jess' find this note? I twirled the scissors around aimlessly, hoping for some sudden inspiration; any idea that would work. Then I thought of the perfect thing—my blood. It certainly would attract her attention. Although it's most potent to him, I know it's still powerful to the others too.

I grabbed the scissors again and tried not to wince in pain as I brought them over the vein in my arm; over a long scar that still resided from the shattered glass after Jasper attempted to lunge for my blood.

The scar reopened easily and the blood flowed out, pooling into each of the letters I had just engraved. As the blood dried, the bright scarlet letters turned to dark crimson. I knew Charlie would never see it there; the letters were small and the blood blended into the wooden paneling of the floor. But, I knew it wouldn't escape a vampire's gaze, especially with that smell.

I tried to breathe through my nose as I grabbed a towel to dry off a pool of blood that had not yet dried. Time was running short. I tended to the gash on my arm, and as the blood flowed down the sink I felt as though it took my whole way of life away with it.

It was time for change. I grabbed my ragged old backpack from my closet and tossed in various clothing items and personal hygiene products. I put in some money as well, and the old radio that had been left in my truck that still had _his_ scent on it. The bag was soon very full, and I knew if I put anything else in it I would not longer be able to carry it.

I took a pen from my desk and some paper from my school bags as I began to write some sort of an explanation to Charlie,

"Dad,

Sorry to leave so abruptly. I would've told you goodbye, but I didn't want you to stop me. I can't stay here any longer, dad. I've loved living with you very much; don't think this has anything to do with you. It's just, I don't fit in here. Nothing feels right. I can't go on pretending to be happy anymore. I'm not happy. I've tried to act happy when I'm around you, but I don't know if I ever fooled you. I hurt alot, still. It's been months, and I know that no longer how long I wait nothing will change. I have to try to find somewhere that I fit in, some place that I can be happy again. Some place where I can once again feel whole.

I feel like I'm existing, but not really living. Time is standing still, and the pain only intensifies as the nothingness increases. Please, dad, don't worry about me. I know how to take care of myself. I'm not suicidal, and I'm not crazy. I just need some time alone to think and decide what I want to do with my life. I need to clear my head and get away. It's something I need to do all by myself. I'll write you though. You won't be able to reply, because I'll have no permanent address, but at least you'll know I'm okay. I may email you, but please don't track me. If I do phone you, which I will try to, I won't be able to stay on very long because I don't want to be tracked.

Dad, I don't want you to find me, so please don't try. Just be happy that I'm going to have a chance to explore the world. I love you so much dad! Have fun with Harry and Billy, and catch lots of fish for me! Tell mom I love her, and Jake too. Sorry dad; really, I am. Again: please, please, _please_ don't worry about me. Goodbye dad, be happy.

All my love,

Bella."

I choked down a sob in my throat and rubbed my weary, bloodshot eyes. I folded and kissed the tear stained paper, before finally placing it on my pillow.

I printed off a map from Forks to Alaska yesterday at the Newton's store, before deleting my browsing history. So, now it's time to leave.

I slipped the map into my pocket and tossed the rugged brown bag over my shoulder. Taking the keys into my shaking hand, I left this house and all its memories behind. It was time to leave this way of life forever.

**Part 2: Jacob's POV**

She's gone! I went around her house last night, as I do every night, and I couldn't hear her screaming, or sleep-talking, or even the gentle murmur of her soft breathing or the light thudding of her heart beating.

Maybe she was at a friend's house. Or visiting Renée, or out somewhere else. Where else would she be? Why was I so scared? It's not like she's hurt...right? She's just out. Where, though? She never goes out; she never leaves the blessed house! She's a zombie; dead ever since Cullen left her. She was slowly getting better; I was changing her, brightening her life. Now I've pushed back all the progress— ruined it. Why am I such a monster?

I paced back and forth while sweat dewed on the temple of my forehead. I suddenly remembered that I hadn't seen her old burgundy truck when I walked past her drive, and fear flooded through my veins. Charlie's cruiser was still in the driveway, and I could hear his light snoring as I stood staring at the house in panic.

_What if she ran into the redheaded vampire? What if one of the Cullens came back? Could there be another vampire in town? Was she off doing something reckless, like with the motor cycles or when she went hiking alone? Why isn't she in her house at this hour of night, and how come her dad is peacefully sleeping in bed?_

I'm being paranoid, of course. She could be over at Jessica's or Angela's, perhaps catching a late movie in Port Angeles; who knows; maybe she's out visiting Renée in Phoenix. Except, Charlie would've mentioned that to Billy, and I know Bella isn't close to any of her school friends anymore. Just where could she be?

I ran home and woke up Billy, hoping he'd have an explanation.

"Dad! Dad! Wake up! Bella's gone! I went to her house, but she's not there. Her trucks not there either!" I panicked to my father, my face going white.

"Calm down Jacob. There's nothing to be worried about. The girl's probably just out somewhere. Wait until the morning and then I'll casually ask Charlie how she's doing in one of our conversations."

"But dad...if we wait until tomorrow, it may be too late." I urged.

"Sorry, Jake, but there's nothing we can do about it right now."

I ran all the way back to the Swan's house, and paced outside all night until the sun rose. Still no sign of Bella. It wasn't until seven that I heard any substantial movement in the house; Charlie was awake. It seemed to take forever for him to get out of bed, and I could hardly breathe as I waited to see if he knew where Bella was, or if her disappearance would shock him just as it had to me.

"Bella? Bella? Where are you Bella? Bella?!" I heard Charlie question apathetically, then nervously, then with shock and horror in his voice. He had not known she was leaving. Something happened to her.

I didn't know where she was, but I had to find out.

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**Poor Jake, and Charlie! **

**Read & Review please! :]**


	3. Goodbye, be happy

**Previously: Bella packed up her bags and set out for Juneau, Alaska. Leaving behind notes for Alice and Charlie, she leaves Forks to join in immortality. Will she get her wish? Will Isabella Swan become a vampire, or the next meal? Or will she find any vampires at all? **

**Will she find any of the Cullens after her expected transformation? And will Jacob care when he finds out Bella's gone? How will Charlie and Renee deal? **

**Read on to see!**

**Disclaimer: "Comatose" lyrics are property of Skillet. I in no way have possession of them. (Although I wish I did!). **

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**CHAPTER 3**

**Part 1: Alice's POV**

Bella?

My eyes turned blank as I was hurled into an all-too-familiar vision. Bella, again. No matter how hard I tried to block her out, I keep getting flashes of her. This time Bella was in her room, but what she was doing, I didn't know; I shook off the vision immediately.

Edward made me promise not to go looking for Bella's future. But, just because I'm not looking, it doesn't mean I don't see. I've caught glimpses of her silently crying, pale and frozen, mute and trancelike, and the worst of all: the piercing screams from her unconscious nightmares, "EDWARD! EDWARD! NO! Come back...please..._please_! I need you! I can't live without you! Edward, I'm sorry! I'm sorry; I'm not good enough for you, but please... just hold me in yours arms one last time! Alice... Alice! Don't leave too! I need you...I NEED you! ALICE!"

Shivers go down my spine as I think about it. Surely, she'll get over it. She _has_ to get over it. She will, won't she?

She's in so much pain, and I have to see it every bloody day! Maybe if Edward would get his butt over here and actually stay with his family, he could read my mind and freaking know that Bella is _not _okay! He keeps acting like she'll get over it.

"She has to. It's her only hope," is all he'll ever say.

I've tried to convince him, but he's set in his ways. He's just as stubborn as she always was.

He has no way to know if we do or do not have a soul, but I can't see why this "God" would throw all of us vampires into hell just for the sake of being vampires! It doesn't make _sense_.

It's not what you _are_ that gets you into heaven, it's what you _do_. And according to this "God", if Edward asked for forgiveness for the murders he's committed, and whatever other bad things he's done, he'd go to heaven once his cursed existence ends!

This God who Edward is so scared of, he says himself that it doesn't matter what bad things you do, as long as you stop doing those bad things and ask to be forgiven for them! And Edward has stopped, at least the worst of them. He is no longer a murderer. He is _good_. If he'd only put his effort in following this "God's" rules, he could freaking get back with Bella already!

And even if he had no choice in going to heaven or hell, Bella is in hell right now as it is, anyways! I don't know if she has it in her to get over something like this.

Edward keeps telling me, "She'll be safe; she won't do anything stupid or reckless. She promised....she _promised_."

Well I know mighty well she promised; I saw exactly what she said before she ever said it, but that doesn't mean she'll stick to it! She's broken. She's bleeding. Edward sees that, but how can he be so naïve as to say she'll just get over it?

Jasper feels horrible and terribly guilty over what happened. I am constantly getting ashamed and guilty vibes from him, before he realizes that he's projecting his emotions unto me. I try to tell him that we don't blame him for going after her; that his thirst wasn't his fault, but he keeps taking it on himself. I wish he would stop. It's _not_ his fault. Edward was working up his will to leave long before that; that incident was just the catalyst. Something would've happened sooner or later.

While we drove away from Forks, Jasper could feel Bella's depression even hours after we left. He has never felt anyone with emotions so strong. Yet, Edward was and is still set in his ways.

Now, back to these visions.

I can't help but wonder what my latest one was about. What was she doing in her room? She was on her floor, doing something. Could it have been some sort of a blade in her hand? I didn't get a chance to see her, or a clear view of her surroundings. I had really wanted to see a glance of her face, but it's probably better I stopped the vision before I could. I always miss Bella and hurt for her the most when I see just exactly how much pain she is going through.

I _hope_ she wasn't hurting herself with that blade! Could she have possibly resorted to self-injury to deal with the pain? Please, please, _please _let that be a no!

I don't know how much longer I can take it. I saw that Bella and I would be best friends—whether in human or vampire form I hadn't known at the time, but the vision came true. Human Bella and my vampire self were best friends—now I've left her without as much as a goodbye. I _have _to see her! I feel like the worst person on the planet for doing this to her! How can this possibly be better for her in the end?

At least she's safe this way. No James, no trackers, no sadistic vampires chasing after her. She's in forks—a safe, small town. How much trouble can she really get in there, what with the vampires gone? She has Charlie to watch over her; she'll be safe. At least... safe from others. Will she be able to save her from herself?

My stomach lurched. She wouldn't _hurt_ herself over Edward...right?

**2: Bella's POV**

Hours had passed, but I still had so many more hours to go. Although I was leaving everything behind and hurting those I loved, I felt nothing but joy and relief at the thought of finally doing something besides sitting around and trying not to think of _him_.

To get to Juneau, Alaska from Washington would take me almost 3 days of straight driving. I'd do it happily, though. Finally, I have freedom. Freedom from Forks and all its memories. Freedom from school, home, Jake...freedom. No more worrying about trying to put on a happy facade, no more trying to fit in and act normal. It's time to embrace what I really am: a freak. After all, who in their right mind would leave home and set out to find the first vampire they see in hopes they'll be able to change them into one of them without killing them first. Why would someone like me want to be a vampire anyways? To see their vampiric ex again? To force themselves onto a family who clearly wants nothing to do with them, and thus make more of a fool of themselves? To get answers to questions that they don't even know they're asking?

I am extremely confused as to why I'm doing this; all I know is that it _feels _right. I haven't felt like I've truly been doing the right thing for so long...it's a nice change. A very nice change.

The sun is slowly fading into darkness again. My first day away from home. Today all I had to eat was the pop tarts I grabbed while leaving the house at just after midnight, and then the apple I had packed for the road. My stomach growled at me, yelling at me to eat. I ignored it though; I liked the pain.

Great; now I'm not only crazy, but a masochist too. I turned up the radio to drown out my thoughts, but the song wasn't helping:

"_I hate feeling like this, I'm so tired of trying to fight this; I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you. Tell me that you will listen, your touch is what I'm missing, and the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you. Comatose; I'll never wake up without an overdose of you. I don't want to live; I don't want to breathe, unless I feel you next to me. You take the pain I feel; waking up to you never felt so real. I don't want to sleep— I don't want to dream, 'cause dreams don't comfort me. The way you make me feel; waking up to you never felt so real. I hate living without you. Dead wrong to ever doubt you; but my demons lay in waiting, tempting me away. Oh how I adore you, oh how I thirst for you, oh how I need you. Breathing life. Waking up; my eyes open up. Don't leave me alone."_

Comatose by Skillet. Another round of tears fell down my colorless cheeks. That song, it describes me perfectly. I'm hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, and nothing can change that. Nothing will ever change that. I _am_ in a comatose state. I am dead without him. Everything I dreamed of for my life is gone; I'm empty inside without him.

The pain doubled over. Why did I think his name? It seems that with this new found determination to change the path my life is on, I have found the courage and bravery to think of him, of them. Maybe, it's because I know I'll get answers; I know I'll find the missing piece to my broken struggles.

However, I knew the reason why it was that I had this new found confidence. Why happiness, masked in bitter sorrow, was radiating from all over me: I was going to become one of them. I was finally going to be able to join this mythical world of theirs that, ever since I knew of it, had wanted to become apart of.

It's a bitter sweet ending for me—although my problems are nowhere near over. I've still yet to decide how I'll convince Laurent once I find him to change me. I know the Denali's won't agree because they will want to respect Edward's wishes, but Laurent hopefully will not feel the same. I'll get him alone; I'll find some way to get him to give me what I want, what I need. Heck, I'll do what I did for Jacob when I wanted to learn why the Cullens weren't allowed on the reserve; I'll seduce it out of him. I can promise him that I'll be his mate for ever and for all eternity if he does this for me. He might agree, right?

But if he does, how will I get him off my back? Then again, maybe it'll make Edward jealous...except that won't make him love me.

Maybe somehow I could love this Laurent. Possibly. And if not, well, I deserve whatever hell I might live in. Pain feels good after all of this.

Shoot. I really need to _try_ to stop being such a masochist. I need to learn to have confidence, to hold my head up high and show the world I`m stronger than ever.

Or at least, trick the world into believing that.

1300 miles down, 2400 left to go.

**Part 3: Charlie's POV**

"Goodbye, be happy." The words repeated themselves over and over again in my head. Where is she going? Why did she leave so abruptly? Does Cullen have anything to do with it? Or is it Jacob Black and the gang situation she had been telling me about? That must be it! Something must have happened with the gang...that and something with Edward too... maybe? I don't know.

How could I not see that she was in trouble? I mean, I knew she wasn't feeling as happy as usual since Edward left her, but she was surviving. What changed? Why hadn't I seen it?

I never spent enough time with her. I shouldn't have been working and fishing so much; she needed me. I let her down. What kind of a father am I?

Where could she be now? Is she okay? Is she safe? She seems determined on no one finding her; will she try to make herself impossible to find?

Please, please Bella...come home safely, and come home soon.

"Hey Billy, is Jake there?" I dialled the Black residence, looking for some answers.

"No, he's actually out right now. I'll get him to call you back when he's in. What's this about anyways Charlie? No more gang nonsense, right?"

"Maybe. Bella's missing. She doesn't want to be found or for me to look for her. She's planning on trying to find something to ease the pain she's going through. That couldn't possibly have anything to do with your son and what she was begging me to listen to her about some gang?" I pressed, angry at him for seeming to downplay the existence of any gang in La Push. I know Bella; she wouldn't make something like that up.

"Oh, Charlie, I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry. I can assure you that Jake and any of the other kids down here on the reservation had nothing to do with it. I'll make sure to talk to Jacob about it when he gets back, however."

"Well, thanks Billy. Let me know if you hear anything. Bye."

"Yeah, see you." Then I heard his phone click off.

So, he denies any involvement between Bella's disappearance and any kids from the reservation. Well, time will tell if that's true. I just hope it's not too much time.

Please Bella, please...be okay.

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**Wait, will she find Laurent??! What about Jacob? And is Edward comming back to check on her? How is Bella's plan going to work? And will it be everything she hoped? Will she get over her comatose state and be filled with life again? Can she move on?**

**A/N: I do know that the Denali clan is actually from Denali, Alaska; however, Denali, Alaska is a National Park, and having the Denalis come from Juneau just makes more sense in my opinion!**

**Please review!! =]**

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	4. Janeau, Alaska

**These chapters just keep getting longer with each one I write! **

**Previously: Alice catches a quick vision of Bella, Charlie reads Bella's goodbye letter, and Bella left for Alaska. Now she has arrived; what will happen to her, thousands of miles away from home, without any idea as to what she is planning on doing?**

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**CHAPTER FOUR**

**Bella's POV**

My scanty food supply is completely gone. Fruit, crackers, granola bars; all I could fit into my bag has been devoured. Not to mention I am extremely sleep deprived, and I still have no idea where to find Laurent (besides the knowledge that he was somewhere with the Denali clan). Juneau, Alaska; that's all I know.

I pulled into a park and lay down in my truck, locking the doors first, praying to God I'd be safe here; from both dangerous strangers and the city's police department. Luckily, I survived the night, not that I was able to sleep very well.

Juneau is 3225 square miles. How I was planning on finding these four pale people of stone, I didn't know. I wandered aimlessly around the city all day, watching for anything that resembled even remotely like what I was looking for.

"Hey, are you lost?" an older man of around 25 asked me. He was tall, well dressed in jeans and a jade sweater. He had olive eyes and long, shaggy dark brown hair. I didn't know what I should say. I decided on telling him the basics.

"I'm just looking for some old friends; I can't remember what part of the city they said they lived in." I lied casually, happy that my months of deceiving Charlie seemed to have paid off in some way.

"Maybe I can help, what's their name?" he inquired, sauntering closer to my open window.

"The last name is Denali. I believe that my friend Laurent is staying with them, although their names are Tanya, Katie, and Irina." I was happy I remembered being told this, although I was positive this man would have no idea who they were.

"I don't think I know them, but I can help you look..." he smiled at me; he was friendly. Very polite. I didn't think I could trust him, though. I know nothing about him. I might wind up dead by tomorrow morning, no vampires required.

"No thank you, I'm sure I'll find them. Thank you for your time!" I smiled politely as I quickly tried to force up the window.

"Aww, c'mon, you could use some company! Besides, you look pretty tired, like you haven't really slept in a while. You can come over to my house and clean up, have a rest, take a shower, fill your stomach." He looked hopeful. I didn't know what his intentions were; I hoped that he was just a kind soul who wanted to help out a girl in distress, although I could already tell that he wanted more than just the satisfaction of helping me out, but by now I was so hungry I couldn't refuse.

"Well, I guess. Where do you live?" I asked, ignoring the bitter feeling stabbing my stomach, warning me to speed away. I really hoped that I was right by trusting my instincts on going with him, and that this wasn't the stupidest thing I had ever done.

"Just a few streets away; I was just heading there. My car's being fixed right now so I have to get everywhere by foot." He tossed me a friendly smile as he walked casually to the passenger door, which I unlocked for him. He climbed in, and then directed me where to go.

His house was small, but comfortable. A bungalow, with yellow paneling and white shutters decorating the outside. He walked me to the door, making small talk all the while. There was a friendly emerald green kitchen beside a formal, old fashioned living room. It was a mixture of modern and traditional; I liked it.

"What would you like to eat? Fish, eggs, fruit, chicken... your wish is my command." He gestured to the fridge and a pantry stacked with food. I asked if he'd mind if I had some eggs. He smiled at me, and told me he'd be honoured.

"Sure, how's scrambled sound?" I nodded, and he continued talking. "Why don't you take a shower while I cook this up? It's is down the hallway to the right. There's an extra towel under the sink. You can borrow my clothes if you'd like; they'll be big on you, but at least they'll be clean."

I gave him a thankful smile before heading to the shower. I hoped that he wasn't some pervert with a video camera in his shower or some other similar thing. Maybe I was just paranoid; he was really very nice.

I had a nice, long refreshing shower, getting all of the kinks out of my back and neck. I lathered my hair twice before rinsing it thoroughly, then sighed and got out. I grabbed the toothbrush from my soiled backpack and began to brush my teeth. I towel dried my hair and combed out the tangles, before putting it in a messy ponytail. I opened the door and found he had left a pair of his clothes outside of it.

I pulled the oversized polo over my head, and then put on the sweat pants. Well; at least I got to wear something I felt comfortable in. I pulled the drawstrings as tight as they would go, and rolled up the pants bottoms so I wouldn't be tripping over them; luckily they had elastic ends.

As I walked back to the kitchen, the man smiled at me happily and placed a plate of scrambled eggs on the table, motioning me to sit down before taking the seat opposite to me.

"I hope you don't mind the clothes, I know they're a little big, but they seem to fit you well. The eggs are a little brown, is that okay? You can go rest when you're done; I don't want to overwhelm you." I smiled back at him, puzzled by his generosity.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know your name." I told him, while eating my delicious meal; anything would taste like paradise to my ravished stomach.

"I'm sorry, I'm a bad host! How could I forget to tell you that! My name is Christopher. I'm a photojournalist for the local paper, and I live here with my brother Alex, except he's out of state on a business trip. What about you, what's your name, where are you from, and what are you doing here?"

I had to think about this for a minute. I didn't want to tell him my real name, just in case he heard I was missing. He couldn't know where I live either.

"I'm Marie Hale. I'm from Toronto, Canada, and I came here to track down some old friends." There, Toronto; that should work. I passed close to it on my way here, and I've been there a couple of times with Renee.

"Really? Toronto? I have a few friends who live there; they like it. What part are you from?" he inquired, interested.

"Thee, uh, Scarborough area." I think that's a part of Toronto, although I wasn't sure.

"Oh, really? A couple of friends are from there, although most are from Etobicoke and North York. Well, anyways, how are you enjoying Juneau?"

"It's a bit cold for me, but then again, the winters get a bit chilly where I'm from, so it's nothing I'm not used to." I flashed him another quick smile.

"Okay, cool. So, what makes you come here alone looking for your friends whose address you don't even know?" He asked, trying to be polite and discreet, but I could hear the curiosity burning him.

"Well, I graduated from high school last year and felt like it was high time I used my new freedom, so, I thought I'd go on a road trip. I can't say I prepared the greatest, though. I probably should've packed some more food and clothes, but hey, it's an adventure." He smiled at me, clearly interested in what I was saying.

"Well, if you need anything I'm here. I hope you'll stay for a little while, though, Miss Hale; I think we could really become good friends."

"Yes, it would be nice, but I really should be finding my friends. Do you have a phonebook anywhere?"

"Sure, I'll go grab it for you. You should really get some sleep though, you look really tired."

"Thanks, that sounds great." I replied, smiling tentatively.

"There's a spare room next to the bathroom, you can sleep there. I'll leave the phonebook in the room for you when you wake up."

I thanked him, cleared my spot, and headed for the room. I switched into my ratty clothes while I slept so I could keep the new clothes clean.

Surprisingly, I slept easy that night. I guess after having only minimal hours of sleep in your truck, a warm bed becomes quite an attractive idea.

When I awoke, the phonebook was at the end of the bed like Chris had promised, along with a sticky note attached to it saying, "use the phone whenever you please. I have to get some information from my work, but I'll be back by ten. Help yourself to food. Don't leave before I get back. I'll be home soon, Chris."

Really, he was so sweet. Why, though? He has to have some kind of a story. I couldn't think of it right now, however. I had more pressing matters.

I made the bed and got dressed into my alternative set of clothing, then got some fruit and cereal from the kitchen. As I ate, I looked up the last name "Denali" in the phonebook. With any luck, they'd be there.

There were 39 Denali's in Juneau, Alaska. I began at the top of the list. At each house, I asked for Laurent, because I didn't want the others to know I was here in case Edward had mentioned our split to them.

Each person I called told me that I had the wrong number, and when I asked if they knew a Laurent, Tanya, Katie, or Irina Denali they all told me that they had not. All but one.

"Hi, is Laurent Denali available?" I asked in the sweetest tone I could manage.

"Sorry, may I ask who's calling?"

"It's an old friend, Bella Stanley" I didn't want to say Hale, just in case they matched it the Cullens.

"I'm sorry, dear, there is no Laurent here." Her voice sounded a bit different than it had a minute ago; strained. Why did she ask who I was if she knew I already had the wrong number?

"Well, do you know where I can find him? Or my other friends Tanya, Katie, and/or Irina Denali?" the lady on the other end paused.

"Uhm, no...I don't think I do..." I would've hung up, except for something about the way she said it seemed to imply that she did know exactly who they were.

"Please, Miss, this is very urgent. I need to talk to them; it really is a matter of life or death. My sister is fatally ill and needs a kidney transplant, and Tanya is the only person we know who we think may do it. Please, please Miss! I can't have my sister die!" I insisted urgently into the phone, pleased with how believable the lie sounded.

"Well, actually, I do. Please don't mention me though, there's just something about them...but please, just don't mention me. I want to help your sister, so I'll give you the best information I have.

I ran into them at the shopping centre a few months back, surprised when they were subscribing to a store's points program that we shared the last name. You see, my sister was separated from me when I was 6, and I wondered if it were her. Anyways, it wasn't my sister, but I had a...nice conversation with the lady. She did happen to mention she lived a couple streets away from the Super Mart we were at. I hope that helps; it's all I know." She seemed a bit hesitant to talk about what she knew. I was utterly thankful for this information, but I still had more questions.

"Thank you so much ma'am. But may I ask, you seem afraid of her, why is that?"

"I uh, well, I...she just, she was very beautiful, and a bit intimidating." She cut off after that, as if she'd said more than she'd intended on saying.

"Well, I must go, I hope I helped, wish your sister luck for me! All my hope, goodbye!" And with that, she hung up. Luckily, she had given me the exact information I needed.

I devoured the rest of my meal rapidly before cleaning up. I was just about to write Chris a thank you note when he strolled in the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked me, seeming concerned by the note I had started

"Well, I didn't know how long you would be, and I really do have to get going."

"You're going to leave? Just like that? After all I've done for you?! How could you?" he seemed upset and angry. Why? I was deeply confused. I supposed after all he'd done he wanted some kind of repayment, but what?

"Well, I do have to go find my friends. Is that a problem?" I asked, hoping he'd tell me 'no' and 'have a safe trip'. No such luck.

"You're not going anywhere." He growled, rage burning in his eyes

"Um, excuse me?" I asked meekly, scared by the look in his eyes. His body tensed.

"You heard me. I fed you, clothed you, let you clean yourself up and have a good nights sleep. You weren't just about to leave me unpaid, were you?"

"Umm...unpaid? How much did you want? My money's in my bag, I don't have much, but name your price." I practically whispered. His posture and actions were beginning to really frighten me.

"I don't want your money." He said with an evil glint in his eyes.

"...uhm...Christopher...?" I whispered

"Baby, come on, you know I want..." he smirked, coming closer to me. His voice was low and husky. I hadn't realized in the dim light yesterday just how large his muscles were. He could take me easily.

"Please...please...Christopher...please...let me go." I begged, staring at him with desperate eyes.

"Darling, sweet darling, I need you. I _want_ you. I've waited all night and morning....you can't deny me any longer." With that, he took another three large strides and placed his oversized hands around my small wrists. I hadn't been close enough to him before to realize, but he smelled of vodka and whiskey. He stared at me longingly with hungry eyes.

"Baby...oh, sweet baby. You're so beautiful, it doesn't matter if you're in rags my oversized clothes or rags, you're so hot. I want to see you, every inch of you...every curve...." He reached out and yanked his polo off over my head. I cowered in front of him. If I attempted to call the cops, I'd be taken home. If I didn't, well, I'd probably rather be dead than face going home at this point anyways, right?

I wish I had found Laurent already; if I were a vampire I could easily fight this monster off.

He reached towards me, caressing my arms and back. I flinched at his touch. He put his hands on my chest, and a few tears slid down my cheek as his hands continued to invade my body.

If only Edward hadn't stopped protecting me. At one put in life, he used to protect me from events such as this. Now, he couldn't care less. _'Oh,_ _Edward_. _I love you._' I thought in my head over and over again.

He then continued to slide one of this hands down over my stomach, passed my midriff....

His touch burned me; scarred me. I wanted to be struck dead right there. If only earth would be so kind.

He tossed me against a wall, pushing me against him. His eyes lit with passion as he furiously began to try to rid me of my coverings.

Just then, my saviour came through the door.

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**I hope you liked it! It has a bit of a cliffhanger. Who will save her?!**

**Review please!! :)**

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	5. Be Safe

**I hope you like this chapter! I was going to make it longer, but I think I ended it at a good spot.**

**I know there's not too much with vampires in this chapter, but be patient and keep reading!!**

**Previously: _He tossed me against a wall, pushing me against him. His eyes lit with passion as he furiously began to try to rid me of my coverings. Just then, my saviour came through the door._**

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**CHAPTER FIVE**

**Part 1: Chris' POV**

I ran into this beautiful girl last night, and I welcomed her into my home. I thought if I was nice to her then it would make her more inclined to stay. Girls often don't seem to like being with me, and I really liked this girl. Marie. She was beautiful, very sweet, and kind. Her clothes were dirty and a bit worn, her hair was ratty and unclean, and her bloodshot eyes had dark black circles beneath them. Despite all this, I could still see her beauty. I also knew that she was hurting. Why I didn't know, but she was here in this city alone, thousands of miles away from home. I wanted to help her. I wanted to claim her as my own.

I generally had a pretty clean record. I'd been to jail a couple of times, but not for anything big, at least I didn't think so. I had got out on bail easily each time. I wasn't a murderer, or a rapist, or any type of sex offender. I just saw her, and became infatuated by her. I wanted her; it would be so wonderful to have her as my own forever.

Then I saw her writing a letter to me, thanking me and wishing me goodbye. I couldn't stand it. My new hopes and dreams were suddenly crushed; here was another girl who didn't want me. My temper and anger came over me and I tensed to attack. I was full of lust, desire, and to top it off, anger. I was just about to do something that I would regret for the rest of the life when the front door opened.

Alexander.

**Part 2: Bella's POV**

Who is he?

I stared at the newcomer. He had shaggy red hair that fell over his emerald green eyes, his muscles were subtle but noticeable, and he was wearing black dress pants and a blue dress shirt, carrying a black laptop bag in one hand. He was taller than me, perhaps around Billy's height.

His eyes were full of shock. I hadn't realized until now that tears were flowing down my pale white face. He stared at me, then at the hands gripping me towards the wall. His eyes changed from shock to fear, and then he screamed, "STOP CHRIS!" as he ran across the long hallway from the front door to the kitchen, ploughing into Chris.

"Stop, Chris! You don't know what you're doing! Stop, cool down; Chris, Christopher!" the stranger urged, but his words had no effect. Chris grasped me harder and I cried out in pain. He grabbed at me, bruising me, hurting me. I tried to defend myself, but he was holding me put.

Just then, the red headed stranger grasped Chris and threw him to the floor.

I stood still, eyes wide, staring at the scene before me. Chris had gotten up and was going after the stranger.

"Alex, stay out of this! She's _mine_! It's none of your business!" Chris yelled at the stranger, Alex.

"No, man. She's not yours; she's a person, she has feelings, and you're not respecting them!"

"I think I know her feelings better than you do, Alex."

"And how long have you known her? 3 days? 2 days? I've only been gone 72 hours, Chris, and I'd have known about her if you met her before I left. Please, just give yourself a chance to calm down so you can think straight" he urged

"I _am _thinking straight. I want her. And it's none of your bloody business!" Chris spat.

Alex looked at me then, desperation wide in his eyes, "hurry, call the police! I'll hold him off!"

"No." I told him, barely more than a whisper. I can't go back home. Not yet. Not now.

"Wha...Why not?" He was confused. Of course. What sane girl would refuse to call the police when she had nearly been raped, and still had the chance of it happening. Obviously, he thought I was crazy. But, having people think that about me wasn't a new thing.

"I just...I can't...I don't like cops." I sputtered out. Alex stared at me, looking like he wanted to say more, but at him, gripping his neck his hands around his neck from behind.

"Please, please....please stop." I whispered, and then broke down. All the emotions I'd been holding in....pretending for Charlie, for Angela, for Mike, for Jessica, for Renee...the feelings of helplessness, despair, hopelessness—they engulfed me, and soon I was on the floor, gasping for air. I was breaking into deep, uncontrollable sobs. Both men froze and stared at me.

Alex recovered first, and used his advantage to pin Chris to the ground, grabbing a pot from the cupboard to knock him out. He then focused his attention on me. His eyes were filled with apologies, as well as sadness, and the burning undercurrent of curiosity I knew he would have.

I looked down at my feet, unable to look into my saviours eyes. I wondered to myself why Alice hadn't caught a vision of this. Surely this would a noticeable event, why didn't she focus on it and try to help me?

The truth was unbearable. She didn't try to help me because she didn't care. If she did see this, she probably only caught a glimpse before blocking the vision out. I wasn't her problem anymore. I wasn't _their_ problem anymore. I wasn't right for Edward. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't Alice's sister anymore; I wasn't Carlisle and Esme's daughter. I was just Bella; alone, without anyone to help me. All I had left was my determination to find answers. _Where did he go? Did he ever really love me? What was the reason that really caused him to leave? Why did he lead me on? How could he tell me he loved me, and then tell me I was no good for him?_

Although, no matter how bad I wanted answers to these questions, I already had them. He left to find someone else, for his _distractions_. He did love me, or he thought he had, then he realized he was wrong. The catalyst for him leaving me was that he realized I was just a weak human, after all, and he didn`t want to have me sticking around for eternity to change that. He didn`t intend to lead me on, he just didn`t realize what he had wanted at first. He didn`t realize I was no good for him. He only thought he loved me. Or maybe he really did, and then just had a change of heart. Maybe I was some sort of human experiment.

The answers were painful, and although I could answer all the questions I had myself, all I wanted was for my suspicions to be confirmed; to know for certain that I meant nothing to Edward, and that he regretted ever meeting me. I needed these answers; I needed closure.

"Are you all right?" the emerald green eyes dug into my bloodshot, muddy brown one, breaking me out of my thoughts. He held towards me the polo Chris had ripped off me, and I pulled it on, eager to cover myself.

"Yes. Thank you." I told him quietly, my voice hoarse from my recent adrenaline rush and from the crying.

"Don't thank me. I owed that to you. He was out of line, I'm so sorry. Isn't there anything I can do to help you? Anywhere I can take you, anything I can get for you?"

"No, thank you. I was just about to leave when...when...this happened. I'll be fine." I stood up then, grabbing my bag from the counter and picking up a pen to write the Denali lady's number on a piece of paper to take with me...just in case.

"I'm Alex, sorry to have not introduced myself. I'm Chris' roommate; I was away on a business trip. He is usually better behaved. He takes medication but he never takes it unless I'm home to remind him. I'm his brother, by the way. And your name is....?" he was very polite, but I was still scared.

"Uhm, I'm Bel....err, Marie, Marie Hale. I'm in town looking for some old friends, and your brother offered me a place to stay for the night. I should have been more careful." Shoot. I almost slipped and said my name. I really needed to work on this whole lying thing.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Marie, although I wish it wasn't under these circumstances." He was about to say more, but I had a question I was burning to ask.

"Excuse me, Alex, but if you don't mind me asking....why would you ask me to call the police, I mean, they would have taken your brother to jail." I stuttered, not knowing if that was too impolite to have asked.

"Well, it's not as if he hasn't been there before, and besides, I didn't want him to hurt you. Which brings me ask...why don't you like cops?" he probably thought I was some juvenile delinquent runaway. He didn't understand, though. It's not that I don't like cops, Charlie's a cop himself; it's just that I don't want to get caught. I don't want to go home, not back to all those old memories, not back to my own personal hell.

"It's...personal." I wanted so badly to tell him, for whatever reason I don't know, that I didn't want the cops to find me. But I couldn't. It would only make him more suspicious if I told him that.

I headed towards the front door, ready to run for it. I didn't want to be in this house any longer than I absolutely had to be.

"Hey, wait, if you have to go let me at least get you some more food first." He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. He turned around without waiting for an answer, then began packing foods into a duffel bag for me. I saw him put some money in too, and a few extra sets of clothes. He was very nice, although I suppose he thought he should be since his brother nearly raped me. He really should be trying to make it up to me, although I felt no hostility or anger towards him. It was hard to feel anything other the depression that consumed me.

He handed me the bag gingerly, gave me a delicate smile, then he wished me luck and told me to be safe.

If only he knew what I had planned. Sure, I wasn't going to accept a night in a stranger's house again, but I was planning on roaming the streets of Juneau looking for pale-skinned stone people. Vampires. People who thirsted for human blood, desired it, lived for it. Even though the vampires I was seeking refused the delectable liquid from human's blood, that doesn't mean they didn't still desire it.

I was going, all alone, to find creatures thousands of times stronger than me—hard as granite—, as fast as lightning....creatures whose natural instincts would be to kill me if I got anywhere near them.

Yeah, of course I was going to be safe. Who was I kidding.

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**So, Bella is off to find the Denali clan. Will she actually be able to find them? Will she be able to get Laurent on his own? Will he agree to Bella's proposal? And also...what other things are waiting to go wrong?**

**There wasn't much about vampires in this chapter, but I thought this was important to add to show how little Bella cares about self preservation anymore, and her overwheling drive to become a vampire and find some answers, not just the _why's _but also finding out for herself what she should be doing with her life.**

**I'll update asap, but in the mean time..... review! :) please and thankyou!**

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	6. A 'smart' plan

**Thanks so much to nickiegirl123 for tossing ideas around with me; now I'm pretty sure I know how the whole story is going to go! Although I am still open to suggestions =]**

**Please comment + review! I don't like writting unless I know people are actually enjoying it! lol**

**Previously: Alex saved Bella from Chris, and she fled the house.**

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**CHAPTER SIX**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

I jumped into my truck, hitting the gas and speeding away from that house— never looking back. That's just what I have to do from now on: look forwards and never look back.

I had a page out of the phonebook with information on the Juneau Super Mart. It had the store's address and phone number on it. I hoped I'd be able to locate it without having to scrounge up some quarters for a payphone, but bad luck seems to follow me wherever I go.

Then again, it was some pretty good luck Alex showed up when he did. I guess it's one of those "is the glass half full or half empty?" things. It's like looking at the world, this beautiful world, staring at the long, stretching blue skies, and then looking at the wilted daffodils and letting them cloud your vision.

I wasn't letting the dead flowers get in the way of my clear sky anymore. I was going to think positive, of all the good things. I had to. I'm planning on living for eternity; after all, I better at least attempt to make it a happy one.

I was driving down a long street when I saw one lonely store; a Wal-Mart Supercenter. This is the place; 6526 Glacier highway. I drove around the area, counting nearly 20 side streets in the subdivision. I read the names of the streets, overwhelmed by the number.

All the streets were named after flowers; daisy, fireweed, wild rose, forget me not...

Edward. _Edward_,_ forget me not. Please Edward...._

What was I doing? I was trying to think positive, yet even just street signs remind me of him. I'm fighting a losing battle.

Now, where should I start my search? I decided I'd try the super market first, and if I saw no beautiful, pale, stone hard beings there, I would go door to door to each house in the neighbourhood. I'd have to run into them sooner or later. It really was lucky that the lady on the phone had run into the Denalis before and knew where the area was that they lived. I'd be driving around this town for months if I wasn't so lucky.

'_See? Good things are going to happen after all. Just be positive.' _I told myself. It was true; I just needed to keep my head up high and take deep breaths.

I pulled into the parking lot and parked my noisy, oversized truck in one of the few empty spots. Then I rethought that idea, thinking that my truck might be on the news. I certainly couldn't have anyone seeing it and looking for me.

I drove my truck down to the end of Alaway Avenue, parking it in a bushy green forest beneath the tall stone rock cliffs. Before I left I grabbed a clean set of clothes from my bag and changed in the truck. I didn't need anyone staring at my dirty, oversized clothes, drawing even more attention to myself.

I combed out the messy tangles in my hair and put it up in a high ponytail. The sun was still high in the air; it wasn't yet noon. I tossed my ratty bag over my left shoulder as I tiredly made my way back along the street; all the way across the long distance to the store.

When I reached the front doors I took one deep breath, and then walked inside. I hadn't been inside a store in months, besides the Newton's.

This mart was bigger than any stores in Forks; Forks is just a small town, with a population of 3120; Juneau's has 30 690 people in it. Seattle is even bigger than Juneau, though, and Phoenix bigger yet, so it shouldn't be too overwhelming.

I took a cart and placed my backpack in it, giving my shoulders a much needed break. Where to start? I walked through the pharmacy, garden, electronic, clothing, makeup, jewellery, pet supply, outdoor, home decoration, craft, and food sections before finally leaving. I did use some money to buy an energy drink out of the soda machine. I was thirsty, and needed an extra push.

I had looked everywhere in the store and had not spotted one person who looked like a vampire. Although, I have to say, I hadn't expected to. It's not like vampires often need to stop in at a store and pick something up. However, I did know that Tanya and her sisters had a thing for human men, what with them being populous, soft, warm and all. There was definitely plenty of men here who would be eager enough to spend a night with any one of them, yet they were nowhere in sight.

I left the store feeling a bit disappointed, but still determined. The sun was lower in the sky, but I still had plenty of time to go door to door.

I started on Schneider Drive, following to Iris Lane, then Violet Street, Lupine, Forget Me Not, Butter Cup, and Shooting Star, ending with Columbine Crescent.

At every house I asked, "Hi, is this the home of Laurent Denali?" And the would reply, "Sorry, you've got the wrong house. There's no one here by that name." Then I'd ask if they knew where I could find him, and they'd tell me "Sorry, no". (Or at least, this is how the conversation went with the people who were polite; others didn't have quite the same manners.)

Whenever I reached a house where no one answered the door, I wrote the house number on a piece of paper, just in case they had been out and that was the house I was looking for. I'd go to them tomorrow when I started my next round of houses.

The walk from Columbine to Alaway Street was barely manageable; I was freezing, overtired, and hungry—but I made it.

I grabbed a blanket from under my seat in the truck, and wrapped it around myself, lying down to stare out the windows. It was going to be another cold night. I hoped that no one would see me and call the cops, reporting a misplaced vehicle. Luckily, I was hidden by the forests trees, away from the public eye.

I dreamt of Edward that night.

"_Bella, Bella, my sweet Bella, where are you? I didn't mean it, I love you, I love you." He came towards me, taking me in his arms. "I'm sorry, I'll never leave you again," he whispered in my ear._

_"It's okay, I knew you'd come back for me. I love you, Edward." I kissed him then, and he kissed me back._

_Just as I did, Jake came striding towards us, "Jake, Edward's back!" I called excitedly. _

_Jake shot Edward a murderous glare and the next thing I knew they were fighting. Edward leapt at Jacob, lunged for his throat, and killed him. I shared at him in shock. _

_"How...how...how could you? Why? Why Edward, why?" _

_He looked at me then, his eyes blood red. "I was wrong, I don't really love you. I don't know why I came back." With that, he ran out the door, leaving nothing but cold air behind him. _

_I stared after him in shock, calling after him, "Wait! Wait Edward, wait! It's okay; I forgive you, it's okay". _

_Then the realization hit: he wasn't coming back. I began to shake uncontrollably on the floor. _

_"Bella, Bella, I love you." Edward had come back! I smiled at him, happier than I had been in months. He picked me up in his cold, stone arms and his cool lips dusted the surface of mine. _

_Then he suddenly inclined his razor-sharp teeth towards my throat. _

_"Yes, Bella, I love you...I've never smelled blood so good...." And with that, his teeth pierced into my skin..._

I woke up screaming. I realized it was only a dream, and flung my hands towards my throat. As I did this, I saw a shadow move in the forest, and I stared after it.

"Edward? Edward, is that you? Edward?" I called, following the shadow. I couldn't see where it had went, but I kept following it anyways.

"Edward. Edward, please. Stop, I need to talk to you! Edward...?" I began to panic. I had followed the shadow deep into the forest, and now I had lost it, and had no clue where I was. Salty tears fell down my cheeks as I curled up on the forest floor, waiting for daylight.

The déjà vu only made the nightmares worse.

**Part 2: Jake's POV**

She's been gone for five days now. The police are doing all they can, but as of yet they haven't found much. They're trying to find her truck, but no one has reported seeing it yet, or her.

Soon after she was reported missing, Billy and I went over to comfort Charlie. He showed us a letter Bella had left for him. She said she was sorry to leave so abruptly, but that she didn't want to be stopped. She told him how much pain she felt, how hard it was to just get through one day, and I thought I was going to cry.

This is all my fault.

I should've talked to her! I should have been there for her. I promised her I would always be there for her, and then I left her. I shouldn't have listened to Sam; I have the real alpha powers, I could've overridden his commands! Why, why didn't I? She wrote to Charlie to tell me she loves me in her letter. She cared about me, she trusted me, and I let her down. I'm just as bad as the filthy bloodsucker!

I was about to leave, unable to take being in that house any longer, when Bella scent hit me strongly. It was coming from her room.

I asked Charlie if he'd mind if I looked around to see if I could find any clues, and he agreed.

When I reached Bella's room I recognized the smell more clearly: it was blood. I began to panic, wondering what might've happened to her.

I followed the scent to under her bed. There, carved into the wooden floor, was a note stained in red. Bella's blood.

I read it quickly, "Dear Jessica, I can't handle life without him. It's too hard. Nothing matters anymore. I know I can't change his mind, but I feel that I have to see him again; one last goodbye. I can't stay here in Forks any longer. I know I'm not good enough for him, I know he doesn't want to see me again, but I'll try to just see him from a distance. Hopefully, I'll see you again, too. I love you all so, _so_ much, and always will. I'm sorry that I can't just stop loving you all; believe me, I've tried. I know I'm not welcome anymore, so I'll try very hard to not bother any of you in the slightest way.

All my eternal, never ending, unbreakable love,

Bella."

The filthy, reeking, no good bloodsucker! This was him; all his fault. She was going to try to find him! After all I had done to try to comfort her, she still wanted him. The leech! He doesn't care one bit about her!

My hands began to shake, then my arms, and soon my whole body was trembling. "_Calm_", I told myself.

I had to tell the pack about this. We have to find her. We just _have _to.

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

I woke up on the cold forest floor. I stretched, stiff, and then got up slowly. I found my truck easily with the morning sun. I grabbed my toothbrush from my bag, and brushed my teeth, using a water bottle to rinse. At least I could smell presentable, even if I don't look it.

I walked back to where I left off last night, starting on Scott Place. I followed Scott to Fireweed, then Wild Rose, Daisy, Whitehead, Hummingbird, and Raven. Still no Laurent, and still nobody who knows who he is. Maybe the lady on the phone was wrong.

I began to worry, unsure what I would do if Laurent was not found here. I ate my lunch quickly: some granola bars and crackers from my backpack, washed down with some warm water. I then began my trek again.

By now I was on Blue Jay Avenue, which took me to Robin, where a lady told me that she thought she had heard of a family with the name Denali that lives in the area. That was a good sign.

I continued onto Mallard, and finally Renninger Drive.

Renninger was a long road, stretching deep into the forest, with one part of it jutting into the wooded area. No Denalis there. I continued on the road, passing a small section of houses, before finally reaching a dead end, where one last lonely house stood.

"Please God, please let this be the house," I prayed.

I knocked twice on the door; no answer. I knocked again; still no answer. I thought about leaving, but for some reason, I thought this house was the one. I looked over it carefully. It was away from all other houses, near the forest. The perfect house for a vampire to live in; secluded. They didn't have to worry about the neighbours seeing them, and at the same time, they were close to their prey. I knocked for the third time, and this time someone answered.

"Hello?" a chime-like voice asked, coming from a beautiful, pale woman. She was taller than me; slim, with long silvery blonde hair and golden eyes.

Bingo; I had the house.

"Hi, I'm looking for Laurent." The woman shot me a confused expression, then called into the house with her voice not raised any higher than it had been talking to me, "Laurent, you have a visitor."

"Who is it, Irina?" I heard a male, also bell-like voice ask. It sounded like soft velvet, the same as Edward's.

"I don't know, but she wants to speak to you." Laurent was soon at the door, staring at me with the same confused expression.

"Hello, Laurent. I need to speak to you. Alone." He stared at me, still confused, but he followed.

"Irina, Katie, Tanya, I'm stepping out for a few minutes. I'll be back shortly." Irina stared at him with curious eyes, but she said nothing else.

"Come, get in my car. They'll still hear you unless we go out a distance." I followed him to his car, my heart thumping. Here I was, with a newly vegetarian vampire, trying to convince him to bite me.

Yeah, this was a smart plan.

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**So, what will Bella say to Laurent? How will she convince him to change her? Will he do it? Will Katie, Irina, and Tanya find out who she is? If Bella does become a vampire, what will happen then??**

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	7. Succubus

**So, here's the next chapter! I was going to continue, but I thought I'd stop it here, and write the next part in the next chapter. It'll be updated soon though! I hope you enjoy this, although it's not the most interesting, it's needed to build the plot.**

**ps, thanks so much to Larynn, for being the first person to write me a review, and continuing to write awesome reviews that brighten my day since then! :)**

**Well, enjoy, and happy reading!**

**Previously: **_**"Irina, Katie, Tanya, I'm stepping out for a few minutes. I'll be back shortly." Irina stared at him with curious eyes, but she said nothing else. **__**"Come, get in my car. They'll still hear you unless we go out a distance." I followed him to his car, my heart thumping. Here I was, with a newly vegetarian vampire, trying to convince him to bite me.**__** Yeah, this was a smart plan.**_

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**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**Laurent's POV**

I had been in the library reading a book when I heard someone knock on the door. I immediately listened in to see who it was; we don't get many visitors.

"Hi, I'm looking for Laurent." A human girl requested of Irina. I listened harder. I don't mix with any of the humans here; it's hard enough to just avoid drinking their blood, I couldn't manage to actually be close enough to be friends with them too.

Irina called for me, and I asked her who it was. The girl sounded familiar, I was trying to put together her voice and smell to other human girls I've met in the past.

"I don't know, but she wants to speak to you." Irina called back to me, confusion evident in her voice. I was confused, too.

I was at the door in an instant, and I recognized the girl immediately. Bella Swan. This was the girl James had gone after when I was still with his coven in Forks. Why is she here alone? Or is she here alone? I didn't smell any other vampire's scents on her.

"Irina, Katie, Tanya, I'm stepping out for a few minutes. I'll be back shortly." I didn't want to point out who she was; she seemed to be acting as though this was a private thing.

"Come, get in my gar. They'll still hear you unless we go out a distance." I informed her, although I wasn't sure why I didn't want them to hear us. I seemed to be getting the vibes from her that she wanted this to be just between the two of us, alone.

I led her to my car; an olive green 2008 dodge viper. I haven't used it too much, I usually stick close to home and the forests, but it was still nice to have.

Bella seemed to be nervous as she got into the car, although it was understandable why. I was already having a hard time controlling the burning in my throat. Luckily, I had hunted all last night and was full of animal blood. It definitely is not as filling or alluring as human blood, but it suffices.

"So, Bella, where is your vampire family; Carlisle, Esme, and the rest of the Cullens? Are they with you? Or are you just here with Edward?" I questioned, beginning the conversation. She almost seemed too nervous to do so. I didn't smell any other vampires around here, although I couldn't imagine why she would be here alone.

"No, the Cullens are not with me, and neither is Edward." Her voice was strong, yet I could hear the underlying nervousness in it. I was surprised by her answer. Although I assumed it, I saw no reason for a human girl to go thousands of miles away from her home, alone, to talk to a vampire.

"Really? Weren't you like, some pet of theirs?" I smiled at the thought. Some vampires are so...interesting....with their relationships with humans. Tanya, Katie, and Irina are like that, too. They enjoy their human men thoroughly. I would know with my hearing...

"Yeah, I guess I was. But not anymore, they've...they've left Forks. Edward and I split up." Her voice showed a hint of pain, but I barely noticed it; I was too busy thinking about what she had said. The Cullens had risked all of their lives to keep this girl from James, they ran and fought and murdered for her, and now they've just let her go?]

"Why would they just leave you like that? I thought you were...very important to them."

"I _was_, I guess. But, I was never good enough for Edward. I just wasn't right for him. He moved away with his family, and he told me he didn't...didn't want me to with him." She coughed then, and it almost sound like she had held back a sob.

"So, if you are no longer with the Cullens, then what brings you here to Alaska, Bella?" This was the question I was most eager to know. I could not think of one single reason for her to come all this way to find someone who she barely knows, who struggles with not drinking human blood.

"I came here to see you. I have to talk to you about...something." she looked away from me quickly, the blood flowing easily to her cheeks. I restrained myself from inclining my body closer to the pooling of blood, and wondered what it was she had come here to talk to me about.

"Okay, well let's hear it."

"I...I was wondering...I don't know that you'll think, but, I thought maybe you might not mind, if there was any way you would.....if you would change me into a vampire." Her voice was barely a whisper by the end. I held back a gasp. Why? Why would she want to be a vampire? Her vampires left her, if anything the best thing for her to be now was _human_. Unless, perhaps she wanted to track him down and get revenge, or try to convince him to take her back...or _something_. But why would she want to? She has no reason to be a vampire!

"I see no reason as to why you would want that...if anything, wouldn't it be best for you to be a human now that the vampires are gone?"

"I've tried, Laurent, I have, but I can't keep living like this without them. I need answers from him, I need closure, I need one last goodbye. You have no idea how much of a wreck I've been since he left me...my mom and dad seriously thought about having me committed. I have nightmares every night, I've lost all my friends, and life holds no interest for me anymore. The only thing that interests me is this; the immortal realm. I have to...I have to get answers. I need closure. I don't care what happens after that. I'll be a nomad, wandering around alone. Or maybe I'll be able to attend high school again, by myself, and make human friends. I don't know, I_ really_ don't know; all I know is that I want to be a vampire...I _need_ to be a vampire.

Please Laurent..._please. _I'll do anything. Just ask me, and I'll do it."

Shock flitted across my face. I could see her brokenness, as well as her hard determination to fill the emptiness within her. I am not without a conscious, and I felt sorry for her. She's been through enough. I wanted to do this for her, whether or not it would be the best thing for her in the end, but surely it couldn't hurt anything.

"Won't Edward be mad if I change you?" I certainly don't want any fighting happening over this.

"Oh, no. He doesn't care about me anymore. He told me before he left me that he won't interfere with my life again—that it'll be like he never existed." I saw how much this hurt her, and I almost wanted to comfort her. Imagine that! A vampire wanting to comfort a human! The concept was almost laughable.

"What happens when you do get answers, when you learn he just didn't love you, then what? How will your life be any better than it would if you were human?"

"I can't survive not knowing the details of why he left. I never even had a chance to say goodbye to him, or his family, or my best friend—his sister. I need to say goodbye, to tell them I forgive them and still love them, before I can ever feel whole again. Then I'll finally be able to start a real life." She was so determined, so set in her plan. It was fairly well-thought out too, I could see no flaw; although I still didn't see why _I _would agree to change her.

"Why do you think that I would agree to change you?"

"You have nothing to lose. If you kill me, well, you'll know you're not strong enough to change someone, and you'll wait longer before you ever try it again, if ever. It will be a good test for you. I'm sure you've wondered at least once before if you could do it. And if you do change me, I'll do whatever you want. I'll be your slave for eternity, or your mate, whatever; I don't care, so long as you change me." She was nervous, holding her breath, just hoping that I would agree. How could she want this so badly? I agree that she did make a good offer; I have always wondered if I _could_ change someone, but how could she care so little if I killed her? I suppose after all that has happened to her, she may think of death as a relief. But how could she offer to be my mate for eternity? What if she hated me? Could she really be so desperate?

I could never make her a slave, it is just not right, not matter how insignificant humans are, how could she even offer that?

She is very beautiful, though. Natural beauty; not the type of girl you see on the covers of magazines, yet individual and beautiful in her own way. I bet she may even top the Denali girls once she was changed.

She is sweet, and sensitive. Of course, I'm sure Katie, Irina, or Tanya would be my mate if I asked, but none of them really appeal to me; especially after seeing all their flings with human men. Succubuses have never really appealed to me, for some reason.

"How could you offer being a slave for all eternity, Bella? Do you really think that's better than just living as a human, without the closure you long for?"

"Yes. Anything is better than this. I would do anything to get away from this...this pain." She stumbled over her words.

I couldn't drag out this conversation much longer; I already knew my answer. I didn't need any more convincing.

"Why would you offer to be my mate for all of eternity, Bella? You barely know me, you could hate me. How can you offer that?"

"I've seen enough of you to know that you're an acceptable, decent man. I know, too, that I could learn to love you; it doesn't matter that I don't know you well know." She was so earnest, so true in her pleading. I couldn't say no. Truly, this was a win-win offer for me.

"How will your family deal with this? Are you prepared to never see them again?"

"I don't live with my mom anymore, and she's doing fine without me with her. I've only been living with my dad over the past couple years, and he was fine without me before that. I left him a letter, and a note for my mom. I know I'll never see them again, but they'll be okay. It's worth it." She was so determined, it shocked me. She really had thought of everything; I wondered how long she had been planning this.

"Well, when do you want to do this?" We might as well get it done now; the sooner, the better.

"Really? You'll do it?" Her eyes brightened dramatically, and for the first time since I started talking to her she looked truly happy. Overjoyed.

"Yes, of course. You sold your offer well. I will change you, and we can live together for eternity. I see you are true, and honest, and I trust you. You can get your closure, and get on with your life." I was almost excited—I hadn't really thought about ever getting a mate. The thought had never really occurred to me, although ever since I saw Bella in the field out in Forks I was slightly attracted to her; not that I'd ever admit it to Victoria, or Tanya, or Irina, or Katie...or anyone else.

"My truck is parked over on Alaway Street, near the forest. We should probably move that first so no one will find it. You can change me in this forest so no one will see me. I don't know if Katie, Tanya, and Irina know of Edward and my split, and I'm not sure if they'd agree with me becoming a vampire if they knew he didn't want me to be; I know Tanya has always liked him and wouldn't want to do anything against his wishes. I can get the blanket from my truck, and that's all I'll need while I wait for the venom to change me." She looked at me, gratitude filling her eyes, yet her comment on Irina, Katie, and Tanya made me nervous. Would this upset them? I might as well not let them know, at least not until after the change. Maybe they won't have to know at all.

"After the change, we could leave, and they would never have to know you changed. I know you don't want the Cullens knowing you switched, at least not until you work up the courage to get your answers.

"So, should we get your truck?" I asked, and I soon drove her in my car down to Alaway Street; we made small talk all the way. She was actually very nice, and funny. I think I could grow to really like her.

"You parked your truck _here_?" I asked, surprised as we reached the destination. She looked at me, confused by my comment.

"Yes...." she started

"Were you in the forest last night?" I watched her face, and saw the realization hit. So _she_ was the girl who was calling after me yesterday; I was wondering why someone was following me, calling me 'Edward'; I probably seemed exactly like him. Poor girl.

"Yes, I was. Was this the forest you were hunting in?"

"Yes it was, I felt like a change from the one behind the house. You scared me you know; I thought I was going to end up going back home with crimson eyes, as soon as I caught your scent. Luckily, I managed to get away." I made a short laugh, then she got out to get her truck. She loaded in, and drove it down back to my house.

I parked in the forest for her, knowing a human would never be able to park it so well hidden. Hopefully, I hid it well enough that the Denali girls wouldn't see it.

"Well...should we begin?" I asked her, beginning to feel a bit nervous. I wasn't sure why though, if I did kill her, I wouldn't have anything bad happen to me. Although, Irina, Katie, and Tanya would wonder why my eyes were red....

I must try really hard not to kill her.

"Would you get on my back?" I asked her permission, and once she nodded, I hoisted her warm, freesia scented body onto my back. I ran far into the forest, far past the house, right near the large mountain that was planted there. I knew it was cold, but soon enough the cold wouldn't bother her anymore. I should probably grab her a few more blankets, though.

"Is it time?" she asked shyly, clearly nervous now that her wish was coming true, about the pain and the whole transition.

"Yes. Please try not to scream. We are far away from the house, and the others won't be able to hear you from the house, even with their vampire hearing, but if they leave to hunt they will hear you." She nodded silently; she was scared, but put on a tough front.

I looked into her eyes as I told her one last thing, "This is going to hurt, it will feel as though you are burning. It will eventually die down in three days time, and you'll be able to join the wondrous 'immortal realm' as you call it." I smiled at her, nervously.

"Okay. Bite me." She said, grinning nervously. It was cute of her to make a joke out of it.

I inclined my sharp teeth towards her throat, and bit into her skin.

Her blood was delicious, much better than it smelled. I had refrained from human blood for so long, I had forgotten how delectable it was. I sucked the blood in, swallowed her, began to drain her. It was so good; I couldn't stop.

When my teeth first pierced her skin, she had let a loud, tremendous, piercing scream. It hurt my ears, but did not disrupt my focus.

However, it was when her screaming abruptly stopped that my focus was disrupted. She was falling into unconsciousness; I was killing her.

I leapt away from her, scared of myself. If I drank any more of my blood, my eyes would be red without even fully draining her. _They_ can't see me with red eyes.

I somehow managed to caress my tongue over the wound, sealing it with my venom. I had intended on making more bites to let the venom spread quicker, but I knew if I tasted her blood just once more there wouldn't be enough blood for her to survive; I'd of killed her.

As I wrapped another blanket around her trembling shoulders, a startlingly thought occurred to me: maybe being a succubus _isn't_ so bad, after all. I did quite enjoy the feeling of her skin against my tongue...

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	8. Nearly a Newborn

**I hoped you guys liked the last chapter! I don't know if I was moving to fast, but I'm trying to slow this down. Sorry, this chapter is mostly build up. I really hate it when stories just go from event to event without any build up or anticipation. (Although, build up is much harder to write!) I'll try to get to some more big scense soon, but I think I'm going to have do some more build up first. Tell me your opinion on it; I love to get your input.**

**Previously: Bella convinced Laurent to change her, and he does.**

**What happens now?**

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**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**Part 1: Alice's POV**

I'm sure I just caught a vision of Bella; pale and beautiful like a vampire. I swear I'm going crazy; obviously that's impossible.

I don't know how Edward is surviving this. I think _I'm _going crazy without her, and I'm not even the one maddeningly in love with her!

He won't answer our phone calls anymore. He won't talk to anyone, won't go anywhere, and won't do anything.

I try not to look for his future, as he asked me not to, but I still get flashes of him sitting around, sulking and doing completely nothing.

This is _killing_ him. I wish he'd listen to us and just go back to her. I understand that he doesn't want to put her in harm's way, and that changing her will damn her to eternal hell forever, but she wants it! Seriously, I know he won't give in or change his mind, but he's ruining both their lives so completely by being so absolutely stubborn on this. I wish there was some way to change his mind!

I've tried to talk to him, but he refuses to answer my phone calls. Jasper and I tried to visit him, but he refuses to see us.

It hurts me to see him so torn apart, so broken. I wish there was something I could do.

But there's nothing I can do for him, for either of them.

**Part 2: Bella's POV**

As soon as I began trying talking to Laurent, I became instantly nervous. He was living with three beautiful vampires, had some good money, there were lots of animals around to hunt; everything was going good for him. Why would he change me?

I racked my brain for the best excuses possible to give him, for the best things I could use to persuade him with. When he asked about the Cullens, I was fighting with all my might against the ripping hole that wanted to burn right through me. Their name pierces me, hard like a blade. They left me. My family; the people I trusted with my thoughts, my feelings, my life...they left me.

Laurent had all reasons to question me as to why I was here all alone. Heck, I had been asking myself that. Maybe I have finally reached the crazy mark and have cracked, I don't know. I was willing to trade him _anything_, give him _anything_, do _anything_ for him, just so I could be a vampire.

Oh, what Edward would think if he could see me now, "Wow, look how desperate she is. You'd think she'd be able to get over her boyfriend breaking up with her by now. It's not like we were that serious; sure, she met my family, I met hers, and we kissed several times, but we really weren't that serious. She's going crazy without me; I actually feel bad. Why did I ever have to have feelings for a human? I'm just as bad as _Tanya_. At least I had better self control. Well, I really hope Bella won't come trying to find me now...you'd think she would've gotten the point when I took all her memories of me away, when I told her we didn't belong together— when I told her I didn't want her to come with me; you'd think she would've gotten the point when I left her in the forest, sobbing and calling out to me. But no, she's just as stubborn as always. I really wish girls wouldn't get so attracted to me, it's really quite difficult..."

Edward. Could he possibly be thinking that? I had believed so much, so deeply, that he truly cared for me. Would he really, does he really, regret it all? I wish I knew. I know I certainly am not good enough for him, but to know the extent of how horribly wrong I am for him in his mind would certainly bring closure so much quicker. Although, I'm not sure if it will ever close the gaping hole inside of me.

"So, if you are no longer with the Cullens, then what brings you here to Alaska, Bella?" Laurent asked me, quickly tearing me away from my distant thoughts. His question brought me into panic mode; what was he going to think of my request? Of what I have travelled all this way alone, with many sleepless nights, with little food and the blistering cold biting at my skin, to ask?

I took in a quick, sharp breath, as I embraced myself for one of the hardest conversations of my life.

Yeah; as if flirting is going to help me here.

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Only minutes had passed, yet it had felt like hours sitting here in Laurent's truck, trying to convince him to do something for me that made absolutely no sense for him to do. Even from inside the car, I could feel the cold breeze piercing me, and I prayed a silent prayer that _somehow_ Laurent would find a reason to want to change me.

I tried to act sweet, cute; I tried to flirt and show him that if he did this for me, I really would be with him in whatever way he wanted. I would give him everything, trade him everything I am and everything I own, just for this one thing.

"Well, when do you want to do this?" his sure voice made me hush a silent gasp. He seriously was agreeing to this. He was _actually_ going to change me. I couldn't believe it. I _can't_ believe it.

"Yes, of course. You sold your offer well. I will change you, and we can live together for eternity. I see you are true, and honest, and I trust you. You can get your closure, and get on with your life." He replied to my startled request for clarification. Although I secretly wanted to gag at the thought of trading my life to him in exchange for him changing me, I held it back. I let the excitement I was feeling cover my eyes, and to my surprise, a smile crept up my face.

My plan was _working_! I was finally going to be joining the race of those who live forever: the stone ones; the cold ones; the _vampires_. I could give the Cullens a real goodbye, and continue to live my life. My world of the immortals was finally opening for me, and although life really held little interest for me anymore, this new world of mysteries was making me extremely curious.

**Part 3: Sam's POV**

Jacob is being exceptionally hard to deal with. It is not our place to stop her if she is leaving, even if she has intentions on becoming a vampire. We are protectors; protectors of La Push. I know the Bella has reason to be upset, but there's nothing more we can do for her. This is her decision. We cannot stop her or bring her back.

Jacob refuses to cooperate, however. I have had to command him not to go looking for her, and that's something I hate doing. I don't like taking away anyone's free will. Unfortunately, I've been catching him thinking about using his alpha right to break free of my command and look for her. I have told him not to do this, commanded him not to, and even pleaded him not to. There is only so much I can do. Luckily, he has no intentions on forcing other pack members to go along with his plans.

If he's going to go off looking for Bella, than by right he may do so. Though, I really would rather he wouldn't. He is important to us; he is one of our brothers. He refuses to cooperate with our rules, however, so it seems we may be having one of our pack leave us.

Switching to wolf form, I informed the pack of a meeting, _everyone, we need to have an important discussion. Meet at the forest to the east of the Clearwater's in ten minutes._

_"What's this about?"_ Seth questioned

"_Probably Jake and the leach lover" _Paul scoffed

"_Ugh, why don't we just let him go already? He's already shown us who his allegiance is to._" Leah spat.

"_We will discuss this when we all arrive. Please refrain from thinking about it until then." _I commanded. No need for them to get ahead of themselves.

--+--

_"I can't just forget she existed, guys. She's in trouble. I have to do what I can to help her. It's partly my fault this happened!_"

_"Jacob, it is not your fault. If you saw her, she would have been in serious danger," _I started to think, but his thoughts cut mine off.

"_Nothing would have happened! I wouldn't have hurt her!" _Jacob insisted.

_"You can't know that, Jake. It was unsafe for her and us for you to see her. You did the right thing, and this is not your fault. We all know it was the vampire who did this to her; who caused her all this pain. You couldn't have done anything more, and this is not your battle to fight. She is not your responsibility."_

_"Guys, what are you talking about?" _Jared asked.

_"Well, I guess we may as well tell you. Bella has run away, and she left a note in her room..." _I paused and showed the mental image of the note which Jake had showed me earlier.

_"Why don't you ask Jessica about it? Obviously this letter is for her." _Leah commented, snarky.

"_This message isn't for Jessica. Jessica was a 'friend' from her school; she had little to no contact with all of her friends ever since she and the parasite got together. This message was for someone else...a Cullen. She obviously coated it in her blood for a reason" _Jacob added to the discussion, his disgust with the vampire and agony for Bella evident in his thoughts.

"_Well, even so, what do we care if she wants to run off because she can't stand her pathetic life? If she wants to be stupid, let her be stupid." _I heard Jake growl at Leah's comment, and knew I had to intercede.

"_Jacob feels very strongly for Bella, and thinks it is his duty to bring her home safely. He has asked for permission to leave the pack and look for her..."_

_"NO_." Paul practically yelled,_ "There is no reason for the pack to be split up over this. Just because she's stupid, doesn't mean we can let our pack split up and have Jake prancing off to find her."_

_"Yes, I was getting to that. I have refused his request; however he has the true blood and rights to be the alpha. Although he has turned down the position, he is free to override my commands. He plans to do this, and go off alone to look for the girl."_

_"Jake, no buddy! Don't do that!" _Embry insisted. He was pained, and I could tell. None of us wanted us to lose a brother, no matter for how long the time.

"_I'm afraid we don't have a choice as to whether or not he leaves us..." _I started.

"_Then _why_ are we here?" _Leah cut in.

"_I was hoping you all would help me convince Jake not to do this."_I informed them, my thoughts bleak. The chances of persuading him to stay are not in our favour.

"_NO." _Jake refused, adamant, "_You cannot convince me to stay. I have made my decision. Bella is in danger, and she _needs_ me. I may have been able to ignore her needs when she was here, but I can`t do it now. I`ve hurt her, and I _have_ to make things right." _

"_Jacob, why don't we wait a bit longer and see if she comes back? The police are all looking for her, and her picture is up everywhere." _I insisted, hoping to change his mind.

"_Yeah, Jake. Tons of kids runaway, the police know how to handle it. They'll find her." _Embry insisted, trying to comfort him.

"_No. Don't you know how many runaways are never found; how many runaways end up dead? I will _not_ take my chances with this." _Jake's thoughts were fierce with passion, and I knew how serious he was in bringing her back.

"_Jake, please, listen to me. Really, keep your mind open, and think about this: Bella told Charlie that she would call him, email him, or send him a letter; she promised that in some way she would communicate to Charlie to let her know she was okay. Can't we wait for that to happen before we go running after her?_" I asked, almost pleading for him to see reason.

"_And what good would that do? Just sitting around, doing nothing, hoping that she might possibly contact Charlie. She might be dead by then...or worse!"_

_"Worse?" _Jared questioned.

"_Jake's afraid that if she finds the vampires, or runs across vampires on the way, they may bite her. Thus, she may become a bloodthirsty monster, like the rest of them." _I informed them, trying to keep my thoughts under control. I couldn't believe she would actually go _looking_ for them...after all that they've done to her... "_Jake," _I continued, getting back to our earlier conversation, "_How about we wait for a couple of weeks, see if she's contacted Charlie. If she does, we'll know she's safe. If not, well, you can make your own decision."_

_"But...I....she....what if...we can't...I can't wait a whole two weeks to know if she's okay. She could be dead by then! One week, no longer."_ Jake insisted. Good, a compromise.

"_Fair enough. A week today, if she has not contacted Charlie, or anyone else, then you have the pack's permission to go looking for her. Is that okay with all of you?" _I questioned the pack.

"_Sounds like a good plan." _Embry said, hoping to console Jake some more.

For all of our sakes, I really hope that Bella contacts us, and soon. I don't think anyone can handle any more of Jake here without her.

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**I really hope that you found that interesting! I'm really trying to tie in Forks and people from Bella's "past" with her "future". I also need some more build up, other wise it's not as exciting when big things happen. Do you think the story is going too fast? Should I slow it down? Add in more build up or fluff? Should I have more or less of the characters opinions from Forks (ie Charlie, Jake, Sam, and the cullens; who aren't exactly in forks, but are still from her past.) If you want a certain characters POV/thoughts, just tell me, and I'll try to work it in. Any opinions, thoughts, constructive criticisms, pros/cons, whatever....would all be much appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading, I'll update again by tommorow. I need to know people are actually liking what I'm writing to continue, so...please, review!! =]**


	9. Burning

**Ok guys, here's chapter nine. Thanks for the people who did give me feedback on the last chapter (Larynn, nickiegirl123). I really love feedback, so it would be awesome if more people would review and tell me what they think. Good, bad, any feedback is helpful!**

**So, some of you may be wondering "Um, are Laurent and Bella 'getting together'?!?" And, well, to that....you'll just have to wait and see. muah ha ha!!**

**This chapter is definetly my longest yet, I'm not sure what happened... haha. I just got into writting this and it seemed to need to be this length.**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

**Previously: Laurent bit Bella, and we see that Alice catches a vision of it. The pack are trying to keep Jacob from going after Bella. As well, Laurent amd Bella seem to be building a relationship.... what's going to happen next??**

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**CHAPTER NINE**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

Laurent drove me to get my truck, which was probably around a ten minute drive from his house (which felt a whole lot longer when you were walking it!).

He mentioned that he had gone hunting last night in the forest where my truck was parked. _Shoot_. He probably thought I _was_ crazy; he must have been the person I was calling after in the middle of the night yesterday, yelling, "Edward, Edward wait!" I wonder if he heard my frantic calling...

What a stupid question; of course he heard it. He's a vampire, for crying out loud.

He asked me to get onto his back; we had driven to his house from Alaway St., and were about to go deep into the forest there. My body tensed at this; the last time I ran with a vampire, it was Edward's back I was on.

I ignored the burning hole deep in my stomach as he lifted me upon his cold, stone hard back. I could feel the wind scorching my cheeks as he ran further and further into the depths of the forest. I wouldn't be surprised if we were crossing the city's border lines by now. I held my eyes tightly shut, and I think he noticed. I swear I heard him let out a low chuckle at my tense body. It's not _my _fault that my body can't handle motion like this. Besides, how does he know that _that_'s what I'm tensing at? I'm on a vampire's back, about to be _bitten_; hasn't the thought occurred to him that _that_ could be what I'm tensed for?

I doubted it. He seemed to be more of a funny guy. We seemed to understand each other pretty well for how little we knew each other, and besides having a good sense of humour, he was kind, sweet, polite, and had good morals—I could really like this guy. I guess I better, though, considering I'm trading him my existence as his mate for him changing me.

I wonder if his whole body will change. When Edward realized he was in love with me, he told me that his whole body had changed so completely that it was irreversible. (Although, it proved to be _quite _irreversible), but will Laurent and my relationship really alter his lifestyle, and how he functions?

This seems like a business deal, not love. Not that I'm about to let my feelings interfere with my finally getting immortality.

I remembered words I had said to Edward once, in what seems to be another world; an ultimate universe, "Bite me, Edward! I want to be a monster too!".

Well, _Edward_, it looks like you're not the only one who gets to make the decision on my mortality. Spite you, Edward!

Hmm, could I be getting a bit revengeful? I thought about that, and then had to laugh at myself for my own stupidity. I may hate Edward, he may have broken me beyond repair, he may have crushed all my hopes and dreams, and he may have ultimately ruined my life...but I still love him. Nothing will ever change that.

Laurent had stopped running and lightly pulled me off of his back. We were beneath a large, snowy mountain. I shivered slightly, but tried not to show it. I realized that the only thing left to do now was for him to bite me.

"Is it time?"I asked him shyly. I didn't want him to see how nervous I was; I couldn't have him backing out on me now.

"Yes. Please try not to scream. We are far away from the house, and the others won't be able to hear you from there, even with their vampire hearing, but if they hunt they will hear you." I nodded silently, trying to hide my fear.

This was it. I was finally getting what I wanted. In just three days, I would be an immortal being; one of the cold ones; one of the 'people of stone'; a vampire.

I was staring into his eyes, mesmerized by the beauty. It was nothing compared to Edward, but he was still more attractive than any human.

He looked at me then, too, and our eyes locked.

"This is going to hurt; it will feel as though you are burning. It will eventually die down in three days time, and you'll be able to join the wondrous 'immortal realm' as you call it." He shot me a smile then, and he almost looked nervous.

He seemed so...so _tough_. Could he really be nervous about screwing this up? I didn't realize he cared. I was almost about to get emotional on him, for being so kind, when I realized he was waiting for me to say something more before he would continue. Truly, he wanted to make sure I was ready.

"Okay. Bite me." I told him, grinning. Of course, I was nervous, and my voice may have been a bit shaky, but I thought I owed it to him to add a bit of humour to lighten the environment.

I watched him intently as he inclined his head towards me, and I held my breath. My stomach lurched. His razor sharp teeth were getting closer and closer, aiming for my throat.

Pain hit me sharply; it felt like a thousand daggers piercing into my skin. I was on fire. I gasped, and screamed a bellowing, loud, ear splitting scream. I realized what I was doing, and if I had the power to move my body at all, I would have clasped my hands over my mouth.

"_Please try not to scream._" His words echoed in my head, and I immediately cut the scream short.

He did not remove his mouth from my throat. His teeth were still there, piercing my skin. He was sucking my blood out from in me. I felt it; felt the tremendous pain, like having acid poured deep into the insides of my body. I began to convulse, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. I was seeing black spots in my vision. I was going unconscious; he was killing me. I was going to die.

"_Goodbye, Edward. I tried. It looks like we're really not meant to be together, after all. I hope you live a long, happy existence. I love you, I've always loved you, and even through death and whatever comes afterwards, I will love you."_

And with that, I blacked out.

--+--

I gasped out a loud, shocking breath. I wasn't dying, after all. In the back of my head I could feel when Laurent had pulled away, could sense when he stop the bloodlust frenzy; I knew and could feel him sealing the wound with his venom. I couldn't focus on that though; all I felt was the pain.

I fought with all the energy I had not to scream. Fire was filling my body; every single vein, every muscle, every cell felt like it was burning. My body shook and convulsed, but I tried to still it. I didn't want Laurent to see me suffer.

The pain continued, and I longed for death to find me. Why had I decided to do this? Why did I ever want to become a vampire? It won't change anything, Edward still won't want me, I still won't be in the Cullen's family, I'll never be able to see my family again, I've lost Jake forever...._what have I done?_

I felt the pain split through me, piercing me. I wanted it to overtake me; I wanted to stop fighting.

"Kill me! Kill me now! Death will be better than any of the torture I've felt on earth! Anything to stop the pain...the PAIN! Kill me; stop the pain! I long for _death_....give it to me! Take the burning away!" I longed to yell this out, to shout it at the world, but I knew if I opened my mouth that the screaming would never be silenced.

The minutes continued like dripping poison, slowly going through my veins. I saw every mistake I had ever made with my life, all the places where I had done the wrong things, interpreted the wrong things. I was wrong, so very wrong, about Edward. He never did love me, he was only interested in me because he couldn't hear my thoughts. By trying to see why he couldn't hear them, he started to like me; to want me. Only because he couldn't hear my thoughts. It wasn't me he wanted; it was the answer to the mystery. I was just mixed into the equation. I should have realized this; I should have known I was never anything more to him than a meek human. How could I be so naive?

Another sharp pain rocked through my body, and I felt as though a knife was being forced down my throat as I tried to stifle another scream. "_Just three days. Just three more days_", I kept repeating to myself over and over again.

As the pain continued to burn, I continued to kill myself over all the things I've screwed up on, all the things I've done wrong and messed up. Death had never seemed like such a lovely word.

I couldn't sleep, although I would have gladly welcomed even the worst of my nightmares at this point. _Anything_ would be better than this.

--+--

Days had passed, and the darkness that had covered my vision slowly began to subside. I had been near unconscious; seeing and feeling nothing but pain, but it was slowly ending. The torment, I could feel it slowly leaving parts of my body. My fingers began to become numb as the fire left in, then my toes, my feet, my legs, my arms. The time passed unbearably slow as the fire continued to burn within me. I was still wishing—begging for death, even though I knew the pain was slowly rescinding.

I then felt sharp, needle-like punches of fire all over my chest, my muscles, my brain. The strongest, most sensitive, most important parts of my body. Finally, the burning was only left in my heart too. And that, too, slowly began to fade.

It didn't seem real; the pain was gone. I lightly moved each section of my body, and was surprised by how I still felt like myself.

I could hear someone snoring, and was immediately scared. _Where was I? Where's the human? Have I been moved? _

Laurent had taken far into the forest, away from all people and civilization. But, why could I hear snoring?

I then noticed I could also hear cars driving on the streets, the light patter of snow dropping from the trees, the tapping of an ants legs crawling on a stick beside me.

Could Edward really hear _this_ well? And Alice? I had realized, stunned, that the person snoring was far in the distance, miles and miles away. Could I really hear that far?

I went to take in a deep breath, and realized it did nothing for me anymore. I no longer got relief for it; it was not a needed action. I had no heart for the oxygen to flow too. However, breathing was comfortable. It enabled me to smell.

Which, it wasn't just my hearing that had improved, but my sense of smell too. I had never realized that snow had such an aromatic, delicious smell. It reminded me of the smell outside after the rain; peaceful and relaxing. The dirt even had it's own smell, and the moss, and the grass. I could smell thing next to me, a foot away from me, ten feet from me....maybe even more than that.

"Bella? Are you all right?" A manly voice called, smooth like velvet, but with a slight hardness to it, as in wicker. I instantly realized this was Laurent, even though I had never clearly heard his voice before.

"Bella, open your eyes." I pondered his question longer, thinking about his voice, the smell of his body. I could calculate the distance from us just by hearing his voice; I didn't need sight. Although, I really should open my eyes...

What was that? I stared, noticing small fibres and bits of cloth. Stunned, I realized this was the detailing of Laurent's shirt I was staring at.

I moved my head towards him, and was shocked by how fast the movement happened. It was like my brain didn't have to comprehend the movement at all; my body simply did what I wanted it to as soon as I made the thought.

I made an effort to stand up, which was really very quick and graceful, and noticed that he was olive skinned; a realization I had never made before. I had never been able to see so many details. I examined his soft, flawless skin, his long black hair, and muscled arms before finally turning my gaze upon his golden eyes. They were liquid topaz, just like Edward's.

I gave him a warm, welcoming smile. It was all his doing that I was finally one of them; finally perfect in every way, too.

I walked towards him, happily surprised by how easy it was to not trip over my own feet. Maybe Alice and Edward were actually just as clumsy as me before they were vampires, too.

"So, Bella, how are you? I must say, immortality suits you." He gave a bright, charming smile then. One that made my heart stop, that is, if I had a heart.

_No Bella! _I practically yelled at myself. _You love Edward, not Laurent. Laurent is just some guy who helped you in getting closer to closure; you still loved Edward. STOP! Don't have feelings for you! It's not like he actually cares about you, anyways...._

I tried to stop those thoughts, but there seemed to be so much extra room in my head now, that even when I wasn't concentrating on it, I could still think about it.

"Bella?" Laurent prodded, obviously waiting for me to speak. I felt bad, I obviously should say something, but everything was just so...fascinating; so... distracting.

_Wow, look at that bird way up there, I can see the texture and detail on each individual feather..._I thought to myself, then quickly forced myself back to reality and the conversation at hand.

"Oh, sorry, Laurent, everything's just so....distracting...." I meant to say more, but I couldn't. I had heard a distinct, chime-like sound, and I wanted to know what it was.

Shocked, I realized that was _me._

"Wow." I said aloud, and Laurent seemed amused by this reaction.

"I know, it's a lot to take in. You'll figure it all out soon enough, though."

"Thank you. For everything. This means so much to me, it was so kind of you to do this for me. I'll never be able to thank you enough" I choked out, overwhelmed with joy.

"It was my pleasure, Bella, I'm just happy I didn't kill you...although I did come close. But, don't forget about our little bargain. Did you not offer to be my mate for life?" He smiled, amused. I wondered if he actually wanted to take me up on that offer, or if he was just going to point it out for a joke. Did he want repayment, though? And if he does, which I'm certain, then what will he want?

"If you would like, that was our deal, and I don't go back on my word." That is true. Unlike a certain someone I know...._Edward_. But did he ever promise to stay with me? I remember him at the hospital in Phoenix, I had asked him to promise to never leave me... "I'll stay, as long as it's best for you." He had told me. I scoffed at the thought. It wasn't what was best for _me_ he wanted; it was what was best for _him_. Not that I blame him; he really was too selfless; at least he's getting some backbone.

"I would like that very much, Miss Swan." He replied, startling me. Did he _actually_ want _me_?

"You...you actually want me?" I questioned, to clarify. I was shocked that _anyone _would want _me_.

"Yes, of course. How could I _not_ want you. I suppose you would have no idea how stunning you look without having yet see a mirror, but even before you were changed I knew you would be breathtaking. You're sweet, too. Kind, sensitive, a good sense of humour...besides, I don't really need a slave for life. Well, unless that and being my mate for hand in hand..." he joked. I couldn't be more surprised. I never knew he was so...._caring_.

"Well, I suppose I did offer both of those things..." I commented, wondering what he would say next. I wonder if this is what Edward meant when he said that I always surprise him; always left him guessing at what I'd say next.

"Yes, that's right! Luckily, you made that offer to a reasonably kind guy, so I'll just stick with the mate for life; sounds reasonable enough to me. I bite a girl, nearly kill her, inject her with poison, leave her burning for three days, then get my own person goddess for life. Yeah, sounds perfectly reasonable." He joked, and I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Uh-huh. Since when am I a _goddess_?

"So, where's this goddess? I'd like to meet her." I replied simply, in between joking and anger. Why do people always have to try to make me feel good and say I'm _beautiful_; I'd rather them just cut the lies and say the truth.

"I'm looking at her." He replied. I rolled my eyes.

"I suppose that sounds a bit corny, doesn't it? Well, I have all of eternity to work on getting better." Then he reached for my hand, and the advance surprised me.

I then realized that I seemed to have a thin layer of what looked like a clear plastic-wrap-like material around me. It was strong and appeared unbreakable. It clung like a second skin to my body. I knew it was there, yet I could only faintly see it. It had no smell, and I wondered briefly if all vampires have this. Perhaps this 'skin' was only able to be seen by the owner. Did Edward have a skin like this? I wonder. If he did, maybe no one else could see it but him.

That was when Laurent's hand touched mine through my second layer of skin, breaking me out of my thoughts. However, I never did feel his fingers touch my skin. The layer stopped his hand, like a rock solid barrier, and although he could hold the barrier in which was wrapped around my hand, he could not move my hand or intertwine our fingers because the skin was strong and prevented him from truly touching me. Laurent gaped.

"Do you...are you....do you have some sort of force field? Or a shield that blocks physical contact?" Laurent questioned, his voice full of shock and perhaps a hint of awe.

It was my turn to gape. Could that be what this 'second skin' is; a force field? A shield? I lifted up my hand to examine it, and for the first time noticed the light pale color and smooth texture, and the way it glints from the sun. I was so absorbed in admiring my new skin, that I almost forgot that I was originally intending to look at my 'shield'.

It reminded me of the bubbles children play with when they're young; it's see through, clear, flexible, yet it doesn't break when I move. It's strong. Why do I have it, though? And why did it stop Laurent from holding my hand?

Well, I suppose he could have held it, but he would have been holding the shield rather than my hand, although I doubt he could even see the shied there.

I reached forwards towards Laurent, and although the clear layer on my skin was still there, it wasn't rock hard this time. At the contact, it simply clung to my skin and made a soft unnoticeable barrier between our two hands, yet this time it did not stop him from being able to move my hand, or if he wanted, interlacing our fingers together.

"Why does the shield let us touch this time?" I pondered aloud, and Laurent continued my thinking.

"Perhaps before when I surprised you, your shield went strong in defence because it didn't know if I would hurt you. Then, when you reached towards me, you were calm; and it knew that the touch was safe, so it relaxed and was not hard..."

"Do all vampires have shields?" I questioned, although if they did, then they could never die, right? Well, unless their shield was down when they were killed...

"No, this is a very rare talent. I am quite surprised with how advanced your abilities are already."

"My abilities? What do you mean? Aren't I just a physical shield?" I questioned, disbelieving there could be anymore than that. This was almost as good as Alice's or Edward's abilities.

"When I talked to the Cullens before the...the event with James, they mentioned that the mind reader couldn't read your mind. I presume that by becoming a vampire, you have only strengthened that ability, although I would like to test that theory out sometime on you."

"So, I am a physical shield, and what...a mental shield? I can block physical attacks and can stop people from knowing what I'm thinking?" Wow. If this is true, then maybe I really _was_ made for the vampire life.

"Yes, it would seem that way. Well, come on, I should tell Tanya, Katie, and Irina that I feel it is my time to depart. I believe they already could guess I was leaving what with my absence over the last few days, but they need to know for sure."

I followed Laurent, and was pleasantly surprised by how easy and graceful it was to move. It's like all my movements flow gracefully together, without fault or error. Goodbye clumsy Bella, welcome the _new_ me.

I waited a ways away from the house while Laurent talked to the other Denalis, so that they wouldn't sense I was there. When Laurent came back, he informed me we were going to go hunting.

"Come, the east of the forest has the most wild life." And with that, he ran far into the forest, and I followed behind. This time, I wasn't upon any vampire's back; I was holding my own.

My legs took me faster and faster, and although I was going faster than any speed my old truck could ever reach, I still could see every leaf on every tree, the detail on the grass, each rock I passed. It was like a sixth sense to know where to steer myself, there was no possible way to trip or run into something. No wonder why Edward always laughed when I warned him to pay attention while running or driving.

After five or so minutes of running, we were far away from the house, possibly not even in Juneau anymore. We stopped under a canopy of trees, and I could smell some elk in the distance, possibly fox or beaver too. There was also bear in the distance, could it be a black bear? Maybe a brown bear, or even a grizzly bear? I was too lost in searching the environment that I hadn't realized Laurent was talking to me.

"Bella? Okay, yes. I see you can already smell the animals. Close your eyes and really find their scent. Once you've found one to follow, let your senses take over and hunt it. That's the best advice I can give." And with that, he left and went his own way to hunt. I was nervous, but followed his instructions.

I decided that the black-tailed deer smelt the most attractive, so I dove after it. I didn't even need my eyes to run; I could sense where the trees were, and my hearing helped guide me. I followed the scent a few miles through the trees and over some rocks, before finally finding a herd of deer.

My sense took over and before I knew it, I was wrestling a deer to the ground. My razor sharp teeth graze it's neck, and in the next second the blood was pouring out, right into my throat.

It wasn't what I desired; it didn't quite match the taste my body had seemed to expect, but it helped ease the burning in my throat.

Before any other deer had the chance to move, I had paralyzed the entire herd with my venom and was working from deer to deer to empty them, tossing the carcasses on the ground. I was full before the whole herd was finished, but I emptied them anyways.

By then my stomach was feeling sloshy and overfilled. I was surprised that even after all of that, I still had a light tingling still in my throat; the burning never completely faded, it was only quenched for a short while.

I heard footsteps behind me, and whirled around to see Laurent. His eyes were brighter than before the hunt, a liquid topaz color. The kind that made me melt when I looked into Edward's eyes.

"Come on, Bella. It's time to go." He called to me, and I followed. We ran back to my truck, and drove it far into the forest behind his house, outside of the city's limits, far behind a large mountain cliff. No one would find it there. I grabbed my bag, and we were soon travelling back to Laurent's viper. I was still stunned by how much quicker it was to run than drive, and at how it took up absolutely no energy at all. I could run all day, all night, and never get tired.

Laurent opened my door for me, and I slid in. He then took the driver's side, backed up, and sped away from the house. I wondered why he hadn't packed a bag to bring, and he told me he didn't need anything. I didn't understand, but I didn't press further. I was too interested in where we were going.

"Laurent, where are we headed?" I asked him.

"I've always wanted to visit Italy." He replied, giving me a friendly smile. I returned it.

And thus, my immortal journey began.

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**Note: I do know that Bella's shield is actually only a mind shield, but I'm changing it up a bit. (I think this is more interesting, lol.)**

**Well, I hope you liked being able to see Bella's POV on the whole Laurent conversation thing, and I also hope that my writting on Bella becomming a vampire is as interesting, or almost as interesting, as how Stephenie Meyer wrote it in New Moon.**

**I will update soon, most likely tommorow! (I'm trying to write a chapter a day)**

**Please, please guys, review! It seriously makes my day. Pleaseeee? :) Just press the button below! =] If I don't get many reviews, I'm not as inclined to update (although I still will...) but please guys, review :) **


	10. Volterra

**So guys, I had an interesting revelation last night. I was thinking about this story (of course) and how during the books I always wondered what would happen if bella ran away and ____ happened. So then, I began writing the story, and I've been changing stuff around and thinking it over and over and changing everything...that I totally forgot my original story line!! So, I was pretty sad when I realized that. I thought about using both this and my original story line, but it wouldn't really work. This story line is probably more interesting, though. So, when I finish this story, remind me to tell you what I was originally on planning to write about! (whenever it is that I **_**do**_** finish this story, lol).**

**In other news: After yesterdays chapter, the amount of people getting story alerts to this story tripled (yay!), the amount of people favoriting my story tripled (yay!!), and the amount of reviews tripled!! That's right; I had 9 reviews for chapter 9 yesterday. I was pretty excited. So thank you to everyone for all your support, and to all those who reviewed; I'm pretty excited to get to writing this next chapter. **

***note: this story takes place after new moon, and 'crosses out' the end of new moon, and all of eclipse and breaking dawn (aka, they dont still come after my story). So any information that you really dont learn until later in the series, can appear anywhere in my story beacuse those books 'won't happen'/'don't happen. I hope that makes sense!****-----Thanks to Mikay Cullen for pointing out that Bella doesn't learn about vampire wars till Eclipse. **

**Happy Reading; Happy Christmas Eve + Merry Christmas!!**

**Previously: Bella finally became a vampire (yes!!), and Laurent and her on a road trip to Italy. What will happen next??**

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**CHAPTER TEN**

**Part 1: Jake's POV**

"Hey, is Charlie there?" A soft, delicate, bell-like voice called from the phone. Billy and I had been over visiting Charlie, comforting him, when the phone called.

"Sure, one sec." I told her, before passing the phone off to Charlie. In the back of my head, I wondered who it was, but all I could think of was Bella.

"Hello?" Charlie's weathered voice answered .

"Dad, hey dad! It's me, Bella! How's it going?" Charlie gaped. Bella? That was Bella on the phone? But, she didn't sound anything like Bella! Well, somewhat, but her voice was so much more bell-like, musical.

"Bella? Bella, is that really you? What's the matter with your voice" Charlie's excited and slightly confused voice called.

"Yeah dad, it's me. Uhh....my uh...my voice, uh, well my friend's been giving me singing lessons and I've been learning how to use my voice musically at all times. It's really great, I'm having lots of fun. How are you?" Charlie didn't seem to notice her hesitance in talking about the change in her voice. Could Charlie really be that oblivious? _Something_ is going on with her...

"Bella! Where are you? Where did you go? Are you sure you're okay? Are you safe? What have you been doing?" He listed off his questions.

"Hey dad, I'm on a road trip right now, catching up with an old friend from Phoenix. I really am fine; I think I'm finally starting to get over the whole thing with Cullen. My friend...Sarah...and I have just been catching up, you know, and she's been helping me talk through things. I'm happy to be with her."

"Isabella Swan, you _cannot_ just leave like that! You gave me a heart attack...and you're _mother_....we've been worried sick about you! And the police have been looking all over for you! Just what were you thinking?!" Charlie was beginning to get angry.

"I'm sorry dad, but you have to admit you wouldn't let me go if I told you. You can tell the police to stop looking for me now, though. I'm fine and perfectly safe."

"Bella, I can't know that until I see you. _Please_ Bella, come home." Charlie pleaded.

"Dad, I'm not coming home. I don't care what you say. I'm staying with Sarah, and there's nothing you can stay to stop me. You know I love you, Dad, but this is just something I have to do on my own and you're just going to have to let me."

"Bells, please, Bells, I'm begging you...come home. I'll do anything. You can live with me, or Renee, I'll even move to phoenix if you want to live with me and still live there. Jake misses you too, Bells. He's sorry for not being there for you when you needed him, he really wants you home and home safe." With that, I realized I had to talk to her. I had to hear her voice. I handed out my hand for the phone to Charlie.

"One minute," he mouthed to me. I understood; who knows when he may get to speak to his daughter again.

"Bella, please Bella, at least tell me where you are and how I can reach you."

"Dad, you know I can't tell you that. I have no permanent address, and no phone number, so I can't give you a way to contact me. Also, I can't tell you where I am. I don't want to be found dad, I've already told you that."

"Bella, please, won't you be reasonable about this?"

"No, dad. I've suffered long enough. I'm tired of being taken care of and sheltered. It's time for me to face the real world and learn how to hold my own. You've lived without me long enough, I'm sure you can get by without me. Renee has Phil, and she's been fine without me since I started living with you. You'll all be fine without me, I need my chance to break free and find what makes me happy; what completes my life. Please, dad, I really need you to support me in this."

"Bella, I can't agree to that. You need to finish school, get a job. Have a real life. Please Bella..."

"Dad, I made my decision. I have to go. I love you...."

"Bella, please, wait..."

"Sorry, Dad. I'll try to send you a letter sometime..."

"No, Bella.."

"Bye dad. Tell Renee I love her, and Jake too. See you dad...and don't worry, I'll be safe. I love you lots dad."

"I love you too Bella...but," and with that, the other line disconnected. My heart sank.

**Part 2: Bella's POV**

Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Laurent and I were speeding through the city to a plane runway near Juneau International Airport. I had suggested taking a boat to Italy so he could bring his car, but apparently that would take almost a week of boating (even if we got our own boat and drove at vampire speeds, it would still be almost that long), but we needed to hunt. Which, hunting isn't the easiest thing to do while you're cruising down the atlantic ocean. Even if we drove all the way to the east of the states, it would still be a long boat ride without food, and if there was ever any sun out people from a mile away would be able to see our skin glinting off the sunshine.

I suggested swimming, because conveniently vampires don't need to breathe, but Laurent said it's hard to steer in the exact right direction that way, and that he doesn't find sea creatures' blood the most appetizing.

"Laurent, if we go on an airplane, then won't I be tempted to drink the blood of the passengers?" The thought frightened me. I didn't want to be a killer, and I have yet to be around human blood...I don't know how tempting it will be for me; how hard it will be to resist.

"This is a...a private plane I have. It will suit our needs just fine." Laurent informed me.

"You have your own private plane?" I asked him, surprised. Since when does he have a private plane? Then again, I barely know anything about him. Who knows; maybe he's even richer than the Cullens.

"Well, it's actually a friend's, but he's letting me use it." He told me. I wonder who this friend is?

When we reached the airport, Laurent went to talk to the pilot (apparently, he only ones the plane; he doesn't fly it too). We were at a small airplane base with a few planes around; ranging from small, individual planes, and large personal jet planes. I saw a couple phone booths near the west entrance, and asked if I could make a quick phone call; he agreed. He told me to meet him at the main section of the runway station when I was finished.

At first I wasn't sure if I should call Charlie, because I knew if I talked for too long the police would be able to track the call and find me. Luckily, though, they wouldn't be fast enough to catch me before I leave. And, what kind of a human can catch a vampire, anyways?

"Hey, is Charlie there?" I asked when someone picked up the phone.

"Sure, one sec." A dull, depressed voice responded. It sounded like..._Jacob_?

"Hello?" Charlie answered, and I could tell he was tired and over worked. I was causing him a lot of stress. Regret swept over me, but I still knew this was the right thing to do; there's no turning back now.

"Dad, hey dad! It's me, Bella! How's it going?" I asked him, excitedly, trying to hide the sadness in my voice. I missed him, alot.

"Bella? Bella, is that really you? What's the matter with your voice" Charlie responded, still excited, but also confused.

Shoot. _This_ was something I _hadn't _thought of. If Edward was here, he would have reminded me that if I suddenly phoned my dad with my new chime-like voice, he would most likely think that something fishy was going on. _Shoot._ What do I say to that?

I made up some phony excuse about getting singing lessons from an old friend in Phoenix, and that it was changing my voice drastically, too. He seemed to buy it.

Next he berated me for leaving, and went through a whole interrogation worth of questions. Of course, I was expecting it. I _did _run away from home without leaving anything more behind me than a note (well, two actually, but I doubt he found the second).

I tried to answer everything as best as I could, but mostly all I did was avoid his questions and lie. What more could I do? It's not like I was about to tell him, "well, Edward and his family are actually all vampires, and after Edward left me, and then Jake too, I realized I really need closure. So I found this guy Laurent, who I know because his buddy James tried to kill me last march break in Phoenix—which is what really went down to get me in the hospital—but yeah, I asked Laurent to bite me and change me into a vampire. I knew there was a high chance of me dying, but that was a risk I took. Luckily, it worked and I'm a vampire now. We're heading to Italy, apparently Laurent has always wanted to go there, and I pretty much offered him my life as a slave or a mate or whatever he wished in exchange for him changing me. But don't worry, I'm safe. Vampires can't die, well, unless they're murdered, but I seem to have a physical shield/force field thing around me, so I should be okay. So yeah dad, that's about it on my end; nothing overly exciting, what about you?"

I wondered what he'd say if I said that. Either he'd think I'm crazy, or he'd pass out, or....or who knows what. Not that I'm allowed to tell him anyways. Laurent has already told me that the one and only rule in the vampire world is that you can't let humans know what you are. It's a pretty obvious rule, actually.

Charlie kept asking me the same questions, and begging me to come home. It hurt, but I had to refuse. _This_ is my life now. I finally was able to say goodbye, and hung up the phone, even though I knew he still wanted to talk.

I don't think I'll ever be able to phone him again; I don't think he'll keep believing the story that singing lessons changed my voice for long. Hopefully, he'll forget what my voice even sounded like when I called him by the time he has a chance to put any puzzle pieces together (like how my voice sounded so much like Esme's, Alice's, and Rosalie's).

--+--

Our plane was _huge_. One of those big jet planes you expect movie stars to travel in. When I saw it, I just stared at Laurent in shock. He explained to me that his friend helped build that type of plane back when they were first created, and that his friend has plenty laying around for his own use. I still couldn't believe we would be travelling in such a breathtaking, such a beautiful, such an _indescribably_ plane. I really had never dreamed such a beautiful plane existed, not that I ever researched planes before. Still, seeing that there was enough to make me realize that things were looking up. I may have been having a horrible life just a few days ago, but things are different now. This is _my_ time to shine; _my_ time to finally enjoy life again (and what a long life it shall be!).

It was supposed to be a twenty hour plane ride. But, luckily, we had a vampire driving our plane. Even so, for two vampires who never sleep, the time proved to be very long. Luckily, we had our conversation to keep us going.

"Where are we going once we get to Italy?" I asked Laurent. He paused, as if he had to carefully think over his answer. Maybe he had no idea where we were going to go once we got there. I didn't mind if that was the case, though.

"I'd like to visit the center of the country; Volterra. I've always wanted to see the clock tower, and the surrounding area. It's a very old fashioned place, the look of it hasn't changed much since it was first built. I think you'll really like it." Whatever was at Volterra, he seemed to be pretty excited to go there.

"Is it sunny there, or cloudy? And what are the animals like?" I really liked the deer I had when we hunted, although the fox smelled pretty good too. Of course, the burning in my throat still longed for a different type of blood...a type of blood I would _never_ let my body have.

"It can be sunny, but it isn't too bad. It's vampire population is a lot higher than most places, so there is a dark underground passage way for us to travel in. The animals I am unsure of, as I am only recently accustomed to this life. I do know they have wild goats, brown bears, red and roe deer, and the apennine wolf. There should be other animals around as well." Mmm, deer; that has to be my favourite so far. Edward said that it seems we are most like the animal we prefer; Emmett is like a grizzly bear, Edward like a mountain lion. Does this mean I'm like a deer? Soft and timid? I don't want to be like a deer. I'd rather be...a fox. Or something else that's tough, fast...

Wait; didn't Laurent say that there are a lot of vampires in this city? I thought that if there were lots of vampires in one place it would end up in vampire wars, like the ones Jasper was involved in. How can these vampires all live here peacefully? Or is it peaceful?

"Laurent, how can lots of vampires live in one city like that; wouldn't wars break out?" I questioned.

"The majority of these vampires live a very educated and civilized lifestyle. They are able to live together and work together peacefully. They protect their city, and are quite proud of it." Hmm, I'd like to meet these vampires; they sound nice. Laurent seems to think fondly of them too.

"But how can they be peaceful together? Are they golden eyes, like us?"

"No, they've never taken to our..._vegetarian _lifestyle, but even so, they are surprisingly very good at working together, even though they all desire human blood. I hope we can run into some of them so you can meet them." He turned to me, smiling. Does he anticipating meeting these vampires? I hope not...I don't think I'm ready to meet anyone yet. Then again, I need to get out of my shell and start _living_.

"Laurent..." I paused, and if I could still blush, I would have.

"Yes Bella?"

"Do...do you...is there any girls you have a special interest in?" _Shoot_. Why did I ask that? Of course he must. But then, why is he bothering to travel to me? I mean, sure he said he'd take up my offer in being a 'mate for life', but the way he agreed...it made it seem as if he had some sort of inside joke, as if my offer was humorous. Which, I admit, what I had to offer probably was humorous, and pathetic. Yet, he still accepted. _Why _did he accept, anyways? I guess it's one of those things I'll never really know.

"Well, there's a few, but I'm more of a nomad, you know. I've enjoyed living with the Denalis, they're very nice company. However, I was under the impression you offered to be my, what did you call it, '_mate for life_'?" Yeah. He definitely did find my offer humorous. Why did he accept, then?

"Uh, yeah, that's what I offered..." I stuttered; I must sound like a fool. What kind of a person offers that? But, _why_ did he accept?

"It's okay Bella, we can just be good friends, if you prefer." I had to smile. I liked this offer, and I could definitely handle a vampire friend.

"Sure, that sounds good to me, Laurent. It's really great to have you around. Really, thanks for everything." I looked at him, beaming. I don't remember the last time I beamed like that; it must be because everything is finally falling into place. Which reminds me...

I picked up my backpack from the floor in front of me, and I took out the radio Edward had given me for my last birthday. I had brought it hoping to use it to track his smell.

I put my nose towards the stereo, and the scent hit me strongly. There was only one scent that was really strong, and I realized it must be Emmett's scent; he installed it. But, having the scent of any Cullen would bring me closer to Edward.

Being lost in my thoughts, I hadn't realized Laurent was looking at me funny. I suppose most vampires don't go around smelling radios. I put the radio away in bag, before he could catch Emmett's scent on it.

"What's that?" he asked me. I thought about lying, but I know I'm still not the greatest at that. I couldn't tell him the truth, though, just in case he had a problem with me wanting to find the Cullens. I decided to go with the half truth.

"It's...it's a radio the Cullens gave me for my last birthday. It's the only thing I have from them...it helps me remember them." It was all true, although I had acted emotional about it, like I was very sensitive about the object. I knew that would help me pull off the lie better. And, as I presumed, Laurent believed me.

We continued talking back and forth; about our past, our families, our friends, our hopes, dreams, interests, futures. I began to felt really comfortable around him. I felt he was one person I could really trust.

--+--

Hours passed, and I knew it was night time, but it didn't matter; I wasn't tired. This was my first night where I _didn't_ need_, couldn't have_, any sleep.

My throat still burned slightly, but nothing unbearable. I still had plenty of human blood still in me to keep me going. I tossed in my seat a little, but I really didn't need to. I was plenty comfortable no matter which way I sat.

Laurent seemed plenty relaxed too; and although we didn't speak the whole time, the silence wasn't awkward, just comfortable.

"So, how did you meet James and Victoria?" I asked him.

"I had been wandering around in the forest, just coming and going as I pleased, when one day I saw them. Like me, they were avoiding the sun, planning to go out hunting at night. I quickly learned James was a strong man, and his small coven had been near unbeatable. If James wanted something, he got it. He was powerful, and talented. Anyways, they greeted me into their coven, and we travelled together from place to place. I enjoyed their company, but I felt no real bond to them. That's normal in the vampire world, though. I only really felt an actual connection to someone when your Cullens pointed out the Denalis to me. They've been very hospitable and kind." He seemed to be quite proud of them; he sounded like he looked up to them quite a bit. I didn't like how he said "_your Cullens_". Clearly, they aren't _my_ Cullens. They aren't _my_ anything anymore.

"What did you do before you met James and Victoria?" I asked him. He already told me what he could about his human life, and his early vampire years, but I wanted to know more.

"Well, I mostly wandered around as a nomad. I would go from coven to coven, but I never really found a place that stuck." That sounds like what I had originally planned when I wanted to become a vampire (after I had said my final goodbyes to Alice, Edward, and the rest of the Cullens). What would Laurent and I be doing?

"Laurent, what do you plan for us to do in Italy?" I asked him.

"I want to have a tour of one of their large, old fashioned buildings. It's near the clock tower, and goes underground. I think you'll like it." He smiled, happily, although there was a gleam in his eye that I couldn't quite understand. Was it greed? That's what it somehow reminded me of. But, I was probably just imagining things. Just like I imagined Edward had loved me..._really_ loved me...

--+--

Nearly 15 hours after we had boarded the jet, we were landing. I smiled at Laurent, and he smiled at me, as he grabbed my hand and escorted me off the plane. I gasped when I saw where we were; the city was breathtaking. I couldn't imagine a place more beautiful.

I slipped on my backpack, and followed Laurent through to a parking lot. Apparently, he had called a friend and had him rent a car for us. I felt honoured. We mounted a shiny red Tesla Roadster, and then sped off into the distance. I couldn't help but smile; it was surprising how quickly speed had grown on me. Just weeks ago, I hated going 80 mph, now even 180 was too slow.

Laurent and I continued talking, and it was fun just to be able to talk about our lives, without a care in the world, just enjoying life. Our laughter was so easygoing; it felt like being with Jake again...before he started avoiding me.

We drove into the heart of Volterra, and I saw the large clock tower Laurent had told me about. It really was the most amazing place I had ever been; it literally seemed to make time stand still.

"Come on, let's go look inside!" Laurent called to me, smiling the biggest smile I had seen yet; I couldn't help but smile back.

"Is it open for tours?" I asked, unsure that they would let just anybody into such a beautiful place. I was also nervous of there being humans around.

"Well, lets just say I have connections." He continued smiling warmly, dragging me along with him. I was glad that it was night time, and there were no humans around. Which reminded me...

"Laurent, won't there be humans in there?" I pondered, hoping so badly there wouldn't be, because I really wanted to see what was behind those walls.

"No. This is a place for people like us—vampires." He motioned to keep walking; I hadn't realized I'd stopped. I briefly wondered why this place was for vampires, but then I remembered Laurent telling me that his city had more vampires than in the normal city.

As we entered a building below the clock tower, I gazed at the details of the building, the fine craftsmanship. I was in awe. I'd never be able to travel like this if I were still human.

"So, am I going to get to meet these friends of yours that you have connections with?" I asked him, almost teasingly. We really seemed to get along well, to mesh. I enjoyed his company.

"Actually, here's one of them coming right now." He told me, smiling widely, and pointing to a figure in the distance. Even in the dim lightening, and with the distance, I could make out his features with my new, sharper eyes.

This man was tall and dark haired. He seemed well put together, with well fitting clothes and well groomed hair. I suppose when Laurent said these vampires were civilized and well educated, this is what me meant.

He came towards us, smiling just as widely as Laurent. I noticed his eyes were a darker crimson color, and although I was used to the golden topaz eyes, they didn't surprise me. James' had been a more shocking red.

"Laurent! It's so wonderful to see you! And this must be Bella!" He grasped Laurent into a side hug, before turning to me and shaking my hand. I expected this, and my shield had not blocked him out, luckily. No need to scare him.

"Yes, Eleazer, this is the girl." Laurent pointed his head to me, and then back to Laurent.

"Well, hello Bella! I've been greatly looking forwards to our meeting; I've heard so much about you!" I smiled at him politely, wondering when Laurent had a chance to tell this man about me.

"Hello, Eleazer, it's nice to meet you too." I replied, looking down at my feet, embarrassed. I didn't like being the center of attention.

"Please, Laurent, Bella, follow me down to my office. We need to have a nice little chat, I believe we have a lot to talk about..." Confused, I followed Laurent and Eleazer down the very long hallway, which seemed to only get longer with every step I took.

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**yay! another cliff hanger!! :) muah ha ha!**

**so, how was that guys? I hope you liked it! I wasn't sure if I should add more conversation with Laurent and Bella, or if what I did was good enough :/ I'd love to know your thoughts! **

**ps; who was expecting that?? :) haha**

**I'm going to try to update tommorow, but what with it being christmas tommorow and all...I wouldn't expect an update until boxing day, or possibly the day after. I'll really try to do it asap (Although apparently my family wasnt to spend some 'family time' with me....lol)**

**So, again, I'd _love_ feedback, which, if you have reviewed I do often reply. :) if you have any questions, you can review and ask and ill get back to you, or if you have any constructive criticism, pros/cons, things you liked/didnt like, things you want to see, different POVs you want to hear...what ever it is, just review. Even if you simply enjoyed this chapter (which i hope you did!) pleaseeee press the review button below!! :)**


	11. Scarlet, Sapphire, Mauve

****

**Hope you all had a good Christmas! **

**I didn't post any chapters yesterday; not many people seemed to get to reading the one I posted Christmas Eve Day.**

**But anyways, here's today's chapters; I know you've all been waiting for it!**

**And most of you were right in your assumptions when Laurent said he wanted to go to Italy.**

**Previously: Laurent changed Bella into a vampire, and then they escaped to travel the world together, starting in Volterra, Italy. Then Laurent introduced Bella to his friend Eleazer, who informed her that they had to talk about something....**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

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****Part 1: Bella's POV**

Something about this, this whole setting— Laurent's overt happiness and the way he was so excited to introduce me, it just didn't feel right. The way that man, Eleazer, looked at me, it didn't feel right either. I began to get a knot in my stomach, although I didn't know why. Laurent was a good man, and his friends must be good too. He wouldn't let anything happen to me; to us.

I tensed my body, and continued down what seemed to be a very, very long hallway. Then again, maybe it only seemed that way because I was not anticipating what was awaiting me at the end; whatever it was.

I entered the large, stone room at last, and Laurent and Eleazer were both staring at me with excited smiles plastered on their faces. I stared at them, confused, as Eleazer gestured for us to both take a seat.

"Well, Bella, I'm so happy to have you here! Laurent has been telling me so much about you over the last week. It seems that you are a very talented young vampire, am I correct?" He stared at me excitedly, grinning widely. I couldn't seem to find my voice to speak; words escaped me at that moment.

"Yes, Laurent, she is quite surprising!" Laurent encouraged eagerly. I was still confused by their words, and why this man was so interested in me.

"How about you run through your whole meeting with Bella up until now so I know there will be no confusion between the three of us." He smiled kindly, beckoning Laurent to tell his story.

"You remember when I phoned you after I caught her scent in the forest four days ago? Well, the Cullens had mentioned that her mind was unreachable, and the Denalis explained in more detail that their mind reader, Edward Cullen, could not penetrate her mind; it was as if it were blocked." He knows that Edward can't read my mind? And why did he phone this man, Eleazer, to tell him that? Didn't Laurent ask me if I was in the forest that night; it sounded as if he didn't know. Why would he lie about that?

"When I caught her scent in the forest and heard her calling Edward's name, I had no idea who it was. Then the name, and her scent, registered in my mind. I realized she was the Cullen Clan's family pet.

I didn't know what to think at first. I was confused as to why she was there, although I assumed her vampire coven must be nearby. Peculiarly enough, I never caught their scent. I thought about why she could be here over and over again, and I could think of no reason. Then I realized that the fact she was all alone was all that really mattered.

I planned to change her, and then see how strong her abilities would be. I did know that her coven, her boyfriend Edward specifically, was thoroughly opposed to her becoming a vampire. I knew if I changed her, I had to be positive they did not care whatsoever about her; I didn't want a fight breaking out." My insides were ripping apart. It was true; all true. I was the_ family pet_, and now Edward and his whole family do not care whatsoever about me. I know that, I know that. I've been trying to force myself to process this information through all the months he has been gone. It just hurts _so much_ to have others recognize this fact too. _Edward, why did you ever pretend to love me? Was it always lies? Why did you bother with me? How could you hurt me so badly?_

"Then, lucky me, she found where I lived and informed me that her whole vampire family left her and that she was all alone, wishing desperately to become a vampire.

I do admit though, Eleazer, that while she was convincing me to change her I seriously thought about the benefits there would be to keep her for myself and have her join my coven. Her abilities would certainly be helpful. I also thought about what else she was offering me: she was so desperate to become a vampire that she would give me anything, do absolutely anything for me. I must say, some of her offers were rather appealing." Yes, well he did accept my offer...didn't he? Or did he? _Why are we here, who is this man, and why are they talking about me as though I'm a horse for sale?_

"I was still very undecided on whether to keep her or not. I bit her in my indecisiveness; however I soon realized that I didn't need her to join my coven. We're just a small group of four; we don't need any talented vampires with us. I also have three beautiful vampires living there with me...." He _doesn't _want me in his coven?! Then why would he change me? If he really didn't care for my weak offers, then why would he still change me? Could he possibly just be overly kind? I don't think so. There's something eerie about this place, and something strange is going on with this man. He doesn't seem like a _friend_ of Laurent's...but what else could he be?

"At that point you already knew about her since I had contacted you the night after I saw her in the forest. I informed my clan: Tanya, Katie, and Irina about her, and they were very supportive of bringing her to you; we are very patriotic to the whole guard, and appreciate all you do." Who is this guard he is talking about? And Laurent had told me that his clan had no idea about me and were not to know. Why would he bother lying about that? And most importantly, _why_ did Laurent call this man about me?

I continued to listen intently, and for some reason that I didn't know, a reason that had nothing to do with the cold, a chill ran down my spine.

"Once the transformation was complete, I continued to play along and act as though I was happy taking what she offered me; happy to get out on our own to explore the world, and really enjoy life. I couldn't have there being a possibility of her running away from me, what with her newborn strength and untamed abilities, if she knew my plans." What is he hiding? Why would it make me run away. _Why am I here?_

_Edward, Edward please. Please, come back to me. Save me one last time. I'm sorry for doing this; I should not have become a vampire against your will. I'm sorry, so sorry Edward. Please, please just take me out of here. Tell me it's going to be okay. I can't stand not being with you. I can't stand anything without you._

"On our trip here, I thought I had given myself away when she asked me why I wasn't bringing anything, but then she easily overlooked it when I said I didn't need anything. The real reason being, I was going to be going home soon enough." He's leaving soon? And I should have pressed him on why he wasn't bringing bags for himself! I wanted to be polite, not rude. _What is he doing with me here??!_

"She wanted to take a boat, or swim, but I knew both ways would take too long, and I had to get to Volterra fast." Why did he have to get to Volterra so fast for? What does he want to do here?

"Well anyways, Bella, this is Eleazer, here. He offers large rewards for those who find humans who have advanced abilities. As soon as I realized it was you in the forest, and once I decided that your offer was compelling, but not compelling_ enough_, I decided that I would give Eleazer a call." He said, talking directly to me this time. What is he talking about rewards, advanced abilities, and this man Eleazer? Nothing makes sense.

I paused then, to look at Eleazer more carefully, wondering what it was about him that made Laurent want to change me. Why he was acting as though he was betraying me right now; not that he seemed upset by the fact.

"Bella, your abilities are very advanced and unique for a vampire. Eleazer here is a "recruiter" for the Volturi, which is the vampire Government. I have called Eleazer a few times to inform him about you, and after learning about your shield, he was more than eager to come meet with us. He even supplied his jet and cars for us to use. Which, thank you very much for that Eleazer." Laurent smiled warmly at Eleazer, although it seemed fake; as though he really could care less about Laurent, but was more interested in this _reward._

I looked at Eleazer then, carefully. I was shocked about the knowledge I had just heard; although I really don't know how I could actually believe that Laurent was interested in what I had to offer.

As I looked closely at Eleazer, I realized he had a have a dark blue glow outlining his figure. My shield seemed to edge towards it, as though it wanted to ensnare the bluish glow. I let my 'force field' pull out and wrap around him. Although the shield was still around me, it was like an outer edge of the skin pulled out around him. My shield appeared to look like a net reaching towards Eleazer, and I saw that as it separated from my own shield it turned a reddish color.

As soon as my shield wrapped around Eleazer, new knowledge suddenly came into my head.

"You can sense what abilities different people have?" I asked him. It seemed that, as soon as my shield wrapped around him, I just knew that that's what he does.

"Why..._yes_, that is what I do...how...how do you know that?" He questioned. And, to tell you the truth, I had no idea.

I sat there, silent, and couldn't hold Eleazer's stare. I didn't have an answer as to how I knew what he does. Should I tell him my shield stretched out and enwrapped his blue glow, which caused my scarlet 'net' to mix with his sapphire 'haze'. As the translucent cloud turned mauve, I suddenly knew what his ability was. As if he would understand that. So, I simply said nothing.

"Bella..." He prompted.

"Sir, I don't understand exactly how I knew. This is all very confusing to me. It seemed my abilities seemed to tell me what you do." I informed him, hoping not to go into specifics. No such luck.

"Can you please explain that further; what exactly, or how exactly, did you ability tell you that? I thought you were a shield?"

I didn't want to explain, but it seemed I had to. "It was my shield. It's like a second skin around me, and apparently Laurent has already told you that we assume it can block mental abilities, as well as protect my body from physical attacks. Well, as I focused more closely upon what you look like, I noticed there was a bluish haze surrounding your figure, as though it was a glowing outline. I didn't understand what it was, but assumed that it must either just be you, or I didn't realize that vampires had that before.

That's when my shield started pulling towards it. It was as if it wanted to get closer to you, to enwrap the blue glow within its skin. I know it doesn't make much sense, sir, but that's what happened.

Then I...I let my shield go towards you. It was as though an outer layer of my shield reached out towards you in a mist-like net form. As it separated from my transparent shield, it turned a scarlet color. While it enwrapped your blue mist, it turned a purple color. It was at that moment that I knew what your ability was."

I stuttered a few times, knowing how farfetched my story sounded. They must think I'm crazy. People don't just have _mists _around them, and people don't have shields that stick to you like skin and also want to eagerly enwrap people in it's layer. Maybe they'll label me crazy and burn me here.

Maybe it wouldn't matter if they do. Edward doesn't love me anyways, and he's the only important thing left in my existence.

Before I could think any further, Eleazer broke my thoughts. They had been staring at me stunned, with their mouths ajar in their aghast state. I help my breath, as my human instincts were still very clear to me. I sat stiff, staring at them both, waiting for them to rebuke me and tell me I was crazy.

I was completely wrong in my thinking.

"You....your...your _shield_ did that? Does this? I mean it....it...it can sense other's abilities? Or, what exactly does it do? What do you sense when your shield engulfs Laurent's blue mist?" Eleazer asked me, still stunned, stuttering. It was very rare that I saw vampires shocked, or stuttering, for that matter.

"I...I...yes, it did this, I mean, that's what I think. And Laurent doesn't have a blue mist." I told them both, wondering where this was going.

"What do you mean Laurent doesn't have a blue mist?" Eleazer asked me, confused. He seemed to have recovered from his shocked state.

"He just doesn't." I said, quickly looking down. _Should _Laurent have a blue must, too? Do all vampires see this blue mists, and does the fact that I don't see Laurent's mean there's something wrong with me?

"Oh, my, well this is certainly interesting..." Eleazer continued, speculating.

"Does he have a blue mist to you?" I questioned him, hoping it was also a no, too.

"Well, not exactly a blue mist. It's as though my brain pulls brainwaves from him, telling me what his ability is. This is the same for him as for everyone I meet, even humans. Except you." He continued, staring at me speculatively. I really _did _have something wrong in my head.

"Why, do you think, does the blue mist only envelop you, and not Laurent?" I questioned, hoping he would have the answer.

"I don't know. Do other vampires have this blue mist, or only myself?"

"You and Laurent are the only vampires I've seen since becoming a vampire." I informed him.

"Our pilot was a vampire." Laurent informed me, finally bringing himself back into the conversation.

"Oh. Well, he didn't have a blue mist either." I told them both.

"Hmm. Well, that leaves many possibilities...." Laurent started, then broke off into his own thoughts.

"What are these possibilities?" I queried.

"Well, you could only see a blue mist on me because I can sense other's abilities, and perhaps you only see a blue mist around people with that certain ability. However, this is very unlikely, because I do not know of any others with the same ability as me.

It could be that because I was trying to learn your ability, I was trying to penetrate your mind shield, which caused the blue mist to appear. Thus, your shield broke off in red to defend yourself, blending your shield with my power, cancelling mine out.

The second possibility seems much more likely, although I don't understand why your shield would have the need to enwrap me when it already seems to be holding up a sturdy physical and mental shield around you.

Well, I'm sure we'll find out soon enough once you interview with the Volturi exactly what it is you do." Eleazer finished his speculations, still smiling.

_There's that word again_, I thought. What does this "vampire government" do? I remember something Edward had told me the day of my last birthday, the worst birthday of my life, while we were watching Romeo and Juliet. He said that he couldn't live without me, and if something ever happened to me, he would go the Volturi to die. Not that he loves me anymore anyways. But why would the Volturi

I remember what I thought of the Volturi that day. They sounded _scary. _And now I'm _going_ to these people? To the _Volturi_? And this man, Eleazer, part of the Volturi himself, wants me to come _interview_ for them. Why? What am I being interviewed for? I decided to ask.

"What are the Volturi interviewing me for?" I asked, rather quietly. I didn't know much about them, if they were good or bad, friendly or scary, or what they wanted with me; but they still put imaginary goose bumps on my cold, granite arms.

"The Volturi's guard is full of talented vampires with special abilities. When we think we have found someone with an especially interesting talent, we take them to the Volturi to train their ability, and within a week they decide whether or not the person has the ability needed to help the Volturi lead the vampires. We are actually just about to go meet them now. Laurent, you are free to go. We have a small reward bag waiting for you, you will be handed it on your way out; and if we do decide to recruit Bella, we will be sending you a much larger sum." Eleazer smiled at Laurent, seeming eager for him to go. Laurent smiled back, just as eager to leave.

What a stupid, two-timing, back stabbing vampire. I should never have trusted him; I should never trust anyone.

But then again, what does it matter if he did sell me out? I did offer him literally _anything_ if he only just changed me. And he did. I should really be grateful.

Once I get my answers and give the Cullens their final goodbye, I'll have nowhere to go anyways. I may as well go to this Volturi; hopefully I _will_ be good enough. I know I was never good enough for Edward, but just imagine what he'll think if I'm good enough to be chosen to join the _Vampire Government._

Luck really is on my side this time...so long as they let me take a break sometime to track down the Cullens.

Eleazer took my hand and helped me off the chair, then escorted me down the long hallway, to the people who would determine how I would spend my eternity.

* * *

**Happy Boxing Day! :)**

**I hope you liked this chapter; I'll be posting more asap, as per usual. However, the more comments I get the more inclined I am to update faster and write longer chapters.....**

**Besides, reviewing makes me happy...don't you want to make me happy?? Haha. Love you all. And, please review. If you want me to reply, tell me, and I will. Ask any questions you have, and if they dont give away any of the future story line, I'll tell you. Any input: good, bad, pros, cons, etc...just tell me. I'd love to know! So yeah, that's about it. Just press the review button below!! =]**


	12. Triple Threat

**Yay! Another chapter! **

**My shoulders hurt... haha. This is my longest chapter yet. Consider it making up for not writing on Christmas; this is like your belated Christmas present.**

**So yeah, enjoy.**

**Previously: Laurent took Bella to Eleazer of the Volturi, selling her out to them for a reward. Now Eleazer will decide if she has the abilities needed to join the Volturian Guard.**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

We hadn't been walking for long, but the suspense made it feel like hours rather than minutes. We followed the dim, cobblestone hallways through to a corridor, which then led to more hallways. I remember going down through a hole in the floor, following darker hallways, more corridors, and more climbing down. Laurent was certainly right when he said they had passage ways all under the city.

Eleazer talked to me some, but not too much. This was business for him; he wasn't just escorting a guest to meet the rest of the party. I knew I should be scared, I _tried_ to be scared, but the only emotion I could feel was pain. Pain that Laurent lied to me, pain that Jacob didn't want me, and pain that Edward left me—the worst pain of all.

All the pain was ripping me to pieces. _Edward, please. Did you ever love me? Really? Why did you hurt me? Why did you lead me on? How could you hurt me so bad? Edward, I loved you. I trusted you. How could you do this to me? Edward, I still love you. I will always love you. Forever. Why did you have to curse my existence; sentencing me to pain for all of my life. It's all your fault, Edward. How could you let me fall in love with you? _

_...It's all my fault. How could I fall in love with you? No matter what, we are not equals. You're too good for me. I'll never be good enough for you. Never. How could I be so blinded as to not see how impossible it would be for us to be together? Why did I have to love you, Edward, why? Why can't I just stop loving you?_

I was happy vampires can't cry. I was tired of crying. I had spent hours on end, days even....weeks and months....all spent crying, and crying, and crying. All for one man. One man who had so quickly come into my life and turned my whole world upside down. One man who showed me what love was all about. Who kissed me, and protected me, and helped me sleep at night. One man who had slowly came into my life and took over. I gave everything to him; everything in my life I dropped for _him_, and now he's gone. How could I be so stupid?

The hallways continued on and on, and they felt impossibly longer while I was lost in my thoughts. As the scents of other vampires began to fill the space, my mind drifted from it's current train of thought to the Volturi.

They wanted me. If they liked my abilities, if I proved myself worthy and to be a valuable addition to their team, they would accept me. They would ask me to join them. I would finally belong somewhere. If they rejected me....

Well, then I could just continue on and track the Cullens. And once they reject me again...I guess then I'll just have to wander alone. A nomad. It's better than living not knowing the answers to all my questions, not getting to say my final goodbyes.

The hallway finally ended in front of a large granite door. It had large brass door handles on each side, shaded similarly to the door knockers. Eleazer pulled open the door and motioned for me to go first.

I was shocked when I saw what awaited me. The room was larger than the Fork High School's gymnasium, and was also very cool. It, like the rest of the building, was dark, although it was a bit better lit than the hallways. This, however, was not what shocked me— it was the thirteen pairs of scarlet eyes awaiting me.

I looked over all the vampires in the room. Ten of them had blue haze surrounding their bodies. Why didn't the other three?

Four of the vampires were female, the rest were male. Two looked very young, around twelve years of age. I studied all their face closely, noting all their details to memory. I noticed three of them stood apart from the rest. They all had pale skin that was almost translucent; it looked like onion skin. Two had very long, jet black hair, and the third had white, shoulder length hair.

One of the black haired men stepped forwards towards me, an excited smiling lighting his face. "Hello Bella, I'm Aro, it's so very nice to meet you." He greeted.

"It's nice to meet you too, Aro." I responding, as polite as I could. I wanted to make a good impression. Aro walked closer towards me and closed the gap between us with his hand, waiting expectantly for me to shake it.

I reached out and shook it, although he did not let go. His excited smile slowly faded into a very confused line, which changed to a frustrated grimace, and then back up to an amused smile, and finally back to his excited self.

As he did this, I could feel my shield again etching towards his blue haze. I tried to keep it from going towards him, as I wanted to at least get our introductions out of the way first.

"Well, Eleazer wasn't kidding when he told us about your gift. I can't penetrate your shield at all." He told all of us, while still holding my hand. I looked at him, confused. I let my red mist crawl back towards Eleazer. I then had the information in my head of what he could do; that he can sense peoples abilities. I let my net wrap tighter around the mist, engulfing it completely. Then I was suddenly able to use Eleazer's ability, and it was as if Aro's brain sent me the information of what he could do; Aro can read people's minds through touch.

I looked back at Aro, curious. I brought back all my crimson mist from Eleazer, and let it go towards Aro. As it did for Eleazer, it encircled his body, shrouding the blue haze. As it did so, I was once again filled with the information that Aro can read, or rather search through someone's minds, through touch.

I let my shield completely envelop Aro's mist, and as the haze turned mauve I was suddenly reading Aro's thoughts. He is one of the leader's of the Volturi, as I suspected. The other two men next to him are called Caius and Marcus, and they are part of the Trio which lead the Volturi. He's very ambitious and strives for power. He finds the humour and positive side of things a lot more than other members of the guard, which is the other members in the room. His happiness and excitement often get on the other's nerves, but they are family, nonetheless. What's that? Wow, I think I just stumbled across one of those 'deep dark secrets'.... I guess this is why Edward always felt like he was invading others privacy by reading their minds.

I rummaged through his brain, looking for anything of interest. I then found his thoughts on me. I gasped, as I saw my image reflected through his thoughts. Since the transformation, I had not once looked in a mirror. I was stunned. My skin was pale, and my eyes were bright crimson. My body had small but defined muscles it didn't have before. My skin was perfectly smooth and clear, flawless, as the rest of my body. My long brunette hair cascaded around my body, and for once, I didn't think I was unattractive. For once, my feelings reflected that of Aro's— I actually look rather pretty.

Aro thinks that I may be able to use my shield to block multiple people, besides just myself. He hopes to learn if that is possible this week. If it is, he is going to convince me, or _force_ me, rather, to join. I don't mind, though. I want to join this...this _family_.

"You want to test and see if my shield can protect others besides just myself?" I questioned, rephrasing his thoughts aloud. He stared at me.

"C..can you do that?" He questioned, with a slight stutter. Perhaps he thought I could already do it, since I knew about shielding others.

"No, I don't know how to. I haven't even thought of it before now." I informed him, wanting to make sure he knew that I wasn't too experienced. No need to get their expectations higher than they should be.

"What made you think of it right now?" He questioned.

"Well, the possibility was in your thoughts, so that's why." I told him, realizing too late that that would mean I would have to explain my shield all over again, and all the crazy things I _think_ it does.

"You can read my thoughts?" He asked me, stunned.

"Well, I think so. It's kind of complicated..." I started. I wonder if I could read anyone else's thoughts while the mist is still purple? I was able to use Eleazer's gift on Aro...

"Would you try to explain?" He asked me politely.

"I told Eleazer my speculations on my shield; I think he'd give the best explanation, which would be simpler since you can easily read his thoughts." I really did not want to explain it again. My explanation barely makes any sense to me, what would _they_ think? At least Eleazer seemed to understand it.

Aro walked over to Eleazer, and I followed. As Aro put his hand over Eleazer's shoulder, I stood close enough so my shoulder would be touching his. With the purple mist still in place, I began to hear the thoughts Aro was taking from Eleazer.

I saw Aro watch my explanation of my shield. Aro watched, interested. He had a theory that, perhaps, my shield could "reflect" other's abilities. Thus, if someone had a special ability they would glow blue. If I put my shield around it, I would know what the ability is. If I completely engulf the blue haze with my red cloud, the purple mist would signify that I am using their power. Excited, Aro was barely able to keep reading Eleazer's thoughts. He wanted to talk to me; he wanted me to try using other's abilities as well.

Wow, he was _really_ excited. And from the looks of his thoughts...there's no doubt in his mind that he wants me to join!

Now it was _my_ turn to be really excited. My face lit up and I couldn't keep the huge grin off my face. I hadn't smiled like this in so long. My eyes were sparkling. _Finally, a place where I belong. A real family. I can help the vampire world, I will serve them well. I will learn to use my abilities to their full potential, and will help out as much as absolutely possible. They will never regret asking me to come on board._

Aro noticed my face light up, and he looked at me questionably. Again, he probably thought I was crazy. Not that I could care. Nothing can bring me down at this point.

Aro took his arms away from Eleazer, and turned towards me. "What are you so happy about, Miss Swan?" He asked, a slow smile creeping across his face.

If I could have blushed, I would have. Instead, I looked down at my feet. "I...uh...it was just...it looks like you want me to join your group." I told him, barely above a whisper.

Aro laughed, and pulled my face back up to his. "Did you read that in my thoughts?" He questioned, smiling.

"Yeah." Was all I could think to say.

"And you like that idea?" He questioned. I bet _he_ really wishes he could read my thoughts.

"Yes, sir, very much." I told him, trying to be as polite as possible. I don't want him knowing just exactly _how_ excited I am to join.

Aro laughed. "Please, don't call me 'sir'; it makes me feel old. Even though I am over a thousand years old...." He gave a quick chuckle, then continued talking.

"So, you are interested in joining us; on becoming one of our guard?" He asked me, and I could easily hear the hopefulness in his voice.

"Yes; I would love to join." I told him, and his face lit up like a child on Christmas morning.

"Eleazer, can you send Laurent the rest of his reward, please?" Aro requested of Eleazer, although it was more of an order than a request. He was polite about it though. I think I'm going to enjoy working with these people.

That was what I thought, at least, until I saw the little girl glaring at me.

**Part 2: Jake's POV**

I stood there, still staring at the phone. Something was different about Bella; something was off. I went over and over Bella's hidden note in my head,

_"Dear Jessica, I can't handle life without him. It's too hard. Nothing matters anymore. I know I can't change his mind, but I feel that I have to see him again. One last goodbye. I can't stay here in Forks any longer. I know I'm not good enough for him, I know he doesn't want to see me again, but I'll try to just see him from a distance. Hopefully, I'll see you again, too. I love you all so, so much, and always will. I'm sorry that I can't just stop loving you all; believe me, I've tried. I know I'm not welcome anymore, so I'll try very hard to not bother any of you in the slightest way._

_All my eternal, never ending, unbreakable love, Bella."_

Realization hit me like a pile of bricks. I ran out of that room, away from that house, far into the forest. I ran and ran, phasing when I was completely out of view. I didn't care if that was my last pair of shoes. I couldn't contain my anger.

The note _wasn't_ for Jessica. Jessica was a cover. The note was for...for the _bloodsuckers_. She wants to change _his_ mind. The filthy, bloodsucking _leech_. She left us, hoping to find him. She'd do anything for that _parasite_!

It's all my fault. I should never have left her. She must have formulated this plan during the two weeks we were apart...why did I listen to Sam?! Now she's gone. She's gone looking for him. She'll get slaughtered!

That's when the next puzzle piece fit into place, and another, bigger jolt of anger shot through my body. She wanted to _become_ one of them. She signed the note herself, "all my _eternal_, never ending, unbreakable love,". She left, _hoping_ to find a way to become one of them. She wanted to track them down, find a reason for why they left her, gain some closure. She was willing to give up her _life_ to do this!

How? How could I let this happen? I knew she broken, I knew she was hurting. I still left her. I hurt her even worse, and now she's gone, soon to be dead.

Finally, everything made sense. The puzzle was complete. I fell to the floor, shaking.

I heard her bell voice. I witnessed it myself. She found a way to be changed. Now she's dead; one of _them_ forever.

I curled up on the forest floor, and let the agony wash over me.

_Goodbye Bella. Sorry I couldn't save you..._

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

Aro looked around at the guard, then back to me. "Would you mind trying to use abilities from other members of the Volturi?" he asked me.

I looked amongst the crowd, and my eyes rested upon the small girl staring at me. She was slight, with short, pale brown hair. At first I wasn't sure if she was female or male, due to her slim and androgynous figure. Then I saw her face, which was angelic. She looked like a small, perfect angel. I couldn't help but gasp. She had wide eyes, full lips, and, as the rest of them, scarlet eyes. Her features, along with her body shape, were child like. She had to have been in her early teen years when she was changed.

She saw me looking at her, and her glare intensified. "Here, Aro, let _me_ try my ability on her." She said, sweetly, but bitterly at the same time. I was shocked by how childlike her voice sounded. If it wasn't for her glare and obvious animosity, I would have mistaken her for an angel, I am sure.

"Okay, Jane. Do your worst." Aro said, smiling really, truly looked like _family_.

Jane immediately perked up, her smile turning viciously wicked. As she did so, I became aware of a sudden fluttering pressure against the outside of my shield. I didn't know where it was coming from, and then I realized it was Jane. Although the pressure did no damage, it annoyed me. First she glares at me, then smiles at me wickedly, now she's trying to do something with my shield. I angrily shot my red haze towards her, quickly making her sapphire cloud turn amethyst. With that, I knew what she could do—she can give someone the illusion of pain. Well, let's give her a taste of her own medicine...

I glared back at Jane, and willed her ability to work through me. Suddenly, she was on the floor, crumpled in agony. She was screeching loudly, shaking and trembling. She continued to scream and whine as her body crumpled in unnatural ways.

I stood there, too shocked to do anything. Then suddenly, I realized she was there because of _me_. It was _me_ causing her this pain.

I rushed towards her, stopping the pain instantly. I dropped onto my knees and rubbed her back in soft, soothing motions, trying to comfort her. I didn't want to be the cause of anyone's pain.

Jane jumped up then and hissed at me, bending into a crouch. "Get your filthy hands off of me." She growled.

I stepped back instantly, hurt by her words. The rest of the Volturi just stared at us in shock.

"Y...you did this?" the white haired leader, Cauis, asked me; speaking to me for the first time. I didn't know what to say. How much trouble would I be in if I admitted that I was the reason a prized member of their guard was just writhing on the ground in agony? I knew it was no use to lie, though. The girl already knew it was me.

"Y...yes.." I replied, hesitantly. Aro's and Cauis' faces turned into mirrored images of excitement. Clearly, I was not in trouble.

"It looks like we have quite the talented vampire in our hands." Cauis commented. I looked at them sheepishly, hoping I really could be of use.

"How did that feel, Jane?" Aro asked the small girl teasingly. She just growled back.

"Tut-tut, no need to get all bent out of shape over it." Aro commented, and realizing his pun, he let out a small chuckle.

"Well, we really should be showing you to your personal living space. Felix, would you do the honours?" Aro asked of the bulky man with olive skin and chalky pallor. His hair was red, short and cropped. The size of his body made me think of Emmett, which of course sent a burst of pain through me. I think Aro may have noticed my brief wince, but he made no comment on it.

Felix then led me to my personal space. I suppose they couldn't call it a bedroom, when they don't sleep.

"Please, make yourself at home. This will be your room from now on. We will be meeting again in a few hours, please take the time to get comfortable." With that, he left me in front of a small, rounded, wooden door. I turned the handle, and walked hesitantly inside.

--+--

I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling; thinking. The room was without a doubt absolutely beautiful; fairytale like. There was a small stone hearth at the rear of the room, accompanied by fire tools to keep it alit. It had a brass metal piece to keep the flames inside, as well as a small cement platform beneath it. I had sat there for awhile, staring into the flames.

The walls were a mixture of worn wooden planks and cobblestone, but it was surprisingly warm and cozy. My room was the size of Charlie's living room and kitchen area combined—it was _huge_.

Away from the fire pit were two wooden chairs, with metal detailing. The seats were comfortable, made of a rouge fabric with dark green, sapphire, emerald, and topaz colors mixed into it. There was also sparkly thread sewn all through it intricately, making interesting designs. I had never seen fabric more beautiful.

Between the two chairs was a small wooden side table. It had a circular wooden platform on the top for resting items on, where currently a metal oil lantern sat. Beneath that platform was another, with wooden planks holding the wood above it up. Below that was two round drawers, and then the four table legs.

The fire area took about a third of the room, and to the left of the fireplace, on the same wall as the door, was a long, skinny dresser. It too was wooden, and looked like a decorative table more than anything. I suppose this is for putting personal items in; not that I have enough to even attempt to fill it.

I pulled the ripped, broken, torn apart radio out of my bag. I put it in the bottom drawer, after first kissing it and re-familiarizing myself with Emmett's smell.

Above that dresser was a large mirror, tall and wide. It took up about a third of the wall space. If I stood back, I could see my entire body from head to toe with it.

The edges of the mirror were decorated in an intense and delicate metal design. As the rest of the pieces in the room, I stared at it in awe.

On the opposite of the room, in the middle of the wall, was a tall, mahogany bookshelf. I noticed happily that there were already a few books placed there. Some were from centuries ago, and others more recent. I brushed my finger along the book's dusty spines, smiling happily at them. This room made me feel peaceful, at ease. I was content. There were no sad memories of Edward here, or Alice, or Jasper...or any other of the Cullens. Finally I had at least a little freedom from the pain.

At the far end of the wall with the bookshelf was the large couch I had been sitting on. It was very comfortable, and made up for the lack of a bed. It reminded me of the couch beds that were popular when I was in elementary school. The seat cushion was of the same fabric as the chairs by the fireplace, and the back of the couch was a wrought iron masterpiece. Although it wasn't the most comfortable to lean on, it was very nice to look at.

I let out a laugh when I saw what awaited me next to the couch bed; on the end wall nearest the room's door was a walk in closest. If Alice was here, this would be the most exciting to her. I opened the door slowly, and gasped when I saw there was already clothes in there, as well as a note.

I read the note slowly, carefully, "Bella, we had two rooms available for you. One was a temporary room, for if we were unsure whether we wanted you to join. This one, however, is your permanent room. We hope it is up to standards. In this closest you will find more natural clothes to wear. The black cloaks are for when we got out, or other serious business. The coloured cloaks are for staying around here. Please feel free to wear them." It was signed by each member of the Volturi, which made me smile.

Inside of the closest were plenty of cloaks, like the ones the vampires I had just seen were wearing. I didn't like the idea of wearing a robe, but I wanted to fit in.

Most of the cloaks were midnight black or dark gray. There was, however, some brighter colors. Some of the other cloaks were scarlet, olive, azure, mauve, ginger, auburn, coffee, and cherry. The list goes on, though. I remember the little girl, Jane, had been wearing an emerald cloak when I had seen her. Aro's had been a midnight blue, and Cauis' a deep crimson. Felix's was simply just a dark shade of black.

My favourite colors have come to be midnight blue and topaz, so I was happy to see those cloak colors there. I brushed my hand slowly over the velvet texture, although other cloaks were silky, cotton, gossamer, linen, nylon...there was quite a wide variety.

The floor was a cold, rough cement, and the cool closest was lit by a more modern light, although it was still accented with wrought iron metal patterns.

Under each of the clothes railings was a dresser. There were three long, wooden dressers in total; there was no dresser on the wall with the door, but rather full length mirrors surrounding each side.

Inside the dressers were black pants, shirts, socks, undergarments...it was a very gothic wardrobe. If I had worn these clothes back to school in Forks, they would've called me "_emo_".

I pulled on a pair of loose black pants, accompanied by a black shirt. I slipped into some black running shoes. At least some of the clothes was slightly modern.

As I stepped out of the closest, I walked towards the large circular desk in the middle of the room, separating the 'bedroom' area from the living room area.

The dark, wooden desk was placed over the large red, orange, and brown area rug, which stretched over most of the floor in the room.

The outside circle was coffee, the second circle crimson, and the middle circle auburn. I _loved_ it. The desk atop of it was to the left of the bookshelf, in the center of the room.

It was a large desk, bigger than the average family dining table. There was drawers attached to the middle leg of the desk, which beheld office supplies and electrical cords. Atop the desk, was a small display of pens and other writing utensils, as well as a black Tulip E-Go diamond laptop.

I gasped. The laptop was a shiny black color, smooth and polished. It was decorated with thousands of brilliant cut diamonds, as well a square cut ruby in each of the logos on it. I had never in my life seen such an expensive looking laptop. I guess this comes with centuries of being in power.

On the inside of the circular laptop was another note, written in fancy calligraphy as the last note. "Dearest Bella, although we may appear very old fashioned, we also have a hold on modern technologies. We use this to keep a hold of one another. We each have one of these and are networked together. You may use this to keep in touch without having to leave your room. Some members of their guard enjoy their privacy, although we always need to keep in touch. Please keep it on at all times in case of emergencies. Enjoy, Aro."

_This_ is how they keep in touch?! I gasped, and turned the flashy computer on. It booted up smoothly, and quickly. Once it was on, I noticed that it was already set up with all components installed. There was a program opened on the side of the screen, and I clicked on it. It was a chat box, with each of the names of the Volturi members listed on it for me to talk to.

As it signed me on, someone began to talk to me. Jane.

"Well, if it isn't the little runaway herself. How are you, _Isabella_?" she typed. I stared at the screen, unable to reply. I decided not to.

I pressed the start menu and decided to go on the internet to message Charlie. Then I realized I didn't have a network connection. Do vampires not use internet?

I lay back on my bed, thinking over everything. Edward, Jake, Laurent... Edward... Jake.. Edward... _Edward_... I turned over on the couch and began to think some more. Aro, Cauis, Eleazer, Jane..._Jane..._

Then I decided I really should reply to her message. I should at least try to change her opinions on me.

"I'm doing fine, Jane, thank you. How are you?" I typed.

"Better, now that you're in your room. You really should just stay there; I'd rather not see your ugly self." I felt like I was slapped across the face. What did I ever do to make her hate me so bad?

"What do you have against me?"

"Everything." I rolled my eyes and went back to my bed. I had no come back for that, and I didn't want to try. Her words couldn't hurt me; no words can cause me pain, because nothing compares to the words that have hurt me the most. The words that overshadow everything.

Edward, the man I loved, telling me I was no good for him. That he didn't love me anymore. That he was going away, and that it was going to be as if he never existed. No words can ever compare to all the pain packed into those few sentences Edward told me in the forest.

I lay my head on the couch, and dry sobbed. For me, for Edward, for the life I never had. For the part of me that died when he left. For Charlie, now daughterless, and Renee too. For Jake, for leading him on. For Mike too, and his pointless attempts to be with me.

I sobbed and sobbed, and the image most prominent in my mind was that of an angel..._my _angel...Edward Cullen. Alice too. All the Cullens... the family that left me behind.

**Part 4: Jane's POV**

I sat at my crimson table, staring at my scarlet computer, waiting for _that girl_ to reply. I didn't think she was going to. Then, surprisingly, she did.

"I'm doing fine, Jane, thank you. How are you?" She responded. What a prissy little pious newborn. I hate her.

For centuries I've been the backbone of the Volturi, one of the toughest. I'm always called upon to bring down the pain, and everyone has always feared me. I hold my head high and fight touch. I enjoy my place in this society. Now this _girl_ has come along, and suddenly nobody cares about my gift.

All they talk about is their precious "triple threat"; the mental shield, the physical shield, and now apparently the shield that reflects other's abilities to use herself. Who needs me anymore with her around?

She's taking over _my _place in the guard. It's _not fair_. First they change me, take me away from everything I've ever known before I'm barely old enough to not be considered an immortal child. No one wants the little twelve-year-old monster I am.

I was accepted where I was; I was powerful, I was strong, I was feared. What's going to happen now?

"Better, now that you're in your room. You really should stay there; I'd rather not see your ugly self." I told her. I hoped that hurt her. I wish she'd go back to wherever she came from. Maybe if I'm mean enough, she will.

"What do you have against me?" She asked. Everything. Absolutely everything. They way the men's jaws dropped when they saw you, even my _brother_, even the _married men_. The way Aro was immediately infatuated with your ability and _had to have it_. They way you were able to read Aro's mind, and overshadow every other vampire's ability in that room. And then the way you showed me up. I wanted to hurt you, to put you back in your place, to let you see you're not as good as you think.

Then you blocked me. You showed me up. You took _my_ ability and used it _against_ me. I have never felt such awful pain!

Now the Volturi fear you just as much as me. And your gift is infinitely more precious than mine. So what do I hate about you, _Isabella_? Everything. I hate absolutely everything about you.

So that's what I told her.

"Everything." I typed. She never responded. Good.

**Part 5: Bella's POV**

I was sitting on the hearth ahead of the fire place, gazing numbly into the fire, when I heard a knock on the door.

I gracefully arose from where I was and walked over to it. When I opened the door, I saw it was the other small vampire; the boy.

"Hello, Bella, I'm Alec. It's nice to meet you." He smiled at me, putting his hand out to greet me. He was a lot nicer than the girl who looked so much like him; Jane.

I shook his hand, then invited him into my room. He stepped in. "I've come to tell you that we're all meeting now. I am to show you the way, since you aren't familiar with the area yet." I smiled at him, happy at the gesture. I was nervous about having to find the room again. Even if I am able to smell them strongly, I'd probably run into a hundred stone walls and dead ends.

"Okay, sure, thanks." I replied.

"You might want to put a cloak on first; everyone else will be wearing one." I looked at him, thankful for that bit of input. I would hate to the one vampire without a robe, standing out like a sore thumb. They'd already be staring at me for being the newbie, no need to make it worse.

"Thanks for telling me. Is there any certain color I should wear?" I questioned.

"No, we just wear whatever around the building, unless we have brought someone here for business reasons, which we then wear black." I nodded, taking in the information. I welcomed him to take a seat on the couch while I went to grab a cape.

I decided on the midnight blue one, in honour of Edward. I'd wear topaz next time, in remembrance of his whole family. I tied up the ribbon around my neck, and then stepped out of the closet.

"Am I wearing this right?" I asked him. He let out a laugh and shook his head, smiling.

"Here, let me help." He undid the ribbon and flipped the cape over; apparently I had it inside out. He then fastened a button beneath the collar, and then another. Then he took the ribbon and tied it around the buttons. I looked at my feet, embarrassed. You would think I could at least put on a cape properly.

"Hey, it's no big deal. It must be pretty confusing being a human for all those years, and now suddenly joining the Volturi." He told me, shaking his chestnut hair slightly in his response.

"But that's what you did; you were brought here straight from your home after being changed when you were twelve." I told him.

"How do you know that?" He questioned, his crimson eyes searching my scarlet ones.

"I, uh...I read it in Aro's thoughts." I told him, hoping he wasn't offended.

"Well, Aro certainly wasn't kidding when he said we had a talented vampire in our hands." He looked at me, somewhat in awe. I wish he wouldn't; I'm nothing special. I barely even know what I do! I'm just some amateur, runaway newborn captured and sent to join the Volturi Government.

"Seriously, Alec, I have no clue what I'm doing. Laurent told me we were going to travel the world, and the next thing I knew we were sitting around a table talking to that man, Eleazer. Soon enough I was reading Aro's thoughts and sending your sister screaming on the ground. I literally have no clue what I'm doing; please don't think so highly of me so soon." I told him, hoping he would understand that I really am just an amateur, unimportant girl with really nothing to offer. I'm not good enough for Edward, as if I really am good enough for the Volturi...

"Don't think of yourself so negatively, Bella. If your abilities are already this developed on only your first day being a vampire, then you are most definitely an extremely talented vampire. And don't kick yourself over what you did to Jane; she was trying to do it to you anyways. It's probably good that she's got a taste of her own medicine." He said, smiling. I was happy I found someone so friendly.

I noticed the blue sparkle around his body then, and decided to see what his ability was. I let my red haze touch his sapphire, and instantly I learned what his ability was.

"So, you can cut off all of a person's senses?" I questioned.

"Yes...do you know that from Aro's thoughts, too?" he asked me.

"No, my...uh..."shield" told me." Again, I couldn't help but think I sounded crazy saying that.

"Your shield lets you know other's abilities?" He asked me

"Yeah, I can sense what they are, and if I want to use them, my shield lets me do so....it's a bit more complex, but it's hard to explain."

"Okay, so, another question..." he began.

"Wait. My turn to ask a question. What do you use your ability for?" I questioned.

"If we have people who are about to fight us I can cut off all their sense so they won't be able to; they'll be like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. It helps us pass a judgement without interference of a fight starting or anything like that. Also, if a person especially pleases us we block out all senses before we kill them, making it less painful."

"Okay, that makes sense. I suppose it's very useful." I thought, pondering it's possibilities.

"Yeah, so I believe it's _my_ turn to ask a question now," he began, jokingly. We had just reached the door to the meeting room, and he was opening it for me as he asked his next question.

"So, what exactly does your ability allow you to..." his voice trailed off as he noticed me stiffen. The whole guard was already in the room, with Aro in the front.

"Welcome, Bella. In honour of you joining us, we have decided to have a grand feast! Please, help yourself! There's plenty for everybody to fill up on." I glanced around the room to see the pile of humans standing there, staring at us with eyes wide.

I noticed Alec's eyes light up, and the Volturi advanced forwards to the humans, their teeth piercing through the skin..

I smelled the blood, and the rush of bloodlust. Everything happened in a blur then. I sent my net towards Alec, my shield grabbing his ability, and blocked out the senses of every vampire and human in the building. They stood there, stalk stiff, confused. I ran out of the room as fast I could, far, far away. I knew that by now Alec's power wasn't still working on them, and all those humans were reaching their deaths. Even as I was far away from that room, running form hallway to hallway to the outdoors, I could hear their piercing screams.

I stashed my cape in a bush, and ran far away from that building. It was twilight, no one was around. I dashed far away from the main of the city into the forest, ready to fill myself so full of blood that I couldn't take in any human blood if I wanted to.

The human smell still lingered in the air, and I was happy no one was around. The thirst burned in my throat, and I jabbed my teeth into the first animal I saw, feeding and feeding until there was no room left inside me at all.

Working with the Volturi is going to be harder than I thought.

* * *

**The end! Well, of this chapter, at least. I hope you liked it! I'll update asap, which pretty much means tommorow, as per usual. :)**

**Pleaseeeee review!**

**It seriously makes my day, and ask around, I do reply (much longer replies than the reviews you leave me; haha... just because I love you all so much!)**

**Well...any input, ideas, thoughts, corrections, speculations, questions...whatever, just review. Please. Pretty Please? For me? :)**


	13. New Friendships

**I keep getting asked, "Where are the Cullens?" and "Are the Cullens coming back soon?" Well, there is only one response to that.... **_**all the Cullens are dead!! **_***laughs evilly***

**Okay, fine, they're not dead. And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about them. Just be patient. Stories are really much better with build up. I mean, would New Moon really be as good if the whole part with Jacob only lasted a couple of chapters before Edward was back in Bella's life? I think not. Build up is crucial to a story.**

**But don't worry! I'm planning on giving a glimpse into one of the Cullen's life in the next few chapters. You'll just have to be patient. ****:)**

**Ps guys: Tomorrow I have to go get two needles; my tetanus shot, and some blood work done. :| I told my mom I didn't want to go see '', but apparently that makes no difference. (ps she, nor did anyone else in my family, catch my twilight joke. Its a sad life being in a family so outside the twilight universe..). Anyways, I'm not exactly too excited for it. I hate needles..........**

**So here is chapter thirteen....enjoy!**

**Previously: Bella was traded off to the Volturi and after showing some of the extent of her abilities the Volturi asked her to join them. She was given her own room and welcomed to the 'family'. In honour of her joining, the Volturi held a grand feast for everyone. Humans. Bella narrowly escaped without murdering anyone, although she first had to use Alec's ability to stop the blood fall and murder just enough to escape. She went to the forest to hunt, realizing that working for the Volturi was going to be harder than she thought.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

I spent my first night as a vampire in that forest. I actually had lay down and tried to get comfortable, waiting for sleep to find me. Then I realized I wasn't tired. Of course not; vampires don't get tired. Vampires don't sleep. Life, our existence, is just one long day.

One long miserable day.

It was still early morning, and I knew soon the humans would be awaking and the sun would be coming out. I had to get back underground before my skin started sparkling. I had no idea where the building was, but I followed my scent back the way I came. Before I reached there, however, I ran into one of the guard. I recognized him from Aro's thoughts; he was Demetri.

"You do realize you're exceptionally hard to track when your mind is impenetrable." Was his first comment, as he stared at me with an unamused smile.

I made no reply. I had a feeling that running away from the Volturi was probably not the most common thing new additions did, and that they may not be the most happy with me right now. Well, I guess I'll soon find out exactly how they feel. Please, _please _let there be no humans in that building!

I can still feel the intense desire burning in my throat. I wanted so badly to rip each of those humans to bits and devour their precious, sweet-smelling blood. I had never smelled anything so absolutely mouth watering. I don't know how I was able to get away without taking away a human life. All I could think of that those humans had lives, families, people who loved them. They were parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, children, friends...

Now all they are is dead. I couldn't do that. I couldn't take their lives away from them. I pictured each of those humans as Charlie, Renee, Angela...all of the humans I was leaving behind. I couldn't murder any one of those people. I'm not a killer; I'm not a monster. I will _never_ let a drop of human blood touch my lips.

If I am going to be working with the Volturi, I'm going to have to make sure they'll help me with this. It will be a lot easier if they don't lead me in the same room as those sweet-smelling humans, with their blood flowing so easily...

Demetri and I walked in silence. I wished he would say something, but I didn't want to be the first to speak. If he wanted to talk to me, he would have done so already.

As soon as we reached the main building, we flew at vampire speed down under the city through the tunnels to a large room where Aro, Cauis, Marcus, and the rest of the guard were waiting. I felt my stomach crumple into a knot. They were angry. They were angry at me. Of course; I _had_ cut off all their senses and disappeared. But, no matter what they say or what awaits me, I'm glad I did what I did. Any kind of rebuking is better than knowing I took a humans life.

"Well well, if it isn't the little runaway herself," Cauis called, and I saw Jane's lips twitch up into an unexpected grin.

"Hello." I said, quietly, staring at my shoes. It was surprising all the details I could see even from standing up here and looking down... I shook my head, trying to push away my distraction. I needed to focus.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Felix asked, concernedly. I looked up quickly, surprised. They want to know if _I _was _okay_? I didn't think they'd care.

"Yes. Sorry about that." I replied sheepishly.

"You had us quite worried about you. Demetri can't track your thoughts, so he had to find you completely by scent. Luckily, you seem to have found each other." That was Aro who commented then.

"Sorry, Aro. I had to feed, quickly. I didn't have time to think about everything." I tried to explain. I wondered what their opinions were on us "vegetarians".

"Yes, about that...why did you run away? Aro asked me with curious eyes.

"Sorry about leaving so suddenly. If I had of waited any longer I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself from taking their blood." I choked out, remorseful.

"Dear, don't be sorry about it. But I must ask, why did you refrain from feasting with us on human blood?" he questioned. Great; more reasons for him to think I'm crazy.

"I'm not a killer. Although being what I am, my instincts may be to kill, to murder, but that doesn't mean I can't fight them. I am not a murderer, and I don't want to be a monster. There are many humans I love, and to think these humans had families...friends...lives... I couldn't take it all away from them. I couldn't be so selfish as to take their lives for my own gain." I finished quietly, hanging my head. I bet this isn't a common occurrence with the vampires around here. I certainly haven't seen any 'golden eyes' since Laurent left.

I heard sundry members of the guard let out quiet sniggers at my confession. I suppose they thought that I'd soon enough "toughen up" and join them in their beastly ways. I would never—I will never. For Edward. For all the Cullens; the family that left me behind.

"Hah, well Isabella, this is certainly interesting. I'll be fascinated to see if you can keep this up. Not many of us are able to avoid our nature, _especially_ being a newborn. I really don't understand how you _were_ able to leave..." Cauis trailed off, giving me a quizzical look.

"I _will _keep this up," I stated fiercely, "I have to. I won't ever do that. I can't. I won't." I was surprised at how vicious my voice sounded. Of all the promises I have made to myself, of all the things that are important, this trumps them all."

"Remarkable. Truly, remarkable. It takes quite a bit of self control to be able to resist the bloodlust like that...perhaps that's another gift of your exceptionally talented self," Aro chipped in with a fond smile, "it reminds me a good friend of mine, Carlisle Cullen. He refused to give in to his natural food source, even though Cauis, Marcus and I tried terribly hard to 'convert' him. He did have the most beautiful shade of topaz eyes because of it, though...." He started, and ending abruptly, seeming lost in thought.

"You know Carlisle?!" I asked, too shocked to think before I asked. Surely, he'll learn that I was told about the vampire world before being changed. Will the Cullens get in trouble? Carlisle is their friend, though, right? Will it matter?

"Uh, yes...I take it you know him?" Aro stated, taken back by my question.

"Oh, yeah, I did..." I stated, hoping he wouldn't push the conversation further. Apparently, my hopes were fruitless.

"Where do you know him from?" He questioned; of course, I didn't need Alice to predict that response.

I scurried for an excuse. "Oh, uh, he was a...doctor, at the hospital. He was very nice. His children went to my school."

"You were a friend of the family?" He questioned. Shoot. I don't want lie in case he finds out. But, shouldn't he already know? Laurent told Eleazer everything, and Eleazer had touched Aro's hand...maybe he didn't catch part. I have to only give him minimal details, and avoid lying.

"Yes, I was. I had the same biology class as one of his sons, and I was constantly in the hospital—I wasn't exactly the most coordinated human around." I stopped abruptly, angry at myself for telling the whole guard that. I didn't want them to know about how extremely klutzy I was as a human. Why did I have to add that detail?

"From Eleazer's thoughts...it seemed you were closer to the family then just an acquaintance?" Aro phrased it as a question, but I saw it as a statement. He knew. He saw everything I told Eleazer; everything Laurent had learned the Cullens, from the Denalis, and from me.

"They were very nice people." I commented, trying to signify the closure of the topic. He kept questioning me, to no avail.

"How close were you?" He hedged.

"We talked a reasonable amount, but I barely knew for them for long. They soon moved away when Carlisle got an offer at a hospital elsewhere; that's all the information I could really get about their leaving." I told him, politely, using all my strength to keep their memory from ripping the hole inside of me open again.

'_Please, please let Aro drop the subject!'_, I thought mutely to myself.

"I see. Well, that's too bad. We should get together sometime and talk about them; reminisce." He stared at me meaningfully; his voice was thick with implications.

"As for you leaving...." Cauis stated, returning to the subject at hand. Aro seemed to straighten up and get back to business.

"Yes, Bella. We can't have you leaving like that. If you gave away what you are...or if something happened to you...well, we cannot have either." Aro stated.

"Yes, I am sorry. Next time, before you..._feed," _I cringed internally at the thought, "could you please tell me first, so I can be prepared and leave beforehand to hunt myself?" Aro paused, thinking over my request. He eyed me critically before he spoke again,

"I will notify you before feasting, but I would feel better if one of us would go with you." I tried to keep from rolling my eyes. From what I have seen from Aro's thoughts, power is his first priority. With my apparent _advanced beliefs_, I scoffed to myself, Aro would want to protect me more than ever. Maybe he was afraid I'd run off, or I'd convinced to join some other coven.

I crossed my fingers behind my back silently, hoping that of all the people in the room it wouldn't be Jane. Certainly, fate wouldn't be _that_ cruel....would it?

"I'll take her." A man said, and everyone jumped at the comment. It was the other black-haired man from the trio; Marcus. He talked very little, and seemed like a rather depressing person... why does he want to take me?

"Uh, oh-kayy..." Aro stuttered incoherently, stunned.

I looked at Marcus, smiling gratefully, "Thank you." I mumbled to him, still surprised myself at his 'outburst'.

Aro seemed to collect himself, and then began to talk again. "Okay, well that is all for meeting. Chelsea, would you mind coming to talk to Bella and show her the ropes?" He asked of a tall, slim brunette woman.

"Of course," she smiled delicately, before fluttering towards me and taking my hand. She led me of the room swiftly, but note before I saw Jane shooting daggers at me, with a prominent scowl on her lips; it took all my strength not to glower back.

--+--

Chelsea led me to a room near my own, although it was still a fair ways away in the massive underground passage system.

As she opened her door, I couldn't help but gasp. It's not that the room was nicer than my own—although it was certainly bigger—but it was just so beautifully decorated. It was personalized with her own photographs, pictures, drawings, and possessions. I was in awe.

"Did you decorate this yourself?" I asked, taking in the beautiful emerald and ivory color pattern of the room.

"Yes," she chuckled, "the Volturi prefer more...traditional styles." As I looked around I understood; her room was much more modern than my own, or any of the other rooms down here at that. It did have a touch of traditional mixed in, which just added to the awe of the room.

"I suppose you have a lot of questions?" she asked me, already knowing my answer.

"Yes." I replied rather meekly, smiling coyly.

"Well, why don't you get started? You have all the time in the world." She replied, and then we both gave a chuckle at the reality of her words.

"Okay," I started, wondering which of my questions I should tackle first. I started with the most basic. "what do the Volturi _do_?"

She laughed, obviously it wasn't something commonly asked. "Well, I suppose you could say we're the leaders of our people. We watch over our race—the vampires—making sure they follow the rules." I stared at her, gaping.

"There are _rules_?!" I asked incredulously. _How _could no one have told me this?! Chelsea laughed at my outburst before explaining.

"Well, it's quite obvious really. We just can't let anyone know we exist." I nodded, feeling stupid for acting as I did. Obviously, this is why no one told me; it was common knowledge.

"Of course," she continued, "there are many little thing under that in which the people must follow. For example, no one is allowed to create immortal children." I stared at her then, the confusion plain on my face.

"Immortal children are humans who are bit when they have not fully developed. Babies, toddlers, and a bit older than that. Jane and Alec were changed at twelve, and they're okay. It depends on the maturity of the human at the time. Usually seventeen is a common age to be changed, or older. It's rare to find vampires younger than that. If a human is changed before their brain is fully developed—well then, they can't understand our rules. As they grow stronger and more powerful, the cause many problems within our society; that is why all of it is outlawed." She explained. I tried not to gape, but there was so much to take in. I decided to move on to my next question.

"Okay, so what exactly does the Volturi do to make sure these rules are followed?" I questioned.

"If a Vampire tells a human, or if the human finds out what they are, without changing or killing them or any others that know, that is a reason for us to step in. If vampires are on a major killing rampage, people also get suspicious and we step in. Basically, we keep the peace and make sure our existence remains a secret."

"Why?" it seemed a whole lot simpler to me to just let everyone know we're vampires.

"They have technology advanced enough to kill even us. As well, they'd constantly be begging us for immortality. Humans, too, would then be a lot more cautious and it may be harder to feed." I nodded once in understanding. My mind went back to her first comment..._if a vampire tells a human, or if the human finds out what they are, without changing or killing them, that is a reason for us to step in_.

Would Edward be in trouble? I found out what they were. He didn't tell me, but I still found out. They let the Quileutes know what they were, and never killed them. They knew that I knew, and never killed me, or changed me. If the Volturi found out... what would happen?

"So, what is exactly does 'stepping in' entail?"

"We, the guard, as well at the Trio, confront the law breakers. Aro uses his ability to find the truth about what happened, and exactly which vampires are guilty. I loosen the innocent vampire's relationship with the guilty ones, and they are free to leave without getting hurt. We continue our trial, and if they aren't cooperating Jane will...encourage them to. Alec cuts off all their senses while we pass judgement, and if persons are guilty, we kill them." _Kill them? _Would they kill the Cullens if they knew?

"How exactly do you kill a vampire?" I remember Edward mentioning that it isn't very easy to die if you're a vampire. He said he'd have to do something to irritate the Volturi if he wanted to die.

That was back when he loved me...or at least, when he _thought_ he did. He told me that he couldn't live without me, and if something were to happen to me he'd go to the Volturi to die. It's amazing how things have changed. He would _never_ want to die over _me_ now. Not that I'd ever _wanted_ him to die if I were gone.

"You have to rip them into shreds and then burn the pieces." She told me, acting as though we were discussing nothing more than the color of the sky or the value of Pi. It was just a statement of fact.

"What are the names and abilities of those in the Volturi?" I asked, getting into the more personal stuff.

"Well, the Trio are our leaders, and it consists of Aro, Cauis, and Marcus. Aro can read thoughts through touch, Cauis has no special ability, and Marcus recognizes the strengths of relationships." I nodded, encouraging her on. "Then there are ten members of the guard: Alec, Demetri, Corin, Felix, Santiago, Renata, Jane, Heidi, Afton, and myself. Cauis, Felix, and Santiago have no special abilities. Alec cuts of all of a person's senses, Demetri tracks a person by catching the tenor of their brain, Corin can hide the scents of any being or thing, Renata is a shield which repels physical attacks, Jane creates the illusion of pain, Heidi makes illusions of someone's desires, Afton is a '_dome shield_'—he can make the persons inside of his dome invisible and unnoticeable to all of the senses of those outside the shield—however he can only do it for short amounts of time due to the power needed for it, and I can strengthen or weaken relationships." She concluded.

I repeated everything she said in my head, committing it to memory.

"Any other questions?" She asked me happily.

"Well, actually....uh...never mind." I wanted to ask her why exactly Jane hated me so much, but I didn't think I should mention other members of the Volturi. Chelsea would, of course, side with Jane and probably get mad at me, too, for whatever it is Jane hates me for. I decided to keep the question to myself.

"You know Bella, you can really ask me anything. It seems you are going to be a core member of our team, and I'd like to be as close to you as possible. I know things must have been pretty confusing and stressful in your life so far, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you." She smiled at my sweetly then; a soft, reassuring smile. That's when I knew I could trust Chelsea, and then even though not everything is going to be easy, at least I'd have one friend to fall back on.

"Thank you Chelsea, really. It means a lot to me to know I have someone I can talk to." I told her sincerely, smiling as I stood up off her large king sized bed for my room.

"Hey, Chelsea....why do you have a bed?" I questioned, wondering why she had such a large, comfortable bed when we never sleep.

"I share this room with my husband, Afton." She said with a demure smile.

If I could still blush, I would've turned three shades of red. Instead, I settled for staring at the floor. What a stupid question.

She smiled sweetly and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "It's alright; I probably would've asked the same question if I were you. Anyways, would you like some help getting to your room?"

I didn't want to inconvenience her further, but I still wasn't sure if I would be able to find the scent of my room in this dark maze. "Yes, please, it's not too much trouble."

As we walked to my room, our conversation had become less formal and more personal, like two old friends talking. It was nice to finally talk to someone..._really_ talk so someone.

After she dropped me off at my room, she told me that we had to talk again sometime soon, and that she wants to help me decorate my room. I couldn't help but beam at her.

As she left, I sat on my couch with my knees bent under my chin, and drifted in my thoughts. Chelsea reminded me very much of Esme; kind, caring, thoughtful...like a mother; a mentor. Again I felt the unbearable hole ripping me to pieces, and the emptiness biting at me like frost bite on a cold winter's day.

I tried to look back on all my memories with the Cullens, but it was so frustrating. They were dim and hardly clear. It was like looking through a dirty glass, or at a pixelated image. It was so aggravating; I wanted so badly to see them all clearly, but all I had were these foggy memories. I could barely recall their voices; my human ears were so much less sensitive. The memories were so distant from my thoughts, but so close.

I tossed over onto my bed and dry sobbed. Here I am, a vampire, changed with my one purpose being to find Edward and the Cullens...and I'm slowly losing all memory of them. I vowed to think of their memory over and over again, no matter how much it hurt, so I wouldn't lose these memories.

In my mind I pictured Edward glaring at me that first day in biology class, the way I felt when I saw him back in school a week later, him saving me from those men in Port Angeles, when he bought me dinner and wouldn't even glance at the pretty waitress, his meadow, the way his skin sparkled, our first kiss, asking each other simple questions about our lives, the first time I saw their large white house, Alice's perky nature, Esme's loving acceptance, Carlisle's compassion, Emmett's bear hugs, Jasper calming me in the hotel, how I felt when I saw Edward in the ballet studio, the carefree laughter at my eighteenth birthday, our last passionate kiss, the emptiness in him from that moment on...

What had brought on the change so quickly? Perhaps he really, truly thought about our relationship and decided not to lead me on any further. At least he was that considerate.

I signed to myself, sadly, continuing the dry sobs that ripped through me. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing. _Not without him..._

Just then, I heard a knock at my door; I had been too busy crying to hear them approach. I walked over and opened the door to find Aro staring at me.

"I believe we have something to talk about." He stated, and then motioned for me to follow him.

I sucked in a deep breath, and vowed to myself that no matter what, I _would_ keep the Cullens safe.

**Part 2: Aro's POV**

I led Bella down the hallways through to my study. It was a large room, and also far enough away from the others that no one would be able to hear our exchange.

I know Bella knew all about vampires long before she became one. I also knew it was the Cullens fault; they were the ones who had broken the law. Luckily, it seems to have caused no problems. Still, I have to get to the bottom of this. She needs to see what the Volturi stands for, though; what we're all about. I know she's very protective of the Cullens, though. I know that it's because of them she's here. She's going to protect them, no matter what. If I did plan to prosecute them, I'm sure she would fight against me. Of course, that's why I would never do it. I _need _Bella Swan. I need her to trust me, trust _us_. I need her to understand what we do, why it's important. She needs to want to be here, to feel proud to be here. If the Cullens _have_ caused some kind of problem, then I will find a solution to the problem which she is comfortable with. I can't let a gem like her get away. It's really too bad her mind is protected, or else Chelsea could just loosen her relationship with them and strengthen hers with us. Oh well; I'm certain Bella's mind blocking ability will be helpful to us in some way.

"Isabella, I'd like to discuss with you your relationship with the Cullen Clan. Do you promise to be truthful to me?" I asked her, staring into her bright crimson eyes. She nodded solemnly.

"How did you come to be friends with the Cullen family?" I asked her. I wanted to get to the big question: _did they tell you they were vampires?_ But I knew I should start out easy. Besides, it will help me learn about her past, since I can't seem to penetrate her mind.

"His son was in my biology class." She stated, trying to avoid going into details. I wanted _details_ though, and I didn't want to have to ask twenty one questions to get a full answer.

"How _exactly_ did that lead you to become friends with them, and how close were you with them? Did you know they are vampires?"

"He was very nice. We hit it off. He invited me to sit with his family at lunch, and I took him up on his offer. I became friends with his sister, Alice, and then his other siblings. He was very cryptic though, and I thought he acted a bit...different...then the other students. It's not something anyone would usually notice; I only picked it up because I watched him so carefully." She explained, trying to protect them. She seemed embarrassed by her comment, however. After she finished her sentence she suddenly dropped her head down to her feet.

"Why did you watch the boy so carefully?" I questioned. Hmm, this is really quite interesting, and fun. I tried to hold back a smile; I think she noticed though. I felt her foot hit mine, but she didn't move it. I was surprised that she wasn't embarrassed by that; she seemed to be a very self conscious girl.

I waited for her response, and surprisingly saw her relax, and even smile slightly.

"I was in Port Angeles with a couple of friends. They were looking for prom dresses, and it didn't overly interest me. I decided to go to the book store nearby. I didn't find anything of interest there, however, and headed back to the store. It was dark, and I was walking through alleyways and the area seemed a bit shady. I didn't really pay attention until a couple of men started following me, and before I knew it there was a group of young drunk men that herded me. I was trying to think of a way to fight them off when a silver Volvo sped over and the door slammed open. It was Edward Cullen. I jumped in and he took me away from there. We began to talk a lot after that day. We both..._felt_ for each other." She concluded, although the ending seemed to upset her. I wondered why. I suppose it has something to do with the Cullens leaving her.

"Did you know he was a vampire at that point?" I questioned.

"Yes." She told me, confidently. I was surprised both by her boldness, and that he had told her this secret.

"And did he tell you that?"

"No." What did she mean _no_? How else would she have found out?

"Did one of the other Cullens tell you?"

"No."

"How did you find out then?" This caused her to pause, and she looked around uncomfortably. Finally, she responded.

"I knew something was different about them. I watched them everyday; they'd buy their food at lunch only to throw it away when the lunch bell rang. I bumped into Edward's hand putting a slide in the microscope, and felt the unnatural coldness to it. A van almost hit me, and I noticed that he has instantly seemed to get to my side and save me. Before his brother could take out the dents in the van, I saw his shoulder indent in it. Somewhere between his odd eating habits, his unnatural speed, unnatural strength, and the cryptic things he said, I knew something was odd. When I questioned him about this he'd try to avoid the topic; he'd tell me to stay away from if I knew what was good for me. He told me he's not the superhero, but the bad guy. One day he even said 'If I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.' I knew something was very different about him, but despite his warning to stay away I couldn't keep myself from him." She paused, thinking over her response. It didn't pass my notice how she tried so hard to try to make me see that he was innocent; a lawful vampire. It was true; he was trying overly hard.

"The kids were getting together for a party at La Push beach. I invited Edward to come, but as soon as he knew where we were going he refused. At the beach, one of the girls, Lauren, tried to taunt me by saying it was too bad Edward couldn't make it. One of the boys, Sam, said 'The Cullens _don't_ come here.' The way he said it made it seem that it wasn't simply they didn't care for the beach, but that they weren't _allowed_ there. I got one of the boys, Jacob, off on his own to try to coax the information out of him. I wanted to know what Sam had meant by what he said about the Cullens. Jake accidently said that they weren't supposed to talk about it, then he realized he gave too much away. I tried to flirt the information out of him, and it seemed to work." She paused, looking down. I tried to hold back a chuckle. I'm sure _that_ would have been an interesting sight.

"He told me that there were legends of his tribe, the Quileutes, about werewolves. The werewolves' eternal enemy is the vampires. He told me the story in the way you would tell a horror story, and I listened intently. He explained that the Cullens had been on the land long ago, and that they were vampires. The reservations elders' ancestors had been werewolves, and they made a treaty with the vampires. The vampires were never to bite or kill a human, and were to stay off their land. Both sides were not allowed to tell anyone what the others were. They shook on it, and the treaty stayed in place. Jake thought it was all superstition; he didn't know that the myths were actually true. Edward was furious when I explained to him how I found out, but I tried to convince him not to get mad at Jacob. It really wasn't his fault; I made him tell me." She finished, staring at me intently, as if trying to plead with her eyes for me to not punish them.

"You were okay being that close with a vampire?" How odd. Why would a human do that? I suppose we are overly attractive to our prey...

"No. I decided I would rather die than live without him. I promised never to tell anyone about what they were, and he believed me; I had never said anything about his super fast speed or the dents his body left in the van to anyone before." I looked at her, confused.

"Why aren't you still with him now?" I questioned. She looked down. Apparently, this question hurt her a lot.

"It was my eighteenth birthday. I was at his house at a party Alice had planned for me. While opening one of the gifts, I got a paper cut. Jasper was about to jump for me. Edward slammed me into the glass table. My arms had scattered crystal stuck all through it and I was bleeding rapidly. The rest of the Cullens were frantic as the bloodlust began to rise in them. Carlisle was the only one who stayed calm. He got the ones who couldn't handle it to leave, Jasper being dragged out of the house. Carlisle took the glass out of my arms and stitched me up. After that, Edward realized that I'm nothing but a weak human after all. I really am nothing special, with nothing to offer. He began to grow distant, and soon told me that he and his family were leaving. He said he didn't love me, and that I wasn't good for him. I couldn't disagree; I wasn't good enough for him. He left, telling me that it would be as if he never existed. I haven't seen him since." She finished quietly, her eyes staring at her feet. I could tell she was near sobbing again.

"He took everything. The cd he made me with his lullaby for me on it, the plane tickets Carlisle and Esme gave me to visit my mom, even the pictures we had together. All my memories of him. Then he left, I didn't even get to say goodbye to him, or Alice, or the rest of his family..." she trailed off, her voice a raspy whisper.

I didn't know what to say. The pain was evident in her voice, her posture, the way she held herself, her eyes.... I said the first thing I could think of, not thinking first if it would hurt her more.

"I have a picture Carlisle has given me of his family. Would like it?" Of course not. She wouldn't want reminders. Why had I suggested that?

I've just never seen someone in so much agony...so much pain. She was suffering silently, and I could see that her happy smiles and carefree laughter was really just a mask to the way she was on the inside. I was happy I knew though; I could help repair her. Soon enough, the Volturi will be the closest family to her that she has ever had.

"Yes please." She told me, her voice a bit more volume than before. She tried to shake off her sad state, and smiled, though the pain was still hard to miss. I walked over to a cabinet and took out the picture Carlisle had sent me years ago. As I handed it to her, she thanked me gratefully, but I could see the pain hit her as she took in the photograph. She quickly looked away from it, keeping it tightly in her grip, as she returned to look at me.

"Are you going to get the Cullens or Jake in trouble?" She questioned me. It was odd, though. She looked as though she already knew my answer, but was just asking for certification. I guess I must just be bad at reading people's faces without the ability to read her mind.

"No. If I hear of anything more from the Cullens though, we may take action, but I'll drop it for now." Her lips turned up into a happy smile, but it still looked as though she expected it. I decided to ask her out on it.

"Bella, it seems as though you...expected my answer. As if you knew what it was going to be. Why, do you think, that I feel that?" I questioned, not completely positive if she would understand my question. Apparently, she must have, because she put down her head and looked away.

That's when it hit me. She purposely had put her foot next to mine; she wanted to hear my thoughts so she would know if it was safe to answer her questions. I chuckled slightly at my realization, and she looked up, smirking.

"I suppose you already know the answer." She replied deviously.

"I really am going to have to watch you, Miss Swan; it seems you're quite the clever girl."

"I have been known to be rather perceptive." She smiled, happily, as she got to her feet.

"Thank you, Bella, for stopping by. I look forward to our training. If you ever have any questions, need any help, want some company, whatever....just come find me. I hope you make yourself comfortable here." I smiled at her.

"Yes, I will. Thank you very much Aro...for everything." With that she got up swiftly and walked out the door, the Cullens picture held tightly in her hands.

Life's going to be quite interesting with her around, it seems....

* * *

**There you go! Another chapter. I know it wasn't super-super interesting, but you need to learn about Bella's relationships with the volturi members, who the volturi really are and what they really want to do, and how Bella is coping with everything before we get to the next point on my story line. It should only be a few more chapters...**

**but hey, admit it. learning about her life with the volturi is kind of interesting....right? (please say yes! lol)**

**Pleaseeee pleaseee pleaseeeee review! It's what keeps me going. And if you have any interesting ideas, I might just listen to them. Questions? I'll answer them. Any comments-- good, bad, w/e...all are appreciated. I respond to alot of your reviews (if you give me something I can really reply to! lol)**

**Pleaseeee review!!! :) *begs* haha. Until next time... (aka my next update, which, guess when that will be! ...tmo!)**

**NOTE: Press 'review' button below. =]**


	14. Living Soul Dead Heart

**Here you go; chapter fourteen.**

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to **_**change**_** her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. In the last chapter the Volturi confronted Bella after she ran away during their feast. Chelsea becomes her mentor, and Aro finds out the real reasons for her being her. What will happen now?**

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

_The flames are so beautiful. Gazing at the inferno, I see them smoulder and burn. Fire; it's on fire. Nothing in the blaze but the flames. So peaceful; so vicious. Vicious, always so vicious. Makes me think of you. I would say, "my heart beats only for you", but it seems in your absence my heart beats have disappeared. But, how then, does my stone cold heart feel so alive; bleeding and torturing me to the bone; every fibre, endless torment. How can a heart of stone bleed? How can it feel? I wish it were numb, I wish it were dead like me. I wish it would crash and burn. I wish I would crash and burn. Can't your pyschic see this deranged girl? This monster, this sociopath, this girl in the depths of despair. So morbid, so painful, so biting. I see her, everyday, the reflection in the mirror. I'm dying. I'm dying. But you can't die when you're already dead. I'm dead. I've been dead so long, so long without you. I'm falling apart. Lifeless. How can I be so invincible yet so vulnerable? I wish you well, I wish you well...._

--+--

After I returned to my room from talking to Aro, I instantly fell to the floor. My second night as a vampire; just as painful as the last. Scratch that; more painful.

I took out the office supplies in my desk. I got out a topaz piece of paper and glued it behind my picture of the Cullens. Beneath it, I wrote in midnight blue ink, "_to the family I never had_".

They were everything I wanted. They were my future. I was going to be with Edward; we were going to live and love each other. I was going to be a beautiful vampire, and we'd live forever with Carlisle, Esme, and all of my beloved 'sisters' and 'brothers'. It was so perfect; my fairytale dream. I didn't need to be Alice to see that was my future. It was so plain, so vivid, the unwritten captions to every action, every move, every thought of my life. The dream I clung onto so badly was ripped out from under my feet; my future stolen from me. The Cullens, most candidly, are the true family I've always wanted. The true family I'll never have.

I kissed the photograph amorously and tenderly placed it delicately in the decorative table right of the hearth. I don't want to have to constantly bring the pain on myself to look at it, over and over again. There's no need to make myself more of a masochist than I already am. I need to rectify any of myself that I have left. I need to put away the hopes and dreams of the life that'll never be mind.

Why do I feel I need _closure_ so badly to do this? Am I really that feeble that I can't survive without the man who clearly wants nothing to do without me in his life? _How pathetic._

--+--

The night passed by slowly. I tried to hold in my dry sobs; I didn't want to let the others know just how weak I really am.

It was nearing dawn when I heard a beep on my computer. A new message. I opened it up quickly, "important meeting. Wear black cloak. East stone room. Felix, escort Bella."

_That _must be what the computer's supposed to be for. I wonder what's going on? Black coats must mean something serious.

I walked over to my closet, trying to shake off my previous numb feelings. I want to make a good impression on everyone; I don't want them to see how messed up I really am. I changed quickly, pulling on tight black leather pants and a black velvet shirt, before tying up my black cloak the way Alec had showed me. Cursing inwardly to myself, I realized I had never asked where the showers were. It probably could have relaxed me last night, plus then I'd be a bit cleaner. Oh well.

I grabbed my brush and ran it through my hair a few times, realizing I needed some hair elastics. Do the Volturi go shopping? The thought almost made me laugh.

Within seconds Felix was at my door, and I swallowed down the painful reminder of Emmett once again.

"Are you ready Isabella?" he asked me politely

"Yes, thank you." I responded, closing my door and following him though the underground passageways. I wonder if I'll be able to find my way around this place...

"How was your night?" He asked, making conversation. It was a simple question, but I obviously wasn't going to tell him the truth...' _I mostly just moped around, thinking about this guy I love who dumped me...'_

"It was okay. Sort of lonely, y'know..." I trailed off, wondering what it was that other members of the Volturi do at night. I suppose a wide majority of them are married...

"You should join me! Demetri, Corin, Alec and I usually get together and play card games. Corin usually ends up winning, though—you should see the huff the others get into." I laughed beside myself, tearing out of my sombre mood.

"Well, I have to say it does sound fun...but I completely suck at card games." I told him, smiling.

"Hey, that's what we're here for; we can teach you." He looked at me hopefully, but I wasn't sure. I've never been good at card games, and can never seem to understand the rules. Then again, it will keep my mind off...off _them_.

"You have no idea what you're signing yourself up for." I told him, shaking my head slightly, flashing a witty smile.

"Oh really? I happen to think of myself as a rather superior teacher. It's hurting my feelings to have you think so lowly of my abilities." He teased.

"Fine; next night here I'll join you, and prove you wrong. You'll see just how unteachable I am. However, I might have a little problem proving that to you when I won't be able to find your room." I informed him.

"I have the perfect solution! I'll pick you up at your room, and then I'll accompany you to mine, where you'll see just exactly how wrong you've been in your assumptions."

"Oh, you're _on_." I told him, grinning. It felt weird to use those muscles again. "Hey, Felix, I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Where are your guys' showers?" I asked him, seriously wondering where they could be. He let out a loud chuckle at my bewildered tone.

"There's a shower room down the hall from your room. I'll show you once this is done...I assure you, I'd be quite an excellent teacher to assist you in your first vampire shower." He smiled smugly, and I smacked him on the side of the head. Surprisingly, I didn't feel embarrassed, annoyed, or angered by his dirty comment, but rather amused. This guy really _is_ a lot like Emmett.

"I'm pretty sure I'll be fine in that department, although your offer was quite generous," I told him, rolling my eyes, "what's this meeting about, anyways?"

"Meh, probably some suicidal or crazed vampire whose giving our identity away, either that or some newborn war...maybe even some more immortal children..." Felix listed off.

"So what does the Volturi really do? Just hang around here and train, and then step in whenever there's an interference with the rules?" I questioned.

"Yeah, pretty much. There seems to be a lot of rule breaking vampires out there, which is understandable considering our nature. It's pretty awesome to fight, though. Then we have a big feast when we get back and celebrate. Actually, we get one before we go too. It's just exciting. Without lawbreakers, days start to get a bit tedious." He told me, clearly excited about his position. I have to say, it is a lot more exciting than just being a nomad—possibly even better than constantly completing high school over and over again.

Soon enough we reached the east stone room, and Chelsea met me inside with a big embrace. Afton then introduced himself to me; he had curly blonde hair, slight muscles, and was only a bit taller than me; he was also the first vampire I've met with dimples. As I walked further in to the room, Aro gave me a wide, encouraging smile, Alec tossed me a friendly grin, and Jane gave me her usual glare.

"Attention everyone," Cauis began, looking rather angry at the small gathering for being chatty. "It seems there is a small coven of three which grabbed quite a bit of notice as they enjoyed a large feast in the Hong Kong mall. Many humans noticed this event, as the coven did not plan it but rather had a lapse of control. They hadn't fed in a while, yet for some unfathomable reason they decided to go into a highly populated area of the city to _shop_. The names of the three are Adalia, Vilveca, and Nedra. They are at least one hundred years old and know better than this. We're going to have to get rid of them, and then decide which humans are most likely to go spreading rumours about the event. We will have to stay there until this is all cleared up. It shouldn't be that hard of a tast; we will be back soon. We do not need the whole guard. Marcus has offered to stay behind and hold fort, is anyone else interested?" Cauis informed us. I wondered idly to myself what he meant by _get rid of them _and what are they planning on doing with these humans. Suddenly, I was quite sure this position wasn't as honourable as I once thought.

Cauis glanced around the room, looking for volunteers. No one offered. I suppose Felix isn't the only one who enjoys this.

"We need at least five of you to stay back here, in case of problems in Volterra or surrounding area." Cauis continued, but still no one offered.

I raised my hand hesitantly, not wanting to stand out, but also deciding that this didn't sound too _honourable_, and that if everyone else wanted to go, I might as well do what I can to let there be more space for others.

"Bella has graciously offered," Cauis announced, "however, Bella, you need to come for practice. Any other volunteers?"

With a sigh, I saw Heidi, Corin, Santiago, Afton, Eleazer, Chelsea, and Felix raise their hands.

"Okay, that's better. Heidi, you better come, you might need your....ability," Cauis told her with a wink, "Felix, you might be helpful to come as well, with your muscle." Felix grinned at that, and gave Cauis one quick nod.

"Okay, well we'll depart at twilight. It's time for us to eat now so we'll be well fed and strong," Cauis continued, then shot a piercing glance at me. He must hate me for complicating things. "Marcus, since you offered and won't be needing the extra energy, would you mind accompanying Bella hunting?"

"No, that will be fine." He replied, his voice sounding empty. I realized that this was the first time I had actually heard him so a full sentence, really.

--+--

We travelled briskly underground toward the forest; Marcus showed me a passage that led there. As we emerged in the woods, I quickly sped off towards my prey, my throat suddenly burning. Marcus followed slowly behind me, looking like he was in some sort of a daze.

I pierced my teeth into a fox, then a couple of bear. It supplied my thirst drastically, although it wasn't quite the right taste and did not drown out the burning sensation fully. It was better than being a monster, however.

I noticed Marcus attack a pack of unicorn deer, which he devoured quickly. I couldn't tell what he thought of it; he made no comment. He soon accompanied me back to the tunnel, silently. I walked slowly, not wanting to get back before they were done 'feeding'. Marcus seemed to understand my reluctance, and did not press to go faster, which I inwardly thanked.

It seemed like ages as we walked through the tunnels at what I thought to be a human speed, but we eventually made it back to the central area. Marcus walked me to the stone room, and before he left my side I whispered "thank you" to him; for coming with me, for silently hunting, for understanding my need to walk slowly...I doubted any of the other Volturi members were so kind.

Everyone was thankfully done feeding; apparently they eat in a different room, so there was no tempting blood or horrifying images. Aro informed those attending the upcoming trip that we had approximately seven hours to train before it would be time to leave.

I gulped, scared. What do you do at _training?_

Basically, it was more of a debriefing than anything, "Once we had the three vampires, we will have a short trial to see if they are guilty. If so, they are to be _eliminated_. As for the humans who witnessed the attack: if we heard anyone mention the incident in the mall with the vampires, Aro and Bella would casually touch them to read their thoughts and see which other humans might cause a problem because of this. Once we find the major gossips, we'll do away with them. If other humans witnessed, they will assume they were crazy and no one will believe them. They're humans; they'll die soon enough anyways. So, basically, standard procedure." Aro and Cauis informed us. The other members nodded, as if the masters were reading aloud a boring excerpt from a textbook. Their words stunned _me_, however.

"How am I going to refrain from killing these humans if I get that close?" I gasped. I'm a newborn, after all....this is most certainly _not_ a good idea for me.

"You seem to have plenty good self control. Besides, we'll stop you if we sense you are planning to attack. You need to learn to be around humans, anyways. It is much easier if you're fully satisfied, however..." Cauis suggested allusively. I gritted my teeth, but otherwise ignored the end comment.

"What do you mean you will kill the three vampires if they are guilty? Shouldn't they be sent to a vampire jail?" I questioned.

"Silly Bella, in the vampire world, there _are_ no second chances. If you can't comply with the rules, you're not able to live in the vampire world. But don't worry, we'll make sure that we know they're fully guilty before taking their lives." Aro told me pleasantly.

"What are the humans guilty for? What is your justice for taking their lives?" I demanded.

"They cannot spread our secret. Our way of life will only work if this is kept in secrecy. Which is why we're so strict with our rules. Of course, we only kill as few humans as absolutely necessary." Cauis informed me, although I caught the wink he gave to the rest of them.

"I will not be a part of taking away innocent people's lives." I told them, and Cauis stabbed daggers at me.

"Bella, if you're really that uncomfortable with it you don't _have _to do the actual killing. The blood," Aro paused to smile, "will remain on our hands."

"But Aro, I'll still be helping you murder innocent people either way." I insisted.

"Bella, we will only be killing as few humans as absolutely necessary. Besides, the ones we take Alec will cut the sense of, and we'll take them back for food. We'd have to kill humans anyways to eat." He commented.

I sighed in defeat. He was right. Obviously, I couldn't force them to spare humans lives. At least they were going to use the humans to sustain them instead of just mercilessly killing. It's...._slightly_ better.

"Okay." I said in a small voice. And, of course, Aro beamed a smile of triumph. He then began to discuss tactics and strategies. We discussed for hours, and used the remainder of the time for actual physical training.

They all gave me tips; they were very supportive. One told me to hold my breath around the humans, another told me to think solely on the task at hand and not on my thirst, another told me that seducing the humans always worked in getting the truth out of them (that was Felix.), and other such comments. The task was apparently rather easy, much simpler than others they sometimes have to deal with.

The training was difficult. I fought with every vampire in the room, each of them critiquing me and giving me their own advice. I learned not to go for the easy kill, but to use strategy. I was told me use my newborn strength to my advantage when fighting. I was told that I should use my ability to share other's talents to read the minds of those I'm fighting with, or to block their senses, give them the illusion of pain, etc etc. I tried using different vampire's abilities on other vampires, and it worked surprisingly well. Everyone was excited for me. Well, all except one. Jane.

We had been spinning in circles, snarling at each other. We both crouched down to attack, and she dived at me. She used her knowledge to pin me into many different positions, although from watching the others I knew she was not a good fighter; she depended far too much on her talent for fighting people.

I was able to use my newborn strength to pin her to the cold floor, my razor teeth skimming the edge of her neck. She was furious at her defeat. Everyone else was happily surprised I defeated her. I wasn't doing so well before that. Most had at lead a bit better fighting skills then Jane, others exceptionally better. Cauis, Aro, Felix, and Heidi were the best fighters; I was actually quite surprised that Heidi was so skilled. Alec and Renata were much like Jane; they depended too much on their abilities to really know how to fight. Renata had managed to beat me, but Alec and I had a tie. It was probably because he was physically younger with less muscle and height. I think he may have been a tad embarrassed for losing to me. I presume that he feels he should be a good fighter because he is male.

"It is nearing dusk now. Aro, Jane, Alec, Heidi, Felix, Renata, Demetri and Bella; please follow me to the jet. And Bella, Aro wants to sit with you on the plane. He wants to give you some guiders for the event. Marcus, others, please keep watch on the city and our building. Thank you." Cauis called, and then marched out of the room, with the vampires who are attending following close behind him. _Why did Jane have to come?_ I thought sourly to myself.

"Hey, darling, how are you?" Heidi asked me, to my surprise. I pictured her being arrogant and full of herself, not bothering to pay attention to anyone else. She reminded me of Rosalie...who always hated me. I shouldn't have judged Heidi sp quickly; she seemed rather nice.

"I'm good, a little nervous." I admitted. Heidi laughed and encouraged me not to be nervous.

"It's actually pretty fun—much more fun than just hanging around inside the building." She told me happily. She seemed to be a very easy person to get along with.

"Yeah, I just hope I do okay." I told her, giving her a half-hearted smile. I was still feeling remorseful for the lives that are sure to be taken.

"You did really great at training today; I swear you almost got me at one point!" She exclaimed. I laughed.

"Sure. I may have newborn strength, but that doesn't make me a good fighter. I still barely know much more than I did before training today. You're amazing at it though; it looks so...so _natural_ for you." I said in awe.

"Well, it sure didn't come easily. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll give you the ropes sometime when we come back, okay?" She asked, her smile dazzling.

"Sure." I agreed, cheerfully.

Our conversation was cut short when the tunnel ended and we emerged to find a large black jet plane. Aro took my hand and led me to a seat, where he began to give me further, more detailed instructions. I think I got the jist of it.

I was to be help hunt down and catch the three vampires, and then become part of the jury to decide if they're guilty. After that, any humans who obviously witnessed the incident in the mall are to be persuaded to come outside with us and join Alec in the car, where he'll take away their senses and hide trap them there. It will be noticeable through their personal reactions to us looking like the other vampires, or through their thoughts with both Aro and I can read through touch. When we have decided the major human 'gossips' are gone, we will head back to Volterra, and the humans will be used as feed. I agreed numbly, not liking the ending. I tried to convince myself that humans were going to die anyways for food, it shouldn't make a difference if they're from here our elsewhere.

My conscious still continued to yell at me, however. It seems Edward was wrong; I thoroughly believe I do still have a soul.

* * *

**So, what do you guys think? I don't think it's as interesting as others I've done. It's hard though with where the story's at. Just a few more chapters until I can start getting to the next plot on my story line...**

**Any suggestions for upcomming chapters and interesting events that could happen would be awesome, though.**

**I hopeeee you liked this, please say you did! lol.**

**well i am extremely tired. I stayed up late last night and got up early to get my tetnus shot and bloodwork done :/ yuck. then i had to move my desk from my room to downstairs for my computer, plus my family went out to dinner... so i had very little time to write today, and havent gotten much sleep lately...**

**pleaseeee review this for me! reviews always make me smile. :) they're what keep me going!! **

**so yeahh.. i want to go sleep now...**

**vv press this button right here to make me veryyyy happy!! vv**


	15. Murderer

**Chapter Fifteen**

**I love how so many of you thought Edward was going to be the suicidal vampire! Hahaha. Looks like you're just going to have to have patience while you wait for the Cullens to come back in the story...that is..._if_ the Cullens come back ;)**

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to _change_ her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. In the last chapter the Volturi confronted Bella after she ran away during their feast. Chelsea becomes her mentor, and Aro finds out the real reasons for her being her. There has now been a major vampire attack in a populated China mall, and half the guard and two of the trio are off to settle the problem and fix the damage. How will Bella cope with her first Volturi task?**

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

The plane ride didn't take along. It's amazing how fast you go when vampires are in the driver's seat. There was only the nine of us on the plane; Cauis piloted and Felix co-piloted. The jet was small, but comfortable. I was next to Aro, who mostly discussed strategy with me. I listened intently, trying not to let my mind wander away. I felt a knot in my stomach, and I was disappointed that vampires can have that feeling.

The rain pelted against the windows, and I longed for tears I'll never cry. _Why do you always have to think about them?! _I berated myself, but it didn't stop the thoughts. I tried to tune them out, but, another negative about this vampire life, is the extra room in your head...being able to think about so many things at once. One may wonder how this is a negative, and I suppose it's not...if I weren't trying to block out all thoughts of the one who first broke this now stone cold heart.

Before I knew it, the plan had landed. One by one we filed off the plane, and marched in synchronicity down the China streets, our heads high and chests flared. Left, right, left, right our feet took us forward. It was early morning; no one was around. Demetri led us, his senses tracking the three vampiric felons.

Felix, Heidi, and Alec pinched three black Nissan NV200s. There was space in the front for three people, and then the humans could be places in the back. I took the van with Demetri and Aro. The second van had Cauis, Renata, and Felix; the third had Jane, Heidi, and Alec.

My van led. We pulled the windows down so that Demetri could track the three vampire's scent. Aro's driving was worse than anybody I had ever driven with. I felt like I should be keeping my hands on my seat to stop from flying out of the car. Demetri sat on my right, leaning out the window to breathe in the air. I let my shield reach out and become mauve with Aro's talent, and in no time explored Demetri's mind to find the scent of the vampires. Soon enough I was using Demetri's ability, tracking with him. I tried to remember exactly what the scent was like from his thoughts, although it proved to be difficult. I had to really concentrate, and force the information to stay in my mind. I began to recognize the scent in the distance, and focused on it. It took all my strength, and I focused intently, going back and forth from Aro's to Demetri's gift. My mind seemed to soon catch the scent better, and I was able to confer with Demetri as to where the scent led. Surprisingly, I actually was helpful when the scent was a tad stronger in the left window.

It didn't take long to find the vampires. When we were close, we parked our vans recklessly and jumped out. We kept out of human's eyes, taking back roads or travelling through trees. It was exhilarating. We ran, climbed, flew through the path, all the while with our heads held high and journeying in such harmony that to an outsider it would be both beautiful and terrifying. Every movement was smooth and perfect, yet we were travelling so fast that a human would miss us with one blink. I was thankful for my newborn strength; I don't know if I could travel so fast, so perfectly, without my old blood still strengthening my system.

I was taken aback by the surroundings, which although we passed in a blur, I could still see every detail. I couldn't hold back a smile, though I tried. All the other Volturi had expressions of focus, determination, and superiority. I was sure a girl's gleeful smile wouldn't fit in, so I tried to contain myself. Jane did shoot me a monotonous glare when a few branches tickled my granite skin and my melodious voice let out a small giggle.

When we were nearing a small house, we stopped abruptly, though with beauty and flare. The movements looked stiff and course, yet were slow and deliberate with no tension or anxiety. Ahead of us the smell of honey, peppermint, rose, and cucumber filled my mind. This must be these vampire's scents. Aro and Cauis stepped forth, their crimson eyes burning, cold, and determined. With three short knocks on the front door, we were graced with the three people who rendered of our journey necessary: Adalia, Vilveca, and Nedra. Their faces beheld looks varying from shock, horror, and pain, to sorrow, fear, worry, and regret.

"Adalia? Vilveca? Nedra?" Cauis stated, not quite a question but also not a statement.

"Yes, that is us." The black haired man stated, his eyes coal black.

"Is it true that this past week you massacred over nine humans while in a populated city mall?" Aro questioned, his voice laced with an icy edge. Cauis and Aro were sending shivers down my spine. Yet, although they spoke coldly, they looked utterly comfortable and at ease. It was an odd combination.

The three hesitated. They would not agree. If they did, they knew death was coming. Aro advanced towards them, outstretching his hand. He motioned for Adalia to come forwards; the black haired man. He did, and Aro reached out as to shake his hand, but then left his hand there. I wished to know what they were saying so I could fully judge, but I was too far away from them to casually put my skin towards them. I waited, impatiently, to hear what would come next. The rest of the guard were not as impatient as me, but rather stared towards the three in their arranged v-shaped position. Cold and stiff, they waited patiently for Aro to finish.

I decided to look over the three vampires in question. They were all dressed in blue denim jeans and cotton shirts. The one woman's was long sleeved and only covered one shoulder, with a silver chain belt attached around her waist. She was pretty; pale skin, black hair, and a heart shaped face. Her eyes were a darker crimson and I could tell she hadn't fed in a while. The other female wore a short sleeved turtleneck sweater. It, too, was red and showed off her curves nicely. She was more beautiful than the other woman, although both were still more shockingly beautiful than any human. The man had on a plain long sleeved black cotton shirt that clung to his defined muscles perfectly. His black hair was short and groomed. He looked like this country was where he originated from; his features were asian looking.

Finally, Aro began to talk. "You were born here two hundred and fifty eight years ago, and were changed when you were twenty three. You have no excuse for not being able to contain your thirst. It was very poor judgement on your part to go into such a populated place with such a high thirst. I am very disappointed in all three of you for this event. You know the rules; don't let others know what we are. You broke this rule severely. I will have to discuss this with the guard, and then we will talk to you."

Alec then blocked the senses of the three of them so they couldn't run away or try to escape. Aro touched Cauis briefly to get his opinion, and then turned to us.

"Cleary, all three of these people have broken the rule severely. All three are centuries old yet still committed this appalling misdemeanour. The day it happened their eyes were coal black with deep circles beneath them. They were going to wait for nightfall to go hunting, but felt like shopping. They assumed because they were so old they would be able to restrain themselves from the humans, but they were horribly erroneous. Who here believes they should be annihilated for their crime?"

Everyone raised their hands; it was unanimous...well, all except for one hand. _Mine_. I knew that they would undoubtedly die anyways when the majority voted for their death, especially with this high of a majority. My vote didn't matter either way, but I couldn't just tell them to kill these people

"Bella? Why have you not raised your hand?" Cauis asked incredulously.

"They were sorry; they didn't mean to. It really was an accident...I just think it's horrible to take away their lives for their one mistake." I said quietly.

"Bella, what would happen if everyone had second chances? We would have a lot more crime. We have enough as it is. These people _knew_ the law, they even thought about the consequences. However, they _overlooked_ them. It was an unacceptable error, and because of what they did even more innocent humans had to die." He told me. I had to agree, it was all true. However, he did tell me that these humans would be used as feed so their death wouldn't matter. I understood what Aro meant, though, and it was all true.

"I understand." I told them all.

"So do we have your vote?" Cauis brazened. I paused, fighting with my conscious as to whether _I _would help send these vampires to their death. I thought it over, and agreed. This was the right thing to do.

"Yes, you have my vote. It is unanimous." I stated. Aro and Cauis smiled at that, happy to break me out of at least some of my humanity.

What happened next was quick. Alec returned them their senses, and one by one Jane sent them screeching and to the floor. Next Felix, Demetri, Heidi, Aro, and Cauis surrounded the ternion. Soon they were in a tight melee, and sharp, jagged, ear-splitting screams filled the air. Within seconds the piercing shrieks were accompanied by sparks and blue-yellow flame. Before I had a chance to even comprehend who was doing what, white-gray rubble lay crumpled in a pile of flame. Cauis stood alone next to the fire, holding a small metal object which was still shooting flames unto the pyre. With a small clicking sound, the object cut off, and Cauis slipped it into his cloak.

I stood frozen on the ground, aghast and horrified by the event. Edward had said a vampire's death was near impossible; tremendously difficult. Yet here it came and went blindingly fast, without real effort or trial. Within a matter of seconds three lives were taken. I'd never seen death before, but it made me feel like I was missing a big hole in my life.

--+--

We were soon on our way to central Hong Kong. We raided the three vampire's house and dawned their clothing, not wanting to stand out with our black cloaks. Aro also passed us each a pair of dark sunglasses. I tried to follow the others in looking human; blinking every so often, tousling my hair, walking at a human pace. It seemed quite tedious and a lot to take in, but I managed.

We convened back into the vans and shot away from the small house, the purple smoke still flying high. We sped first to the police station. Heidi, Renata, and Aro were the only ones to enter. Aro observed which police were working on the mall killings case by slowly dazzling them and engaging in small conversation, using his ability to alert Renata and Heidi on which to take with them. Heidi seduced the men into coming, and Renata dazzled them. The few female police offers Aro beguiled, and we soon had eight cops in the parking lot with their senses cut off.

Alec and I did it together; I was nervous at first, but he grinned at me for support. He had explained to me previously that it's hard to use his ability when his targets are mixed in with those whose senses he doesn't want cut off. He did most of it himself; I think I was more there for practice. However, when we had so many humans coming out in a semi-populated location, it was good to have a backup. I tried to keep my distance, fearing that their scents would leave my throat burning. Luckily, I wasn't overly thirsty and none of them were excessively tempting. It was a lot more brutal when the humans were bleeding and I was semi-thirsty that first night I came to the Volturi; my first night being a vampire. Once they had their senses cut, we tied them up and tossed them into any of the vehicles.

We got back into the cars, after I first exchanged a high-five with Alec. Who would know vampires could be so human? The speedometer was almost 130mph; less than earlier when there were no humans around. Before long, we were at the Hong Kong mall. Alec was staying out in the parking lot with the vans to 'knock out' any humans who heard about the event. Cauis and Felix were planning on going after the security guards, as well as getting the tape from the last week. Heidi was going to join them in case the guards needed _persuading_. Renata was either to be with Aro or Cauis; dazzling men to come with her as well as being close by in case of any danger to the 'masters'. Aro was going to read minds of those around to see who knew the vampire secret; he was going for the women and me the men. If Alec needed back up I was to help him, or if they had enough people in the mall. If I couldn't _handle_ the human scents, I was to join Alec. Demetri was planning on following the vampire's scents to where the murders occurred, assuming that area would more likely have people who witnessed the ordeal. Finally, we had Jane, and she was to listen into conversations for mention of the pale-skinned's attack. She was young enough that she could lure people out by asking for help finding her mother or other such things; she could lure either men or woman.

Finally, it was time to put our plan into motion. I walked side-by-side with Aro; Renata was starting out with Heidi's group. As him and I walked into the mall, we walked separately; if we were close together we would be mistaken for a couple and wouldn't as enticing to those we wanted to lure out with our beauty.

Aro stopped in a populated clothing store, motioning for me to follow. With a wink he went off on his own, and I saw him dazzling a young girl. I followed his advance. There was a teenage boy, probably around seventeen, who was looking at some records. I took in one deep breath before approaching him, knowing I'd be trying to breathe less with his scent around me.

I casually put my foot next to his; Aro's ability already in use within my mind. I searched through the young boys thoughts, and although he had heard the story of the murders, he hadn't actually witnessed it. I moved on.

The next man was probably twenty-five, tall, broad and handsome. I did the same thing as with the last boy, searching through his thoughts. Not a witness, either. I internally thanked God that they hadn't; I didn't wish death upon them.

I went through and followed the procedure for another six boys. Then I found a 'witness'. He was perhaps twenty one, with shaggy brown hair and freckles, his eyes an emerald green. _Just like Edward's_, I cringed, then shook off the thought. It's no time for _that_.

This man had been walking by the bookstore when he saw a pale woman lunge towards a man, sinking her teeth into his neck and glugging the blood down her throat. Then the black haired man did it, and the other women. Before he knew it, nine people were dead. He tried to run, but his feet wouldn't move. He saw with shock their bright red eyes, and his heart began beating frantically. The trio simply left the dead bodies there and dashed out of the mall, leaving nothing but cold air behind them. He has been having nightmares every night.

The police came, but they couldn't understand how it was possible for nine people to be murdered so quickly by three people. It was havoc. People were screaming and fainting everywhere, horrified. The police could not match up the fingerprints to anyone, and never found the people who matched the description. It's still on the news, but no one understands how the murders could have happened. Even the witnesses can't justify what happened; all they know is it _did_.

The boys name was Dylan, and his friend practically dragged him out here saying, 'you can't let that ruin your life; you have to live a little...forget about it'. Dylan was mad at his friend for not understanding, but came nonetheless.

Currently, he was browsing through some magazines. "Hey," I called to him in my harmonious voice. He looked up, startled. From his thoughts I saws that my pale skin slightly reminded him of the killings, which scared him...but at the same time, he was infatuated by my beauty. I almost laughed out loud by hearing _me_ and _beauty_ in the same sentence.

"Uh, er..I...hi.." He squeaked. I muffled a laugh. This was _not_ funny. This guy was going to _die_. Just for watching a murder happen, he would lose his life. My conscious screamed at me, but I tried to justify my actions. _Someone would have to die anyways; we're trying to preserve our way of life—no one can know vampires exist._

"How's it going, stud?" I flirted. It was like déjà vu to my time on La Push beach with Jacob last year. _Jacob. I miss you._ I thought sadly. I'll never see my best friend again; I can't hurt him. He's just another human, easily vulnerable to my bloodlust.

Dylan stared at me, obviously shocked I was talking to him. I flipped my head around teasingly as if I was playing with my hair; although truthfully I was trying to delude his scent from the air, as well as getting a gulp of fresh air down my throat.

"Uhm...it a..it's good." He stuttered. I noticed from the corner of my eye Aro escorting a couple of girls outside of the mall. _Shoot, should I try to get another guy at the same time? No, one's enough for my first attempt. Oh great, now I can't read his thoughts anymore..._

"Oh, that's good." I replied, giggling like an immature school girl.

"Yeah, so...what uh...what are you up to?" He scrambled, trying to keep on topic. Dazzling people is actually kind of fun.

"Well, I was actually going to head out to my car. I've been shopping all day; all by myself, though. No one could come with me. It's been so...lonely." I sighed, pouting my lush lips.

"Oh, really, that's...that's...really too bad" He stammered, his excitement painfully obvious.

"Yeah, it is. I just wish I had _someone_ to make me less lonely." I sighed heavily. "Hey, would _you _walk me to my car? We could talk more, maybe we could go out..." I trailed off, feigning being nervous. His face lit up.

"Uhh, really...sure, I'd uh, I'd love to...let me just tell my friend..." He scooted off excitedly. I groaned. This is the last time his friend will ever see him. Soon, this nice boy will be _dead_. I can't do this. I really, really _can't_ do this.

Dylan quickly returned. The shock of his scent overwhelmed me when he flew back so quickly; I had just gotten used to his scent being gone and it was back. _Maybe I could just take one drop now...they're just going to kill him anyways...NO; NO BELLA. They're killing him for _their_ feed. You don't kill humans! Just do your job..._

We made small talk as we walked. He officially told me his name, and I told him mine. He began to tell me all about himself; his family, friends, school.... the guilt I felt was just getting worse and worse. _How can you murder him Bella?!_

Finally, we reached Alec. I walked away from Dylan when we did, although it pained me to do so. _I just led him to his death_, I thought bitterly to myself.

"Bella?" Dylan questioned, wondering why I was suddenly walking away. Before I had a chance to respond, Alec cut off his senses. I walked back to him, putting my arm around his waist as I dragged him to the back of the van. The flames engulfed me, and I held my breath. Though, it didn't help much when I already had his scent in my memory, and on the tip of my tongue...

I grabbed the rope and tied his arms and legs together, tossed on a blindfold, and then put duct tape over his mouth. If I could cry, I'd be tearing up. _You're a MUDERER Bella!! _I yelled at myself. And it was true. All true, true; painfully true.

I'm a murderer; a killer. This young man's eradicator. His little brother will never play baseball with him again. He won't be able to give his mother her 48th birthday present tonight. His dad will never see him go to college. His friends, his family...they'll never see him again.

I broke down. As soon as he was in the truck, I couldn't contain my agony. I lay on the cement floor, shaking and dry sobbing. Alec stared at me shocked, unsure what to do.

"Bella?! Bella?! Are you okay? What's wrong?" He called to me frantically.

"I'm a killer, Alec! I'm a murderer! Do you hear me? I'm a bloody murderer! He....he...he has _friends _Alec! He has _family_! Friend and family who will _never_ see him again!! He'll never graduate college, never get a job, never be a father or a husband...he'll never have a father or a grandfather or any kind of future. All that's left for him now is _death_." I spit furiously, horrified at what I'd done.

"Bella..." Alec began, unsure what to say.

"Don't! I'm a bloody monster! I deserve death myself! Kill me Alec, kill me! Please! I'm horrible; a horrible person! I ought to have death brought upon me!" I cried, tremors going through my back. Alec ran towards me, comforting me.

"Bella, Bella; shh. It's okay. Shh. Someone was going to have to die anyways, we _need _them for food, Bella. I know it's hard to comprehend, but that's what they are, they're just _food_. We need their blood to survive; that's why we crave it, that's why everything about us is designed to kill. It's out nature, Bella, we're murders..." he urged, begging me to understand.

"No. We don't have to! Just because it's your nature it doesn't mean you have to!"

"Bella..." he paused, changing the direction of the conversation, "they know our secret. They _saw_ three of us murder nine humans! They can't walk this world knowing our secret; they'd try to kill us! They'd all know who we are, what we do... Life isn't possible when humans know what we are. It's those three vampire's entire fault. If they hadn't of done that, if they hadn't broke the rules, we wouldn't have this problem!"

"We don't have to kill him! We could _change_ him; then he'd be one of us, and it wouldn't matter that he witnessed it anymore because he'd be _one of us!" _I exclaimed.

"Do you really want to damn him to this life, Bella?" Alec questioned angrily.

"We could give him the choice. Death or be changed. He could decide." I begged.

"But we'd need humans for food anyways, Bella! It might as well be him!" He pleaded.

"But I was the one who led him to his death! I learned he witnessed the event, I coaxed him out of there, and now I'm sending him to his _death_! His blood is on my hands!" I bellowed.

"Bella, Bella..." he soothed, "It's alright. Just stay back here. You don't need to do anymore. Just help me take away their senses. That's not murder...it's just easing the pain so we won't hurt them if they struggle." He pleaded. I gave up. He was right, all right. I may be a murderer, but they were going to die anyways. At least if I do _this_, I won't be _quite_ as involved in their death.

"Okay...." I whispered, "thank you, Alec....for everything." I told him, giving him a small smile.

"Anytime, Bella." He grinned back.

--+--

I joined Alec in cutting off senses. We brought out numerous security guards, and over twenty 'witnesses'. As the luring process began to speed up, Alec and I both actively worked together. It was actually kind of fun, once I blocked out the memory of this people being brought out here to their _death_.

The others assumed that the scent was just too hard for me to control myself, but really, I was fairly strong at that. Sure, it burned uncontrollably, but my pain is better than causing them pain.

By twilight Aro said that, judging from people's thoughts, we had gotten a large number of witnesses. The ones we didn't get probably weren't in the mall; and there would be such a small number that no one would believe them anyways.

We drove our shiny Nissans back to the airport, driving at 200mph—the van's top speed. Demetri and I joked back and forth on the drive back; we had gotten closer since I attempted helping him track earlier. He was actually giving me pointers now, and telling me interesting tracking stories from his path. Aro would join in now and again with some amusing comments from his own experiences and memories.

On the plane, I sat beside Alec—much to Jane's dismay; she was sitting with him too. Cauis and Felix piloted, Renata and Heidi sat together, the same with Demetri and Aro. It really and truly felt like _family_.

Aro gave a little speech, which the others groaned at teasingly. Although he referred to Aro, Cauis, and Marcus as 'masters', we still joked around now again. I was surprised; we appeared to be formal and serious on the outside. Actually in the Volturi, we were really close, almost like family. But only _almost_. Sure, everyone was friends, but the bonds were nothing like that of the Cullens...and many of these people had been together much longer than the Cullens.

"Attention everyone! That was a good job you all did today. I was expecting us to be gone at least a couple of days, but we did a thorough and timely job. I'm proud of all of you. Now you can all look forward to our grand feast when we get back!" Aro announced.

"Sweet! Feeding yesterday, today, and _tonight_! Bella; did I ever tell you how _happy_ I am you're here? We used to only get fed once a week, sometimes twice, sometime once every two weeks. It's _great _having you here!" He teased jokingly.

"Oh really? And is that the only reason you enjoy my company?" I teased back, although I was still inwardly horrified that he could talk so casually about the slaughter of innocent humans.

"Uhm, let me think about that..." he teased. I punched him in the arm light-heartedly.

"OW! Hey, be careful, _newborn_! That actually hurt..." He told me, half-in jest, half-seriously. I apologized quickly; I hadn't realized I punched him so hard.

"So, _Bella, _why did you leave and join Alec just now when we were in the mall? He was fine by himself; we could've used you. But I suppose you were too _weak_ to be around humans. And to think you act all noble by refusing to feed on them, then you avoid them saying it burns too bad! What a hypocrite!" She spat at me. Alec shot me an apologetic look.

"I didn't leave because of the scent; that I could just barely manage. It was the thought I was so prominently helping with the murder of innocent humans—humans with friends, families, futures, _lives_....I couldn't keep doing it. One was too many." I admitted, still angry at myself for the one man now in the cargo of the jet that I brought this upon.

"You're so _pathetic_, Bella. Really." She shot at me. She looked as though she was going to say more, but then decided she said all she wanted to say and continued to stare out the window.

Alec and I went back to our conversation.

**Part 2: Tanya's POV**

Hmm...I should go visit Edward. I haven't seen him in awhile. Last time he was in love with that pathetic human that Laurent sold out to the Volturi.... I can't believe he could fall in love with a human! At least he came to his senses and dumped her. The _idiot_. Something is definitely wrong with him. But, I must say, he is quite the charmer. So sweet, mannerly, and dashingly handsome. He looks like a greek god! It's so embarrassing when he catches me thinking that in his thoughts, though...

When should I go see him? I definitely won't mention that Bella-girl when I do; he'd probably be pissed one of my clan brought her to immortality, I bet he wishes she were dead. She probably looks gorgeous now, though, it's best he _doesn't_ see her.

I do owe her so much....she's shown me Edward _can_ fall in love. I was starting to think he was gay or something. Then again, he did fall out of love rather quickly, too...

Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'll call up his family and ask where he is, then I'll surprise him! He _will_ fall for me this time. _Oh, just you wait Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! I'll seduce you so bad you won't have a chance at rejecting me!_

Smiling evilly to myself, I chose a few little outfits for my vixen self... this is going to be _fun_. No way he can turn down someone with such seductress charm...

I have experience. I have looks. I have everything he _wants_. Oh, boy, will I get him this time!

I ran downstairs to the phone, dialling Alice's cell....

* * *

**yayy! Tanya! Uhm, so guys... I have a question... does this little part with tanya count for bring the cullens back into the story? ;) lol!!**

**I hope you liked this chapter!!**

**Please press review for any comments, questiones, suggestions, whatever! I'll more than likely reply :)**

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	16. Nighttime Patrons of the Arts

**Chapter Sixteen**

**I got my 100th Review by kittyKLL!! yayy!! thanks to everyone who has reviewed and continue to review :) it means so much to me!!**

**Happy Almost-2009!!! =]**

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to _change_ her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. In the last chapter the Volturi confronted Bella after she ran away during their feast. Chelsea becomes her mentor, and Aro finds out the real reasons for her being her. They are just returning from clearing up the incident in Hong Kong, and back in Alaska Tanya is scheming on how to get Edward to want her...**

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

We got back in Volterra by dawn. We had to carry the humans off the jet through the underground tunnels, and I could barely keep myself from breaking down.

The humans had all their senses cut for the time being, and most people were carrying more than one person at a time. I carried just one: _Dylan_. He was the only American in the bunch; his family moved there when he was five. The others were all patriots to China. I had talked to a couple of them before being tied up and put in the truck back in Hong Kong; one of the girl's names was Cho, and she was just fourteen. I couldn't believe we could kill such a sweet, innocent girl! She had actually been very friendly to me, that is, until her senses were cut.

Now here all these innocent humans are, being dragged to their painful deaths. I was excused early from carrying them by Aro; he told me that it wouldn't be much longer until everyone else was 'digging in', so I should get Marcus and hunt.

Aro called out to him loudly, and Marcus heard. He came quickly, dressed in a long mahogany cloak, making his pallid skin stand out. He courteously asked me how my trip was, and I told him honestly that it was an '_interesting experience_'. He simply nodded after that, not saying much else. His crimson eyes looked far away, as though he was longer in the present with me. I felt sorry for him. I learned from Aro's thought about his wife...and how she died. It literally tore him apart. He looks almost as bad as I did before Jake started comforting me when Edward left, and it's been centuries since Didyme died.

I sunk my teeth into a couple of red deer, and I saw Marcus catch a tawny bear. I wonder what he thinks of this _diet_...

"Master..." I started, stumbling. Should I call him Marcus or Master? Master sounds too formal, but Marcus sounds too casual.

Marcus turned around and looked at me, his cold eyes willing me to speak.

"I was just, uh, wondering...what do you think of animal blood?" I questioned. He paused, thoughtfully, as if wondering if he should actually answer or not, and if he were to answer, what he should say.

"There is no comparison to human blood, but it's better than murdering humans...maybe God will take pity over me and let me into _heaven_." he stated quietly, which a cold, icy hard edge. I wondered why he suddenly decided murdering humans was wrong, and where his thoughts on heaven came from.

As per usual, we ambled noiselessly towards our abode.

**Part 2: Tanya's POV**

I had just dialled Alice's cell, and was waiting for her to answer. It rung three times before I heard her pixie-like voice. "Tanya?!" she squealed.

"Hey Alice!" I exclaimed, smiling. Her reply was disheartened.

"Tanya, Edward isn't here...he...well, he's off living alone for the time being." She concluded silently.

"What? Why?" I gasped. Since when isn't Edward living with the rest of his family?

"He...it...it's personal. He won't talk to us anymore. He won't talk to anyone. He just mopes around being all sad and depressed and...." Alice trailed off, near sobbing herself.

"What do you mean it's personal? Alice, tell me!" I begged

"I...he..." she couldn't even make out a full sentence anymore; she was pulling in ragged breaths and sounded on the verge of breaking down. "S-s-sorry Tanya...I have to go...I'm k-killing Jasper..." she whispered, agony plain in her voice.

"NO, Alice, _wait_..." I begged, but her phone had already clicked off.

_What _is going on with Edward? Why would he just up and leave his family like that? And Alice, she was in so much pain! How could Edward _do_ that? What did she mean it's _'personal'_, and why is Edward so depressed? _What have I missed?!_

Well, so much for surprising Edward. I picked up my cell again and punched in the numbers for his phone. No answer. I redialled. Still no answer. _Edward Cullen, I _know_ you have your cell phone on you, and I know your avoiding my phone call! Well, I'm not going to stop calling..._

I tried it over and over again, but nothing. Then I decided to use a different phone, one whose number he didn't know.

I went out into town and bought a new phone; he needed to think I gave up on calling. I registered the phone and set it up, then I was dialling his number again.

And again. Repeatedly, constantly, frequently, repetitively...over and over again I dialled his number. I actually almost hung up on him when he did answer, expecting no answer again.

"_What do you want?!!" _he snapped angrily. His response took me by surprise, and I didn't know what to think.

"Hey Eddie, it's me, Tanya! I've been missing you... where are you? We should meet up!" I told him excitedly, trying my best to be flirty and excited at the same time.

"I'm not interested." He said coldly. I sat there, stunned. Sure, he always made it clear he wasn't interested in me, but he's never been _this_ rude.

"What's gotten into you Edward?" I questioned.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He replied, just as coldly.

"Edward, I _know_ you.... _something_ is definitely wrong." I insisted

"Okay, fine, _Tanya, _do you really want to know what`s _wrong_?!" he spat at me. He didn't wait for me to reply.

"I'll tell you what's _wrong_: I crushed the girl who is the reason for my existence's _heart_, went back on every promise I made to her, ruined all her hopes and dreams....I crushed her, I broke her...and now, now she's going to fall in _love_ with some sleazy guy who will be nowhere near good enough for her...and she's going to grow up and have his children, and be a mother...a grandmother...and she's going to grow older and _die_. I'll never see her again! She's going to go through all her life hating me, thinking she wasn't good enough for me! And now...now...now I'm _forced _to live this life of absolute nothingness... there's no point to _anything_ without her near me!!" His anger slowly began to burn out, and was replaced by intense sadness.

"I just...I can't...I'm unable to live without her. She was—is—_everything_....and now...now..." he choked and stuttered; I had to intervene.

"Oh, Eddie! It's okay! Come, tell me where you are, I'll comfort you! You don't need her. She never was good enough for you; you can do so much better... _I'll _get your mind off of her...." I insisted, whispering seductively into the phone. _It would work for_ _any other guy_.....

"NO!" he practically roared. "Tanya, you've been infatuated by me for more than long enough! You know that I wouldn't want your succubus body anywhere near me! So stop _fantasizing_ about me! You're repulsive, you know that? How dare you even _say_ that she's not good enough for me? You don't even know her! She's twice the women you'll ever be!" He exclaimed angrily and passionately, then ended the call.

Seriously, how could he fall so hard after a _human_?! I'll never understand him. She's not even a human anymore, anyways! Not that _I'm _going to tell him that. He must have had some strong reason for not changing her, and there's no way I'm going to let him know what Laurent did so he can yell at me—us—even more.

He can just sit all alone and mope away his life. I've been chasing him long enough...I should just give up already. If he changes his mind, he'll know I'm here.

Ugh. What was so special about that Bella girlanyways? I doubt I'll ever know. He really is tearing his family apart over his stupid infatuation. But, whatever. He's not my problem—not anymore.

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

After Marcus and I hunted we met in the stone room for a meeting. I sat beside Chelsea, who embraced me as soon as she saw me.

"Hey, you! I've missed you!" Chelsea called to me, and I smiled at her pleasantly. She began to ask me how the expedition was. I told her honestly what I thought; I voted for three people to lose their lives because they made one mistake. I understand, though, and I know that that was what had to happen. However, I helped the luring and killing of countless humans. I tricked one myself—an innocent boy, only twenty-one—I led him out of the mall and into the van _to his death_. I even carried him part way through the tunnel! Not to mention to countless human's whose senses I cut as we tied them up and put them up and put them in the truck.... I told Chelsea how much of a monster I am; Bella, the eradicator. What a _lovely_ title.

She rubbed soothing circle on my back and told me the exact same thing Aro and Alec have been trying to pound into my head; _humans had to die anyways for feed. They knew our secret—they could severely hurt our way of living. We couldn't leave them living, it's just not _safe_ for us. Besides, really...it's our nature to drink human blood; we were going to be killing humans anyways, whether these ones or others..._

Everything they said made perfect sense, yet why did I still feel like such a traitor to who I used to be? I'm a hypocrite; I drink animal blood to save human lives, then I just go and lure innocent humans to their death anyways.

I sighed heavily and desperately tried to shove my thoughts away. Luckily, Cauis began to speak. "Hello everyone! The mission went well; we have served justice to the three rule breaking individuals, and cleared up the problem of the humans who witnesses the murderer. The problem is now completely taken care of, so rest easy for the day.

I'd like to do some training later this afternoon, so there will be no need for cloaks. Be in the fireside room at seven. As well, Aro, Marcus, and I are leaving for the Museum of Sacred Art tonight at midnight. If you are interested notify Aro.

Next week, unless a major felony occurs, we will be leaving for Paris to study the arts. We leave Tuesday for three days. That is all; I will see you this afternoon." Cauis concluded.

"Why are we going to Paris? And why are they going to a museum tonight?" I questioned Chelsea. It seems like a very odd thing for the leaders of the vampire world to do.

"You don't know...?" Chelsea questioned, surprised. When she saw my confused expression, she continued, "another name we call ourselves is "the night time patrons of the arts"; we are a very civilized and well educated coven. Typically, we study or enjoy arts every night, often going on trips outside these walls when it's too dark for humans to see us. It's part of what keeps our group so close—we enjoy being together. The Paris trip is also for bonding, as well as continuing are knowledge and appreciation of the arts. The wives will be coming as well. It's a fun chance to be more...'_normal_'" She explained. I couldn't believe it; the leaders seemed to determined, so stringent, so tough....they enjoy _arts_?

"Alec told me that he, Demetri, and Corin play card games at night. Why aren't they studying arts too?" I questioned. If they're called 'night time patrons of the arts', then shouldn't everyone study art at night? Chelsea loud out a slight laugh.

"The Volturi's been around for centuries; sometimes, some of us get tired of doing arts every night. We allow people to have the freedom to do what they please. Although, most of our outings non-work related are to do with arts. They really are quite beautiful if you begin to study them," Chelsea began, but was interrupted by Heidi.

"Bella! You need to come shopping with me tonight!" she exclaimed. I stared at her, dumbfounded. She wants to go _shopping_?! They _actually_ go shopping?! I heard a few chuckles, and if I could still blush my cheeks would be a brilliant shade of red; there were multiple heads looking in my direction, obviously humoured by my shocked expression.

"....shopping?" I questioned

"Yes, honey! What, did you think we were going to let you wear cloaks and those black clothes that barely fit you in Paris? Yeah right! We have to get you something else to wear!" Her face lit up at the thought of shopping. _Great, another Alice. _But seriously, what are we _doing_ in Paris?!

"Heidi, _why_ are we going to Paris, and _what_ are we going to do there?" I insisted.

"Arts, of course! You do know that's our favourite past time, besides keeping our race safe? We're going to go there and meet up with some friends who live there; they always are hospitable and give us a nice place to stay away from the sun. Then we'll get to enjoy all the art exhibits we want, depending on the weather. If it's really sunny, we always have night time! It's just _so much fun_!" She exclaimed. I swear she was going to be jumping up and down clapping soon.

"How are we going to go shopping at night when all the stores are closed?" I questioned. Maybe they knew the store owners? Heidi looked at me as though I had a third heard.

"What better time would there be to go? There's no humans around...no sun...and it won't be busy at all!"

"How do we get in?" I queried, still confused.

"We break in, of course. It's so much fun! Wow, I have so much to teach you!" Heidi giggled, then continued talking, "well, I better go...Corin's waiting for me..." she said with a wide grin and a wink, then she was gone.

"Looks like Heidi likes you!" Chelsea said with a laugh. "She loves to shop, as you can probably tell. She's actually the one who got all of our cloaks; she had a special designer she knows do them and everything.... you better watch out tonight; I bet she's planning on how to give you the perfect make over right now."

"No...she wouldn't..." I said with dread. Heidi was absolutely gorgeous; unbelievably long legs, statuesque, long, lustrous mahogany hair, violet eyes, and a silky voice. She reminded me so much of Rosalie; her beauty could easily crush every girl's self esteem near here. At least she was kind enough to take me shopping, _not that I want to go_.

--+--

It was soon training time. I wore a pair of black yoga pants and a charcoal tank. I made a mental note to get an elastic band with Heidi tonight, then I was out my door and off to the fireside room to train.

I was first partnered with Alec. He was able to knock me onto the ground by grasping my knees; a disadvantage to being taller than him. I tried to swing my body up over him before he could pin me, and I just barely managed. We were soon crouched in front of each other again, waiting for the other to make the first move. Alec ended up pouncing towards me, and I dodged him just in time. I may have a physical shield around me, but that doesn't mean I can't still get knocked around; it just means I can't get physically hurt.

Next it was me who pounced for Alec, and he wasn't as lucky as I was. I jumped on him, pinning him to the ground, but he soon was squirming out from underneath me, and before I knew it he had _me_ pinned. I used all my newborn strength to push him off, and it just barely worked. Still, he ended up pinning me again and again. I soon gave up and moved on to Chelsea. She was still hard, but it was a more even fight with her being my height. I always seemed to be the one getting pinned to the ground, though.

"Hey...Bella..." Afton called me, breaking me out from beneath Chelsea, where I had been restrained.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"I was wondering...I have a gift where I can create an invisible dome barrier around myself. No one can see me when I am inside it, and it also blocks my scent and the sounds I make so no one knows I am there. I learned a century and a half ago that I was able to use my dome to not just cover myself but others as well. I was wondering if that was possible with your shield."

"I....don't know..." I stated, wondering if it were possible.

"Lets try it. I'll get Alec to cut off Chelsea's senses, and you'll try to extend your mind shield to cover her. If her senses return, we know your gift is working, then we can try and see if it'll work against a physical attack on others too."

"I...I...I don't think I can share it with others. I don't feel it at all, I just know it's there because it keeps me protected..." I mumbled, confused.

"What does it feel like, Bella? Eleazer said that you've seen your physical shield when Laurent surprised you. You also know your shield is there because you're able to send a 'red haze', as you call it, to capture and use other's abilities. Surely then you _must_ know your shield is there." He stated.

"Well, I...yes. I know it's here when I try to use other's abilities, or when it blocks someone from hurting me, but I have no idea how to share it with someone else."

"Okay, let's try this them. Alec!" he called. Soon enough, Alec was there cutting off Chelsea's senses, and I was trying to push the bubble-like shield I had onto her. It wouldn't budge.

I pushed harder and harder, furiously trying to spread it over to Chelsea. It wavered slightly, but that was all. It was like trying to blow air into a balloon with a hole in it; it wasn't spreading to Chelsea.

We spent hours at it, trying and trying to flex my shield further. It stretched only slightly, but enough to let Afton know we were doing something right. Alec gave Chelsea back her senses, and I saw her and Afton share a loaded glance. Afton said something to Chelsea I didn't catch, and she nodded once. Before I knew it, Afton was calling Jane's name.

Afton told Jane to use her gift on him, and that I was going to shield him from him. She grinned evilly at me, and suddenly Afton was on the floor writhing in pain. Chelsea stared at him with pained eyes, and screamed too. I desperately tried to pull out my shield, and it barely covered him. It was weak; there were holes. Jane was still hurting him. I pushed and pushed, trying frantically to help Afton, but to no avail

"Afton! NO! Let me!" Chelsea screamed, and before I knew it, Chelsea was insisting to Jane to hurt her too. Rage flooded through my veins as I saw Jane's happy smile she tossed at me, please she could show everyone how weak I am; how I couldn't even protect my own friends. Soon they were both screaming and rolling around in laceration.

My anger shot through me in rolls, I was almost shaking I was so mad. I pushed, pulled, and _yanked_ my shield towards them, using all the strength I had. I soon realized that my shield was like an elastic coil that stuck to me, but with my anger it was as if the hard elastic melted into a stretchy substance, and I was soon able to cover the both of them, protecting them from Jane.

Jane glared menacingly at me, and tried harder to hurt them, but she couldn't do anything. I _finally_ protected them.

"Alec..." Afton called as he slowly got up from the ground, my shield following him.

"I want you to hit me; hard. I have to see if I can feel it, or if her physical shield is covering me." Alec soon wound his arm back, and struck Afton in the chest. Afton smiled eagerly, exclaiming, "I didn't feel a thing! It was just a slight tickle—nothing more. Try harder, Alec!"

Alec listened, and beat Afton repeatedly. Afton felt nothing, but we noticed as he slowly went from smiling, to looking confused, to frowning, to being in actual pain.

We learned that my shield can be pierced through. If it is hit in the same place repeatedly, eventually the Plexiglas-like material was smashed in a whole where the hits were aimed at. Alec was able to hit his skin one hard time before the hard plastic material once again melted and reformed, filling the whole.

So, it seems my physical shield isn't completely protective of me. If I'm hit enough in one spot, I'll eventually have a hold in my shield, and I could get severely hurt before plastic melts and patches the spot. It was a good things to know.

I also learned I could shield people, and _that_ made me very happy. It was one very productive training session.

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**Okay, so I knew that wasn't the most interesting of chapters... but I promise there'll be something in the next chapter leading us into the next plot point, so it should get more interesting. Did you like this chapter, though?**

**Was the part with Edward close enough to bringing the cullens back into the story? ahhha. i know you've all been missing them..... (=**

**Ohh, I was listening to this song "Wish you well" by Thousand Foot Krutch, and it definetly made me think of Jake in this story when Bella left to get closure/find out what she wants in life.... you might like it... :) here are some of the lyrics:**[[_Sometimes love, feels like pain; and sometimes I wonder if it's all the same. Sometimes life, feels just like rain; cause you never know when it's gonna fall down on you. // I wish you well, I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help, but I can't help you find yourself. Sometimes faith, feels like doubt; and sometimes I wonder if we'll even get out. Sometimes life hurts just like now, but ya gotta know it's all gonna come back around. // I wish you well, I wish you well on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help, but I can't help you find yourself...find yourself...I can't help you find yourself, find yourself... // And we were sixteen at the time, nothing could ever change our minds. We were one step below invincible, and we always fought it. You've never been the same, you were so scared to make a name, then you threw it all away, and i wish you'd come back now. // I wish you well, I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself,I wish you well, wish I could help, but I can't help you find yourself, I wish you well, I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself, I wish you well, wish I could help, but I can't help you find you_]]

**4 more hours until 2009! Happy New Years!! **

**Please review this chapter! I want to know what you think of my writting, how this story went, if you found it interesting, and mistake you found in my writting (people normall find a few in each chapter...haha) or anything. I just love to get reviews. :) Ask me questions too, I reply to most reviews. (although I can't answer the question if it's going to give away some of the story!! ahha) well, thats pretty much all. i'll review asappp!!**

**Please press the green button below to review!!!!!!!!! :) [[+make me quite happy.]]**

**Who will be the first to review in 2009?! =)**


	17. Past, Present, Future

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Happy 2009 Everyone!! Thanks to Tianna M.V.A for my first comment in this new year!**

**I hoped you all liked Edward's special appearance in the last chapter.... lol :)**

**For this chapter I'd like to reiterate that in my story, Laurent didn't return to James & Victoria's coven when he left in Twilight. He simply stayed with the Denalis. **

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to **_**change**_** her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. In the last chapter the Volturi confronted Bella after she ran away during their feast. Chelsea becomes her mentor, and Aro finds out the real reasons for her being her. They recently cleared up an incident in Hong Kong, and Tanya attempted to get Edward back (to no avail). What will happen next?**

* * *

**CHAPTER Seventeen**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

Training ended around eight o'clock, and Alec asked if I was still interested in playing cards with the guys. I told him sure, but that I'd have to leave at midnight.

He walked me to my room, and we ended up talking. It's not like I had anything better to do until they met at nine. He was curious, of course, as to my life story and how I ended up here. I really didn't feel like getting into; talking to Aro was more than enough. However, it seemed only fair. I already knew most of the major parts of his life thanks to both Aro's ability and mine.

"So, how'd you end up here?" he questioned. I internally groaned, and wondered if he could sense it. He didn't seem to.

"I was tricked here. This guy, Laurent, told me we were going to go explore the world, he said he'd always wanted to visit Italy...well, apparently, all he wanted was for me to meet Eleazer. And, of course, get his reward." A flash of emotions changed through Alec's face—I recognized a few of them...confusion, pity, anger, worry, confusion again... He looked as if he were trying to decide which question to ask first.

"If you were tricked here, why didn't you just leave? It's not like they can tighten your bonds to us with your mind shield or anything..." he stared at me, questionably.

"Well, I decided it was probably the best thing for me. I didn't know much, but I assumed that working with the vampire's '_Royal Family' _was probably a better option than wandering around as a nomad for eternity." I told him, scowling at how upside down my life has turned ever since I met _him_.

Again, Alec looked at a loss for which question to ask. I suppose my story was rather interesting, in a twisted, demented kind of way. "How did you become a Vampire?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and say 'a vampire bit me, duh.', but, I knew that wasn't the answer he was looking for. "Laurent bit me."

"Who's Laurent?"

"The guy who sold me out to the Volturi to get his reward." I spat, not that I was angry at him really. The Volturi is a better option than I could've hoped, and I never could've become a vampire without him. I just need a chance to leave and hunt down the Cullens now. Maybe Aro would know where they are....

"Why did he change you?"

"Well, apparently it was because he assumed I would have great powers, and he wanted to get a reward from the Volturi." _Really, is this boy stupid? I guess I can't really call him a boy; he's older than Carlisle..._

"So what happened? Did he just corner you and bite you? And why did he think you'd have an ability?"

"Actually, I asked him bite me; I wanted to become a vampire. He thought I had an ability because he heard his coven and a.... another coven mention it." _Shoot. Shouldn't have mentioned 'the other coven'...._

"Why did you want to become a vampire? And how did these covens know...or assume...you had an ability?" Now he was looking pretty confused—it was actually rather funny.

"I wanted to become a vampire because, well, I have to get some answers from a friend...the coven he was with was called the 'Denali' coven, golden eyes like me. They knew I had some sort of an ability because another golden eyes family told them their observations; the Cullens." Then I got up and carefully picked up the photograph from the decorate table right of the hearth. I knew he'd probably want to see it, so I passed it to him. For some odd reason, I felt some kind of connection towards Alec. Not romantic...but like...a brother. The little brother I never had.

"Carlisle's family? You know them?" He asked, surprised. Of course; he would have been here the just under 362 years ago when Carlisle briefly stayed with Aro, Cauis, and Marcus.

"Yes; they lived in my town in Washington." He looked at me, still somewhat confused.

"What connection did you have with them?" Great. The hard question.

"Five of them, who called themselves the children of Carlisle and Esme Cullen, went to my school. The second oldest vampire in the family, Edward, was in my biology class."

"Did you know what they were?!"

"Yes, well, no, not at first. I started picking up hints, though. My blood was especially..._appealing_ to Edward. The first day of class I noticed his eyes were coal black and that he stared daggers at me all of class; he was out of the room the second the bell went off. I heard him begging with the secretary after the school to switch out of our biology class into another class, _any _other class. There were no spots, and when he saw me at the office he tensed again, and sprinted out of the office glaring at me. I didn't see him again for a week. I wondered what I could have possibly done to make him hate me so much.

He came back a week later and was very polite to me; he said 'you must be Bella', and smiled. I was confused, because I knew that everyone in the school would have heard me called _Isabella_, not Bella. When I pointed that out, he seemed to get nervous or something. That same day we also bumped hands while putting slides in the microscope, and I realized how cold his pale hands were.

His eyes were a golden brown that day, not the coal black it had been the week before. I asked him if he got contacts, and he seemed surprised by my question, not realizing until after I explained myself his mistake.

I slowly picked up on more things, like that they never seemed to eat, or how they always missed school on sunny days.

It was an icy day when I really noticed something was different about him. A car swerved into the parking lot, nearly slamming me into my truck—I almost died. However, Edward instantly appeared from across the parking lot and was lifting the van off of me. I saw a dent left in the vehicle in the shape of his body, as well as in my truck. When I questioned Carlisle in the hospital, it seemed like he and his son were sharing some kind of secret.

I was at a party in La Push when I truly learned what they were..." I continued onto to tell about Jacob and my conversation, deciding I was okay with him being a vampire, Edward saving me in Port Angeles, and me telling him I knew what he was. Alec stared at me in shock.

"They let a human know what they were?!" Was his first exclamation.

"How _could _they! Think of how much trouble that could have caused! What if they do it again..." he trailed off.

"Alec! _Please_. I only knew what they were because I observed them so closely. No other human seemed to be as comfortable around them as I was. It was Jake's fault that the secret was told... _but Jacob didn't know better! _I mean, he knew he wasn't supposed to say anything, but he didn't think the legends were actually _true_. I was the only one who knew and I didn't tell a single soul. And, as you see, I'm a vampire now, so it's not like any humans are going to know." I explained quickly in a slur, not wanting to get either the Cullen's _or _Jake in trouble.

"Well, what happened next, and how does Laurent come into this?" He questioned.

"Edward and I became really close. He was my boyfriend, actually, although it seemed as though we were more than just simple boyfriend and girlfriend, but rather each other's _fate_..." I stopped myself, not wanting to go into details like _that_ with Alec. Besides, it was making the hole inside me hurt even more. "At my eighteenth birthday, I got a paper cut from opening one of my gifts. When I went to examine it, Jasper nearly attacked me. On impulse, Edward threw me across the room, shattering me onto the glass table. My arms were covered in glass and blood, and I had a roomful of blood-frenzied vampires after me. Carlisle kept in calm, and was able to fix me up. However, Edward said it really made him think about a few things. He said I was no good for him, that he really didn't love me. He told me his family was leaving, and that he didn't want me to come with him. Then he left, I didn't even get to say goodbye. I couldn't tell my best friend, his sister Alice, goodbye. Or to my 'big brother' figure Emmett. I couldn't even tell Jasper I forgive him. They all just left, just like that." I concluded, on the verge of dry sobbing again.

"What a jerk! What happened then?!" Alec asked, clearly interested in my story.

"I refused to eat, talk, sleep...anything. I was horrible the first two weeks. Then my dad, Charlie, threatened to send me off to Phoenix with my mother. I refused angrily, and suddenly was brought out of my numbness. I was still broken—only answering when spoken to, screaming in my sleep, separating myself from everyone, barely eating...my dad was so scared for me. I tried to hide how depressed I was, but it barely worked.

I became friends with a boy named Jake from La Push, the one who first told me what the Cullen's were. He was an old family friend, and he was able to keep me in one piece. I was a lot happier, and my dad wasn't so worried about me. Jake wanted more than friendship, though, and I couldn't give it to him. After Edward, I was broken—incapable of loving someone like that again. I think he must have thought I led him on, or just got tired of hanging around with such a broken girl, because he stopped hanging out with me and taking my phone calls. He avoided me at all costs. It was a long two weeks before I finally decided I wasn't going to just sit around and be depressed any longer. I wanted to find the Cullens again, to get answers as to why Edward left me, to say my last goodbyes, and finally get closure. I knew the only way I could find them again was by becoming a vampire.

I knew there was a coven in Alaska of vampires who were friends with the Cullens, but I didn't think they'd change me so I could go...'stock' the Cullens. I knew a vampire named Laurent had gone to live with them, though, and I thought he may be more likely to change me." I informed Alec. Then he interrupted with a question that I knew was coming.

"How did you meet Laurent?"

"I had been watching the Cullens play baseball one day during a thunderstorm. Laurent, James, and Victoria—his previous coven—came up to us and asked to play. When James realized I was a human, and that Edward would protect me no matter what, he thought it would be a fun game to track me down and kill me. Which, that's what he pretty much did with his life—he tracked humans that vampires were fond of and killed them.

The Cullens split up to protect my dad, track their coven, and keep me safe. James still found me, though, and tricked me into meeting him alone by saying he had my mother." I then continued explaining in more detail the event, the home videos, the phone calls, how James had planned on torturing me to death...then how Edward busted in and his family killed James, and Edward sucked the venom out of the place where James bit me." Alec stared at me, stunned. Then, of course, he recovered and had more questioned.

"_Why _would you look for Laurent when his coven tried to kill you?!"

"He left his coven when he heard what they were planning. He wanted to try the vegetarian life in Alaska; the Cullens had mentioned them. I knew that he would be more likely than the others in the Denali coven to change me." I concluded, finished my story.

"So you went to Alaska, found Laurent, convinced him to bite you...then you were taken to Alaska and near forced to join us here in the guard?" Alec verified.

"Yup, that's pretty much my story. Nothing real interesting." I joked, trying to lighten the conversation.

"How did the Cullens know you had an ability?" He questioned.

'_Does he ever stop?!'_ I thought, exasperated. "Edward can read minds, everyone's mind....all except mine. They had a theory that it might be some sort of an ability, but that was only one of many theories they had. Apparently, they were right."

"The Cullen boy can read minds?! We must tell the Trio!" he exclaimed.

"NO!" I practically yelled.

"Oh, you're right... sorry." He mumbled, realizing _I _of all people, wouldn't want the boy who dumped me joining me here for eternity.

"It's just...I don't think he'd want to join. I wouldn't want him to be forced. If he wanted to join, he'd come on his own."

"Oh, yeah, okay..." he said, trying to change the subject; he realized how uncomfortable the conversation was making me.

"Woah! It's almost nine! Ready to go?" he asked, smiling.

"Sure." And then we left, off for his room.

--+--

"Hey Bella, ready to go?" Heidi asked me, smiling, standing in Alec's doorway.

"Sure, I was losing anyways." I replied, saying goodbye to Corin, Alec, and Demetri. I noticed Heidi give Corin an alluring smile before giving him a kiss goodbye. Alec and Demetri had big grins plastered on their faces, whispering to each other. It felt like déjà vu; briefly reminding me of when Quil and Embry had found me with Jake in his garage.

"How was cards?" Heidi asked. I had been playing for three hours, and the guys were constantly teasing me for my lack of skill. Alec didn't mention anything about our conversation, and for that I was glad. He said it would just stay between me and him.

We played_ 'cheat_'_, 'go fish_'_, _and '_president_'. Apparently I was going to learn poker soon. Corin really was as good as professed, and Demetri and Alec got overly competitive trying to beat him. Alec actually tried to cut off Corin's senses to give him and Demetri the upper hand, but it ended up in some growling and play fighting. It was hard not to laugh...until they all came after me. I had no chance of escaping, but surprisingly I learned I could expand my physical shield further outwards from myself, thus keeping them further away from me. Unfortunately, after five or so punches they'd break through my shield and I'd feel the pain before my shield melted back and patched itself.

"It was a lot of fun, actually. You should come next time," I smiled.

"Well, actually, Cauis and I were hanging out..." she started suggestively. _Isn't he married?_ I questioned myself. Well, I guess to some people, marriage isn't enough, especially after centuries...

"So, where is this shopping mall?" I questioned. We had been walking through pathways across the city, enjoying being able to walk outside of the tunnels.

"Just a bit further, not too long." She smiled, taking my hand as we began to run. The sensation of the wind ripping through my hair was amazing. There's plenty of room to run in the Volturi building beneath the clock tower, but nothing compares to the great outdoors.

We reached the mall then, and then Heidi gave me a big smile before jumping up to one of the large windows. She pushed her sharp granite fingernails around the outsides of the window, and then managed to pull the glass out before it shattered on the floor. She then jumped into the room, climbing on the walls and avoiding the motion detection on the floor, to dismantle the alarm. I stared, astounded.

She noticed my stunned expression, and giggled as she ran over to me, dragging me through the window into the dark building. It was dark, but we were used that. Darkness doesn't matter when your senses are heightened like this.

She ran through the mall, pointing out all her favourite stores. She was picking up clothes left, right, and centre. I had piles of black coloured clothing to try on, as did she.

Most of the clothes were Heidi's style: tight, form-fitting, and very sexy. Not my style. However, she's very good at convincing people to do what she wants.

"Please Bella! It would look _so_ good on you! _Please _Bella? _Please_? For _me_?!" she begged, pouting her bottom lip out.

"No! Heidi, _no_. It's not my style. I'm more of a t-shirt, track pants kind of girl...not _this_..."

"Looks like time for change to me! Come _on_, it's not like it's going to hurt you!" she continued pleading like this, and I eventually caved. I had more clothes than in my entire closet in Forks. Then I was told it was time to look for _Paris_ clothes. Heidi wanted some more _hunting_ clothes, too. Although to me, her usual attire didn't differ much from her hunting clothes...

Luckily, she finally gave in and chose less revealing, more _me _clothes. It was fun, even if it was shopping. I think I was just so happy to get out and forget all about everything.

I was looking forwards to Paris, as was everyone else. Apparently their outings are looked forwards to all year. They usually go on trips monthly, depending on the problems that are going on in the vampire world.

Heidi insisted on getting my hair done, which I vehemently rejected. Not just because I didn't want my hair cut, but also because Heidi would be the one doing it.

Unfortunately, my will power wasn't as strong as hers, and soon enough she had me in one of the mall's haircutting salons. She seemed to know what to do, though.

"Do you cut hair often?" I question, surprised.

"Yeah. I actually worked in a hair salon before I was changed. I guess you could just say it's stuck with me." Why didn't she tell me this when she was trying to convince me to get my hair done? I would've been a lot less worried.

I was stunned at the finished product. My brown hair was cut into many layers, ranging from the end of my back to above my ears. It was ragged and teased, and looked surprisingly sexy. Even on me. It was a bit lighter than before, and had more volume and texture to it. I thanked Heidi happily, and was getting up to leave when she startled me by pushing me down again.

She told me it was _makeup_ time. _That_ was a definite _no_. I don't bother to wear it, so why put it on now when it would just come off soon enough? Unfortunately, there's no rejecting Heidi.

She quickly did my whole face, and it surprisingly looked even _better_ than when Alice used to do it. _Is that even possible?_ I guess it comes with centuries of practice.

She grabbed a pile of makeup for me, shampoo, clothes, jewellery, shoes, more clothes, hair products (including elastic bands!), some room decorations... I had no idea how we were going to carry it all. That's when she rolled me a cart and squealed, 'race you back!'.

It was one wild ride back. And one awesome night.

**Part 2: Victoria's POV**

I've been circling La Push and Forks for ages, but those _dogs_ keep blocking all ways in. I've managed to get in a few times without their knowing, but Bella's scent isn't very strong or recent. She must have left. _Where, though_?

I decided it didn't matter. If I killed her father, she'd come back to avenge him. She'd probably even bring the whole Cullen crew along with her. And I'd take them down, one by one...

I'm making an army. A _large_ army. Riley was my first addition; I was surprised I was able to stop the bloodlust. That's why I had a second human in the room for: to know I could still quench my thirst when I had to stop with the boy, Riley.

I've told him I _love _him; that he's my mate. Truthfully, his hopes of us together disgust me. I may be pretending to have feelings for him, but that does _not_ mean I do. I will _never_ love anyone but my James.

_James, where are you? I'm sorry. I should've just come with you, I shouldn't have listened to you. We never should have split up. I'd have fought for you; I'd do anything to keep you alive. Why couldn't it have been my life instead of yours? I'm nothing without you, baby. I'll _crush _them for what they did to you! When I'm done with the girl, she'll be writhing in pain. Then I'll pick the Cullens off one by one...but tell them to leave Edward. He's the real reason you're dead, and I'll make him suffer in pity for the rest of his eternal life! I'll make him suffer in anguish and pain! He'll be tormented every day of his existence once his precious human is destroyed, and then he'll come after to me! If I kill him, he'll get his jus deserts, if he wins...he'll still have to suffer every single day...and I'll get to join you._

_Oh James... I miss you _so _much._

I don't understand the note I found carved into the floor in the girl's room.

_"Dear Jessica, I can't handle life without him. It's too hard. Nothing matters anymore. I know I can't change his mind, but I feel that I have to see him again. One last goodbye. I can't stay here in Forks any longer. I know I'm not good enough for him, I know he doesn't want to see me again, but I'll try to just see him from a distance. Hopefully, I'll see you again, too. I love you all so, so much, and always will. I'm sorry that I can't just stop loving you all; believe me, I've tried. I know I'm not welcome anymore, so I'll try very hard to not bother any of you in the slightest way. All my eternal, never ending, unbreakable love, Bella."_

Who's this _Jessica_, and why would Bella carve her a note in the floor, stained in her own blood? What is she talking about changing his mind and one last goodbye?

I've tried to decode the message, but it makes no sense any way I look at it. It shouldn't matter, though, because she'll come no matter what to save her _precious_ father. That clairvoyant girl, the pixie one...._she _should see this happen. She'll let the little human know.

Oh what fun I shall have when I finally have her within my arms reach...

The newborn army is growing rapidly, although I have no idea how to control them! I learned about them in the South_, _and I knew _that_ was my ticket to revenge.

I couldn't stay there long though; _Edward_ was tracking me. He was horrible at it too! I couldn't sense his coven around, but he was probably hiding his precious human away with them when he was after me. Think of the surprise he'll have when I kill his beloved mortal!

Not much longer now...

* * *

**mauah ha ha!**

**victoria's back guys!! isnt that exciting? i think so!! :) lol. ohh! go to .com & listen to 'victoria's lament' by _the bella cullen project_. It, like the rest of their songs, is amazing! (and relatable to this chapter. lol)**

**i'll update asap, as per usual. (:**

**review guys, pleaseeee! comments, questions, ideas, suggestions, constructive criticism....whatever...just review. :)**

**NOTE: if you have any ideas for a better/more interesting story summary/description than "**Edward left Bella, hurting and broken. She has turned to Jacob for comfort, but he's been avoiding her for the past two weeks. Hurt more than ever, she makes a plan to get answers, a plan to finally get closure...a plan where she becomes a vampire**." please let me know!**

**This button is the one you want to press =] ....please? haha. happy '09!**


	18. Letters

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to **_**change**_** her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. In the last chapter the Volturi confronted Bella after she ran away during their feast. Chelsea becomes her mentor, and Aro finds out the real reasons for her being her. They recently cleared up an incident in Hong Kong, and Tanya attempted to get Edward back (to no avail). In the last chapter, Bella has a long conversation with Alec about her past, goes on a shopping adventure with Heidi, and Victoria shares us her most thoughts...**

* * *

**CHAPTER Eighteen**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

The next day week with the Volturi was rather uneventful. We continued training each afternoon, and I actually was able to pin Alec twice! I had to make him swear not to go easy on me before we did fight, though (he kept not listening!) and after I won I had to make sure I _truthfully_ won. It turns out I did! Alec has started training more strenuously, however. He's determined that I'll never pin him again. _Well, we'll just see about that_. He doesn't know, but I've actually been doing some intense training of my own. Heidi has been helping me fight, and Renata has decided she wants to be able to do more than just being a physical repellent. She feels inadequate to others because she thinks it's all she's good for. Thus, we've been training regularly every morning.

At night I typically just play cards with the guys, although I have gone out with Aro, Cauis, and Marcus a few times. I've learned I'm surprisingly good at sketching. I wasn't overly good at in my human life, but I suppose I was better at it than most other things (like _sports_). I seem to have taken exceptionally well to immortality; I am no longer slow, weak, klutzy, plain... I'm everything I could never be as a human.

Aro and Cauis have both been helping me with my sketching. I was surprised Cauis wanted to help; he didn't come off as the friendly, helpful type, but I shouldn't have misjudged him like that. They are all very artistic, which I assume comes with centuries of practice. They want to teach me to plan an instrument—Aro plays piano and sax, Cauis plays baritone and acoustic. They play other instruments as well, but those are their favourites.

I much prefer drawing. My memory is photographic now, and I continue to repeat all my human memories so I will never forget them. I've started sketching them—my old home in Phoenix, Renee's proud smile at my graduation into high school, Renee and Phil on their wedding day, Billy Black, Rachel, Rebecca, Jake, and Charlie fishing back on the reserve, Charlie's embarrassed expression as he told me he bought me my truck....

I spent hours and hours sketching. The Cullens always seemed to end up in most of my pictures, followed by a few of Jacob when he was trying to keep me from falling into pieces. Life was always easier when he was around. _How I wish life was simple again, without monsters, beasts, mythical creatures, or heartbreak..._

Chelsea loved all the outfits Heidi and I picked up from the mall. They'd fuss over my hair and makeup for hours, although I personally thought it was pointless since the only people I see are those I work with...my new family. It's difficult to grasp that that's what they are..._family_. It feels different...like a community rather than a family. Like when I worked at camp back in Phoenix and got acquainted with all the staff—young and old—and that my _family _for the summer. Of course, it was nothing like my actual family. It was like a community; a group of people to always catch you when you fall, to share your laughs and tears with, to have fun with and share your life with. A _community_. Tight-knit, personal, loving—a place where I belong—but nothing near a family. The best I'll ever have in this new life, though.

Chelsea has given me some envelopes and stamps to send letters to my family a few days ago. I had been talking about how I how promised Charlie I would write him, and I how hadn't even spoken to Renee or Jacob. Although, I did talk on the phone with Jake for the minute before Charlie came on the phone. It's not enough, though. I need to talk to them. I wrote them these letters, and mailed them a few days ago.

_Dear Charlie,_

_I love you so, so much. I hope all is well in Forks. Are you and Billy having lots of fun? And Harry too? I really hope so!_

_Things are going great here. I'm out of the country, I can tell you that much. I have a very nice, higher-end job. It's to do with the government though, which is why I can't tell you anything. Extreme security reasons. I really wish I could see you and show you everything, but it's just not allowed. The most I can do is right you, but get no letters back. Perhaps later I'll find an address safe for you to message me at, but not yet._

_My friend Heidi took me on a shopping spree the other day, and my other friend Chelsea is going to help Heidi with redecorating my room. She's like a mother figure to me; she's really nice. Heidi is nice too, very outgoing and into fashion. I have another friend named Alec, and I share pretty much everything with him. He's a mixture between my best friend and a little brother type figure. Although, I'm probably as much of a little sister to him as he is a little sister to me. He looks really young for his age. Aro has been teaching me lots about art in our free time, and I've started drawing. I drew you a picture of us fishing on the lake with the Black's when we were younger....I still remember it clearly. I hope you like it. Cauis, another friend, was giving me tips on sketching._

_That's pretty much all that's new, dad. I was in China the other day on business... it's beautiful there! You should go sometime._

_Well, I hope this finds you well. I love you so, so much and am very sorry I had to leave so abruptly. I feel I am close to getting the closure I so desire, and being able to live a normal...or almost normal...life._

_Love you forever, Bella._

That letter was the hardest to write of the three. Although I've spent little time with Charlie compared to Renee, he has made such an impact on my life. In all my existence, I vow to never forget him. I couldn't, even if I tried.

_Dear Renee,_

_I suppose Charlie already told you about my leaving. I asked him to tell you I love you, which is so, so true mom. I love you so much— there's no words adequate to describe how much! I will love you eternally, even though I did have to leave. I needed to find out who I am in life, and this was the best way. Nonetheless, a man named Eleazer has helped me get a very high rate job with amazing job security and bonuses. You'd be proud. It concerns the government, so I'm afraid I cannot tell you what I do or where I am, but I can tell you I am safe and happier than I've been in a while. Please understand my need to leave._

_Love always, Bella._

That letter was hard, but not _as_ hard to write as Charlie's. I know she has Phil, and that he'll always make her happy. Charlie was just...so _happy_ to have me stay with him. He loved me so much, and he needed me...and I left him. I can't even forget him.

_Dear Jacob,_

_Hey! How's it going? I hope it's okay. I miss you so much, even if you don't miss me. Thank you for keeping me together when I couldn't. I'll never forget that._

_Your best friend forever and for always, Bella._

I wanted to say so much more for Jake's letter, but he was the one who started avoiding me. It's best I left it was short and sweet as I did. I miss him like crazy. I could really handle my personal sun again.

--+--

Jane continues to glare at me and constantly make me feel unwelcome wherever I go. I really don't notice anymore though—it wouldn't be Jane if she wasn't glaring at me. Alec has tried to explain her hostility to me, and I understand how hard it must be for me to come here and suddenly '_take over_' as she sees it.

My ability overpowers hers (or so she thinks). Aro, Cauis, and Marcus put much more attention into me than her, especially Aro; she was sort of his 'teacher's pet' before I came along, and now her relationship to him is nothing like that. She's just another member of the guard—important, crucial, a core component—but not the most valuable. Not the most intimidating.

Personally, I'd rather Aro _not_ pay attention to me. I've learned he's nothing but power hungry man who's allegiances alter easily on how it would best benefit him. All he cares about is himself. I suppose I understand; power really goes to your head when you have it. I can't help but pity him (although if I wasn't hiding that from him in my thoughts—which I've learned how to do since I can use his power—he wouldn't be too happy about it.)

I looked into the mirror the other day and was happily surprised to see my bright, incandescent red eyes have dimmed slightly to a darker scarlet. I can't be sure, even with my exquisite vampire vision, but I swear I saw the smallest fleck of orange in one eye. I asked Aro if he knew how long it would take for my eyes to change from this bright crimson to the beautiful topaz color I love so much. Aro told me it should start changing as my original blood leave my body, thus when I begin to lose my newborn strength. That would mean roughly a year.

Some would be upset to lose their newborn strength, but for the matter of my eye color, I am much more than ecstatic for it. I actually tried to redraw a mirror image of myself onto paper, and absentmindedly coloured my eyes topaz instead of red. I stuck it to my mirror as a reminder; a reminder of _who_ I am. What I _want_ to be. I suppose you could compare it to a girl hanging up pictures of beautiful, skinny woman to remind themselves not to overeat while dieting.

Although I refrain from my 'natural' food source and drink animal blood, it doesn't mean I don't constantly feel the need for something more. It's always nagging at me in the back of my head, _just once won't be that bad_, _what if the persons already dying_, _you could ransack a blood clinic_.....

However, no matter how tempting these thoughts are, I know I _have_ to stay away from human blood. I will never be anything but a _golden eye_ (my own personal name for the few 'vegetarian' vampires worldwide).

Paris is still on for next week, and I am thrilled for that. Demetri even went as far as to tell me these trips are the _epitome_ of the Volturi. I had to laugh at that; you'd think keeping the rules would be the _epitome_.

I've heard a few different people mention a newborn army being created in the west. Apparently, it hasn't gotten too bad yet, but we may have to step in. I would've asked for more information, but there's constantly talk about _problems here_ and _problems there _that I only pay real attention if they become urgent.

Felix really hopes that the newborn army will grow very big and out of control—he'd do anything for a fight. I had to punch him when he made that comment though. If it weren't for my newborn strength, I bet it would have hurt me more than him.

Chelsea has been insisting on decorating my room for awhile now, and Heidi eagerly agrees as well. They've been discussing paint colors and decor all the time with each other—it's not really my cup of tea. I asked for something bright, though—to take my mind off my dreary thoughts. Personally, I'd probably prefer a topaz or midnight blue themed room, but that wouldn't help the pain inside me any.

Felix, Demetri, Corin, Alec, and Afton have agreed to pain and do anything other heavy lifting or hard labour. They got told off for that though; the girls are more than capable of hard labour all on their own. It would make the process easier and quicker, though, which is the only reason they agreed.

Heidi saw me staring at my picture of the Cullens one day, and after telling her my whole story, she decided she wanted to have it enlarged and framed (much to my dismay). I convinced her not to, luckily. I explained how it would be even harder having to get up and look at their faces every day. She reluctantly agreed, but I think she's still itching to hang it up—it's the only real photograph I have.

They finally decided that they would frame my sketches, instead, but I refused. I'm not good enough yet to actually hang up the pictures; I still need more practice. Besides, some of the memories are better off closed away in my sketch book.

At least redecorating takes the tedium away from empty days and eases the burning hole inside me.

**Part 2: Alice's POV**

"Jasper! Did you read the news today?" I questioned him. Recently there has been many reported deaths in Seattle. The police feared gang activity, but soon they realized it must be a serial killer. Now they think there must be multiple serial killers.

I watched the news carefully every day. It's recently become clear that it is _not_ human activity that's causing these deaths in Seattle. It has to be one of _us_.

Jasper believes that because of how poorly they've done at disguising themselves from the humans, and because of the vast majority of deaths that it must be multiple vampires. And newborn vampires, at that. They also clearly seem to have never heard of the Volturi, or at least pay no heed to the rules. He decided it must be a newborn army; an inexperienced one at that. He would know. The question is _why_. There's no other covens to fight in that area, so who would need an army.

"Yeah. It's only getting worse with each day." Jasper sighed, clearly just as upset as I with the problems in the west.

"Are you _sure_ we should just leave Bella there, Jasper? She's so close to Seattle! She's in so much danger! Should we really just ignore her?!" I questioned my husband. We've already had this discussion many times before. I beg to help Bella out, but to no avail.

"Edward said to leave her alone. We promised him. Not to mention, he would know about the news as well as us; if he thought it was a danger to her, he'd contact us." Jasper said authoritatively. He was right, naturally. We promised Edward to stay away from her, and I promised not to look for her future. Edward believes that it's all for the best, but I believe otherwise. It's _killing_ him without her, and that says a lot considering he's already dead.

He longs for her, _needs_ her...he can't survive without her. He wants her to have a chance at a normal life, to not always have her safety at risk, to keep her soul... but he was the one who always would say '_you wouldn't catch be betting against Alice_'. And it's so true! She can't get by without him; he's destroying her life just as well as his by doing this. And he won't listen. Not to me, to Carlisle, to Esme, to Jasper, to Emmett, to Rosalie...not to anyone. He won't even answer his phone anymore. I miss my brother _so _bad, not to mention how much I also miss my best friend...

How could he do this to _me_...to _us_...to_ himself_...to _her_?!

**Part 3: Victoria's POV**

These mutts are so stupid! I've crossed into their city numerous times but they're always ten steps behind me. It's laughable, really. I bet I could walk into any of their houses and leave without any one even catching me.

Riley has continued to get more annoying with every day. At least I know he believes my crap about having feelings for him. That's the biggest lie I've ever told...the only man I'll ever love for the rest of my existence is James. Riley is just a simple tool in my plan for revenge.

We've gotten more newborns recently, but they're just frustrating! They constantly fight with each other and often kill their coven members—which is beyond frustrating, as I have to keep making replacements. I've told them _not _to do it, but they're too young and immature to really understand. I've told them the rules and about the Volturi, not that a single one of them has paid any attention to not getting noticed. I swear one of them kills a human in the middle of the street at least once a week. The damage control is unbelievable.

I definitely don't want the Volturi being brought into this, so I have to be as subtle as I can. I plan on bringing my army and attacking Forks to get the human's father from his home next Saturday. They _dogs_ have been paying extra attention to me lately, and I know I couldn't make it carrying a human safely out of there without the pack noticing. I need him alive to use him as bait, or a hostage, whatever you want to call it.

I've been trying to change my mind often about my exact decisions, as I expect their little psychic is watching me. I can only wonder how naive they could be to leave the human's frail father alone, unprotected.

The army has twenty one vampires so far. That should be enough to fight themutts and the human girl's coven. I don't care if the father lives or dies. I don't care if I live or die either...so long as I murder the girl first. That's all that matters anymore.

Saturday, the fight begins. Six more days until revenge is mine.

**Part 4: Jacob's POV**

The red head is still prancing outside the city lines. We all know she's come in and entered before, leaving the parameters alive and well. It's so bloody frustrating! _What_ could she want? The Cullens are gone, so there's no more vampires around for to want to fight, or find, or whatever it is she wants

She's scheming something; that much is obvious. By now she's explored all over Forks, _and _La Push. She's looking for something, or wants something...but we have no clue _what_.

We think she's looking for a hole in the pack, a way to get around us. That must be why she's come in and gone before; to test us, see our ability. She must want to use this area to feed freely, it's the best explanation. Although why wouldn't she just stick to Forks at least?

If she's looking to see our ability, well...we aren't that skilled yet, though. Especially with all the new additions we've been getting. I don't know _why_ so many boys on the reserve have been turning into werewolves like us when there are no vampires around but the redhead. It _doesn't make sense_. Nothing adds up. Hopefully we can train everyone well, though, and surprise her. We all want to kill her _so bad_!

I got a letter from Bella in the mail the other day. Ever since I left her nearly a month ago, I've missed her so much. Intensely missed her. I feel like I can't function without her. Sometimes I wonder if that's how she felt when the blood sucker left her, but I couldn't think about that. Anything to do with that...that..._parasite_ instantly makes me furious. She's gone who-knows-where, changed into a vampire...virtually _dead_, all because of _him_. The bloody leech! If I ever get my jaws on him...

Bella's letter was very short. You could barely even call it a paragraph. She told me she misses me so much, even if I don't miss her. But how could she _think_ that? Of course I miss her! She's my whole world! The only reason I had been avoiding her was because of _Sam_. It's _his_ fault too that she's dead now.

But I guess it's also my fault, too, because I had the power to override him—and didn't. A decision that cost her her life.

She thanks me for keeping her together and said she'll never forget that. I wish so badly I could see her again! I don't even care if she's a leech herself! I just _need_ her. I don't even care if all she wants to be is friends...I'd gladly take _anything_ to living without her. Even if she is a vampire.

Charlie's letter was more detailed, but it made no sense to me. It did sound like she was not living with the Cullens, which made me amazingly happy. She told him that she can't say where she is or what she's doing, just that she loves him. I can't help but wonder what she's doing now, without the Cullens, without her family, away from home. _Who are these people she's staying with?!_

I had so many questions about her letter, I don't even know where to begin. I've read it over so many times I've memorized it.

What hurts me the most, though, of all the things she sent is the sketch attached to Charlie's letter. Of her family, of my family. Charlie, Billy, Rachel, Rebecca, Me, and her. Together, fishing. I don't know how she could remember that; I know I remember it, but it always seemed as though I paid much more attention to her than she ever did to me. Maybe I was wrong?

I photocopied the picture, nonetheless, and take it with me everywhere. I'll always love her; Bella Swan. Alive, dead, human, leech...nothing can change how I feel about her.

* * *

**So, someone wanted Jacob's POV, and another person was wondering if Bella was going to contact Charlie again like she promised. So, thus, both happened! (:**

**i hope you liked this chapter! ill update soon**

**pleaseeee review! i read them all and smile :) i loveeee all your input, and that you (or at least some of you, im not sure if all) take the time to read my A/N's. So yeah, any comments or questions or anything at all, just let me know!! I'd love to hear it =]**


	19. Paris

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Ps.. I keep wanting to call humans 'muggles'...it gets annoying when I keep writing the wrong thing!!**

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to **_**change**_** her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. Bella has a long conversation with Alec about her past, goes on a shopping adventure with Heidi, and Victoria shares with us her most recent thoughts. Previously, Bella told us about her past week with the Volturi, Alice mentions her thoughts on the newborn army, Jake mentions the redhead, and then Victoria herself talks again. She tells us the fight is Saturday. Will the Volturi be there? And if they do go.... what will happen between werewolf Jake and vampire Bella?!**

* * *

**CHAPTER Nineteen**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

Today is Wednesday—we arrived in Paris yesterday. Heidi helped me pack; I swear she made me bring my whole wardrobe (minus the many cloaks). The only thing I _really_ wanted to pack was my sketchbook and a collection of fine art pencils Cauis had given me. My sketchbook has a black cover and 250 sheets. I've drawn on at least the first fifty, all pictures of my family. It's amazing how much time you have when you don't sleep. I even bring it when I play cards with Alec, Demetri, and Corin. I drew a picture of them where they were all deeply concentrating on the game, leading forwards, eyes locked on the cars. It was hilarious the intensity it had. When I showed them the picture, they made me draw each of them a picture for themselves to keep. They kept telling me how amazing it is, but I swear they're just trying to make me feel good—accomplished. Sure, I can draw a picture so that it looks like a black and white of a photograph, but it's just not detailed enough. The features are so hard to clearly define when there are so many... I'm trying to work on it, but it takes a lot of effort. I catch myself drawing in my head imaginarily sometimes. It helps keep my mind off of _them_.

We're leaving Paris Thursday at midnight. Thus, I still have nearly two days left. We arrived at daybreak yesterday morning, and we stayed at a large, extravagant building owned by a small three-person clan. The clan members were all changed over two centuries ago, and have yet to find mates. The girl, Jacqueline, was bitten by a vampire named Justin. However, his friend Caleb was thirsty, and extremely attracted to her blood. The two men began to fight each other for her blood, and Caleb killed Justin. Unfortunately for Caleb, her blood was stale by the time he got to her. Three days later, Caleb she became conscious as a vampire, the only instruction being a note Caleb left behind. He explained what happened, what she was becoming, and the rules. That was the only information she had for the start of her new life.

Jacqueline didn't know what to do, so she went looking for her brothers. All three had been near inseparable since their parents died in a car crash two years previous. They considered themselves her 'protectors', and she knew they'd be terribly worried about where she was.

She tried to calmly tell her brothers, Auguste and Pierre, what happened and what she was now. The burn became too strong, however, and she bit Pierre. Auguste jumped after her, trying to get her off of their brother. She turned on him and bit him as well; but she then heard Auguste's screams and realized what she had done. She ran away from them and fed, returning to wait out with the remainder of their transformation. They have been by each other's sides ever since.

They met the Volturi not long after that. They walked out in the sunlight, and the Volturi happened to be in Paris on a leisurely trip. Instantly they brought the clan into the shade and questioned them on what they were doing. A vampire stepping out into the sun like that in front of humans could mean death.

However, they explained what happened and how Caleb had never mentioned in the note vampire's '_sparkle_' in the sun. Aro read their mind to make sure they were truthful, which they were. They asked for the note, and Demetri tracked Caleb down, before they obliterated him. The Volturi have stayed in relatively close contact with the Rousseau clan; Jacqueline, Auguste, and Pierre.

Jacqueline is a very nice girl; I enjoy talking to her. Her best friend on the guard is Jane. They're always together. I assumed Jacqueline would begin to hate me after spending so much time with Jane. I was very surprised, then, when Jacqueline got Jane to say 'hi' to me and give me a forced smile. I haven't been getting as many glares since then. I have to thank Jacqueline for later.

Auguste is amazing at art! I suppose after being in Paris for centuries you should learn some skill, but it's really remarkable. He had planned on being a painted when he was a human, and the skill has only been intensified since his transformation. He even showed me which paintings were his in the art museums, although he has to change his artists name every few decades.

I much prefer sketching then painting, although he has encouraged me to change from using pencils to pencil crayons. It was difficult at first, and I didn't like the way it looked, but I've started to get used to it. I've learned so much color theory and art tips in the past day that I swear I could recite an hour long lecture on it.

Pierre is a musician rather than an artist, and plays a wide array of instruments—baritone, trumpet, French horn, tenor sax, bassoon, even flute! It's remarkable. He has played in many of the French orchestras, although he can't ever make it big or else he draws too much attention to himself.

He has the most restraint out of his clan for not attacking humans; he needs it for performing. They're all red eyes, not vegetarians like me. They are surprisingly civil, though. After James the...the _Cullens_ made it sound like all non-vegetarian vampires were loutish.

Jacqueline is a _danseuse_; a dancer. She prefers to perform solo, because it requires less restraint. She has been very famous when she decides to perform—you can imagine how brilliant a vampiric dancer would be when we're already so graceful. It's absolutely _astounding_.

You would _never_ guess it, but Jane dances too. Not quite as agilely, but it's still completely eye-catching. She glares at anyone who watches her, however. I only know because I may have been somewhat sneaking into Jacqueline's thoughts... but, still, it's beautiful.

I drew a picture of them both dancing together from an image in Jacqueline's mind—I couldn't help myself; it was too beautiful not to draw. The way their bodies curve and bend and move so peacefully...it's an art I'll never be able to do. I may be graceful now, but I'm pretty sure people who were as klutzy as me in their human life should _not_ be trying ballet.

This morning was rainy, luckily (_who ever would've thought rain and cloudy days would make me happy!_), so we got to see some outdoor art exhibits. Alec and I were laughing at a lot of the paintings and sculptures; it's amazing what some people can define as art.

Heidi was more interested in the gift stores than anything, and Corin followed her around like a lost puppy dog. I felt sorry for him, really.

Felix was with Alec and I laughing at the artwork, which Demetri wasn't overly happy with. He informed us that _all _art should be equally respected. We could barely keep in our laughter as we waited for him to walk away. He went to find some more _artistic minded_ people, as he called it.

Aro brought his wife Sulpicia, as well as her older cousin Athenodora, who is Cauis' wife. They haven't been able to take their eyes of each other for this whole trip. Santiago brought his wife Eskin, whom he met after joining the guard. She's very sweet, with long black hair and full lips, but she has no special abilities. She supports Santiago in being in the guard, although it is understood he may leave sometime soon to be with her. This fact does not overly upset Aro, because Santiago has no special abilities himself. Aro would rather powerful vampires than otherwise.

Sulpicia and Athenodora don't communicate with the guard unless absolutely necessary. If you ask me, they're too full of themselves, but then again, their husbands are like royalty, so it makes sense.

Chelsea and Afton talk to me when they get the chance, but this is the closest they really get to a 'romantic getaway', so I understand their need for time for themselves. It hurts seeing them so close, so _loving_....but I try not to think of it.

Marcus follows along with Aro, Cauis, and their wives, although I've only heard him say a couple of sentences, tops. I feel sorry for him.

Renata is all over Pierre, and him with her, so at least she's having a good time. She hasn't talked about any romantic interests thus far back in Volterra, so I hope they could get together. Although I'm sure Aro wouldn't like that. Maybe she _does_ really like him, but Aro won't let them be together. I could believe that. _He's so power hungry!_ I might just have to nonchalantly read his mind later to find that out.

**Part 2: Jake's POV**

The redhead is definitely planning something. She hasn't been around here at all in the last few days, but we all _know_ she's not gone for good. What could she be planning?

Charlie has started questioning the government about Bella, but they have no records of her placement. She did say she couldn't say due to secrecy reasons, and I've tried to comfort Charlie by telling him that. I know she's not in any government thing. Our government would never let a bloodsucker serve our country.

I wish I had gone back to her! I should have, I really should have! She wouldn't be _dead_ then. I could still go, I could still find her! I've asked Sam if I could go, but he is very against it. I understand why. For one, she's my mortal enemy—a leech—and should have no contact with us whatsoever. For another, we have enough to worry about with the redhead without me going and looking for her.

I swear when we finish this bloodsucker off, I _will_ find Bella. I don't care if I have to go all away around the world looking for her scent. She needs _someone_, she needs _me_. Bloodsucker or not, I promised her to always be there for her. I've broken that promise too many times already, I can't keep doing it.

I wish the wicked witch of the west would just strike already so we could slaughter her. _Why can't just bloody well come and fight us?!_

Sam has been training the pack even more intensely with every passing day. We know we'll need a lot more skill before we can ever slay the tick.

Stupid, reeking bloodsucker.

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

We got back from Paris five hours ago. It was amazing—I don't think I've ever had that much fun in my life. Auguste bought me a new sketchbook (he thinks mine will be done soon), and he wrote down his address in it for me to keep in contact. He also gave me a painting of me sitting on an old tattered bench in one of the beautiful Paris gardens. I had just been sitting there, thinking, and didn't even notice he was painting at the time. I _love_ it. I agreed to let Heidi and Chelsea frame that one.

We ran into a few other vampires on our trip. One of the covens was from the Amazon. I got to really know one of the women in that coven, Zafrina. She's tall and long with dark hair. She's pretty wild, but kind and thoughtful at the same time. She's the leader of her small coven, and has the gift of illusions. Aro was somewhat interested in her, but then decided that Alec's gift was better. (Otherwise, I can just imagine poor Zafrina being forced to join....and Alec kicked out.)

She was very fascinated by my shield, as I'm the only person who hasn't been able to see her illusions. She practiced with me for endless hours on how to lift my shield off of me, and I'm getting better at it. Still, only barely. It's very difficult because the elastic-like shield clings to me and won't let go. Alec knows what I'm trying to do with my shield, so he said he'll help me practice once we get back (I think he just really wants to see what I'll think of having my senses cut off).

--+--

We're currently doing intensive training. The rumours about the newborn army in the west have only gotten worse. Clearly, whoever made this army didn't bother to even mention the rules, or the Volturi. They are causing major problems in Seattle, not just the murders, but countless people have seen and reported these red-eyed, pale skinned, incredibly fast, incredibly strong people. It won't be long before people start putting the pieces together—everyone will know what we are. We can't have humans building machinery to kill us.

This is a very big, very important mission. The masters are extremely worried about me in this battle. This is bigger than anything they were expecting to happen soon. However, they think with my shield I should be able to kill without getting myself too hurt, especially if I borrow Jane's power, or Alec's. They want me to shield others, too—to try to keep us all safe. Alec and I are going to work together to blind all the newborns, but we have to make sure they're all in one area first. They shouldn't fight with their senses cut, but you never know how ridiculous some people can be, apparently.

The battle altogether should be fairly easy. Demetri will track the leader, make her bring together her army, and then Alec will cut their senses. We'll make a group decision on all their fates, then serve justice.

I only have one worry: Charlie. Seattle is so close to Forks, what if they go there to feed? Or if Charlie's visiting Seattle that day—or maybe even the Blacks...

I know the chances of those I love getting heard are minimal to nonexistent, but I can't help being worried for their safety. Charlie did the best he could for me, and loved me so much. Jake tried to fix me when I was broken, and Billy has always been there for my family. I can't have anyone getting hurt.

Today is Friday, we leave at twilight. We've heard from sources that the army plans to attack on Saturday, although we haven't heard who they're attacking, where it will be, what they want, and why they're doing this. All we know is that they have an army, and are prepared to fight.

This should be easy.

**Part 4: Victoria's POV**

Tomorrow we attack. Our army still isn't very prepared, but it's the best I can manage. If I wait any longer, the Volturi may hear and I definitely can't have that happening.

Riley is trained and prepared to fight. He has helped me teach the newborns somewhat as well. We plan to go on one last feeding rampage tonight before we head to Forks for the big day. We plan on meeting at a meadow just outside Forks, the newborns will be waiting there for me. I will go and get Charlie—I don't trust Riley not to bite him, even if he has just fed and has been in the house before. I can't risk my hostage dying.

I _need_ Bella. I _have_ to kill her. I _need_ my bittersweet revenge. I _will _get it, if it's the last thing I do.

* * *

**Yeah! The fight is going to be in the next chapter! :) **


	20. The Fight Bella's POV

**Chapter Twenty**

**NOTE: I know that the Victoria fight actually took place where they played baseball in Twilight; I'm just switching it around a bit.**

**Previously: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to **_**change**_** her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. Recently, Bella went to Paris with the Volturi, but soon after they had to leave. There is an out of control newborn army in Seattle. Little does Bella know that the man who tried to kill her, **_**James**_**'s mate, is in control of this army. Victoria plans on using Charlie to lure Bella in, expecting 'the psychic' to get a vision and try to fight her. What will happen when Bella shows up, immortal, with the whole guard behind her?**

* * *

**CHAPTER Twenty**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

Twilight; Interpretation: time to fight.

I already had my small bag packed and was dressed in my black attire, complete with my onyx cloak. My long chestnut brown hair was swiped up into a neat pony tail, with a few tendrils of hair left hanging idly on the sides and my fringe of bangs hanging just above my eyes. Heidi insisted on putting "battle makeup" on me—which was really just an excuse for her to play 'dress up' with me. I refused, but she guilt tripped me by insisting that I should let her since she wasn't going to get to go (we don't need the entire guard to fight them, and we also need to have people staying back here in Volterra just in case).

We were soon all on the jet, our inky black backpacks sitting on our laps. We discussed strategy on the plane—and I admit, I was panicking...just slightly.

Cauis piloted, and Demetri co-piloted. Again, Marcus stayed back to hold fort, along with Felix, Heidi, Corin, and Santiago. Aro sat in the cockpit with the pilots, discussing finer details and weighing options and plans. They didn't seem overly concerned with the battle; they've been doing this for centuries.

Chelsea and Afton yet again sat together; it hurts the hole deep inside my chest too badly to bear looking at them for too long. Alec and Eleazer were sitting together, and then there was Jane and Renata. I sat with Alec.

The line of attack is as follows: Demetri will leave the plane first to track the scent, with both Renata and Afton covering him. When he finds the direction the newborns are, he'll come back and get us. Afton is going to cover us; he will use his large transparent dome to make us invisible. Afton's shield will also block any sound we make or any scents that may come from us. Unfortunately, he only has enough energy to be able to hold it up for an hour, tops. It will solely be used for us to find the newborns.

At the same time Afton's dome goes up, I will shield us from physical and mental attacks. Renata will have her physical repellent shield on Cauis and Aro just in case. Once we find the army, we will ask them to all get in one group. If they refuse, Alec will cut their senses.

Our first target is the leader. We will question them, and then serve justice, the same for the newborns. However, before we kill any of the new vampires, Eleazer will see if any have special abilities. If so, Chelsea will cut off their bonds from their group and onto ours.

If anyone is uncooperative, Jane will get them in line. Once justice is served, we may have some damage control to do in Seattle. However, we are thinking about simply passing it off as a rampage of serial murderers.

--+--

Demetri is looking for the newborn army now. The plane ride was long and nerve wracking; I know there will be more deaths today. It is necessary. Countless humans were being slaughtered in Seattle because of these people; they will not go unpunished.

Alec was trying to make jokes on the plane to cheer me up and lighten my mood, but it had little effect. Eleazer did somewhat distract me when he was questioning me all about my shield, but it could only divert my attention for so long.

I was ready to fight. I was ready to serve justice. I was ready to make my world—and my people—safe again.

We hunted before we left; Marcus and I on animal blood, the rest on humans. Marcus surprised me by talking yesterday on our way back from the hunt, "not quite as energizing as human blood, but more filling".

It wasn't a complete sentence, and he said no more than that, but at least he said something. I was starting to think he was mute—except for the few sentences I would seem him exchange with Aro and Cauis.

I began to tap my foot impatiently—you'd think I'd learn to wait when I had all the time in the world (quite literally), but I was too anxious to be able to wait patiently, and politely as I should.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the others showed up. What they had to say made me freeze. If I could faint, I would most definitely have passed out. But I couldn't. All I could do was sit stiff and stare at them as though they were crazy—silently pleading them to admit they were wrong; that they said the wrong name, the wrong place...

But they didn't. And I could only sit in shock, still like the granite statue I am or should be. Dead. On the outside, on the inside...all the way through.

This. Cannot. Be. Happening.

Demetri's words repeated in my head, "_The newborns are in Forks"_.

_The newborns are in Forks..._

_The newborns are in Forks..._

_The newborns are in Forks..._

**Part 2: Alec's POV**

"M-master..." I stuttered. I couldn't understand the look on Bella's face. Her eyes were clouded over, staring blankly at where Demetri had been standing five minutes before.

Stiff, limp, lifeless...she just sat there.

"Bella?" I asked, quietly, worried about what could be happening inside her head. She didn't seem to hear me.

"Bella?" I called her louder, staring at her still frame. Why isn't she responding?

"Bella?" I asked even louder, shaking her figure slightly. This time, she spoke.

"The...newborns...are....in....Forks." She stated, still staring blindly into nothing. I called her name again, but that was the only response I could get.

"Carry her." Aro stated, incredulously. I did as ordered.

As we all walked out of the plane, the fresh air blew across us all, sweeping over our hair and skin. As it brushed past Bella, it also seemed to clear her head of whatever was causing her this reaction. She looked up at me, a mixture of fear and embarrassment clear in her eyes, slowly being wiped away by fierce determination.

"Bella?" I questioned once again, eyeing her skeptically as she climbed out of my arms. I was happy she was down; I was strong, of course, but I still had the body of a twelve-year-old boy, and she was an eighteen-year-old newborn resting in my arms. I was surprised I lasted carrying her so long.

"Let's fight." was her indomitable reply. And _that_ was what we set out to do.

Gracefully, our black cloaks flying behind us, we stalked from our landing area in Seattle, flying past the scenery into Forks. With the plane ride, and then trying to catch her scent, it was nearing 9:30 in the morning. It was almost time.

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

We walked through the outskirts of the city, careful not to come in the eyes of the humans—not that they could see us in Afton's dome.

I walked fiercely with an unyielding determination to defend my father, my family, my friends. I will protect them.

As we entered the clearing, I realized where we were. _Edward's meadow._ I tried to keep myself from breaking down again, and I probably wouldn't have been able to if it weren't for what I saw next.

Twenty blood red vampire eyes. Ten huge, vicious, bear-sized wolves. Victoria. Charlie.

_Charlie._

There was my father, perched in Victoria's cold, granite arms. Victoria stood proudly, holding Charlie out like a prize.

The wolfs tried to get close to her, but she was protected by newborns. Newborns who looked very much like they wanted to suck my father's blood dry.

Afton removed his dome shield. _NO! _I thought, horrified. This was the plan—we were to put down our dome and cut off all their senses. But now...Victoria will see us. She'll kill my father!

I ran towards the redhead, anger pulsing through by dry veins. Venom coated my mouth and I tensed to attack. The Volturi stood still at the opening of the meadow, confused by how I was not following strategy. But strategy doesn't matter now—she has my _father_! She's going to kill him! It's _all_ my fault. If I hadn't of left, I could've protected him! I could offer myself for him!

Anything. I'd offer anything to keep Charlie safe.

I continued sprinting forwards, my cloak flying behind me. I yelled as loud as I could—causing all the wolves and newborns to stare at me—"_GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FATHER!_"

I heard the entire Volturi gasp. I didn't care what they thought or what happened to them. Nothing mattered but Charlie. I should cut off her senses! Send her to the ground in pain with Jane's gift! Put my physical shield around Charlie; attack her myself!

All the ideas ran through my head, as I ran numbly towards her. _DO SOMETHING!_ I commanded myself. I couldn't though. My mind was empty but of thoughts of Charlie, how good he's been to me...his upcoming death. _It's all my fault_. I thought bitterly to myself.

Poor Charlie was sitting there, defenceless; a weak human. Why did Victoria have him? What does she want with him, and why is she in Forks? Is she angry Edward killed her mate? But if she was, why would she have my father?!

Shouldn't she be after Edward, or Alice, or any of the Cullens...or even _me_...but why _Charlie_?

**Part 4: Victoria's POV**

_It worked! _I thought blissfully to myself. My newborns were fighting off these repulsive mutts, and I had my hostage—_Charlie_. The human's father.

That's when she showed up, still smelling of freesia—but of honey too, backed up by the entire Volturi. _She's immortal!_ I thought bitterly to myself.

It will be harder to kill her now. But I know how to fight newborns. She'll go for the direct kill, and I'll get her when she least expects it. She'll be dead in minutes. _Mate for mate_. We're on the same level now; an even battle. My experience and her newborn strength.

But the Volturi are here. _She's in the Volturi_?! It doesn't matter. _I_ have Charlie. That will infuriate her. I'll kill him before the Volturi have a chance to think, before they can stop me from taking the girl's precious father. She'll want me then, she'll be after me for revenge. That's when I'll kill her—I'll rip her to shreds, burn the pieces. I don't care if the Volturi kills me after; all I need is to avenge James' death. _My lover_.

Mate for mate. I'll make the murderer suffer.

With that, I turned my attention to the weak human in my arms. The poor little man all those mongrels are trying to protect. "Bella?" I heard his croaky, gritty voice call.

There was no time left. Another second now and they'll stop me; they'll save the girl's father, and the girl will be protected. They'll kill me. I _can't_ let that happen.

"_Dad, I'm so sorry!_" the human's daughter called. I sniggered to myself one short, evil chuckle. Then I did it. I tossed him against a tree, and stabbed him in the heart. _There's no saving him now._

I continued to mangle his dead body; he's gone forever now.

The girl stared at me, her eyes full of anger and sorrow. "_Mate for mate...now you're going down." _I explained viciously.

Fierce determination took over her, and she was speeding towards me. _It's killing time_, I thought excitedly to myself.

Then I was on the ground, writhing in pain.

**Part 5: Bella's POV**

_"Bella?_" Charlie called me. I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying not to break down again. _He needs me_.

I ran towards his limp body, calling out to him. "_Dad, I'm so sorry!"_ I wanted to say more. Tell him I never wanted to hurt him. To tell him he has been an amazing father, and I was lucky to have him. Sorry for leaving him. To tell him what happened with Edward, what Edward and his family _were_. What I _am._ What I've been doing. How much I miss him. Why I couldn't communicate with him. But most importantly, how this is all my fault. He's in the hands of _death_ all because of me.

I tried to put my thoughts in order as I thought ways to protect him. There were so many—so many things I could do—but I couldn't think straight. My thoughts were amiss.

That's when it happened. My poor father—_Charlie_—was tossed against a tree. Victoria then stabbed her granite nails into his heart. She warped his body, bending it into unnatural shapes. But it didn't matter—he didn't feel anything—because he was dead.

_"Charlie!"_ I screamed, loud and piercing. The pain was flowing freely through me; the guilt of what I've done. I killed my father, it's all my fault. When I found out what the Cullens were, when I was alone in the forest that day so long ago... I decided I couldn't stop being around Edward. I _loved_ him.

Now look at what he's done! He caused my whole life to revolve around him; he was the center of my universe. Then he left me all alone....

"_I'm no good for you Bella."_ "_My world is not for you."_ "…_I don't want you to come with me."_ "_Of course, I'll always love you…in a way."_ "_You're not good for me, Bella."_ "_I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_ "_Don't worry. You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

He lied to me. He told me those cutting words that erased all the others. He made me _believe_ he loved me. I fell for him. Then look what he did to me. I was a wreck, torn apart, barely able to function. I hurt Charlie by being so messed up! The last bit of time I ever got to spend with him I was nothing but dead and unresponsive, despite the small bit I had improved with Jacob.

Now I brought all my problems to Charlie. He's _dead_ and it's all because of me. I shouldn't have left...I shouldn't have fallen in love with a vampire...I should've....I should've....I should've done_ something_!!

"Mate for mate...you're going down." I heard Victoria mutter. I turned to glare at her, and my sorrow for my now-dead father was quickly taken over by my hatred for his murderer.

I ran towards her, lightening fast. This time, my mind was working. It was processing quickly, thinking of all the worst ways of torment for her. I quickly decided on Jane's ability, and let my red mingle with her blue.

_Amethyst..._you're _going down. _I thought to myself. I couldn't comprehend what her words had meant, all I knew was she was a killer. She killed my father. Now it's time for me to slay my first vampire.

I put the full force of Jane's talent on Victoria. She was distorted in pain, her screams sharp and piercing. Like a knife cut through the heavy mass of the air. Her screams echoed and stretched on; only adding fuel to my fire. She killed my father. She _killed_ my father.

I don't know how long I was standing there, tormenting her mind. I couldn't stop. She had to feel all the pain I was feeling inside. I had to persecute her, torture her, cause her anguish and suffering. _Just like she's done to me!_

She screamed louder, her shrieks piercing all our ears. I thought of the pain James had caused me in the ballet studio, of trying to run and my bones being crushed....the glass breaking over my weak human head and the blood spilling out...the burning when his razor sharp teeth pierced through my skin...

She was still screeching knife-like cries; I had lost track of time awhile ago. The newborns and pack were still staring at Victoria in shock; they had no idea what was happening to her. All they as all was her agony as she thrashed on the ground, with no one touching her. My glare was the only thing touching her at this point.

I was distracted, trying to hurt her. I wanted her to feel agony, injury...I wanted to take her in my own hands and pommel her, cover her body in laceration. I wanted to strike her, to see the lasting effect of all the pain she's causing me written on her body. Every shrill scream of hers only made me happier, my eyes glinting wickedly as the monster inside me took over. I longed to see her body broken and torn apart, just like she did to my father's body! I wanted to _hurt her_!

That's when Jane showed up out of nowhere. She gave me one stiff nod, and before I knew it, she was using her gift on him too; double the pain. I didn't know why she was here, or what her intentions were, but I was thankful.

I gave her a nod before I left and walked towards my father, beaten and broken. His bones were jutting out in awkward places, his skin torn. His eyes were dark and blood shot, rimmed in black and red. Bruises were already beginning to form; not a section of his body was left untouched.

"_I'm sorry dad. It's all my fault. I'm so, so sorry. If it weren't for me, you'd still be enjoying your quaint life in Forks. Then I had to intrude upon your house, fall in love with a vampire, and then go off into a deep depression when he left me. I ran away, dad, and I'm so sorry. I know how much it must have hurt you. I was selfish; I was in too much pain to think about you. I thought things would go back for you like they were before I left Phoenix. I had no idea the toll it would take on you...or that you would be in danger. Believe me, dad, if I had known, I never would have left. I would have protected you, dad. Please, I'm so so sorry! I miss you dad, so much. I can't believe this happened. I will never forgive myself dad, I...."_

I was trailing off, talking to the lifeless body of my dead father. Everyone was staring at me, except for Jane, whose concentration was on the beastly woman screeching on the ground in endless misery and affliction. _She's the one I really should _say_ something to_.

I walked back to Victoria, her ginger hair swaying in the breeze. Her fingers were clawing at the ground for any sort of purchase. I spat in disgust, hating everything about her. I'd never felt such a passionate abhorrence in my life. She was an abomination to both human and vampire race; repulsive.

I gave one nod to Jane, signalling I wanted to take over. She stepped back and let me intervene. This was my chance to let her see exactly how much hatred was seething through my veins just at the sight of her.

"Victoria." I stated coldly, a razor sharp edge to my words.

"Bella." She replied curtly, getting to her feet.

"Why did you kill my father?" I asked her, the fury obvious in my eyes, movements, words.

"Silly Bella; I thought you were smart enough to figure that out. I suppose you're just as weak and naive as you were when you were human." She told me, teasingly, acting as though she were better than I. I used Jane's gift to knock her back on the ground.

"Why did you want my father?!" I repeated again, fury raging within me.

"To lure your here, obviously." She stated, as if it were childishly obviously.

"What do you want with me?" I asked, my loathing seeping through every word.

"Your Edward killed my James. I figured it was only fair to exchange mate for mate. Edward made me lose James, so I'll make him lose you. He deserves the pain after he took my paramour; he'll get to feel exactly how devastating it is to lose his mate, just like me took mine away from me!" She screeched, angrily.

"Well, _Victoria_," I spat, "it just so happens that he is _not_ my mate anymore. So whatever pain you want to cause him won't do anything; he told me he doesn't love me—that I'm no good for him. Go ahead and take your worst shot—he won't care. There'll be no sweet revenge for you; just another senseless murder."

She looked at me, confusion and bewilderment filling her. It was quickly replaced with anger. "I don't believe you. But even so, maybe I'll go after him once I tear you to shreds and burn the pieces. The more I kill, the more I avenge his murderers, the better." She stated wickedly.

"You're not leaving here alive." I stated through barred teeth. She killed my father; _she's _going down. And there's no way I'd let her go anywhere near the Cullens!

"Oh really?" She questioned sardonically under her breath. Before I had a chance to retaliate, she was pouncing at me. I didn't have a chance to think, to move. I wanted to kill her so bad, yet I was overcome with the same state of immobility as before my father was killed. _Why can't I bloody well stop her! _I screamed at myself.

Then I decided to embrace her. I was going to enrapture Jane in my strong physical shield, then rip Victoria to shreds with my own hands. There's no stopping my sweet revenge now.

That was what I thought, at least, until one of the large russet brown wolves jumped in front of me, blocking Victoria from my view. I growled angrily, wanting nothing but for it to be _my_ hands ripping her granite skin to shreds.

I flew towards them, and ripped Victoria from the beast's grasp. It was hurt, but only slightly. _Serves it right_, I thought bitterly to myself. _She is MINE_.

My physical shield was tough and strong, blocking me from her attacks. I heard the beast whimper behind me, and it took all I could from turning around and giving it a blow across the face.

I was on top of Victoria. I didn't want to cut her senses. I didn't want to use Jane's gift and put her in pain before pouncing. I wanted to do it all myself, _just me_, and tear her angrily to shreds.

We began a dance, Victoria ahead of me. We stared angrily into each other's eyes; both crimson red. She took one step forwards and I leapt towards her unsuspecting shoulders. I used all my newborn strength to push her figure onto the ground. She struggled and writhed beneath me, but her strength was no match to mine. I reached down and ripped an arm out of it's sockets, tossing it out of the way. I reached for the next arm, but she used all the strength she had to whip me over.

Her blade like teeth gleamed in the sun, our bodies iridescent. She leaned in towards me to swipe her around the base of my next. I grabbed her arm and flipped her into the air; we were now both standing.

She had just managed to get her teeth on my skin, but it barely cut through the outer layer of my shield. _You're going to have to do better than that_...I whispered in her ear, my tone acidic.

I was so close. I leaned my sharp teeth to wipe across her throat...

She had me pinned to the ground again; her arm and legs tackled me over. She may have skill, I do too. Plus, I have strength on my side, and this very helpful ability.

"R_iley!!_" she screeched, her voice in a panic. _So, you're giving into your survival instinct now, ginger?_

A tall, muscular boy with vivid red eyes and blonde hair began to sprint across the field. He looked around my age, and clearly a newborn, yet no younger than me in this life.

He came to Victoria's rescue, ready to fight for her. The russet wolf stopped him this time, and the two fought to the deaths. I didn't know why, but I felt sorry for the large wolf that had tried to kill Victoria instead of me. It's eyes somehow looked intelligently...as if they shouldn't be on the eyes of a beast.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, and brought my attention back to Victoria. Fear was the most vivid emotion in her eyes, but she did have a long time of apprehension. I inclined my head to her neck above me, and before I knew it, it was rolling away from me.

I continued to rip her body to shreds mordaciously, the venom burning her coarse granite skin. There were no pieces of her body left bigger than my hand when I was done with her. I picked up all the shred and tossed them into a pile. I saw the wolf doing the same to the vampire who was Riley.

I turned around and called to Cauis, "_burn them!_" I shrieked sadistically—viciously—ferociously.

Cauis did as asked, and strode with his head held high, towards the pile of remains. I saw the flames shoot up as the air was filled with a heavy, purple, cloud-like smoke. _Enjoy hell._ I told them through my mind as I watched the flames dance over the stone remains.

The newborns tried to run, but the wolves refused. They went back to tearing them apart, limb from limb.

I notice Alec concentrated on the scene in the distance—trying to block out the dog's and newborn's senses. Soon, the newborns were stumbling around aimlessly, their senses completely gone. No sounds, no scents, no feelings... just blackness.

Alec's gift, however, had no effect on the dogs. They growled angrily, and I saw a wolf with dark silver fur try to run forwards in attack. However, a swift brown haired wolf stopped him before he could get far.

A black haired wolf ran away from the group, and then moments later a very tall, copper skinned, black-haired, brown-eyed man stepped into the cleaning. He wore nothing but a pair of dark wash denim shorts, his muscles were long and rounded, his face seemed older than any faces in the Volturi. As he spoke, I heard his voice was deep.

As he stepped forwards, I heard Aro and Cauis exchange a few words, before Aro stepped forwards. The look on Cauis' face was murderous.

"Who are you?" Aro asked politely, in his typical joyous matter.

"I am Sam Uley; the pack's alpha. Who are you?" He asked. I could smell him from where I was—a few steps between Aro and the guard—and I realized he had the same sort of stench the russet wolf had, but not quite as strong.

"Nice to meet you; I am Aro, one of three leaders of the Volturi. Are you in charge of the other wolves that were fighting the newborns?" Aro questioned kindly, shaking Sam's hand. He did not let go.

I head Cauis let of a hiss. "He's not one of the children of the moon, Cauis. Don't you see that it is sunny, yet they are still transformed? They can't infect people by biting them; it is born through people genetically—they are called _shape-shifters_. They could take on the shape of hawks...owls...bear...they just happen to have the form of a wolf. They can change from human to wolf when desired." Aro whispered quietly to Cauis.

"Yes, I am the leader of the wolves. Why did you call these lee...vampires 'newborns'? What is your connection here?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm and polite, void of emotion.

"Newborns are vampires who were only recently changed from human form. They were causing quite a mess in Seattle and we came to intervene. Now, if you don't mind me asking, what is your reason for being here?"

"We are protectors; we protect our city—La Push—from anything that upsets the peace. The blo—vampire was continuously on our land, which we have strict rules against. We have been trying to catch up to her for quite sometime. Recently, she also took that man, Charlie, from our neighbouring town; Forks. He was also a good family friend of one of the pack's families. We came here to protect both our city and him; however we failed on the second part.

What do you plan on doing with the '_newborns_'?"

_Why does he mean, a man in the pack's family was friends with Charlie? Do I know him? Who is he?_

"We will group them together and question them. They have murdered and broken our rules. We are the leaders of the Vampire race, and it is our duty to enforce the law. We will serve justice to them."

"Will you be leaving after that?" he asked, hostility clear in his voice.

"Shortly, yes, but we'd like to talk to you again first." Aro replied.

"Sure enough. Serve your 'justice'" Sam called, sounding as if he was trying hard to keep up his calm facade.

Aro waltzed forwards, and we followed. One by one we placed the confused newborns side by side, then Alec returned them their senses.

The newborns looked at us confused, some angry. A couple began to fight with each other.

"Who is the leader here?" Cauis asked. They looked at him, saying nothing.

Aro walked forwards and asked to put his hands on a tall boy with brown hair. He read through his mind, and I stood touching him so I could process the thoughts going into Aro's mind.

Aro looked for who the leader was, their purpose, and what they have been doing in Seattle. He then turned to the guard, ready to share what he had just learned. "Dear friends, the redhead was the leader, and she came here to lure Bella in by using Charlie; her father. They hoped to have the mind reader from the Cullens see her with him and come to save her. The redhead—Victoria—wanted Bella because her mate Edward killed her mate James'. She built the army to help her attack. Victoria told them the rules, but they paid no heed. They broke our most important rules, and made the existence of vampires painfully obvious in Seattle. May we serve justice." Aro stated, then looked at Eleazer, who gave him a quick nod. Interpretation: none had any especially useful gifts that are clearly evident at this moment.

The guard pranced forward, ready to kill. A beautiful, slight girl with short dark hair looked at me, her eyes pleading. "_Please, don't kill me! She told us we had to! We had no choice but to follow her, even if we did break these 'rules'. We didn't know who you people were, or what you'd do to us. We just did what Victoria asked and didn't ask questions if we didn't want to get hurt. Please, _please_ don't kill me!"_ the girl pleaded softly in slight whispers. All around us the guard was taking down and attacking the newborns, not bothering to cut off their senses first to make it less painful. The kills were quick and easy—you could tell the guard was having _fun_. I spat at the pure disgust of it all.

I walked towards the fearful girl, her head barely reaching my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and ducked down to her eye level. "_Shh, it's okay. I'll tell them. It's okay. What's your name?"_ I comforted the girl, trying to take the pain from her eyes.

"I'm B-bree." She stuttered. "Who are you?"

"I'm Bella." I smiled back at her, sweetly.

"That was your father Victoria killed? You're the one she came here for?" She questioned, innocently curious.

"Yeah, that was him, and that's me." I croaked out; the memory of what happened not long ago still plainly vivid in my mind.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"It's okay, you didn't know any better. Victoria should never have done that. She deserved death; I just wish I could've gotten to her sooner..."

"Bella, aren't you going to kill her?" Alec asked me, confused.

"No. She did nothing wrong. She had no other options, no other choice. She may have known the rules, but she was still practically forced to do what she did. It would be immoral and wrong to punish her for that." I told him, rubbing Bree's back reassuringly.

Alec looked at me, understanding in his eyes. I could see how sorry he felt for me and what happened with my father. He really was like family to me, the best family I've known since I ran away.

Alec talked to Aro and Cauis on my behalf, and they begrudgingly agreed to let her life. I had to keep her in my room, however, and teach her the rules and the ropes of Vampire life. I agreed eagerly, happy to have her life spared.

I lifted her high off the ground and cradled her in my arms, hugging her tightly to me.

"Thank you." she whispered.

The wolves looked at the episode that had just happened between me, Bree, Alec, Aro, and Cauis. In their intelligent beast eyes I could see confusion and even the slightest speck of respect. I was happy to make them think kindly of us.

Sam walked towards our group, and asked calmly "is it now you want to talk to us?"

"Yes, but would you mind changing into your human forms first so we can all easily communicate?" Aro requested. I saw Sam examine his face, most likely trying to determine if it were safe.

"It is safer for us in this form." Sam proclaimed.

"Alright then," Aro sighed, and he and Cauis exchanged a loaded glance. "We were toying with the idea of...._guard dogs_." He stated.

I gasped. Did he really think these men would want to work for us, their _enemies_, to protect us? What kind of a request is that?!

The wolves all growled, and the ferocious dark silver one yet again dove forwards, being blocked by another wolf before he could make it far.

"NO." Sam stated angrily. "We do not work for your kind. We have a city here to protect and cannot abandon it."

"Okay, it was just an errant thought. It would just be for a short while, to see what it's like...a trial." Aro laughed, bemused.

However, before he had fully said his sentence, the second largest wolf ran into the trees. The whole packed erupted in roars of growls and howling, but the russet brown wolf did not return. In moments, another man appeared from the trees. He was very tall, but not quite as tall as Sam. He was tone with a muscular build, and had russet skin. He looked oddly familiar.

My human memories are hazy, but I somehow matched him up to a boy I was once friends with. That boy, however, had much more childish features and was not nearly as big or bulky. The boy from my memories and the man ahead of me still looked like the same person...

"I will try being a guard dog your group, consider me a trial. I could stay a year." The man called in a strong voice.

"_Jacob?_" I gasped.

He stared into my eyes, memorizing my features and examining my new, immortal body.

"Bella?" he replied, his voice sounding hopeful and full of love.

"Yes, Jacob, it's me!" I smiled, running into his arms.

"_Jacob!_" Sam hissed. "_Don't do it_."

"No, Sam...I have to." Jacob croaked, his voice just above a whisper.

"Jake...we're _vampires_...you really want to come live with us?" I questioned, hoping he would come to his senses. As much as I missed him, I wanted him to be happy. And I knew what he wanted—something I can't give him. This will only lead him on further.

"I don't care, Bella. I miss you. I need you, in my life." He choked, trying to keep from being emotional. I looked into his eyes, trying to read what he wanted. He stared deep into my eyes, as well, and I felt as thought I could never look away—he had me trapped in his gaze.

"Well, son, welcome to the guard!" Aro declared excitedly, and patted him on the shoulder. "Well, we're leaving now. Thank you for your assistance, Sam."

With that, the Volturi strode away from the meadow. My gaze landed on Charlie's lifeless, mangled body, and I was once again filled with sorrow for the father I couldn't save.

"Bella, leave it. He's in a better place now." Jake whispered, clearly sad for my father as well. I nodded, unable to form a sentence with my the lump in my throat. I merely slipped my hand into Jake's, and we followed the crowd, Bree on my other side.

'_This will be an interesting twist on things.'_ I sighed to myself.

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**There's the next chapter to the story! Enjoy! (:**

**Please review!! Questions, commentions, suggestions, constructive criticism, whatever.... just review :) please? haha. **

**PS: any suggestions for Brees ability would be highly appreciated! (:**


	21. The Fight Jake's POV

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Sorry guys--this isn't much, just Jake's POV. I'll write what happens next tmo--I just wanted you to see his thoughts.**

**I surprised a lot of you on the last chapter! Yay!!**

**Sorry for such a long delay on this chapter! School, work, ISUs, and upcoming exams are taking a big toll on my time. I'll write a lot more when exams are done! However, I managed to make some time to write this!**

**Thanks to Princess1992 for my 200****th**** review, and to all others who reviewed!**

**NOTE: Some of you are wondering whats up with Bella and Jake, and when Edward is coming back. I can answer neither. I will not give away anything. All I can say is that: trust me, I haven't forgotten Edward, and that I am no more Team Jacob than I am Team Edward. Thus, anything can happen. [Oh, joy! Who doesn't just love suspense?!]**

**Story Description: Edward left Bella, and she started to count on Jacob to be her personal sun. Then he left her, too. Bella decides the best way to cope with her depression would be to find someone to **_**change**_** her; then she can find the Cullens and get answers. She knows she needs to do this if she ever wants closure. She eventually found Laurent in Denali, and he agreed to change her. However, we then find out he just did it so he could get a reward from the Volturi for bringing such a talented vampire their way. Bella realizes that once she gets her answers, she'll have no home, no family. She decides that the best thing to do would be to join the Volturi, with plans on finding the Cullens sometime in the near future. **

**Previously, the Volturi went to Seattle to stop the newborn army causing havoc across the land. It was really a ploy for Victoria to get her hands on Bella, using her father Charlie to lure her in (thinking Alice's visions would catch it). Bella kills Victoria, but not until Victoria had already killed Charlie. The pack was fighting the newborns, and the Volturi asked them to step aside to 'serve justice'. Bella saved Bree, and Jake took up Aro's offer to join the Volturi as a trial for a year as a guard dog. **_**What will happen now?**_

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**CHAPTER Twenty One**

**Jake's POV**

I. Can't. Believe. It.

The redhead had been getting worse, and we had plans to attack. Then she kidnapped Charlie. We sought after her to get him back and to finally put a stop to her, but she was backed up by a huge army of her own. We were outnumbered. The vampires were unskilled, however, and we managed to keep up an even fight. We had no deaths as of yet, unfortunately, neither did say. Whose group would start dying first?

We'd been there for nearly an hour. Then, suddenly, a large group of bloodsuckers came in. They walked majestically, as if they owned the word. We spat at the sight of them.

'_Are they with the redhead?_' Embry though nervously.

We didn't know. We couldn't think long about it, either, because we had a fight of our own to keep up. Luckily, it seemed the leeches were surprised by the new parasite's presence. They must not be together.

Hopefully, they would soon leave. We had a fight to win. And _win_ is the only option we have. We tried multiple times to save Charlie, but he was too well protected. Fighting was the only solution. Our pack was big—there were ten of us—but that's not enough to hold up long against these vamps.

I had a blonde bloodsucker on one side and a black haired one on the other. I was fighting back and forth between the two, trying to watch my back. No one was winning as of yet. It wouldn't be long until _something_ happens, though. Every pack member has two ticks to slaughter—it won't be easy. We might not make it.

That's when I heard a chime-like voice scream, "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FATHER!" I whipped around quickly, stunned by the outburst. I noticed all the leeches and the pack had turned around as well.

The girl who called was charging across the meadow, leaving the black hooded group of bloodsuckers and racing towards the redhead, and Charlie. I was scared at first, wondering if this girl was going to go kill Charlie. Then I realized how stupid that thought was—she was obviously not working with these people. However, the redhead didn't seem overly surprised by her appearance here, but was rather eyeing her critically.

That's when her words clicked into my head; 'get your hands off my father'. _Her father is Charlie? She's trying to protect Charlie? She's his daughter? She's....she's..._Bella_?!?_

I gazed at her body, trying to decipher if this was the girl I had missed so dearly. I didn't realize how important she was to me. Over the past month, I missed her terribly, but now seeing her...the emotions I'm feeling are overwhelming. Especially when she's a bloodsucker.

Her long chestnut hair swayed from her ponytail, loose pieces of her hair flaring behind her in the wind. She had pallid white skin, which was gleaming in the sun like thousands of tiny diamonds embedded into her skin. Her full, cherry red lips were still open from her outburst, and her arched eyebrows were mashed together in fury. Her eyes were unlike these ticks; they were not a bright, fluorescent red, but rather a dulling crimson with a perhaps a few orange specks.

I watched her run agilely towards the redhead; rage pumped into her every step. I watched in awe as her shapely body pumped closer to her father, trying to save him from the auburn leech's grasp.

I had an odd desire then to run towards her, to stop her. I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe from the savage bloodsucker. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and nuzzle my head into her hair. I wanted to brush my warm hand against her cold face, and tell her how much I've missed her. I wanted to stare into her eyes and tell her exactly how much I loved her...

_'JACOB! SHE'S A FILTHY BLOODSUCKER!' _I heard Leah screech at me through her thoughts. And she was right—Bella is now a filthy leech. But why do I still love her so, so much? I love her more than before I left, more than any crush or infatuation. I love her more than my pack, my sisters, even my own father...I loved her more than my whole life.

My frame began to shake from the core. I had to control myself; I'm phased, and any false move could set all the leeches around me off. I couldn't control myself, though. I had just realized something absolutely horrific...and at the same time...absolutely wonderful.

_I just imprinted on Bella Swan; bloodsucker, leech....the love of my life._

"Bella?" I heard Charlie call. _It is Bella. _I have to help her! I have to save her father!

She ran closer towards him, agony, pain, and hatred pure on her face. "_Dad, I'm so sorry!_" she cried, putting even more energy into her sprint. I could see the rage and anger pouring out of here, pumping her muscles with energy, trying to go as fast as she could. Her efforts were in vain.

Without warning, Charlie was slammed against a tree by the redhead, who then took her granite hand and crushed it through his flesh, blood, bones...and _heart_. His body was on the ground, warped into unnatural shapes. He was dead. Billy's best friend, Bella's father, Fork's Police Chief...was dead. Gone. Never coming back. Not even a vampire's venom could save him now.

"_Charlie!"_ Bella screamed deafeningly, piercing my ears. I felt my heart tearing itself into pieces. Worse than the realization that Charlie was dead was the pain Bella was experiencing. It hurt me worse than any words could ever say.

"Mate for mate...you're going down." Ginger spat. _What does 'mate for mate' mean?_

Bella ran faster. I watched tense, expecting the redhead to crush Bella with her obvious skills. I didn't know what to do. Before I had a chance to fully process the thought, Victoria was writhing on the ground. No one was touching her, but she was in obvious agony.

The sorrow in Bella's eyes was replaced with bitter hate and malevolence. I could see the longer for revenge clearly in her eyes, wanting to pay the redhead back for all the damage she had done.

Time passed unbearably slow as I watched Bella stare down ginger, who in turn was crumpled in unnatural positions on the damp forest floor. The redhead shrieked, screamed, sobbed, screeched, cried out, begged...but nothing she did stopped the pain she was obviously being exposed to. I found myself undeniably happy for the pain she was being caused.

Time passed slowly, and it felt as though we had been there for days watching the redhead wither in much-deserved agony.

We had not resumed our fight; both sides had their eyes fixed on Bella and ginger, wondering what was a very short leech with pale brown hair suddenly appeared beside her. I noticed Bella give her a nod, as the short girl began to focus intently on the redhead. Bella walked towards her limp and broken father. I heard every word she spoke, blaming his death entirely on herself and telling him how sorry she is, how much she loves him and misses him...

I let a low whine escape my lips. It'snot Bella's fault this happened. She had just wanted to get away from the pain she felt from that revolting bloodsucker leaving her behind to wither away. She was in so much pain—it was embedded and engraved in her eyes, her voice, her every movement. Her shapely body had been reduced to near skin and bones, and dark under circles outlined her bloodshot eyes. Billy told me stories Charlie had told him, of her screaming every night, sometimes even crying. Of her not speaking unless spoken to, of her being sent into a zombie state. Then she found me, and I started to help her. She was doing so much better, even if she still felt pain from everything that reminded her of _him_. I was helping her get over it, then she gave up. She left just to ask him why he left...she gave up her live, her mortality, her family, her friends, her _everything_ for him...for just an _explanation_ for him. She deserved so much better, and he deserved this same agony the ginger was getting.

Bella began to walk back towards the redhead, leaving her broken and bleeding father on the cold ground. _How come she didn't go after his blood? How can she be so sensitive when she's something so...so...cruel and heartless. How can she not me a monster when her every feature is trying to make her that way?_

Bella gave another nod to the short leech, and soon ginger has stopped shaking and was on her feet. I listened intently to their exchange, growling every so often. The redhead has a name, _Victoria_. She brought Charlie here just to lure Bella in, to try to kill Bella to make Edward suffer for killing her mate. Doesn't she know Edward left her long ago? Or...is this recent? Did she find him and then ginger's mate came and tried to hurt her, and Edward killed him? Could she be back with Edward? My heart wrenched at the thought.

That's when I heard words that brought me both relief and pain. She told him how her and Edward have split, how he doesn't give a care what happens to her anymore—and she's so true.

Then Victoria threatened to kill the Cullens too, and Bella defended them. I growled at that—how she could be so loyal to the people who had caused her so much underserved pain.

Bella told her she wasn't leaving alive, and I heard ginger mutter under her breath '_oh really?'_ with a thick air of sarcasm.

Bella wasn't moving. I saw her standing there, as if in shock, terror, and rage. I could see a million emotions and thoughts pass through her eyes, but she made no move. Ginger would surely soon attack. I couldn't allow that.

I raced away from the pack without another thought, and although their thoughts yelled at me to stop, I only pushed harder towards Bella. I reached her quickly, and stood in front of her, shielding her from the leech.

I grasped her granite arm in my large, jagged teeth, ready to pull her to shreds. Then, abruptly I was slammed away from the bloodsucker, the bones cracking in my arm from the exchange. I could feel they were still in the right place, though, and would set properly when they heal. Unfortunately, I was going to be crippled for the rest of the fight. _Why did Bella do that?_ I questioned myself, angered I couldn't rip ginger to shreds and burn her to ash for all she has done.

Bella and Victoria were fighting, and I could tell it was a close fight. I was about to run in between them when I noticed ginger slice her razor teeth over Bella's skin, but it didn't leave a mark. This stunned me.

Before I had a chance to decide what to do next, ginger called a leech named Riley towards me. He was tall and muscular...but still inexperienced. I am the biggest in the pack, the Beta—rightful Alpha—I could take him down.

It took all my strength and effort to defeat him, but I did it. For my pack, for Charlie, for my family, for _Bella_.

I ripped him to shreds and tossed them into one big heap; Bella did the same to ginger. One of the bloodsuckers then came and lit them on fire, after Bella screamed viciously for them to be burned.

I, with the pack, now had to concentrate on tearing the other parasites limb from limb. I was startled, however, then they suddenly stopped fighting and began to stumble around, as if they suddenly lost their sight. Probably one of the bloodsuckers abilities—legend has it some vampires have special gifts. _Ugh_. Luckily, it had no effect on us.

Sam appeared in his human form to talk to the black hooded leeches; the ones Bella came with. We watched tensely, nervous for his safety.

The vamps we had been fighting were called 'newborns'—they had only recently been bitten and were inexperienced. Sam asked if the new leeches would be leaving once their so-called justice is served. The man, Aro, told him they would, after first speaking to us. I wonder what _that_ meant.

The 'Vohwl-tore-ey' proceeded towards the newborn leeches, taking away the empty look in their eyes and beginning to question them. Apparently, they broke the 'vampire law' (_what a joke_), and were now going to be annihilated. What a nice group. It was Götterdämmerung.

I noticed Bella talking quietly to a bloodsucker with short brown-coloured hair; I listened intently to the exchange. The girl, _Bree_, begged for Bella to not kill her—to let her live. She said she didn't have a choice in doing this, and that they didn't know fully what the rules entailed.

Bella, selfless and caring as always—even as a filthy bloodsucker—promised to talk to the Vohwltoreey for her. Another short bloodsucker in one of the black dress..._things_...questioned her about killing the girl, and Bella defended her. She saved her life. I was in awe...even if what she did would only save a leech.

Aro requested to Sam for us to change into our human forms for him to talk to us. Sam refused—it wasn't a safe idea. Then Aro said his idea—he wanted to use us as _guard dogs_ for them.

My brothers and sisters alike all growled menacingly at the leeches in black dresses; we are _not _to be stepped on like that. Don't they know that vampires are our mortal enemies?!

The idea slowly began to sink in, however. If I joined, just for a short while...I could see Bella again. I could talk to her, get to know her again...tell her how much I love her—even if she does reek and is a bloodsucker.

Sam told Aro a firm no, and Aro chuckled at the response. I decided I didn't like this _Aro _guy. What's his problem, anyway?

I couldn't hate him too badly, however, because I wanted to join him. I wanted to be a part of his group and spend time with Bella; I _need _to be with her.

"I will try being a guard dog for you group, consider me a trial. I could stay a year." I stated, in the strongest voice possible. I didn't want my voice to shake in front of them. I was clearly scared, and frightened by this decision. But it would be worse than to live without Bella.

I heard her gasp at my comment, and hoped terribly that Bella wasn't angry at me for wanting to join her. Could she hate me for being a wolf? Or for always wanting to be more than just friends? Or even for the two weeks before she ran away that I didn't talk to her? Along with her gasp, she called my name, questioningly, "_Jacob?_"

I stared into her crimson irises, revelling in the beauty of her new body of a monster, desperately in love with everything about her. I could even learn to love her sickly sweet smell. Well..._possibly_.

"Bella?" I replied, hopeful, lovingly.

"Yes, Jacob, it's me!" She exclaimed, smiling. I was shocked to see her running towards me, wrapping her cold arms around my fur. I hugged her back tightly, scrunching my nose slightly at the smell.

"Jacob! Don't do it." Sam hissed.

"No, Sam...I have to." I croaked, trying to keep my voice in check. I was going to miss him, and all of my pack, not to mention Billy. I can't believe I'm doing to this to them—I feel horrible for it. But not as horrible as I'd feel if Bella left without me.

"Jake...we're _vampires_...you really want to come live with us?" Bella questioned skeptically, and relief flooded through me as I realized she didn't hate me, but just wanted to keep me safe and happy.

"I don't care, Bella. I miss you. I need you, in my life." I told her earnestly, trying to explain all the love I had with her through my eyes, gazing at her lovingly.

"Well, son, welcome to the guard!" Aro, the annoying, condescending one declared excitedly, and patted me on the shoulder. "Well, we're leaving now. Thank you for your assistance, Sam."

With that, the Vohwltoreey marched out of the meadow, acting haughty and superior. I glanced at Charlie's broken body, then at Bella's sorrow-filled eyes. She was staring at him, too.

"Bella, leave it. He's in a better place now." I whispered, sad he was so permanently gone from this earth.

She simply nodded, slipping her cold hand into mine. We walked slowly behind the black hooded group, unable to talk. Bree followed on Bells' other side.

'_What am I setting myself up for_?' I wondered as I left my life behind.

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**hope you liked seeing this through Jake's POV! please review, and I'll try to update tmo with what happens next!!**


	22. Ice & Flames

**Chapter Twenty One**

So, lots of negative reviews for the last chapter. Luckily, the positive reviews just about evened it out. But, because so many of you are upset about the imprint, I'd like to reiterate my last author's note:

**NOTE: **Some of you are wondering what's up with Bella and Jake, and when Edward is coming back. I can answer neither. I will not give away anything. All I can say is that: trust me, I haven't forgotten Edward, and that I am no more Team Jacob than I am Team Edward. Thus, anything can happen. [Oh, joy! Who doesn't just love suspense?!]

**I'd also like to tell you this, which I told a few people on my review replies: **I don't want to say anything about what's going to happen, because what's the point of writing suspense if everybody already knows what happens? Just keep reading. I assure you, I am not the person to make things so stupidly obvious. (one day Bella ran away because Edward left her. Jacob imprinted on her, even though she was a vampire. They then lived happily ever after. blah blah blah). Nope. I assure you, I am barely midway through this story, so don't think you know everything that's going to happen yet.

**By the way**, I kind of foreshadowed this by the way Jacob felt about her after the phone call and heard her voice and knew she was a vampire; he still loved and her and missed her. Then he also said he kept her letter with him at all times. Why would he still feel that way for a 'filthy bloodsucker', I mean, friendship only goes so far. In BD, Jake and Bella felt a special connection through Nessie in Bella's womb; even before first sight, they had that special imprinting bond, which I tried to foreshadow a bit in this story.

**Refresher:**

After Jacob starts avoiding her in New Moon, Bella runs away. After being changed into a vampire, she joins the Volturi. Recently, they had a battle in Forks against Victoria and her newborn army, where Charlie was killed, Bella saved Bree, and Jake agreed to Aro's offer of being a guard dog, after imprinting on Bella.

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**CHAPTER Twenty Two**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

It was an interesting flight to say the least. I have to say I was glad there were no empaths there; they'd probably be ready to strangle me with my wide range of emotions.

I was feeling sad, guilty, helpless, like a disappointment, hurt to the core, torn apart, thankful, confident, pleased, happy, loved, hated... the list goes on.

In the course of three or so hours, my father had died. I pretty much adopted myself a sister, and I have learned my best friend Jake is a werewolf, not to mention he's coming to live with a coven of vampires. As if that's not enough stress already.

We were on the plane; Jane was glaring at Jacob, and Alec was somewhat trying to hide his disgust. It was easy to tell the other Volturi members weren't too please with him being here. Maybe it's the smell?

Why would Aro want him here if the other Volturi members obviously hate werewolves so much? Although, I heard something in Aro's head about them being 'shape shifters', not werewolves—whatever that means. I still don't overly understand Aro's ideas for Jake, but he seems to be avoiding my touch. From what I've caught, it seems harmless enough. Maybe he just doesn't like me searching his head to see all his plans—no one else has ever done that to him before. I know for sure that _I_ wouldn't like it.

Jake was on the right of me towards the window, and Bree on my left. She was a shy girl, but sweet. I could tell that she and I were going to be good friends. I was more interested in Jake than Bree at the moment, however.

"So, Jake...you're a werewolf?" I asked him once we were on the plane. I didn't know where else to start. _So, how you've been since I left you, attempting to become an immortal as well as find my exboyfriend who obviously dislikes me, who you spent forever trying to help me get over? _But then again, it wasn't only _my_ fault I left—he was guilty too. He could have at least been civil to me. If he had, I doubt I would've left. I would still be human, Charlie would be alive, and Jake would be back in La Push with his family. And Dylan wouldn't be dead. I wouldn't be a murderer.

It's too bad that in life, there's no turning back.

"Uhm, yeah..." he replied, somewhat awkwardly.

"Oh...that's...interesting." I stated, just as awkwardly.

"Yeah."

"So, when did that happen? Or have you always been one?" I questioned, an undercurrent of anger in my voice. Maybe he _was_ always a mythical creature, and all the time I thought we were close he never bothered to tell me. Then again, I never told him my ex was a vampire.

I winced. It hurt to call him that...but, that's what he is to me. I was no good for him; he wanted his _distractions_. Well, I hope he's happy. Really. Alice, too. And Jasper, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle...even Rosalie.

"Two weeks before you left." He stated, somewhat coldly. I sat, stunned. _Two weeks before I left_. Was that why he avoided me? He couldn't be around me because of what he became? Did he not want me to know? Why wouldn't he have told me?

At least now he appears to have somewhat of an alibi for avoiding me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I questioned.

"I wasn't allowed to. Sam is head of the pack, and he ordered that no one outside of the pack, elders, and those we imprint on, can know. No one can go against the alpha's—Sam's—orders. It's not physically possible." He told me. I wondered what meant by '_those we imprint on'_, but I had more pressing questions to ask.

"Well, couldn't you have still seen me in human form? It's not like I would've known what you are; I'd just assume you had another growth spurt. Besides, everyone in La Push would see your changes..." I trailed off, thinking about it.

"It was dangerous. I was a new werewolf, Bella. I wasn't allowed to see you—it wasn't safe. You see, when we first phase...turn into wolf form...it takes days for us to have a good enough control on our temper to phase back to human form. We're a lot easier to anger; you'll notice we're trying not to phase—or that we _are_ just about to phase—when our body is trembling. It's very dangerous. I was...scared you wouldn't accept me. I was afraid that if you didn't accept me, or said something that rubbed me the wrong way, that I'd phase and hurt you. I could've so easily killed you when you were human like that.

I wasn't allowed to due to Sam's orders, anyways, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to. I went around your house every night to make sure you were okay, and I was constantly trying to change Sam's mind about him not letting me see you. When I got enough control, I was planning on finding _some_ way to see you, anyways. Well, at least until you left and this happened..." He trailed off, suddenly unable to look at me.

"_Oh_._" _I responded quietly, barely able to be heard even with hearing as advanced as our own. _What do you say when you find out the person you thought was avoiding you, was really protecting you? What if you found out your best friend, someone you loved, who had left you and avoided you at all costs, confessed that they did it for your protection?_

I know it wasn't just for my protection, but their's too. Even so, he cared so deeply for me. He tried to protect me and watch over me even when he was ordered to stay away from me. I thought he had hated me, for always wanting just friendship when he wanted so much more.

Could he still want more than friendship? I really hope not...I'm still not anymore healed than I was before I left. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over him.

I wonder if there's many werewolve/vampire relationships out there...the other Volturi members don't seem too fond of him. Maybe it's just because of his smell? It will take a lot to get used to—I'm only able to breathe minimally and I have to keep subtly mixing his scent with wafts of fresh air. Of course, I don't have to breathe at all, but I truly lose a major one of my senses by doing that.

I am growing somewhat accustomed to his scent—at least, enough to not have a gagging reflex. I haven't thrown up since I was human, although I do know vampires vomit if they eat human food. I bet Jake wouldn't be too happy to know his presence was making me want to throw up—but it's not my fault if he smells horribly like wet dog. At least the repulsive smell seems to go both ways—he doesn't appear too fond of mine scent either.

I was lost in thought about Jacob and all he had told me—I had barely realized, even with all the extra space in my head, that time was passing.

"Bella, why did you leave?" Jake prompted. I bit my lip subconsciously.

I didn't want to answer that. I still had more questions for him—not that I wanted to answer his question any which way.

"Uh...I'm sure you read Charlie's note." I stated, with a wince at saying Charlie's name, trying to weasel my way away from the subject. I knew I couldn't though; we had to get all of this out of the way before we could talk happy and carefree the way we used to...if we ever can again.

"I did. And the note you carved into your floor..." he replied, wearing a mask of apathy I had already learned to hate so well. If it weren't for the slight edge of pain on the tip of his tongue, I wouldn't have thought he really cared.

_Shoot_. What do I say to that? I never wanted him to see either or those notes, although I assumed he would see Charlie's. However, I was notexpecting him to have extreme senses like I have now, and pick out the scent of my blood that I cut leaking out of my veins...

"Then shouldn't you know why I left?" I asked, innocently. It was so much easier dancing around the edges than actually cutting to the chase.

"From what I've read and filled in myself, it seems like you were upset because the _bloodsucker _left you. He screwed you over so bad that you could barely function. He hurt you, he hurt you _so _much...and you never got over it. I tried, Bella. I tried so hard to help you, but you wouldn't let go of him. And that's why you're here now, why I'm here. All because of that _leech_. You say you can't handle life without him, that nothing matters without him.

You left to find _him_. You left for answers, explanations...you left hoping to move on, but you don't realize that will only hurt you worse! He made it clear he didn't want you, the _stupid brute_. Finding him won't make any difference, he'll just reiterate what he said before—what left you so traumatized and anguished in the forest.

I know you haven't told me everything, but I do know the pain that it left so evidently in your eyes—the pain that is _still_ behind your crimson irises. The pain etched into your now chime-like voice...the way you move, talk, think...they all reflect _pain. _They all reflect _him_. Yet, here you left your entire life behind—your friends, your family, your _mortality_—all for that _filthy tick_ that crushed everything good in your life. He hurt you so bad, Bella. He is the reason why all you ever feel anymore is _frikken pain_!" Jake exclaimed, angrily, his frame quivering in his rage.

I stared at him, stunned. He was right, _so_ right. He hit the nail head on—and it hurt so bad to hear it from someone else. I can't believe I was so easy to read, every unwritten pain in my life Jacob knew. He knows everything. Maybe not exactly what _he_ said when he left, or how amazing it felt when he would kiss me, or when I'd awake to his cold arms wrapped around my small body...but he still knew how much I loved him, and how much pain he has inflicted!

You know what, Jake's right. _Screw Edward_. Screw all the empty promises, the false touches, the fake emotion and pretend feelings. Screw him and his whole family who couldn't care enough to say goodbye. Screw him and everything about him. Screw all the pain he has caused me, the nightmares, my mortality, losing Jake, Charlie's death, my nearly getting raped by Chris, Dylan's murder, Jane's many glares...

Jake is so, so right. Why have I been so blind? The answer has been so clear, just in those two simple words: _screw Edward_.

But, what do I do now? I'll never get older, I'll never see my friends again, I can never go back to Renee and Phil, Charlie's dead...I've ruined everything. _He_ ruined everything. _Screw him_.

But, what do I do now? I could always give in to the feelings Jake has—or had—for me. However, Jake may be a werewolf, but I have a feeling that even he will die someday—if I could ever love him, which I won't. Because he's not Edward.

Edward has cursed me into a life of pain and suffering, never having hope, happiness, or love...because I can never love anyone who's not him. And _h_e will never love me.

I was so lost in my self-hate, misery, self-pity, self-disgust, pain, anguish, and pure confusion, that I hadn't realized the entire Volturian guard was staring back and forth between Jacob and I—they had heard Jake's whole revelation, every word. The reason I left, the reason I'm here, my innermost battles and problems all laid out for them to see. All because of Jacob. _Screw Jacob too_!

Screw everyone, really. Because no one cares about me anymore. Everyone just wants to cause me pain. And I have no reason to live anymore. For the first time in my life—mortal or immortal—I wish death would be as easy as swallowing down a vial of plant extracts. Sadly, it's not. And I'll never die. And it's all my fault—no one else's.

Screw _me_. My naivety, my trust, my blind love, my flawed plan—I _hate_ myself. I have never hated anyone more.

I felt Bree reach over and wrap her arm around my shoulders, sensing my distress. I instantly lost the feelings of hate, confusion, pain....everything I had been feeling and could possibly feel, they were all gone. Everything was replaced by the beautiful numbness I thought I lost so long ago.

_Welcome back my apathetic self._

More time passed, but I paid it no heed. I was aware of the sun moving down in the sky, the moon appearing to brighten, the lessening of Jake's tremors, the guard's silence slowly beginning to fade...I was aware of it all, yet so unaware. So blissfully unaware.

**Part 2: Jake's POV**

She still wasn't saying anything. I had seen so many emotions pass through her eyes after I said those words—anger, hate, bitterness, fear, sadness, pain...but now all that's left is numbness. Just like months ago when she came to me that day, asking for help fixing those motorcycles. The look in her eyes I never wanted to see again. It has resurfaced. And it's my fault. I shouldn't have been so harsh—but it's true, and she needed to know.

I wasn't feeling very comfortable. I was flooded with the stench of leeches, making me feel sick to my stomach. I kept catching them turning around and staring at me, trying to get glimpses of the werewolve who was now unfortunately a part of their lives. Not to mention they seemed rather interested in what I had to say to Bella. Filthy bloodsuckers. Why can't they just mind their own business?

The other red eyed vamp—Bree, I think her name was—still had her arm around Bella, trying to comfort her. Bella didn't need comforting right now, though—the look in her eyes was dead; numb; hollow. Frikken Edward Cullen—one day I will find him, and make him hurt worse than he's hurt Bella for all he's done!

The sky was starting to fall in the sky, and I was starting to feel tired. I hadn't got much sleep lately due to trying to protect our territory from the redhead, but it didn't seem a good place to sleep here in a jet full of my mortal enemies. Or, are they still my enemies? I know Bella's not; she's good...but what about the rest of them? I was asked to come here by one of their leaders, Aro, so would we still be enemies, or are we allies now?

"Bella?" I finally questioned, frustrated by the silence and the dead look in her eyes. She slowly turned her head towards me, hitting me with full sight of her unfeeling eyes. Bree patted her a couple times, then released her hold. Bella's eyes slowly lost the empty look as she stared at me, trying to collect her thoughts.

The seconds dragged on like hours, and waiting was the most excruciating thing I had ever done in my life.

"Bella...?" I urged again, beckoning her to speak.

"_Sorry._" That was all she said, one word, but it was laced in sadness and regret, and wholly in truth. I didn't know what she was sorry for—whether it was her long silence, her realizations form the harsh words I had said to her, or something completely different altogether. Whatever she was apologizing for, though, I easily forgave her. Nothing would ever make me stop loving her.

"What for, Bells?" I asked sincerely.

"Everything. For not realizing that there may have been other reasons you avoided me, for never being able to get over the man who clearly doesn't love me, for what I've become, for what I've made you do, for killing Charlie, for everything I've screwed up...I'm sorry. I'm so, _so_ sorry. I just...I'll never be able to say it enough." She choked out, her words pained and quiet.

"Bella!" I exclaimed, surprised that she could blame herself for everything. "You had every reason to believe I was avoiding you because I didn't want to be your friend anymore; that's what you were supposed to think, even if it wasn't true. And it's not your fault you can't get over that _leech_...it's _his_ fault for the haunted look you always had in your eyes, for your screaming and crying in your nightmares, for your distance from everyone, for the pain always evident in your eyes and voice and movements. It's no one's fault but _his_. Don't think it's your '_fault_' I'm here with you now; if I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be here. But, I want to be here—with you. You're the only person that makes me truly happy—mortal or immortal. And never, _ever_ blame yourself for Charlie's death! _You_ did not kill him! You tried to save him! It's the bloodsuckers fault for what happened to him, for the redhead wanting to take her revenge out on you to hurt him. Not that he'd give a second thought to you...the _filthy, bloodsucking..._ It's not your fault. You didn't know she was still out there, you didn't know she wanted to hurt you. You had no idea Charlie wouldn't be safe; if anything, you thought he'd be safer if you left, taking all your connections with vampires away with you. Bells, please, don't blame yourself. You did what you thought was best, and even if it may not have been best in the end, what's done is done, don't kick yourself for it. I understand everything you did and why you did it, Bells, so please...just relax. Stop blaming yourself." I told her, pleading silently with my eyes for her to understand. I reached over to her hand—and although the icy temperature felt like needles piercing through my flaming skin, it still felt comfortable; right.

"Thanks." She replied, staring into my eyes. There were still so many things to say, to ask, to discuss...there was so much I wanted to learn about her, for her to learn about me. However, it was nice to just bask and revel in the comfortable silence that enveloped us.

I was with Bella, and that's all that mattered.

* * *

**Ok, so this was kinda just fluff.... but I'll definetly write more soon! Exams start this week.... (ugh) but they'll be done by the tuesday after next.. (the 27th) So I'm definetly going to write at least one more chapter before then (hopefully more!), but after exams I'll start writting more frequently, I promise!! haha**

**Review, please! :)**


	23. A New Home

**Chapter Twenty One**

Enjoy this longer chapter! I've been writting it randomly throughout the week... (and, of course, putting off homework...and exam studying...)

**Refresher:**

After Jacob starts avoiding her in New Moon, Bella runs away. After being changed into a vampire, she joins the Volturi. Recently, they had a battle in Forks against Victoria and her newborn army, where Charlie was killed, Bella saved Bree, and Jake agreed to Aro's offer of being a guard dog, after imprinting on Bella.

* * *

**CHAPTER Twenty Three**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

The plane finally landed. I smiled at Bree, and we began to depart. It was amazing the bond we already had, when all we've said to each other only amount to a few words. It's the unspoken words between us, though, that have bonded us so tightly. Something about her draws me to her; she seems so vulnerable, yet like she's trying to hide it behind a hard exterior at the same time. I hope we have a chance to talk sometime soon.

Jake followed behind me, his blazing hand still holding mine. I never knew human's hands were so hot! It felt like he was literally burning through me. How could Edward stand touching me if I was always so scorching hot? I don't know how I'm managing to touch Jake as is, although he seemed to notice the difference in temperature between our skins. Edward's touch was always so cold; could that be my touch to Jacob now? Does it feel comforting and soothing to him like Edward's hand did to mine, or does the difference in our body heat shock him like it does me? He is certainly hiding it well if it does.

I could feel the other Volturi's stares burning holes in my back, yet I kept my eyes firmly forwards. Of _course_ they're staring; how often does your mortal enemy join you as an ally in conquering evil? I must say, the mythical world seems rather twisted and unknown. At least it beats the tedium of gloomy, repetitive school days.

Bree took my left hand, Jake my right, and we walked out of the jet and down into the dark tunnels of Volterra's underground. Both their faces were full of awe and curiosity, and of course, hints of fear. It's a very dark and intimidating place; the first time I walked down it with Marcus I could feel the hair on the back of my neck standing on end; even vampires get scared.

Now it was time to face the rest of the Volturi— Marcus, Felix, Heidi, Corin, and Santiago. I wonder what Marcus will think of my quickly growing bond with Bree, and my odd, confusing relationship with Jake. Perhaps I'll have to borrow his ability to see exactly what he see's...it might give me some insight as to whether Jake still feels the same way he did for me then as he does for me now.

Aro, Cauis, Jane, Alec, Demetri, Eleazer, Renata, Afton, Chelsea, Bree, Jake, and I made our way to the stone meeting room. I enjoyed watching Bree and Jake's curious expressions as they gazed around our massive fortress, trying to decide exactly which details to focus on. Bree was clearly nervous, scared, and ultimately feeling very small. Jake was nervous, also, as well as curious, and perhaps a bit repulsed? At least, that's the vibe I got as I watched him inspect the citadel.

We filed into the room, standing in a large, spacey circle. I realize this wouldn't be comfortable for Jacob, so in a flash I grabbed him one of the chairs line in rows in the back of the room; sometimes we felt like sitting for a change instead of standing.

Jake nodded once at me in thanks, but took no move to take a seat. I realized he must feel uncomfortable being the only one sitting, so I sped back over and stacked up enough chairs for the rest of the guard, and the trio too. Chelsea, Afton, Heidi, Alec, and Felix all thanked me for their chairs, the rest just took them silently, most likely confused as to the need for them.

As soon as we were all seated, Aro began to talk. "Welcome all!" He began excitedly, staring at each unenthused face. "As you all know, we've just got back from fighting a newborn army. However, it was entirely different than we anticipated..." I watched as the various vampires soon focused their attention intently on Aro, curious as to exactly what went down out in the meadow.

"The leader of the army was an old vampire named Victoria. She knew Bella," he paused as he heard the surprised gasps of a couple of the vamps that couldn't come with us, and even some of those with us who hadn't entirely known what had happened.

"Would you explain, Bella? I think you would be able to tell the story best." Aro said, looking at me seriously. I swallowed hard, realizing the action was pointless; the venom felt completely wrong grinding down my throat.

Could I manage to tell them what happened? Exactly who she was, and why she wanted me? The intimate details of my past, the past I left behind, the past I tried to run from and bury deep beneath the soils of my life? Yes. Yes I could. I'm strong. I can handle this.

"Yes, okay," I squeaked out, although the noise still sounded like chimes. I took in a deep, unneeded breath as I steadied myself for the story, forcing my voice to come out strong.

"I used to live in Forks. I went to the local high school, where there was also five beautiful, pale, graceful, golden-eyed siblings. They were part of the Cullen family, or, you may know them as the Olympic Clan. I happened to be what you would call Edward's _la tua cantante_; his singer. He had to battle his thirst as we sat side-by-side in biology, and he didn't come back for a week. After that he made an attempt to be friendlier to me, and we began to talk more. He was always cryptic in what he said, however, and hinted repeatedly that it would be better if we weren't friends. I began to pick up on odd things he would do, things that made him and his siblings stand out from the rest of the student body. I'm perceptive, and on top of that, he interested me...so I watched him closely. He saved me from a car running over me, and that was when he really blew his cover. However, if he had of let the van crush me he would have blown his cover anyways, because he wouldn't have been able to restrain himself from by blood.

Well, anyways, I noticed his icy hands, his fast speed, the way he talked using cadences from earlier centuries, and how he seemed to always know what others were thinking—except me. I was in La Push, the reserve next to Forks, when I found out what they truly were. I was talking to this boy, Jake, and he inadvertently told me what they are; I in a way tricked it out of him, after first catching another boy from the reserve tell a girl in my group that the Cullens don't come there. It sounded like they weren't allowed there, so I went digging for more information. Jake wasn't supposed to tell me, but he thought they were just old fake legends, myths. After all, we _are_ mythical creatures. Anyways, I decided that I'd rather love Edward, a vampire, and risk my safety than live without him. He learned that I knew his secret after saving me from being raped and murdered by a gang in Port Angeles. After that we began to become closer, and we ended up 'dating'—or whatever you want to call what we had.

However, we ran into three red eyed vampires one day when his family were playing baseball in a thunderstorm. The leader of the coven, James, was a tracker, and it was like a game to him to track down humans vampires were fond of, and then torture them and kill them. We schemed how to get away from them, and broke up into three groups. Unfortunately, they outsmarted us and James found me, or, I suppose you could say I found him, because I went looking for him when he said he was holding my mom captive. When we met, however, I found out it was a hoax to get to me. He broke my leg and ribs and smashed me into a mirror, leaving my head bleeding. Finally, he bit me, unable to refrain from my blood that was flowing so easily. That's when the Cullens showed up and saved me, killing him, and Edward sucking the venom back out of my blood. That was the third time he saved me from death.

It all changed after my eighteenth birthday. I was at the Cullen's for a party Alice planned, and got a paper cut on one of the gifts. Edward realized that Jasper, the newest Cullen to the 'vegetarian' life, was going to struggle with my blood. Edward smashed me away from him, tossing me into the glass table. The shards cut through the skin on my arms leaving long gashes. All the vampires but Cullen were after me, desperate for my blood to roll down their burning throats...

Carlisle stopped them, however, and stitched me up. Edward became more detached after that, I don't know why. I can only assume guilt, and regret, and the realization that I'm only human—a weak, helpless human. He walked me into the forest one day and told me that I'm no good for him, that his world is not for me, that he was leaving and didn't want me to come with him, that it will be as if he never existed, and that I was no good for him. He left me, before I even had a chance to say good bye to him or his family. He took all remnants of our life together from my home, and I was practically comatose.

Jacob saved me. He helped me stay in one piece, and made me truly smile. But then, he started avoiding me. I realized that he must not like me because I'm so pitiful and weak; I decided the best thing for me to would be to leave. To find someone to change me, track down and get some and answers and closure from the Cullens, and then live a long life alone. I went to Juneau to find Laurent; a member of the coven James had been a leader of. Laurent had left the clan when James decided to go after me. Anyways, I found Laurent and he agreed to change me, although I soon found out it was just so he could get a reward from you guys for getting me to join the Volturi—he knew that I would have special abilities.

Well, anyways, when we went to Forks today Victoria was there—James' mate, the other vampire from the original coven of three. She wanted me, thinking that I was still Edward's mate, and that the best way to get back at him for killing James was to kill me—mate for mate. She wanted him to feel the same pain she was feeling.

She was there with an army of newborns, who were fighting a pack of werewolves. Which, apparently that is the reason Jake was avoiding me before I ran away—I couldn't see him as a young werewolve, I couldn't be put at risk, or be trusted with their secret.

Victoria had my father as a hostage, thinking I was still with the Cullens and that Alice would catch a vision of it. Victoria killed him when she saw me, and then I killed her. We took down the army, and we left the pack in peace, although Jake took up Aro's offer on joining the Volturi for one year as a 'guard dog'.

Oh, and this is Bree," I motioned towards the shocked girl to the left of me, "she was with the newborn army, and she surrendered. I saved her, and she will be staying with us." I finished, looking around the circle.

I realized I had not gotten to talking to Jake about exactly what happened with Edward, but now he knew everything. And he was shocked. Probably infuriated, also, even more so than he already was with Edward.

Chelsea looked sympathetic, and sorry for me. Her motherly instincts were taking over, and I could tell she was fighting the urge of coming over here and soothing me. She realized that it wouldn't be proper for a meeting such as this, however.

Afton looked supportive, although surprised. Alec already knew my story, although he still looked sad and sorry at what happened, and with the whole incident in the meadow.

Marcus was wearing his typical mask of apathy, although I thought I saw small signs of surprise by the way his eyebrows were pulled up. Aro and Cauis were looking at me curiously, although Aro already knew my story and had pieced together what he didn't know, and most likely already told Cauis.

Jane was surprisingly not glaring at me, but was looking at me with something that looked close to pity—which I'd trade for glaring any day—and the occasional glance at Jake where she would display her disgust clearly. I could tell she was itching to use her little talent on him...but if she so much as made an indication of acting on those ideas, I'd whip out her ability and send her writhing on the ground instead.

Felix was looking at me sadly, with the typical shock the others had, and looked like he was trying to keep from grinning at Jake. I knew Felix—he was probably planning on seeing what it would be like to tackle a werewolf.

Santiago, Corin and Renata were simply shocked, slightly disgusted, and remorseful—the feelings most of those around me had. Heidi's feelings were stronger, yet still were full of the same emotions the others felt. Eleazer had the same emotions as the rest, but he also looked as though calculating at the same time.

Finally, Felix broke the silence. "Why would you bring a werewolf here?" He asked, confused. His voice surprisingly held no animosity, but was rather full of child-like curiosity and excitement at the prospect of play fighting the werewolf. Even with the excitement and happy thoughts he was thinking, I still caught the small movements that indicated Jake slightly repulsed him.

"He is not a werewolf," he began, addressing the many disgusted members of the guard, who now looked at him incredulously. I was itching to walk over to Aro and touch him, to search through the many layers of his thoughts. How could he say Jake is not a werewolf, when he most obviously looked like one? Well, maybe not right now in his human form, but it was still obvious.

"Look closely, my friends. This man could walk freely in the sunlight, his bite does not change those around him into werewolves, he doesn't need a full moon to transform, he travels in pack... he is not one of the children of the moon." Aro stopped, dramatically. He always loves the attention. We, on the other hand, were all staring at him dubiously, most of which were probably questioning his sanity.

"He is a shape-shifter, not a werewolf. You all know that werewolves are our mortal enemies, friends, yet he is not a werewolf. What he is was born into him; it is passed through genes and ancestors. They call themselves 'protectors', and the reason they exist in Forks was because of our kind. They may not be our mortal enemies, but we are still very well a threat to them. We prey on their people, whom they protect, thus the reason they exist is because we do.

However, we do not hurt innocent people. We, as well as the shape-shifters, defend our people and keep them safe. We hold the law up firm and ensure that everything runs smoothly. I have asked this young man and shape-shifter, Jacob Black, to join our team, because I think having someone like him to help us fight and guard would be helpful. If we ever need to destroy a vampire, he can help. That is what he is born to do." Aro stated, proud at his idea.

"I saw him out in the field! He and his pack sure _look_ like werewolves!" Jane scoffed.

"Yes, they do have uncanny similarities, but the fact of the matter is they are different. The choice of a wolf form was purely chance. It could have been a bear or a hawk or a panther when the first change was made. However, it happened to be a wolf form. He is still not a threat to us, he is not one of our mortal enemies whom we've hunted to near extinction in Europe and Asia. He is a shape-shifter, and he could be quite beneficial to us." Aro proclaimed, smiling.

Jane continued to glare at Jake, and Cauis did so as well. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, and gave his burning hand a tight squeeze.

"Well, you certainly have an _interesting_ relationship with this _'shape-shifter'_." Marcus commented, speaking in a quiet conversational voice. It took all my strength to not openly gape at him.

I wondered why no one else seemed stunned at his sudden decision to speak. Aro chuckled at my bewildered expression and quickly explained, "Ah, Bella, you look so surprised! Don't you know our dear brother Marcus can speak? He just only chooses to when he feels like it, like now when he has something interesting to say."

"Oh," was my staggered reply, before I directed my upcoming questioned to Marcus, "Why do you say Jake and I have such an interesting relationship?" I questioned, putting emphasis on the way he had focused on the word 'interesting'.

Marcus replied tiredly, as if he were doing me a mighty favour for replying. Which, I suppose he was, given the fact he rarely ever talks. "He clearly would do anything for you; he loves you so deeply that even I cannot find the words to express it. It's odd, really, it reminds me of a vampire and his mate; they are permanently attached to each other forever. He is like this to you; it is as though is whole world revolves only around you. The strange thing, though, is your feeling towards him. You feel very protective of him, like his mother or older sister. You certainly love him like a brother, and think of him highly. You consider him loyal, truthful, and a good friend. However, you have absolutely no traces of the romantic love that he so overwhelmingly feels for you." Marcus concluded, seemingly satisfied in his response. I had never actually heard him analyze the strengths of those around him's relationships, but I was slightly awed.

I didn't have long to feel that way, though, as the onslaught of the information he has just told me crept in. What I so badly hoped not to be true was—Jake still loved me. Human or inhuman, living or dead, mortal or immortal, he still loved me. And not just a little bit—clearly he loves me in an indescribable amount. How can I crush his every feeling so terribly as I would if I continue to deny him? He left everything for me, he'd do anything for me, yet I am in no way capable of feeling for him as he does for me. Will that hurt him? Of course it will. Will he get over it? Will he finally realize we are only meant to be friends? Or will I continued to hurt him more and more?

"So, are you going back to find that Edward guy then? Wasn't that your plan?" Felix questioned, interrupting my thoughts.

"I...I don't know. I mean, I would like to find him eventually... but I'm not ready to deal with it right now. I guess I need more time to adjust." I admitted. I knew I could've left to go find the Cullens long ago, but I also know that I'll be a lonely nomad once he repeats to me how much he really doesn't want me (and perhaps he'll get mad at me for becoming one of him. He never liked the idea of me being around for eternity).

My best option is to stay here with the Volturi, serve my people, build strength and restraint, let my crimson eyes turn topaz and just become strong in who I am. I need to learn who I am _now_, my morals now as a vampire, my wishes and dreams and aspirations for my long life. Eventually, I'll have this all figure out...and sooner or later I'm going to have to face Edward. Not yet, though. I'm not ready.

"When you're 'adjusted', are you just going to leave us all behind and meet up with him?" Felix asked, sounded disappointed and a tad angry.

"No. For one, I know he won't want me, so it's not like I'll be staying there long anyways. For another, I love it here. You guys are my family now." I explained. Of course, they don't exactly _feel_ like family the way the Cullens did, but I hear its uncommon for that kind of relationship amongst those who drink human blood. We are closer than most clans, however, because of our mission to defend our kind and keep the peace.

Felix smiled, and leaned over the few chair between us to reach out and ruffle my hair. I glared at him, but couldn't hold back my smile. Felix is like my big brother; protector, comforter, and friend.

"So, where will the wer..._shape-shifter_ be staying?" Demetri asked of Aro and Cauis.

"The room beside Bella's. Isabella will be sharing a room with Bree already, and it will be better for him to have his own room. We'll have to get an actual bed put in that room soon for him." Aro told us. I noticed the guard's eye's flickering between Jacob and I, confused and somewhat repulsed expressions on their faces.

"Why does he need a bed?" Chelsea finally spoke up. It was then that I realized why they all looked so taken aback, and I stifled a laugh. I was grateful to Chelsea for saying that, even though she didn't need to. She's the protective mother I need and miss.

"He needs his sleep, dear Chelsea." Aro informed her with an amused smirk. If vampires could blush, both her and I would have been beet red by then.

"Werewolves _sleep_?!" Demetri asked incredulously.

"Shape-shifters, my dear friend. And yes, they do sleep. They are essentially humans who can turn, or _shift_ their shapes into that of a werewolf. They can get tired, and exhausted, and they need to sleep. They also need food—not blood like us." Aro informed.

"So we're going to have to cook the _dog_ human food?!" Jane demanded, revolted.

"No. Although he is man and eats human food, he is also half wolf, and can thus survive on raw meat. It might fare well better with Bella—she can drink the blood, _her Jacob_ can eat the flesh, and then not as many as Bella's _precious animals_ need be harmed." Aro added, with an amused sneer. I rolled my eyes. It frustrated me at how constantly they mocked me for my diet.

"So, tell us more about the newborn." Felix interjected, nodding his head in Bree's direction.

"Well, when we went to destroy the newborns Bella seemed to take a liking to Bree, and refused to let us kill her. She will be sharing Isabella's accommodations and Bella has complete responsibility for her." Aro informed the group.

"_Bella _refused to let you kill the girl?" Demetri snickered, and Cauis flashed him a smirk.

"Yes, master, I did. She had done nothing wrong—she did not truly know the rules of the vampire world, and those rules she did now she didn't fully understand. She was born into the war Victoria had created, and she had no chance to learn the proper ways a vampire should live." I informed him, biting my tongue to keep from yelling at him for the innocent deaths of the other newborns.

"You are not the judge of right and wrong, _Isabella_." Cauis spat.

"Now, now Cauis. Bella has a point—the newborns truly had no chance in learning the proper ways of our world. However, it is not our job to teach all newborns that, it is their creator's responsibility. If the creator fails in that, it means their death, and unfortunately the newborns too. We have a society to hold up and we must stay hidden at all costs. It may not be fair that innocent people die, but as the saying goes _life isn't fair_. Or, whatever it is we call our presence in this world.

But, as I was saying, we can't save all the innocent people out there. Bella has stepped up and offered to take care of the newborn here, Bree. Thus, she will be staying with us for the time being, until she chooses to depart." Aro informed us.

"Does she have any special abilities?" Afton asked, directing his question to Eleazer.

"I checked all the newborns at the fields for special talents that we could use, and none had very powerful gifts. This one, however, has a couple of small abilities. They aren't useful to us, as we already have Afton and Alec—whose gifts are infinitely more powerful. One of her gifts is the ability to feel numb. I am unsure exactly what the gift entails, but it seems as though she can make herself feel numb when desired, and those around her. It is not powerful enough to actually keep those around her numb if they fight against it, unlike Alec's gift. As well, it does not cut of all senses, but simply leaves the person with no feelings whatsoever. I find no purpose to this gift, but it is certainly interesting. Her other gift I find rather...entertaining. It is of little to no use at all, and seems rather...meaningless. She can choose, when she so desires, to blend into the scenery around her—like a chameleon. However, you could still hear her movements and smell her scent, so it wouldn't make any difference to vampires. It could possibly make it easier for catching prey, however. That's the only thing I could think it would be useful for, but even then, prey is easy enough to catch as is." Eleazer informed us; you could tell he enjoys discussing abilities.

So, Bree can blend in and feel numb...that sounds...pleasant. I wonder why she has those gifts. Did she enjoy feeling numb and blending into her surroundings in her human life? Maybe she just got these gifts at random. Who knows, they could be useful for something.

"So, Cauis, Aro, about the judgement..." Demetri asked, getting us back on topic.

"Ah, yes. Well, Demetri tracked down the newborn army, which was in Forks, Washington. The leader of the group had Isabella's father, and killed him before she could stop her. Bella took it upon herself to kill the leader, after first using Jane's gift to torture her.

It was not just us at the meadow, however. With Jacob there was a large pack of wolves—ten, to be exact. They were trying to _protect_ their people..." Cauis spat, still repulsed by them, "once Bella killed the leader and Jacob shredded the henchman, then Alec cut off their senses. However, it did not work on the _wolves_. We made an agreement to make judgement on the newborns, as they are our kind. They, of course, were guilty for obviously parading around the fact that they are vampires, not putting the least bit of effort into keeping what they are—or _were_—a secret. Eleazer informed us none of the gifts stood out, and thus justice was served.

Well, except for the one that _high and mighty Bella_ thought should be spared," Cauis shot, glaring at me, "we made an agreement with the wolves to go on our way, although Aro wanted to try having them be our guard dogs—although I personally thought it to be a negative idea. The wolves refused, anyways, except for the one here—Jacob. We then travelled back to the jet, bringing our two _newest recruits_ with us."

"So the dog and the newborn will be joining us in missions?" Heidi asked, not angrily or repulsed, just surprised. Although her choice of words may have portrayed otherwise, but that's just Heidi.

"Yes. We will start training with them tomorrow, as the wolf must sleep at night. I'm also sure that Bree would like a chance to just relax and take this all in. So, thus, meeting ended.

Demetri, would you be so kind as to escort Jacob to his room? It's the one right beside Bella's, although I'm sure she has yet to notice it." Aro asked of Demetri, although it was clear it was an order, not a request.

Demetri easily accepted, and bounded off towards the bed chambers, beckoning us to follow. I took Bree in my left hand, Jake in my right, and we headed to our own personal corridors.

--+--

"Wow, who is _he_?!" Bree asked me, stunned, her eyes glued to one of more recent sketches. I sighed, realizing who it was—and _really_ not wanting to talk about it. But, it was Bree, and I felt she had a right to know. We hadn't known each other very long—less than a day in fact—but I felt as though there was a special connection between us; as thought she was the little sister I've never had.

"That's Edward, Edward Cullen." I stated. I had given her my sketchbook to show her memories of my old human life, but of course sketches of his Adonis body seemed to dominate the book.

"Oh." her excited voice dropped dramatically, now sounding sad and heavily depressed. It was amazing how much she could already care for me. "That's the one from your old town, right? The one who...left..." she whispered quietly. I had to lean forward and really concentrate to even hear it. That surprised me; I was used to hearing most everything perfectly with my vampire hearing. I suppose now many people went around me whispering, though.

I was really touched by how sensitive Bree was being to me, how sweet and considerate she was. I again wondered to myself why her gifts were to be numb and blend in. What had she been like in her human life?

"Yes, that's him. That sketch is of the first time I saw him in the sun...he was breathtaking." I breathed, in awe of her perfection. It sent me a pang of self-hate, realizing how very stupid and naive I was to think someone as _perfect_ as _him_ could ever be interested in plain, boring, simple _me_. I suppose he probably never was. He probably only gave me the time of day because my mind's silence irked him, and my blood was so alluring.

Bree continued to flip through my book. I had drawn any memory I could possibly think of—human memories really were fading fast. I always kept a sketchbook on me, just in case I remembered something so I could sketch it down before I forgot.

I had captioned all the pictures, explaining what was happening just in case in future time I wouldn't be able to remember.

There was the cold glare Edward gave me the first day of school. His friendly smile the next week when he returned from his absence. His worried face as he was saving me from being crushed by the van. The men in Port Angeles hovering around me, and his silver Volvo roaring through the street. His eyes avoiding the overly flirtatious waitress. The first time he gave me his jacket to wear. When he caressed my cheek before gym after that wretched movie in Biology. Our first kiss. The many nights we slept together in my room. His desperation and concern the first time he left me when James' clan was after me. His anger, pain, and pain when he saw me lying idle on the ballet studio floor. His bright smile when I awoke in the hospital. Taking me to prom in my bulky cast. Staring into his loving face as he whispered Romeo's lines into my ears the day of my eighteenth birthday. When he smiled at me, opening my presents. His fury as he tried to protect me from Jasper. His desolation the days following that. Finally his cold, detached self as he told me the words that invalidated all he had ever told me that one day in the forest...

Every memory I possibly have of him I sketched down, even things as little as the way he would rub his hand through his hair when he was nervous, or his dazzling crooked smile. I had spent hours and hours practicing and perfecting my drawing, then hours more after that actually putting my memories on paper. Now I have countless pages of memories from my past—all of things that make my heart break. I'd rather have a broken heart then to ever let myself forget. Who I am now is because of who I was then.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry or be rude...but why did he leave you in forest like that? Without any warning... I mean, sure, he was acting detached...but how could he just break it off so suddenly? And why would he do it when everything had been fine?" she questioned me, nervous of upsetting me, but wanting to know the truth. She wanted to _know _me, and _really_ know me...and I wanted her to, too.

"He told me he was no good for me, but he was wrong. He was perfect for me. He told me my world was not for him. He always was nervous of me knowing about his world—he was scared for my safety. First with almost being killed by James, and then his own brother. He was vehemently against me being changed," I took a glance at her confused expression, and reworded, "—being turning into a vampire. He thought that vampires have no souls—which I _know_ isn't true. I just wish I had some way to prove it to him..." I wandered off in thought.

"Anyways, he told me that he and his family were leaving, and that he didn't want me to come with him. He said that he'll always love me, '_in a way_'. He then told me the same thing he said earlier, but changed the words around—he told me I was no good for him. And it was so true.

He promised that that would be that last time I would ever see him; he said he wasn't going to come back, or put me through anything '_like that_' again. He said I'd be free to go on with my life without any more interference from him. He told me it will be as if he never existed... which, when I got back to my house, he took away my every memory of him. The presents his family gave me, the pictures of him the CD he made me..._everything_. Well, except the radio that was in my truck...

He told me not to worry; I'm human and that my memory was no more than a sieve. He told me, '_time heals all wounds for your kind_'. Little does he know I'm not human anymore...and even though the human memories are fading, I'll never be able to forget him for all of my eternal life...

He told me what he won't forget me, but that his kind are easily distracted. Then he left me. I couldn't even say goodbye to him, or his family—my best friend...they all got up and left. They left me behind..." I choked out.

Bree got up then; she left her spot next to the hearth and sat on the floor beside me, comforting me. I smiled weakly at her.

"I...I don't know why he left. I just know what he told me. My gift...it blocked other vampire's abilities from touching my mind when I was human. I think that's what got him interested in me, that and the fact my blood was especially tempting to him. I think he was only interested in my because of that. Then, as we became friends, perhaps her became curious as to what it would be like to be _with_ a human. I can't help but feel like I was some sort of experiment to him.

I do think—_know_ that he cared for me at one time or another, but he eventually had to realize that I'm only human, after all. I think Jasper almost killing me was his wake up call. He realized that I was weak, plain, boring...that I would age, get sick, die. I wasn't part of his world, and he didn't want to be stuck with me for eternity.

I have so many theories...so many ideas...but they just lead to more questions and more theories. It's an endless cycle where I get nowhere. I just wish I had _actual answers_." I sighed, forever upset that I couldn't at least know they reason _why_ he left. It was déjà vu to when we first met; he was so cryptic—I always had more questions to him after I talked to him then I did before. That's what it's like now; the more I question why he left, the more questions I think of.

Bree gave me a tight hug, reassuring me. "Why don't you go find him, then? You said that's why you left—to find him; to get your answers. You have the radio—you have his scent. Aro knows his family. You have a picture of them...and plenty of sketches...it wouldn't be that hard to find him. Why haven't you gone looking for him yet?" She asked, sincerely. An obvious question to ask, but one so difficult to answer. I thought for a few moments, trying to find the words.

"I...I had originally planned on going straight to him once I was changed. Then I was offered a position here. I decided that once I found Edward—and he rejects me again—I'd have nowhere to go. No family, no friends, no clan...nothing. I decided my best bet in the vampire world would be to stay here for awhile. I can learn the ways of the vampire life, become knowledge and truly educated in all things about our kind. I want my eyes to be golden, my newborn strength gone, strong fighting tactics, a firm grip on my ability...all before I see him. I want to be fully put together, I want him to see me in my full potential. I want him to see me clearly, to really make him ponder why he doesn't want me. Although, it's painfully obvious as to why he wouldn't want someone like _me_, but it's worth a shot. I just want to prove to myself I _can_ be as educated and well rounded as his family.

I don't think I'm ready to see him yet, anyway. I'm still too hurt. I can survive, knowing I'll see him again one day...although it pains me to think he may have found another mate by then...but I know he wouldn't have wanted me anyways.

I want to become fully devolved in all that I can, and I want to be able to hold my head up high and look him straight in the eyes the next time I see him. I don't want to be scared, nervous, intimidated...I don't want to feel inferior. I want to look him in the eye and learn for myself the answers I so desperately need to know." I explained. My answer was long, full of confusing sentences...and though I tried my best to explain, my answer made little sense. It explain only minimally the so many reasons that I cannot see him yet...all the reasons that I can't fully put on paper, say aloud, or think of...yet I know they're there, _somewhere_.

"You're good enough for him Bella; you're _better_ than good enough. _He's _the one who's not good enough. _He's_ the one who should be coming back to find you, apologizing and begging for you to take him back. He is in _no way_ superior to you, so don't you forget that!" Bree hissed at me, begging for me to understand that he's not too good for me—begging for me to believe a lie. I will forever know I was never good enough for him...and will never be.

"Thanks Bree, you're a really good friend, you know that?" I told her, smiling. It didn't reach my eyes.

"Not as good as you! You did just save me from death, got berated by some of your fellow...erm..'_staff_'....if that's the word you use...and gave me up a whole half of your room. You showed me some of your most personal sketches, and told me the honest truth of your most intimate battle. It takes a _real _friend to do all that. A real friend like you." She told me, smiling sweetly. Her words touched my frozen heart, and despite my soul mate leaving me behind, despite learning my best friend is in most eye's my mortal enemy...and finding out he happens to be devastatingly in love with me (feelings that I can in no way recuperate)...despite all these things, she was able to warm my stone cold heart. Bless her soul. Which she _does _have. How could someone like her possibly _not_ have a soul?

"Thanks a lot, Bree. That means a lot to me." I smiled.

"Don't mention it! So, when are we going hunting again?"

I laughed. "I can't believe you actually came with me! All you've drank since you became immortal was humans, and now you've suddenly gone vegetarian! I'm so proud of you, you know." I exclaimed. She laughed.

"Well, I can't say it tasted that great...but I'm learning a lot about myself, and I realized I don't want to hurt innocent humans. I want to be good. I believe I _do_ have a soul...no matter how messed up it is...and I don't want to be the monster this life creates. I want to start over fresh, and make my parents proud." Bree exclaimed happily, although there was a deep edge of sadness to her voice. She must really miss her parents. I know I miss mine. At least I can still see Renee from afar...I'll never be able to see Charlie again.

A pang of sadness stabbed into me, and I quickly switched to happier thoughts. Unfortunately, that was still on the back of my mind with all the extra space.

"So, Bree, how did you get changed?" I'd been wondering this for awhile, but didn't know if or when I should ask.

"Uhm.." she hesitated, "That's a story for another time." She concluded. I could tell she was nervous, and I let her drop it. After all, I doubted most humans went on vampire hunts to be changed. Just me. And we already knew something was wrong with my brain.

I know Carlisle was hunting vampires and one bit him, but was unable to finish him off. Edward was dying of the Spanish influenza. Esme attempted suicide mourning the loss of her child. Alice was bit my James. It seems most vampires were brought into this life due to unpleasant circumstances. Except me.

Well, unless you consider your ex vampiric boyfriend leaving you, and your need to go find him...but somehow I'm not sure that counts.

Bree and I basked in comfortable silence, talking back and forth everyone now and then. I sketched pictures of today's battle, and she flipped through some of my other sketch books.

I wondered idly what Jake would be like when he wakes up tomorrow morning...in a citadel full of '_leeches_'.

I sure hope he realizes that I don't want to be anything more than friends. Will he accept my request? Will he let us be simple friends and not push for more? I really hope so...but I have some sort of feeling that he won't. Call it intuition, maybe, but I was beginning to be tempted into using Bree's gift and making myself blend into my surroundings....not that it'd do any good. He'd still smell me. And, well, I want to talk to him anyways.

I am morosely happy that my Jacob's back...even under such dour circumstances.

I've missed Jake. A lot.

* * *

(: I think I might do Jake or Bree's POV next chapter. or both. we'll see.

My first exam is tmo; comm. tech, then math the next day :| i hate math. at least they'll soon be done! (aka, more writting time!)

There is a poll on my profile for whether you are Team Edward, Team Jacob, or Team Switzerland. (Go Switzerland!!) So, I'd love to hear from you guys just to know where you all stand, for curiousity's sake. Besides, then you can learn what Team is most popular!! and i have a feeling it is most definetly not team jake. no one ever goes for him... :(

I also made a community of my favorite Twilight stories, community/Awesome_Twilight_Stories/66258/ --- they've kept me up late at night just dying to know what happens next, so you should enjoy them too! There's 13 stories thus far.

Well, that's all! All reviews are happily welcomed...they make my day!! ps special thanks to bear1819, "bear1819 2009-01-04 . chapter 20 um bree's power maybe invisibility because she seems rather shy or ability to blend in or change features" So thanks for that suggestion, I did use it! (:

**Review Button below...press it to make me smile! Demetri and Cauis like those who review...**


	24. Going Green Eyed

**Chapter Twenty Four**

_Please read my a/n at the bottom after you read this chapter! (:_

**Refresher:**

After Jacob starts avoiding her in New Moon, Bella runs away. After being changed into a vampire, she joins the Volturi. Recently, they had a battle in Forks against Victoria and her newborn army, where Charlie was killed, Bella saved Bree, and Jake agreed to Aro's offer of being a guard dog, after imprinting on Bella.

* * *

**CHAPTER Twenty Four**

**Part 1: Jake's POV**

_'I woke up in a large, comfortable bed. I had the best night's sleep I've had in a while. But...where am I?_' I thought.

I looked around the room, and immediately recognized the scent of leeches, and all the memories came flooding back. There was a clock in the room, and it read 11 o'clock; I've been sleeping for quite a while. I probably had more sleep last night than I've had ever since I first phased.

I stirred in my bed, and then weakly pulled myself out. There was no light down here; just darkness. _All the better for the living dead._

I grabbed a brush laid out on the dresser for me, and combed my hair. I had started growing it long, in memory of Bella. Will she ever want me? A werewolve? Is she over Edward? Will she ever get over him?

I wonder what this '_Vohwltoreey_' is all about. They seem kind of screwed up to me, no offence to them. But seriously, a vampire government?! As if. They're not civilized enough to have rulers—or at least, rulers that actually _control_ them.

But, whatever. If it means more time with Bella, I'll stay here. I'd do anything for her. She's my imprint—and I'll stay by her side no matter what.

I suddenly heard a noise at my door, and Bella came sprinting in, with Bree at her heels.

"Jake! You're awake!" she squealed, excited. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah, Bells. I usually don't sleep that long...I don't know what happened." I admitted.

"It must be us vampires. Perhaps our scent comforts you." She suggested, smiling wickedly. I snorted loudly at the idea.

"Yeah, sure Bella. It was definitely your sickly sweet smell that helped me sleep." I said, sarcastically. "If anything, it was so horrible it knocked me out." I joked, trying to hide my smile.

"Oh, you _really _shouldn't have said that, Jake!" she told, smiling wickedly. Then she pounced. Before I knew it, we were wrestling each other; play fighting.

"Uhm, guys..." Bree asked, hesitantly. Bella looked up, and smiled at her.

"Sorry Bree! I didn't mean to exclude you, it just seemed like a _certain werewolf_ needed to be taught a lesson..." she told her, grinning widely at me.

"I was winning." I stated, matter-of-factly. Shock went through her eyes, then disbelief.

"You did _not_!" she bellowed. "_I _was winning!"

"Whatever you say, Bells." I said, acting as though she were tiring me.

"Stop! Admit it! _I _was winning!" she exclaimed.

"Nope." I told her, popping the 'p'.

"Guys, Aro wants to meet us 12:00, _remember _Bella?! And Jacob still has to eat." Bree declared.

"Fine. Five minutes to get ready Jake—the bathrooms down the hall. Then we'll all go hunting—Bree and I'll go ask Marcus now if he wants to go." Bella decided.

"Sure, sounds good. Anything..._special_ I'm supposed to wear?" I questioned, motioning to the closet full of dresses.

"Not for hunting, but you should just put on one of the coloured cloaks for training—not black though, they're for official business." Bella smiled, and then waltzed lithely out the door, leaving me staring after her.

--x--

Hunting was disgusting. I _hate_ raw meat. Bella actually wanted me to eat the animal after she emptied it. It was repulsive, and smelled revolting. But, she couldn't stand seeing needless animals hurt. She was just the same as always. Since when can bloodsuckers be thoughtful...and caring? Maybe it's just Bella.

Bree seemed to be adjusting alright; she and Bella appeared to already be good friends. She reminded me of the other bloodsucker Bella told me about that she had been friends with; the short one with the black spiked hair. I can't remember her name though—she was with the blonde vamp.

Marcus gave me the creeps. He didn't say a word, but he stared at you like he was looking right through you. It was as though he was void of emotion and would stare blankly without seeing. I wonder what happened to him.

Training was...interesting. The big leech, Felix, I think, volunteered to fight me. He looked like a little kid getting candy. Shouldn't he be a little less excited? I mean, fighting a werewolf doesn't exactly seem like fun to me. However, I did quite enjoy getting to attack him... he and I were both pissed when we were split up. Just because I phased and we were getting close to ripping each other to shreds didn't mean we weren't going to control ourselves.

Then again, maybe it did.

Bella seems to really like it here; she's friends with everyone. She has four other girl friends, although her and the tiny one with the angel-like face—Jane—seem awkward around each other. According to Bella, that had only recently started to get over a large of animosity between them. She didn't expand on that, however, and I didn't question it deeply. They were a lot of things to learn.

I learned about her relationships with all the members—Aro was like a teacher; he taught and bonded with all his pupils, and favoured some above others. He graded and placed them as he saw fit, and could change from peppy to enraged in a matter of seconds. I made a mental note not to get on his bad side.

Cauis had no relationship with Bella. They kept their distance, and only responded when absolutely necessary. I found myself pleased, as I didn't like him one bit. He was hostile and frequently furious. I kept my distance from him.

Marcus was quiet and empty. He said minimal words to everyone, although was the only vampire, besides Bree, who was participating in her vegetarian ways.

Felix was accordingly a big brother to Bella—a protector and a good friend. He was alright, but he didn't seem too fond of me. That wasn't a big surprise, though, 'cause none of them seem to like me.

Jane seems to be uncomfortable around Bella, but is making an effort to be courteous to her. Her brother, Alec, is a good friend of Bella's and they're constantly spending time together. It reminds me of _before _I changed, when everything was so easy and carefree, even if Bella was still dealing with the bloodsucker's leaving.

Eleazer has a minimal relationship with Bella; the most they've talked was when Laurent brought her here.

_I still can't believe he'd do that to her! The double-crossing hellion_.

Demetri kept his distance from her. Corin and Bella seem to be acquaintances. Renata and Santiago's relationship with her is similar to Corin's. Afton is a father-figure, like the leech leader . His wife, Chelsea, is like _his_ wife. They're nice, I suppose; not that I'd ever trust them.

It's interesting. They're like a family, but at the same time...they're like the vampire mafia. They're royalty. They're the leaders of their people. They're live government, a communist government at that. But they're also a family—as grudgingly as I'd like to admit it.

As for my relationships with them, well....Cauis, Demetri, and Renata seem to want to wring my neck. Felix is constantly glaring at me, although when I look at him he quickly looks away. Aro treats me with courteous friendliness, although I can easily see he'd rather I was locked away somewhere and only brought out when they want to _experiment_ with me. Eleazer, Corin, Santiago, Heidi, Jane, and Alec are also rather hostile to me. Alec tries to be nice, as he is a good friend of Bella's, but I can tell that he wished I weren't here, the same with Heidi.

Afton and Chelsea act like parents to me, which is surprising considering they're my mortal enemies. I'm just glad that at least _some people_ in this place can be kind.

Bree is one of my few real friends in this dark, dreary place. She's like a little sister to me, and I love being around her. I know that Bella considers her a little sister too, although we're all really good friends and don't downplay her because she's younger than us; we just protect her, make her happy, and care for her. I know it's no easy for her to have left her whole family behind, and then get forced into joining a vampire army.

Are anyone's lives really easy, though? Bella became a vampire by running away from everything to find the leech that left her. I left everything behind to be with her—the forbidden fruit; my mortal enemy.

How long will it take for her to love me back?

**Part 2: Bree's POV**

I have officially been in the Volturi for one month. It's amazing—_so_ much nicer than my life with Victoria. I just wish my friend's lives could've been spared too.

Bella and I have become inseparable, and I can't help but smile at that. Memories from my human life had faded drastically already, so I can't be positive, but I am _pretty sure_ that I have _never_ had as good a friend as Bella.

We've done lots of training, and I've even fought Jacob a few times. I know most people don't like him, but I think it's all prejudices. He really is a great guy, and I wish they'd give him a chance.

We've had to go do a few fights so far—out of control newborns, deranged vampires who've decided to let out our secrets, immortal children...pretty much everything that could go wrong, has go wrong. It's nothing out of the ordinary, however. We are the protectors and preservers of our kind; there are often difficulties, but we get through them and fight the problems. We are tough, strong, and patriotic. Nothing triumphs over us, and nothing goes by us unnoticed.

I remember in my human life I used to absolutely loathe the authorities—it seems ironic now that I'm one of them. It's crazy how life turns out.

My gift is interesting. I enjoy haphazardly blending into my surroundings, although everyone can just smell me anyways so it's not much use. At least I can hide my face from them if need be, and it certainly does work well for going into town. Bella shares my gift and we can run through the city on the sunniest of days without turning a single head. And to think Eleazer thought my gift was _worthless_.

Humans can't sense me at all when I'm using my gift, but animals still seem to. It certainly scares humans when animals start sprinting past them chaotically, and then, of course, they still get the odd prickling feeling on the back of their necks like they're being watched.

It really would be _so_ easy to suck their glorious blood down my throat—but I'm _not_ a killer. At least, I don't kill humans. At least, I don't _want_ to kill them.

Bella has to work terribly hard to restrain me whenever we leave the fortress. I felt horrible the day I _did mess up..._not just for the fact that I had taken a human life, that I had went back on the humanity I was trying so desperately to cling onto, not just that I had crushed everything my parents had raised me to believe in and live by—worst then all of that, I felt horrible for the guilt I had put on Bella. She blamed herself completely, saying she should have been paying better attention, that she should have found a way to restrain me, that she should have pulled the human away, _anything_. But _I_ know there was nothing she could've done.

Jake was disgusted by me and wouldn't even talk to me for a week. I felt no hard feelings toward him, as I knew I deserved it. I _was_ repulsive. I killed an innocent human, one with a family, friends, a future—Bella has spent so long telling me _why_ she could never possibly hurt a human, and here I killed one right in front of her. I can never forgive myself for that.

What was even more disturbing was that Cauis _congratulated_ me for it. The first time he had even _talked_ to me, and I will forever remember clearly what he said, "_You finally slaughtered a human! Good for you? How'd their sweet blood taste running down your throat? Did you make them squirm first; did you sweeten the blood by tainting with their adrenaline? How did it smell? It's so great to know you're finally growing up!"_ He had smiled wickedly at me, and I knew he was doing it just to spite Bella. I know he doesn't like her at all, and especially hates her vegetarian ways. The ways I _used_ to live by. The ways I still _want_ to live by. I hate the monster inside of me so much!

_I'm a killer! I'm a monster!_

That's my nature, though. Ever since he...since he....since he bit his teeth into me, this is what I've become. There's no turning back, I just have to make the most out of what I have left.

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

Life is good.

Can you believe I actually just thought that?! I never thought I'd think that again. Not after what _he_ did to me. Yet, here I am, _happy_. Or, as happy as I can be.

Jake and I are best friends again, and I love playing around and just being a complete idiot with him. I can be myself, and I have fun. As always, he's my personal sun.

The only thing is, I see the way he looks at me. And that's _not_ the way you look at someone who's just your friend. I know how he feels about me, and he knows how I feel about him—courtesy of Marcus—and not much has changed since the month ago when we first got back from the fight.

He's made no moved on me, and for that I'm ever thankful. If he _ever_ pulled anything, there's no way in hell I'd talk to him again, and I know Alec, Heidi, and Felix wouldn't just let him get by with it. He's not like that though; he respects me. He's happy with what he has, and hasn't tried to push it. That doesn't mean he hasn't talked about us having a relationship, but he understands that I'm not up for a relationship, and that my heart still belongs to Edward. _And always will_. I added mentally, but Jake doesn't need to know that; he's already hurt enough that I keep rejecting him as anything more than a friend.

Everything else has been going the same as usual; we have training daily, and there are missions at least once every week. Often only fractions of us go on them, though. We're powerful even in small clusters.

"Hey Bells," Jake called to me, strolling through my door. He didn't bother knocking anymore; he was always welcome in my room no matter what. (Although, after the first time he barged in and I had only just pulled my shirt over my head, I had started changing in the massive walk in closet.)

"Hey Jake, what's up?" I smiled at him, beckoning him to join me on my couch bed.

"Nothing, really. Bree and Alec are doing some training, and I didn't feel like joining them, so I thought I'd come see you. What are you up to?"

"Just drawing." I shrugged, pointing my head towards the sketchbook in my lap.

"Are you ever going to let me see one of your drawings?" He asked. He's been wanting to see them ever since he found out I'd taken to sketching, but I've refused. They're full of pictures of...._Edward_...and his family. I know that would only make him mad, and I couldn't talk about the drawings anyways without breaking down.

"Maybe, one day." I sighed.

"What are you drawing now?" He questioned. I looked down into my book, as I hadn't been overly paying attention to the picture as a whole, just the small details. It seemed I just draw and the picture _appeared_; I didn't have to plan it out or focus on what to go where. I smirked when I saw what I had drawn, and laughed at the out-of-the-blue drawing.

"Actually...here, you can see it. Just this once." I smiled, proffering it to him. His eyes raked the picture, and I swear I saw his face go whiter.

"D-d-do you j-just draw pictures of...of..._Newton?!_" He questioned, shocked and upset. I burst out in a roar of laughter.

"Of course; didn't you know I'm maddeningly in love with him?" I joked, but he didn't seem to catch that I wasn't serious.

"_What?!_" He gasped, furiously.

"You heard me. I. Am. In. Love. With. Michael. Newton." I said seriously, giggling inside.

"But...he...he...he's a _human_, and you're a bl—vampire...and he...he...he's _Mike Newton!!_" Jake exclaimed.

"Oh, but he won't be human for much longer. In fact, in just a couple of weeks I plan on heading down there and changing him so he can be my mate for all of eternity—doesn't that just sound _fairy tale like_, Jake?" I whispered dreamily, pretending to act like a lovesick teenager.

"Wh-what? No! Bella! You c-c-can't do that! You can't kill him! How could you take away his life like that? And _why_?!" He roared. I couldn't hold it in any longer; I fell onto the floor rolling in a fit of laughter—I knew if I had of stayed in the rickety wooden chair any longer it would've collapsed from my shaking weight.

"Jacob! How could...how could you...how could you actually_ believe_ that!!" I gasped through my bursts of zealous laughter.

"What?" He asked angrily, glaring at me.

"You didn't actually think I was _serious_? Mike and I barely even talked!" I laughed at him.

"Then why are you _drawing_ him?" He asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. I immediately sobered up, as I had realized exactly_ why_ I had been drawing it.

"I don't want to forget anything from my human life. This is a picture of Mike behind the cash at Newton's Outfitters." My first job, my _only _job as a human. The only _human _boy I hung out with. A boy who always welcomed me with open arms, talked to me no matter what anyone said, persisted even when I was with E-Edward. After _he_ left, Mike tried to help me out. He was the most supportive of anyone, besides Angela and of course, Charlie. _The father I killed_.

"Oh." Was Jake's brilliant response. I knew that he was always clueless as to what to say when I got "all sentimental" about my '_past life_'. I know Jake wonders _why_ I would've left it all behind if I missed it so much.

I wonder what it'd be like if I never left. Jake said he was planning on finding a way to tell me _that night_. The night after I left. I supposed I'd spend time with him in La Push, trying to get over Edward—something I knew would never happen. Not even changing into a vampire and the memories of my past fading would _ever_ let me forget him.

I'd continue at school, and _try_ to actually listen to what people were saying, instead of zoning out to my own morbid world of self-pity and self-hate. Jake would comfort me and get me to laugh again. Charlie would be relieved to see me actually smile. He never got to see anything but an empty shell of myself before he was killed.

Renee and Phil would visit, and I'd visit them. I'd continue my job at Newton's, and eventually get my high school education. I'd go to post-secondary and become an English major; perhaps I'd teach that in high school, or edit books, or maybe something completely different like Renee—teaching kindergartners. I'd get married to... or, _would_ I have gotten married? It wouldn't be fair to marry someone while I was still in love with..._him_, and since I'm certain I'd never get over it, I guess I'd just be lonely all my life. I'd grow old and wrinkly, Charlie and Renee would get sick and pass away, I'd eventually retire and wait for my unavoidable death...death I'd probably be well looking forwards to, really.

But, wouldn't Victoria have come looking for me? I know now that the pack had killed Laurent, but Victoria was still looking. I suppose the pack would fight, the Volturi would step in, and Victoria would die. And so would Charlie. There'd have been nothing I could do about it.

I'd either have to move in with Renee, or live with Jake. I know I'd have never left the Olympic Peninsula, so I guess I'd ask the Blacks if I could stay with them. No doubt Jake would be pinning for me then, too.

Well, the vampire life does seem better than my human life would've been, at least I can find solace in that.

"Bella!" Bree came running into the room, her smile lighting up her face.

"Guess what, Bella! Guess what!" She exclaimed excitedly; she luckily drops her shy demeanour whenever she'd around Jake or myself.

"What?" I questioned, confused as to whatever could make her so happy.

"Guess who just contacted Aro?!"

"A vampire?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, Bella, seriously! You'll be really happy!" She exclaimed.

"Fine, just tell me already then!!" I huffed, frustrated.

"The Rousseau Clan! Jacqueline, Auguste, and Pierre!" She giggled excitedly; she knew all about them from my sketches.

"What?! Seriously? Auguste is coming here?" I screeched shrilly, jumping smoothly to my feet.

"Yeah! Renata's excited too, and Jane's actually _smiling!_" She trilled. Soon we were jumping up and down like little school girls.

"When? When, Bree, _when?!_" I prodded.

"Four days!" She sang.

"No way! This is amazing! I can't wait! Come, help me! Let's plan a picture of them—I want to make him a memory book of our last trip with them. Remember the stories I told you about my week there? Help me choose what to draw from what I said!" I exclaimed. I was so happy to see him again! Life was often tedious here, and Auguste was so much fun! He was the one who taught me to draw, and he showed me all around Paris. He was amazingly nice, and I couldn't wait to show him _my_ sketches.

"What about August?" Jake asked, confused.

"August_e_; not the month—a person!" I explained as though talking to a first grader.

"Why are you so excited about some guy and his family coming here?" He questioned me.

"Because he's amazing! They're amazing! I can't wait for you to meet them!" I squealed.

"He sounded really excited to see _you_ again, Bella, from the phone call. Apparently the letters you've been sending back and forth are the whole reason they're coming!" She told me happily, and I hugged her tightly, happy to have such an amazing friend coming to visit me.

I then looked back at Jake, and noticed his hands were trembling slightly.

_"Auguste, who?!?" _Jake spat. _Shoot_; this might be a problem...

* * *

**Sorry I took so long to update guys! I got...er...sidetracked. Don't kill me, but I've started another story. I happened to have been thinking about what I would do when this story eventually comes to a closed, and I was sad thinking about it. I was wondering if there was any other story ideas that could possible capture my interest, and then I thought of something. I had to write it down, so I created the summary. Then I just _had_ to write chapter one...and, well, now there's four chapters. But don't worry; I'll make sure to keep updating this one too--of course! :)**

**Anyways, here's the summary for the other story:**

**Summary:** Bella has left to a boarding school in the Olympic Pensiula to protect her parents from the people of her past. She was fearful of everyone she met, but tried to act normal and blend in. Things were going okay, until she met someone who looked just like _them_. Ghostly pale, inhumanly beautiful, melodic voice, unnaturally graceful, saccharine smell... what will Edward think when the new girl is so devastatingly afraid of him?

**So, please check it out! That'd be awesome. I know some of you have read it already, so, thanks for that! (:**

**Reviews would be awesome; I love reading them. I hoped you liked this chapter!**


	25. It's His Face

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Make sure to read the AN at the end of this chapter!!!!!!!

**Refresher:**

After Jacob starts avoiding her in New Moon, Bella runs away. After being changed into a vampire, she joins the Volturi. Recently, they had a battle in Forks against Victoria and her newborn army, where Charlie was killed, Bella saved Bree, and Jake agreed to Aro's offer of being a guard dog, after imprinting on Bella. Augustus' family is soon coming to Volterra, and Jake is going a little green-eyed.

* * *

**CHAPTER Twenty Five**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

"_Auguste, who?!?" _Jake spat.

"Auguste. He's a friend of mine; I met him in Paris. He has a brother named Pierre who's a musician, and a sister Jacqueline who is a dancer. Auguste is an artist; he was the person who taught me to sketch..." I trailed off, realizing my explanation was not helping Jacob any.

"And _why_ is he coming here?" He growled, shooting daggers at me. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He had _no_ claim on me. I am not _his_. He does not control me or who I hang out with. If I want to spend time with Auguste, so be it! It's not his decision!

"Apparently, he wants to _visit_ with me! Is that such a problem, Jacob?!" I hissed back.

"_Yes_, it is. I won't have another guy pining for you. It was enough when I had to hear you go on and on endlessly moping about your beloved _Edward_. Now, finally, you seem to be getting over him, but you're bringing this filthy _leech_ into your life instead! What is your problem?!"

"_What did you just say?!"_ I sneered at him. How _dare_ he bring up Edward? And what is his deal in not wanting Auguste to have feelings for me? I may not feel anything at all romantic towards him, but if _he_ feels anything towards _me_, Jacob in _no _way had the right to stop it. Jacob has no control over me, so why is he acting like my _keeper_?! And how _dare_ he insult Auguste, calling him a _leech_? Doesn't he realize he's insulting me, too?!

_"_I imprinted on you. That's why I frikken left my family, my pack, my _brothers_. Why? Because I _imprinted!_ And you have no clue what in bloody hell that means, do you?" He seethed, glaring at me.

"It means you're my 'soul mate'. We're meant to be together, for as long as you shall live—_forever_. We imprint on those who are best to carry on the Quileute genes—I don't understand why I imprinted on a vampire, but I guess it must be because you were the best choice for me as a human. Even though you're now a bloodsucker, what was originally supposed to happen has not changed. I don't know how or why..._what could be the reason for fate choosing me to imprint on someone who would become a vampire?_ But I suppose at the time I changed, _you_ were the most perfect person in the universe for me. And, no matter what, you still are. Even though you are my mortal enemy, even though you can't carry on the bloodline, even though the world is against us being together, we can do it." He told me in a rush, his intense eyes probing mine. However, the words he spoke whose tone I would expect to be kind, sweet, caring, gentle...it was anything but. He was cold, hard, intense; his voice was harsh and demanding. I was almost cowering from him in terror.

"Now I've been living here in a palace full of leeches, getting my ass kicked and constantly being sneered at, only to have you continually push me away and not even give me the time of day. I'm the only one who you refuse to look through any of your sketchbooks, I'm the only person you put up boundaries for physical contact with, I'm the only person you're awkward around... _Why _Bella? _Why_?" He demanded, angrily.

"Do you have fun watching me plead, and grovel, and beg for your attention? Is this just some sick, twisted game? I'm in _love_ with you! I'd do _anything_ for you, yet you push me away like I'm nothing! My love for you is never ending! I'm completely in love with you; I can and never will have eyes for anyone but you! _When will you realize that?!_ I've known ever since I first met you we were meant to be together—why are you so tenacious?! Frig, Bella! You're _mine_! I'm tired of sitting in the background and waiting for you to realize you love me too! And now you're bringing some _leech_ in here, some guy who obviously has a thing for you, and you're _excited_. More excited than I've seen you since...since...heck, I don't know if I've ever seen you this happy! _I can't take it anymore Bella_! You need to realize you're in love with me too!" He growled, and I stood stock still, staring at him in pure shock. Anger began to build up; I didn't care if he 'imprinted'—whatever that fully means—I don't care if he's desperately in love with me and wants nothing but to be with me. It's not _his_ decision to make for who I spend my life with! In fact, I'm _glad_ he's jealous of Auguste! Serves him right for continuously trying to make advances on me. When will he realized I'm _not interested_! The _only_ person I will _ever_ feel anything at all romantic for is Edward. And he left me. I'm damned to a 'life' of darkness and night for eternity, as well as a life of loneliness and lovelessness.

"_Jacob Black!_ How _dare_ you! Yes, you imprinted on me. So frikken what? Now I'm suddenly your _possession_? I belong to you no matter how I feel, and I get no say in the matter? No way in hell! I was glad you came to join me here; I was shocked that you would leave your pack for me—but you know what? That does _not_ give you _any_ right to me! It is _my _decision who I spend my existence with, and I have _not_ chosen you. I'm tired of your advances, and that you can't get it through your thick skull that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship with you, with _anyone_!" I hissed.

"You'll see, you'll see you love me too! I'll _make_ you see!" He snarled lividly, his jet black eyes burning into mine with a fiery intensity. As I helplessly stared into them, the anger seething through me and rolling off him in waves, I noticed a resolution suddenly form in his onyx orbs.

He advanced towards me, his eyes never leaving mine. I stood immobile as I tried to process the meaning of his words, as well as the flaming determination in his eyes.

What happened next was a blur, even with my heightened vampire senses. He lunged towards me, grasping his strong, putrid arm around my one shoulder, while his over hand wrapped around the back of my neck. Before my vampiric mind even had a chance to process what he was doing or make sense of his motions, his flaming lips were on mine.

I was too shocked to move, as his lips danced over mine. It was _not_ a sweet, feathery, or chaste kiss like Edward's and mine were. It was hard, aggressive, fuelled by his fury, possessiveness, and jealously. With each roll of anger the kiss intensified, and I was too mortified to move away. _My best friend is kissing me! A werewolf, my supposed 'mortal enemy' is kissing me. Jacob, Jacob is kissing me! A boy—a man. Someone whose not Edward is kissing me!_

The anger boiled through my veins and gave me the strength to fight the incapacitating shock. That's when I realized for the first time how strong he really was. Even my newborn strength found him a match—he was the alpha of his pack, after all.

I pushed his body away from me, trying my best to wreathe my way out of his grasp. He seemed excited at first, mistaking my sudden movement for passion. He was heavily disappointed when I broke out of his rancid, scorching, debilitating hold. He looked at me with shock—yet a hubris, audacious smirk made its way to his lips. I glared at him, my anger still burning strong.

I pulled my arm back, and then whipped it forwards, projecting my arm at his cheek, smashing him with as much strength as my body could muster. It worked. I could hear his bones cracking, and the blood beginning to flow.

Despite the putrid, tainted smell of the blood...it made my throat burn. I had to get away. I darted out of the room as fast as my vampiric speed could take me, and he never followed. For that I was eternally grateful.

Three things I knew for certain—my best friend was completely, irreversibly, desperately in love with me. Secondly, he was a werewolf and thus my mortal enemy. Thirdly, I could never love another man again after Edward.

So...where does this leave Jacob?

The fulsome, egregious, fatuous, choleric, possessive, inconsiderate _mutt_! How _dare _he!

If he _ever_ comes close to me again...well, it's his face.

**Part 2: Jacob's POV**

She punched me. _Bella punched me._

I was angry. I was tired of trying _so hard_ for her to start having feelings for me. She never did. I was prepared to wait...until Auguste was mentioned. Bella was so _happy_. Happier than I've seen in her in...well, quite some time. I was jealous, seethingly jealous. I shouldn't have talked to her like that. And I _definitely_ shouldn't have kissed her.

I guess I deluded myself into thinking she wanted me too. That's the way it's _supposed_ to happen—the person who is imprinted on shouldn't be resisting. At least, not for this long. What makes Bella so different? Many things, I suppose. She was in love with the leech who left her. She's now a vampire. She's working for freaky vampire royalty... I suppose she has a lot of her mind. It's not like she has any more on her mind than me, though...

When will she realize she wants me, too? And how badly have I ruined the friendship that we were slowly growing?

There are so many questions, all unanswered. And every theorized answer brings about a whole new round of questions. Why can't this just be easy?

I could feel my face slowly healing; the bones were mending, the skin bruising, the blood drying. The bruises, so quick to appear, would soon fade. The cuts, too, would heal over. The bones would take longer, but they too would be okay within a matter of time.

Now to figure out this situation with Bella...

**Part 3: Bella's POV**

Today's the day! Auguste is coming, as well as Pierre and Jacqueline.

I've avoided Jake like the plague ever since that incident four days ago. He claimed that I'm _his_. He told me he was in love with me, that I was the only girl for him. He admitted he was jealous of Auguste. He told me that the reason he left everything behind was because of me. He was upset that I kept pushing him away. He didn't like the physical boundaries I had put between us—boundaries inexistent to the rest of the guard. He was upset I wouldn't let him look freely through my sketchbooks. He didn't like the distance between us. He wanted a relationship with me, a _romantic_ relationship...

He wanted too much. Why couldn't he just be satisfied with friendship?

And _why_ did he kiss me?! Does he not realize how big a violation of personal space that is?

"Bella?" I heard Bree ask me, breaking through my personal reverie.

"Yeah, Bree?" I answered.

"Are you okay?" She inquired, truly worried.

"Yeah, I am. I just...I'm frustrated, you know? Jake is my best friend, he has been for quite a while now...but I have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. And it...it _scares_ me knowing how much he wants to be with me. And I'm so...so...so _angry_ at him for forcing himself on me. But, I miss him. Now that I'm avoiding him, I realize how important he is to me...but I just don't know how to do this. How can I be his friend when I know he's going to keep pushing for more? I just...I'm so confused." I sighed.

Bree was quiet. She said nothing, but just thought. That's one thing I really like about her—if we're having a serious conversation, she doesn't blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. She thinks about it, truly thinks about all the possibilities and pros and cons before she answers.

"I think you should make up with him. He has told me about what imprinting is—it's not something he can control. However, he didn't have to blow up at you like he did. He was jealous, though, and it must be really hard on him knowing the one who he's supposed to spend eternity with is set against never being anything but friends. He never should have kissed you against your will, but he was just hoping to break through your rough exterior and have you respond back to his love. I've talked to him, and he truly is sorry, Bella. I think you need to forgive him and make up. Besides, Auguste is coming later, and I'm sure none of his family will be pleased to see a werewolf here. He'll really need someone by his side, someone like _you_. Moreover, I want happy Bella back so you can introduce Auguste and his family to me!" She informed slowly and sincerely, yet ending in her usual perky, bubbly manner.

"Fine, I'll apologize. But couldn't you _try_ to use that little persuasive mouth of yours to convince him that he and I are only meant to be friends? Tell him he's imagining this whole imprinting thing, or _something_." I muttered.

She simply laughed. "Nope. You'll have to discuss that with him." She smiled, jumping off the chair to the left of mine affront the fire. "I'm going to go get ready, Bells! Good luck with Jake!" And with that, she pranced lithely out of the room. I have to say, I am really glad she is enjoying this vampire life.

Even though I helped kill one man, I saved Bree. A life for a life. I'm not _that_ horrid of a monster, it seems.

I slowly walked out of my room, moving as slow as a human. I followed the stench of wet dog through the corridors.

"Jake?" I asked quietly as I stood outside the door. It quickly opened, and I was met with his sorrow filled eyes.

"Bella." He whispered. It wasn't a question, or a statement, but rather a sigh of relief. A name that brought hope, happiness, and life. It was written all over his face, in just that one small word. My name.

"I think we should talk." I murmured. He opened the door wide, and led me into his room, closing the door behind us. He sat down in a chair in front of the fire—he knew that was my favourite place. In my hand I held a sketchbook. This was one of the few that I kept free of the Cullen's sketches—I needed one book that I could reminisce with, without having the hole inside of me tearing open even wider.

"I'm sorry Bells, I shouldn't have done that." He whispered, the first to break the tension-filled silence. His voice was pained and full of remorse; I knew I had to forgive him.

"It's okay Jake, I forgive you—so long as you don't do it again. Bree explained more thoroughly what imprinting is, and I know there's nothing you can do about it. But you have to realize I just can't love you like that! Not right now, anyways. I need time. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love again. But, please Jake—don't push me." I whispered, hoping he'd understand. I don't think I could even try to live without him again, but I also couldn't give him what he needed, what he so desperately wants. Not right now, anyways. Could I ever love him..._romantically_? Someday, maybe. Only time will tell.

Jake's sombre face instantly brightened, to my surprise. "Really, Bells? You'll be my friend again?!" He smiled.

"Of course!" I laughed. I could see he was thinking deeply, calculating something, but a big, goofy grin was still plastered on his face.

"Here, I brought one my sketchbooks. I thought you might want to see it." I told him, putting it on the table between us.

He looked at me, then it, then back to me, smiling widely.

"BELLA!! THEY'RE HERE!!" I heard Bree call, and an equally goofy grin as Jake had filled my face.

"C'mon Jake, let's go meet them!" I called, grabbing his hand happily and pulling his shocked face out the door.

Bree was waiting at the doorway, and grabbed Jake's other hand, helping me fly him down the hallways to where the Rousseau's were waiting.

There they were; three stunning vampires laughing carelessly with Aro and Cauis.

"Bella?" Auguste asked curiously.

"Auguste!" I squealed, running into his arms.

"Bella!" he smiled, encircling his arms around me and spinning me in a circle.

"It's been too long, Auguste! I've missed you so much!"

"As I've missed you," he smiled, and pecked my cheek with a kiss.

That's when I heard the growling in the background grow stronger, and Jacob erupted into a puff of russet fur.

* * *

**So, for the twenty-fifth chapter I thought I'd let you guys know the pairing. Why? Because if it were me reading, I'd be annoyed to death not knowing! And, just because you know the pairing it's not going to change anything--you're still going to wonder how it happens! Anyways, I hope you're happy and not mad I'm telling you this! If you don't want to know, just skip over this A/N! Okay, sweet. The pairing: ExB. Of course. Who would've guessed? Ahhaha. But, there's still Jake, and Auguste...and a few other things in the way. How will Edward and Bella ever get together? And isn't she going to give into Jake's imprinting? And doesn't she seem to have a thing for Auguste? Is anything going to happen with Marcus? Will Edward ever return to Forks? How will he learn she's a vamp?! Thanks to bondidog for helping me decide to reveal the pairing!**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter; a little bit of pushy, tempermental Jacob. Fun! Don't worry--he's still a nice guy! PS, from the polls, I see that 73% of readers are Team Edward, 15% Team Switz, and 11% Team Jake. Thus, I don't think anyone will mind too horribly about this pairring!**

**Anyways, any comments, questions, reviews, whatever--are much appreaticated. I'm one person short of having 100 story alerts for this story! Yay!**

**PS -- try my other story, "Monster from my Nightmare"!! Thanks for reading guys!**


	26. Imprinter & Imprintee

****

Chapter Twenty Six

**Refresher:**

After Jacob starts avoiding her in New Moon, Bella runs away. After being changed into a vampire, she joins the Volturi. Recently, they had a battle in Forks against Victoria and her newborn army, where Charlie was killed, Bella saved Bree, and Jake agreed to Aro's offer of being a guard dog, after imprinting on Bella. Augustus' family is soon coming to Volterra, and Jake is getting a little jealous.

"_As I've missed you," he smiled, and pecked my cheek with a kiss. That's when I heard the growling in the background grow stronger, and Jacob erupted into a puff of russet fur._

* * *

**CHAPTER Twenty Six**

**Part 1: Bella's POV**

It was all so fast. One minute, I was greeting Auguste. The next, Jacob was bursting into his wolf form. The whole massive size, dog-like snarling figuring, snarling—the whole kit and caboodle; the whole nine yards. Right here. In the corridor. Underground. In a space full of vampires.

Before I could so much as comprehend what had happened or think about what to do, he was writhing on the floor. Jane. Didn't she realize this would only infuriate him more?

I cringed seeing him in agony, fighting against her power but not managing to succeed. I was wary of this; what kind of an effect would her gift have on his species? I was nearly with him, crawling in pain, as I saw what he was going through and pondering the effects. If I could've forced my body to think, do, act..._anything_ but stand here, frozen, I would've found a way to stop it.

Luckily, Alec seemed to recognize my thoughts of this only angering Jacob, not to mention hurting him, and used his gift to help Jake out. This broke me out of my trance, and I took Jane's power from her; I've learned that if I take the full power of a vampire's ability, they are completely unable to use it. Jake lay numb on the floor, naked and completely unfeeling.

"Master Aro, Master Cauis—may I have a minute?" I requested. They obliged, taking the rest of the onlookers away with him. Alec gave me a pat on the arm and a pointed glance before he disappeared into the shadows. I noticed Auguste looking questionably between Jake and myself, but he reluctantly left with the others.

I grabbed a decorative blanket hanging on a wall nearby and used it to cover Jake's, err, _assets._

"Jake?" I said timidly, worried about how Jane had affected him. No answer.

"Jacob?" I whispered, walking closer to him and kneeling beside his face. His eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy.

"Jake, you alright?" I questioned once again, staring at his limp body. His eyes twitched slowly and his breathing slowly began to even out.

I put my hand over his messy, charcoal hair. He needs to cut it again; it must be uncomfortable having so much fur when he phases.

"Jacob, are you okay?" I questioned again, growing worried. His body continued to twitch back to life, but that didn't stop the panic from crawling through my dried up veins.

The seconds stretched on like an endless day, panic thick inside me, pulsating through my cursed granite heart. Jake's brow twitched.

My small, delicate iron hands cupped his pale, defeated face. Jacob. _My_ Jacob. My best friend, Jacob. Forever and for eternity, no matter what. Hot or cold, putrid or sickly sweet, fur or granite, werewolf or vampire; my best friend, _forever_.

"Please Jacob. Please, be okay." I whispered softly into his ear, my icy breath biting his flaming ear. His eyes slowly drawled open, adjusting to the light.

"B-bella?" he croaked, his voice hoarse from the screams he had managed to get out during Jane's little escapade_. 'If you exist, thank you God' _I prayed silently to myself.

"Jake?" I questioned, cautious. Was he alright now? Did Jane cause him any permanent damage?

"Hey Bells." He said weakly, smiling up at me. My return grin spread over my face, illuminating it.

It didn't matter Jake had just blown up at Auguste, it didn't matter he had forced himself on me, it didn't matter he imprinted on me, it didn't matter he was a werewolf, it didn't matter that the rules of nature were against us; all that mattered was that he was here, okay. My one little piece of home, all I have left. My comforter, my personal sun, _my Jacob_. Forever and for eternity, the one person I can count on to never leave me; _never again_.

Edward left because he was tired of me; I was just some fling. Our relationship with unnatural, and I was nothing special. I can never hold it against him for leaving. But Jake—he left me for completely different reasons. He left me for _me_.

He just wanted to keep me safe. He loved me; loves me. He never thought that I was plain, or not good enough for him. He didn't leave for any 'distractions'. He left to protect me; but now he's back.

Upon our reunion, he didn't care we were mortal enemies. He didn't care we were supposed to hate each other. He didn't care that I reeked, or chilled his burning skin. He disregarded it, not caring about anything but that it was _me_. Unlike Edward, he doesn't care that our relationship is unnatural. He's here for me, forever, no matter what. I'll never be left alone again.

"You alright Jake? I questioned; his body was still almost completely frozen, toppled on the floor.

"Yeah,I'm_ alright_. I was just burned by a miniature angel-like demon. No big deal." He stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes. _Good_, I thought; if he's up to making cynical comments, he can't be doing too badly.

I wrapped my strong granite arms around his weak, flaming body. His heart was still beating rapidly, like a staccato drum beat rising to the crescendo of a vigorous song.

I never wanted to leave this position, wrapped around him so tight. I wished my cool embrace could wash away the bitter pain, clench the spreading poison of my eternal regrets, remove the scars my flawed existence has left on his heart. I wish my arms, my touch, could fade all the pain and the acid stinging his cuts away. I want to wash the crippling memories away and replace them with nothing but good.

My leaving him when he needed me most. Becoming the enemy to his fantastical existence. Making him watch my father die, and knowing it was because of me. Stealing him from his family and friends. The hostility we've thrust upon him in this place. My coldness and secretiveness about all things concerning Edward. _Everything_—anything that's hurt him in the past. If only my touch could wipe it away; take the pain away like a mother's soothing kiss. _If only._

"Uhm, not that I mind, but don't you think I should get some clothes on?" He smirked, obviously thinking about my arms clung around him with nothing between us but the thin, decorative piece of cloth. "Although, I'd understand if you'd like me to stay this way." He winked.

"No, actually, I'm good. Why don't you get dressed and meet me in my room; I think we need to talk." I told him seriously.

"Oh-okay." He stuttered, instantly nervous.

--x--

_"We need to talk." Edward stated seriously, coldly. His expression was blank and he appeared as apathetic as he had the past few days. I falsely felt hope, though, at these revolutionary words. We were going to sort thing out, talk through our problems. How wrong I was._

_"We're leaving." "I don't want you to come with me" "You're no good for me." "It'll be as if I never existed." "I'll still love you—in a way—but my kind, we're easily distracted." _

_Every word out of his mouth pierced through me, paralyzing me. Comatose. My heart was still beating, yet it was as cold and hard as those who made it that way. Because, in Edward leaving me, his family left me as well._

--x--

_Why? How could Edward do that? I still need to know. I will find out, I will find closure. _My mind snapped back to focus on the matter at hand. Jacob. My words. I've hurt him, yet again.

"Nothing bad, I promise." I told him quickly, smiling shyly.

"Alright." He smiled back, though the nervousness was still clearly visible lurking behind his eyes. I rose from his side slowly, turning to look into those same liquid cocoa orbs in an easier position.

"Need a hand?" I offered him, seeing as it was time for us both to get up and get a move on.

"Really, a _vampire_ offering a _werewolf_ a hand?! What is this world coming to?!" He chided, but took my proffered hand.

"And it didn't even snow this past July!" I exclaimed, grinning at my crazy werewolf friend.

"You never know; maybe this upcoming summer." He kidded back.

"Oh! Jake, after we talk, you should phone home. You haven't contacted anyone since you left for here two weeks ago." I stated, suddenly remembering why I asked Heidi to take me shopping a few night ago. She was like Alice in that matter; I may have only gone for that one small thing, but it became a shopping frenzy.

Now, in a large pile mixed with other random items we purchased, is a cell phone and calling card for Jake. I'd have to a bit of searching in Heidi's magnanimous pile, or—"_our_" pile, to find it.

"That sounds good. I'll meet you in your room in a sec." He told me, smiling gratefully as he jogged through the halls, the decorative blanket still wrapped around himself.

Once he was gone I walked slowly to my room, pondering what I was going to say. I passed by the eerie and desolate corridors, the emptiness and coldness of it sending chills down my spine. My thoughts slowly began to drift to Edward, as they always do. He was my reason for leaving home in the first place, to choosing this different—though not necessarily bad—way of life, and also the cause of the ever-present ache in my chest. I'd do anything to make him love me again, though I'm not stupid enough to think things could ever be like they once were. My only hope now is just finding out the reasons for he and his family's sudden departure. I want to know why he did it; what I did it wrong—what exactly it was that caused him to leave me. I just need him to explain it to me, to tell me why he ended it, to verify it's over. I want to say a proper goodbye to him, and his family. I want, no, _need_ closure.

I wonder if they'll be mad at me for becoming what I am now, when Edward was so against it. I doubt it, though. There's plenty of vampires out there, what's one more? Besides, it's better for them that I'm a vampire now, because humans aren't supposed to know their secret. Surely they won't mind that I am what I am now—Edward won't be more angry at me for it, would he? He was always protective, and completely against any notion that I become like him, but he certainly couldn't be that angry. I mean, he did leave me, after all. Unless he thinks I changed to stock him, and thinks I'm forcing myself on his family. Which I'm not—or, wouldn't be.

One year. That's how long until I will look for them; once my eyes are golden and I've fully discovered my ability and place in the world. Then I'll slowly begin my hunt for them.

"Bella?" A voice called, breaking me out of my trance. This voice was different from the one I had just been talking with; sweet and melodious, accented in harmonious French. Auguste.

"Yeah?" I called back, turning to face him in the dim, yet still easy to see with, light.

"Uh, I was just wondering, who was the dog?" He questioned; curiosity, jealousy, and disgust clear in his voice.

"That _shape shifter_ is my best friend, Jacob." I stated coldly. "But, sorry for him pouncing on you." I told more sincerely, my earnest voice laced in honesty.

"Well, it was certainly an interesting experience." He grinned, unfazed.

"I guess that's one way to look at it." I smiled back. "I have to go talk to him, though. I'm really sorry. We'll definitely catch up tonight, however." I promised happily.

"Alright. Maybe I'll go talk to Bree; she seems nice. The description you gave of her from your letters matches perfectly." He smiled.

"Well, that's good. Go have fun!" I laughed, waltzing back towards my room. I knew Bree would have fun getting to know him; she knows no other vampires outside of the Volturi.

--x--

Jake and I sat side by side in front of the fire; my favourite place to sit.

"So..." I stated, not knowing where to begin. The flames danced in the pit their own tribal dance. Orange, blue, and yellow tendrils of fire shot from one side to the other, flickering on and off. The wood in the hearth was slowly becoming lit, blinding us in its light. It made crackling sounds accompanied by sudden "_pop"_s.

"So..." Jake continued, just as lost on what to say as me. Where were the days of carefree conversation ringing with simplicity and ease? Gone. Gone with the days of my mom laughing and gushing with me over her life. Gone with the beloved and cared for life I had with my father—who, along with my humanity, is also gone. Gone with the blissful days of my eternal love, Edward. Gone. All that's good is gone. Nothing lasts forever.

The fire continued to crackle and burn. The coals were scorching with heat. Pictures seemed to appear in the climbing flames, reflections of my forever-subconscious thoughts digging to the surface, plaguing me. _Who needs sleep to have nightmares?_

"Nice weather we've been having." Jacob stated, motioning to a nonexistent window. I rolled my eyes at him. _We're talking about the weather now?_

Jacob grinned at my "_only you_" expression. _Well, kudos to him for trying to break the ice._

"I'm sorry." I murmured, hushed. He needed to hear this; I had to say it aloud.

"_You're_ sorry?" He asked incredulously, staring at me like I had three heads. What's so strange about me apologizing? Did he really think I was such a horrendous creature that I would never apologize for all the things I've screwed up, and _continue_ to screw up?

I stated a simple "yes", gathering my thoughts.

"What have _you_ got to be sorry for?" He questioned, his tone and expression nearly accusatory.

"Plenty." I sighed. He quirked his eyebrow at me, threatening to contradict.

"I stole your life away, Jake. I've messed everything up. If I had of just waited for you in Forks you would've seen me soon enough, I'd never have to be a vampire or a member of the guard; I'd never be sentenced to an eternity of painful immortality—_your_ mortal enemy. Charlie wouldn't have been killed in front of you—he'd still be happily living, enjoying his sports games and fishing with your dad. You'd be with your family, your pack, and your people. I've ruined everything. I'll never be able to tell you how sorry I am—and even if I could, it wouldn't matter. It's still been done." I finished sadly, quietly. As much as I wanted to become immortal to find Edward and get answers, it was selfish. I never should have done this. I've hurt so many people.

"Exactly!" Jake exclaimed, coming over to pull me onto the floor by the fire, grasping my hands in his. "It's still been done; what's _done_ is _done_. We can't change anything. So stop thinking about it Bells." He demanded seriously. "I need you to stop regretting everything's that's happened. Sure, there are things you and I both wish we could change, but the fact of the matter is, we _can't_. There's _nothing_ we can do about it now. But, it's okay. You didn't _make_ me leave my pack; I wanted to. There's no place I'd rather be than with you." He smiled, giving our entwined hands a tight squeeze. How did always seem to know the right things to say? "Besides, it seems you like being the '_forbidden fruit_', so to speak. You dated a vampire when you're human, and now you've got a werewolf after you when you're a vampire." He smirked, "I really don't mind. Sure, you may smell a little bad..." I wacked him over the head for that. "_Hey!_ You know it's true! I reek to you, too—I've _seen_ you wrinkle your nose!" He laughed. "Yeah, Bells, Charlie died." He said, taking on a more serious, sombre tone. "But, that's not your fault. That's _Edward's_ fault." He spat, and hearing _his_ name come from someone else's lips...it wrenched my stomach into knots inside me.

"I'm just as guilty as _him_. We were _dating_—that usually takes _two_ _people_ to do." I added in boldly. It was true; Edward could never be blamed. He would've protected me had he known, I can give him that much. For the time he _did _love me—which, I have no doubt that at _some point_ he loved me—he would've done nearly anything for me. And I feel he would still have protected me, had he known. Then again, I could be completely wrong. If he truly did care at me whatsoever, he never would have left.

"No, Bella. It's not your fault at all, it's all the _leech's _fault." He stated unhappily, his voice full of angry conviction.

I gave him a pointed glare, reminding him that _I'm_ as much of a leech as _Edward_ is. Realization dawned on him, sparking in his eyes, and he was quickly going back to reword his sentence. I didn't really care; leech, bloodsucker, parasite, tick, mosquito, vampire...they're all the same thing. Why should I be offended?

"_Sorry_... I meant it was all _Edward's_ fault. _Not yours_, Bells." He stated in a definite tone, staring straight into my eyes. I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. "No, Bella. I already know what you're going to say, but you're wrong. It's _all _his fault. He was either going to kill you or make you fall in love with him. He wasn't one of those people who take _no_ for an answer. There's nothing you could have done about it, Bells." He insisted, but I knew he was wrong. Edward gave me the chance multiple times to walk away, for me to just leave him alone and keep far away. But, I was too love struck to do that. I truly was a '_stupid lamb_'. Jake already knew this, though—he just refused to believe it was anyone's fault but Edward's.

"Mmm." I said quietly, indicating I had heard him, but not showing whether or not I believed him. I didn't want to talk about this any longer—I've thought about it long enough; I just wish I could forget it already.

"Now, Bella, I think I need to apologize." He stated austerely. Now it was _my_ turn to look incredulous.

"What do _you_ have to apologize for?" I scoffed, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.

"For being an idiot. Listen, I know I've already apologized, but I really am sorry for, well, for forcing myself on you earlier. Really, I am a complete jerk. I actually can't believe you're still talking to me. And then, again, after losing my temper with Auguste...really, Bells, I don't understand how you can even sit here holding my hand at me after what an idiot I've been." He let out sadly, forcefully, ashamedly.

"Jake, no, I understand. Well, I mean, it really was _not_ okay for you to do..._that_...against my will, but I'm not going to go off on you for it. Everyone makes mistakes, and while I wish you _hadn't_ done that, I can't find it in myself to hate you for it. I know I haven't been treating you fairly lately, but I'm just so..._upset_ after everything with E-Edward. He was everything to me, and I know how much you hate him—and I just, well, I don't want to set you off. And then I'm hurting _so much_, Jake. I don't want to add any more burdens to you, to cause any more stress then you're already dealing with, after me making you come here and all," I continued, finally letting it out. Unfortunately, Jacob stopped me.

"No, Bella, wait. I have to say something. _It is not your fault I'm here_. It's not anyone's _fault_. It's not a "fault" at all. I wanted to come, Bells." He told me, his dark mocha brown eyes piercing mine, as though he was telepathically trying to engrain the message into my mind. "And it seems I have to apologize for something else, as well. I never meant to pry into your life. I know how hard it is for you to talk about _Cullen_, and I really do understand that having me here would make you uncomfortable—there's been more than one time before I've brought him up, unintentionally hurting you. You don't have to apologize for that either, Bells. I understand, really. You just need time."

I stared up into his orbs, amazed by how mature he could talk, and how understanding he could be.

"Bells, please, just...I'm just really sorry. I've been such an idiot lately. I realize now how...how _horrible_ I've been, and I'm not going to be like that anymore. If you just want to be my friend, that's fine with me. If you want me to be your older brother, younger brother, whatever—it's fine me with me. If you want me to be a mentor, protector, care-taker, accomplice, friend—whatever you want, I'll be it. I promise that no matter how much it may hurt me if you l-l-like someone else, I'll manage. Don't do anything to make me happier, Bells. I live only for you, and seeing you happy makes me happy." He smiled, and then continued. "I really screwed up today. I'm not use to the...the _anger_. As werewolves, or _shape shifters_ as you call us, we have a temper that's very hard to control. It's part of the reason why I wasn't allowed to see you after I first phased—I could hurt you, severely, if you so much as said the wrong thing or looked at me the wrong way. I'm really trying to get over it and these intensified emotions of anger, but I'll do it, Bells. Anything for you." He told me, and I could practically feel the honesty seeping through it; the love, the sincerity, like a warm, comforting blanket keeping me safe and together. Jacob; my personal sun. Forever.

"Thanks, Jake...for everything. For being so honest with me. I'll try to be more open, too, from now on. I really appreciate you telling me this. And, well, you already know that I don't have..._romantic_ feelings for you, Jake, but I do love you, as a friend—as a brother. I'm just not ready for a relationship right now, and I don't know if I ever will be," I explained, just about to tell him the ending to the speech I've wanted to say for quite a while now. I know I've said it before, but this time it just seems so much more..._honest_. It's like a wall between us has been taken down and I can tell him how I feel so much easier now.

However, he cut me off before I could finish my graceful ending.

"Oh, Bells! I'm so happy! I don't care how long—or if you ever—see me romantically. So long as you'll talk to me, _be_ with me, that's all that matters. I just need you in my life, Bells." He smiled, hugging me in a very tight, bone-crushing hug; it was so tight that I actually felt my granite skin being smooshed together in the circle of his arms.

_"_Sorry to break up this moment, _Bella,_ but Aro wants to see everyone now." A voice came from the doorway. When did they approach? I didn't hear anyone, and I _always_ hear it when people come to my room, even though they're graceful vampires—_especially _if they open the door.

"What does he want, Bree?" I asked the figure in the doorway; I bet she used her camouflaging technique to hide herself from our view while she watched—it was the typical _Bree_ thing to do. Though I really am surprised I hadn't smelled her or heard her approach.

I was really annoyed Aro wants to see us. I wanted to talk to Jake some more, now that we've finally gotten things straightened out. I guess that'll have to wait.

"Something about a good 'old family supper. Don't worry, Marcus is already waiting for us. I think Aro just wants to say a few words before we go, though." She explained.

Sighing, Jake and I got up and proceeded to the door. That's when I saw Auguste standing by her. I looked up at Jake nervously, and saw him give a curt nod to the man he so quickly has taken a disliking to. At least he's making an effort be nicer now—though I could see his hands clenched in fists at his side.

"Come on, _mon cheri Bella_, I'd like to learn how you hunt!" Auguste exclaimed in his thick French accent, smiling a huge, breath-taking smile. I couldn't help but return it.

"I'd love to!" I replied, and the four of us walked together to find Aro before our hunt with Marcus.

I wonder what Auguste will think of the vegetarian eating smile.

I just hope Auguste and Jacob can behave themselves...

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE: **(yeah, this one's pretty extensive...)

.*.When Bella is worried about Jake after Jane used her power on him, she does have a legit reason. Yes, Jane's power is purely mental, but the pain could cause emotional/psychological problems, and she doesn't know how it affects those outside of their own kind.

.*. Someone told me this in a review, and I feel the need to explain myself. "_When a wolf imprints on a person they become completely and selflessly devoted to that person, as long as that person is happy they're happy. This is spelled out quite clearly in the books. Thus, if Jake has imprinted on Bella then he'll be happy as long as she's happy. He'll become whatever she needs, so if all she wants is a best friend then that's what he'll be content to be. He certainly wouldn't force himself on the imprinted_."

I do completely agree with what he/she said, however, I don't think that makes how Jake acted incorrect according to the books. Sam permanently scarred the face of the girl he imprinted on. That is _not_ the way to treat your soul mate, obviously. So why would Sam do this? Doesn't this go against everything imprinting stands for—unconditional love for the imprinted and wanting only what's best for them? No, it does not go against imprinting. Being a werewolf, anger is intensified for the first while, somewhat like the crazed newborn stage. It actually takes days for them to calm down enough to phase back into human form after their first transition into being a wolf. Sam did not hurt Emily intentionally, and just because he imprinted on her it doesn't mean he was unable to hurt her.

In the past chapter, Jake forced himself on Bella and blew up on her. This, also, is _not_ the way for someone who imprinted to treat the person they imprinted on. However, the anger he felt was intensified and he truly could not stop himself with such raging emotions. Also, although Jake has physically matured drastically, that does not mean his emotional maturity is the same. He truly believed that if he told Bella how he felt she would fall in love with him; that if he finally took the chance and kissed her, she'd kiss him back and things would be all good. Well, at least, part of him felt that way, that doing this would clear up her feelings for him.

The anger he felt was because Bella had been pushing him away, and he wanted to be with her so badly. Yes, the imprinted will be whatever those the imprintee wants or needs them to be, but that doesn't mean they don't have freewill. Believe it or not, this is a personal opinion, but I'm pretty sure even those who imprint can screw up with those they imprint on. Jacob deluded himself into thinking Bella wanted him and that this was the best way to show her his love, and hit her with the realization that she was in love with him too. He felt the pull not to do it, but he still had the anger and the free-will. He was so tired of bottling up his feelings and emotions that he just had to let it out; _he couldn't control himself_—just like Sam.

Luckily, in this chapter the imprinting sense has taken over. Yes, he had to blow up at Auguste first, but he was able to talk to Bella and get over his problems, thus becoming and acting the way someone who imprints should really act.

I hope this makes sense to you all, and corresponds to the books. It makes sense in my mind...


End file.
